Starting Over One Last Time
by RBfan4ever
Summary: I wasn't exactly thrilled with the end of S3, so I wrote a 1 page "rant", it turned into ... THIS! I do NOT own Rookie Blue or the songs I used. Credit for the story itself, goes to the voices I heard in my head! lol
1. Chapter 1

**Picks up after Sam says, "I'll be at the Penny" before he starts to walk away ...**

* * *

"What'd you do?"

Both Sam and Andy turn at the sound of Sam's sister Sarah's voice.

"Sarah ..."

"Uh, Sis, this isn't a good time ..."

"Why? Because you don't want your sister calling you an idiot in front of your girlfriend?"

"_Ex_-girlfriend," Andy said quietly.

Sarah couldn't believe her ears. "What'd you say?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably when his sister turned her attention to him. "Is this some kind of joke? Because Sammy, it's not funny."

"No joke, Sis."

"Somebody want to start talking and tell me _what the hell_ happened?!"

Sarah listened as - both at the same time - Sam and Andy told her their view of the events of the past 6 weeks - including the scene she had walked in on.

"He tells you he loves you and you tell him you don't care anymore? I'll beat the sense into you myself!" Sarah said frustrated.

"Not on my watch, you won't," her brother replied.

Sarah smiled at her brother's protectiveness of Andy

"Sammy, I love you, but I think Andy and I need to talk," when Sam would've objected, Sarah added firmly, "alone."

Sam reached out to his sister, "Sarah ..."

Sarah turned back to her brother. "Do you trust me?"

Sam smiled as he looked from his sister to Andy and back before answering, "There's one person I trust with my life besides McNally and that's you, and you know it."

Sarah squeezed her brother's hand before turning back to Andy. "There somewhere we can talk?"

Sam watched the two most important people in his life walk back through the station.

Andy leaned against the desk. "Did he just say he trusts me with his life?"

Sarah stared at Andy, "You're his partner, of course he trusts you ..."

"His partner," Andy repeated.

Sarah looked at her brother's girlfriend incredulously. Did she _really_ think Sam only thought of her as his partner at work?!

Which led to another question, which she voiced - "I thought he told you how he felt?"

"Uh, yeah, he told me today ... while I was holding a grenade."

Sarah shook her head. "Leave it to my brother to wait for the worst possible moment."

"You mean he _meant_ it?"

Sarah sighed. _Oh Andrea._

"As much time as you spend with my brother I would've thought you'd know him well enough to know that's _not_ something he takes lightly or just throws around."

"Considering the way he's treated me for the last six weeks how was I supposed to know it _wasn't_ said in the heat of the moment to take my mind off the bomb in my hands?!"

"He could've told a bad joke if _that_ was all he was trying to do, and I think you _know_ that."

"What I _know_ is these last six weeks have been hell on earth without him. What I _know_ is he shut me out. What I _know _is he promised I'd never get rid of him without a fight, but he _left_ me!" Andy's voice broke.

Sarah's heart went out to the woman in front of her.

"Listen, Andy, I know my brother's not always the easiest guy to be involved with, but believe me when I say I've _never_ seen him the way he is with you; I know that doesn't make up for the last six weeks , but my brother's never had anyone he was afraid to lose before."

Andy just stared at the woman who knew Sam better than anyone.

"He's got a helluva way to show it."

"It was easier to push you away than admit the idea of you being in Traci's shoes terrifies him,"

"Nothing terrifies Sam."

"Are you _really_ that blinded by hurt? Or do you just refuse to see it?" Sarah asked on a frustrated sigh.

"Huh?"

Sarah pulled a chair up in front of Andy, who was now sitting on the edge of the desk.

Putting her hand on Andy's knee, Sarah looked at the woman her brother had fallen in love with.

"You're right. Not many things scare my brother - losing you does. Hell, you think it hurt _you_ when he walked away, what do you think it did to _him_?"

"I don't know what it did to him, because until I was holding that bomb he wouldn't talk to me!" Andy yelled.

"Y'know, you're almost, _almost_ as stubborn as he is."

"Excuse me?"

"Great trait for a cop, maddening as hell for the people in your personal life," Sarah went on as if Andy hadn't spoken.

"You can talk _without_ talking on the job but when you're off the clock you don't know enough _to_ talk!"

Sarah got up, pacing. "God, how do you put up with each other?"

When Andy would've defended their relationship Sarah said, "Don't bother, it was a rhetorical question," shaking her head in frustration that things had gotten so bad, so fast.

Looking out the window, Sarah saw Sam watching them, gave her brother a small smile and silently wondered, _How the hell do I fix this?_

Turning back to Andy, Sarah sighed as she leaned against the desk.

"He called me that night," she said gently.

"What night?" Andy asked.

"Six weeks ago. At first I thought he was just wasting long distance because he didn't talk, just when I was about to hang up thinking he was gone, " Sarah smiled sadly, "he spoke. Brilliant conversationalist that my brother is, he didn't give me details; I just knew it wasn't good, but I had _no_ idea what happened, I just knew it totally gutted him."

"From day one, I always thought he was the _one_ person who'd never leave me," Andy whispered, through tears. "Both in uniform and out of it … guess I was wrong."

Andy's tear-stained confession tugged at Sarah's heart.

"You weren't wrong, Andy," Sarah said gently.

"How can you say that after everything that's happened?!"

"Were you _not_ there when my brother covered your hands with his?! Or did that minor detail skip your notice? Whether you _want_ to acknowledge today or not, he was there when it mattered. He did _not_ let you go through that alone." Sarah shouted.

Before Andy could respond there was a knock at the door.

Sam took in Andy's tear stained face before leveling his sister with a look.

"Ok, Sis, I think you've done enough damage ..."

"Damage? I'm trying to _fix_ the damage ..."

"That's enough, both of you." Andy couldn't take their arguing anymore.

Sam was taken aback. Usually when Andy was pissed at him there was fire in her eyes and acid in her tone; that sounded broken, tired ... lifeless. It broke Sam's heart to know he was the cause of any kind of pain Andy felt.

When Andy didn't get up to slam the door in his face Sam took a gamble and stepped into the room, closing the door behind himself to lean against it.

"I don't remember invitin' you to this little party, little brother."

"Guess it's a good thing I didn't wait for one then, isn't it?"

Sarah leveled her brother with what rookies and veterans alike would call the patent Swarek glare, a look that said _don't screw with me!_

Too bad for Sarah, it had absolutely _no_ affect on Sam.

Pulling away from the door, Sam moved to stand in front of Andy. Never taking his eyes off her, Sam quietly but in what Andy would describe as his Training Officer tone, said, "Sarah, out."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me … out."

When Sarah didn't move, Sam inclined his head towards the door and gave her a gentle shove in its direction.

But Sarah wasn't taking the hint.

Finally Sam got fed up with his sister's utter refusal to leave on her own and escorted her to the door. Once the door was shut firmly behind his sister, Sam reached first for the lock, followed by the cord for the blind effectively shutting out everything and everyone but the two of them.

Andy sat silently, staring at the floor as Sam gently, but forcefully removed his sister.

Walking back to the desk Sam couldn't keep himself from wondering what had been said.

The girl who was allergic to silence had yet to look at or speak to him. Placing his hands on both sides of her hips, Sam whispered her name.

When she refused to look up, Sam reached up and raised her chin. The dampness that met his touch broke his heart.

She sat quieter than a church mouse - a detail that did _not_ escape Sam, only this time, as hard as he tried, he couldn't read her mind to know what she was thinking and that unnerved him.

She over thought _everything_, well, except her feelings for him, when it came to him she followed her heart … no matter where it led - including undercover.

He just hoped her heart was still his, that what she'd said about not caring anymore wasn't true. And he knew her well enough to know it wasn't. If she didn't give a damn she wouldn't cry, which she had, which she still _was_.

The knowledge that he could be the cause of so much pain for the woman he adored went down hard, but he was determined all the pain stopped now - the pain _he_ caused anyway.

He couldn't take her tears, the more he wiped away the more that fell, so he did the one thing he could - he took her in his arms and held her as she cried.

There wasn't usually music playing in the station so he was a little surprised when he heard -

_When you try not to look at me  
Scared that I'll see you hurting  
You're not hiding anything, no  
And frankly it's got me worried  
Nobody knows you better than I do  
I keep my promises, I'm fighting for you_

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, with you_

_I'm not going any place_  
_I just hate to see you like this_  
_No, I can't make it go away_  
_Oh, but keeping it inside won't fix it_  
_I can't give you every answer that you need_  
_But I wanna hear everything you wanna tell me_

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, oh_  
_Yeah, I cry with you_

_You need love tough enough to count on_  
_So here I am_

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, oh_  
_You're not alone, oh no, baby_

Sam didn't think he'd _ever_ heard a song that was truer in that moment. He'd have to find out who it was and the title because he _needed_ that song when she cried.

Andy wrapped her arms around Sam as he held her, finally feeling safe after the day's 'up close and personal' encounter with a grenade. She still had to process everything he told her - both at the scene and in the locker room. Then there was Sarah's lecture. She wasn't sure she could deal with it all tonight, but at least for this moment in time, Sam's arms were around her and she was ok.

Andy cried until Sam's T-shirt was wet and there were no more tears to cry. When Sam tried to pull back to look at her, Andy's arms tightened . Sam simply rested his cheek against her temple and whispered, "Talk to me."

Andy inhaled a calming breath, filled with Sam's scent. She didn't want to fight, it felt too good to be in his arms again.

As much as Sam didn't want to fight with her, Sam _knew_ it was probably gonna happen, probably _needed_ to happen for them to get passed this. He stood there with her in his arms for a few more minutes before pulling back despite her objections. Framing her face with his hands, Sam gently kissed her once before bracing his hands on either side of her hips again and resting his forehead against hers.

"Talk to me."

"Do we have to do this now?"

"We can do it here or we can do it at home, but we _are_ going to talk."

One word caught Andy's attention - _home_. He didn't say 'my place' or 'your place' he said 'home.'

"What about Sarah?"

"You wanna talk to _my sister_?" Sam feigned hurt.

Andy hit his chest. "No, you jackass …"

Sam laughed. Kissing her cheek he replied "She's not an issue. Now you gonna talk to me?"

Andy dropped her head on his chest and answered gently, "Not here."

Sam stepped back as she jumped off the desk, opening the blind and unlocking the door. He held the door open as they left the office. Sarah jumped up the instant she saw them, but didn't get a chance to say anything because the moment he saw his sister, all Sam said was, "No."


	2. Chapter 2

With their gear in his right and his left hand on the small of Andy's back, Sam led her out to the truck.

After pulling into the driveway and killing the engine Sam got out and rounded the back of the truck. Leaving their bags in the bed, he opened the door and helped Andy out.

Once inside, Sam went straight for the fridge. He figured they'd both need a drink by the time they were finished . He returned to the living room to find Andy curled up on the couch.

Happy just to have her back under the same roof, Sam covered her with a blanket before settling into the other end of the couch.

He didn't know how much time had passed before movement from Andy caught his attention seconds before she screamed.

Careful not to startle her, Sam knelt on the floor next to her and was about to wake her up gently when she screamed again …

"Sam, there's a bomb … _GO!_"

_What the hell?_ Sam wondered, that was _not_ how it happened, and then it dawned on him - she wasn't re-living it, she was seeing worst case scenario, not where _she_ got hurt, but him, and he couldn't let her do that.

Getting to his feet, Sam picked Andy up and sat with her in his arms before he began attempting to pull her out of the dream.

He knew he was going to have to hold on tight, because the moment she heard his voice she'd flip out not being able to tell the nightmare from reality. He wished he didn't have to talk but there was no other way, there was nothing else he _could_ do. His only problem now, was _how_? Did he talk to her like he did at home? Or did he take the chance of making things worse by using in T.O. voice? There wasn't much of a choice to make if he really thought about it. As scared as he was of making it worse, he _knew_ she'd listen to that tone. Like he once told her, experience showed them that.

Tightening his arms and saying a prayer she didn't clock him, Sam whispered _I'm sorry, baby_ before raising his voice "McNally! Come on McNally, wake up!" she struggled for a moment before Sam was able to hold her arms and tried again, "Come on McNally, it's time to wake up."

"No Sam, you can't …"

Sam cut her off by putting more force into his voice, "McNally! That's enough! You're ok … _I'm_ ok, but you _need_ to _wake up_!"

He could tell by the feel of her body that the nightmare was finally losing its grip on her and when she whispered "Sam?" he could hear the tears in her voice.

Kissing her temple, Sam hugged her and replied, "Yeah?"

Pulling his arms tighter around her, Andy whispered, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything."

Knowing there was something on her mind, Sam replied, "You wanna be a _little_ more specific there, McNally."

It really wasn't fair, the way he could read her like a book.

Andy let out a sigh and Sam's arms tightened reflexively.

"I know we need to talk, but …"

Sam kissed her temple. "You _really_ think I'm gonna force this after _that_?"

Andy didn't know what happened, all she remembered was the fear.

Sam could feel when the fear began to take hold again. Standing with Andy in his arms, he carried her up to the bedroom. Setting her on her feet, he undressed her before getting her clean towels and pajamas and pushed her in the direction of the bathroom. "Shower. Now."

"Sam …"

"No arguments, McNally. Go."

"But I had one at the station …"

"Do _not_ make me throw you in the shower, McNally. You spend like 5 minutes in the shower at the barn. Now _GO_."

Damn him! What did he do _time_ her showers at the station?!

She considered arguing, 'til she saw 'the look' and huffed, "Fine," before turning for the bathroom.

Sam laughed.

Half hour later, Andy found Sam back on the couch. Sam opened his arms and asked, "Feel better?" as she sat next to him with her head on his shoulder and her feet curled beneath her.

"A little. Thanks."

Sam laughed at the begrudged admission. "Would it kill you to admit _for once_ you needed that?"

"If it means stroking _your_ ego, damn right it will!"

Sam laughed, preparing himself for the battle he knew would come when he tried to get her to sleep.

"Sam, no."

"Andy, yes."

"I can't," came the tearful response.

Sam made sure she was looking at him when he said, "Yes, you can. I'll be right here."

How did he _know_ that she needed to hear that?

"Promise?"

Again, Sam stood up and taking Andy by the hand and headed for the bedroom. Pulling back the covers he gently but firmly said, "In," and pointed to the bed.

Andy was too exhausted, both physically _and_ emotionally to fight him anymore and climbed in bed.

Sam got ready for bed as quickly as he could, knowing she wouldn't close those beautiful brown eyes until he was next to her. Sam no sooner climbed in and she was there. He wrapped his arms around her, kissed the top of her head and told her to go to sleep. He lay there holding her, grateful for the day off tomorrow, knowing it would be a long night.

And a long night it was. Andy woke up in a cold sweat many times not calming down until she heard his voice and felt his arms tighten.

The next morning Andy woke to Sam getting out of bed and grabbed his arm.

_Shit!_ He'd hoped she'd sleep while he made coffee. Reaching out his hand he pulled her out of bed and into his arms. Kissing her temple he said, "It's ok, I was just going to put coffee on."

When Andy showed no signs of crawling back in bed, Sam turned her towards the door. "Come on."

Andy gripped his hand, she wasn't ready for this.

Sensing a change, Sam stopped and looked at her. "You _know_ we have to."

"But Sam …"

Sam touched her cheek. "No arguments. We _are_ gonna have this out. I'm not lookin' forward to this anymore than you are. But we _have_ to, Andy."


	3. Chapter 3

Andy leaned against him. Somehow it helped to hear he was afraid of this too. And he knew that. As hard as it was gonna be, she could do it, because of him. She could do anything - even survive holding a bomb - because of him.

If somebody asked him he couldn't tell them how he knew, but something changed, the _fear_ was gone, in its place the strength that _was_ Andy McNally … Sam just wished he knew where she got it.

He had no idea he'd voiced the question so her answer startled him. "You."

"What?"

"You asked where I get my strength from. You."

Sam unconsciously relaxed. Maybe this wasn't gonna be as bad as either of them feared. At least he _hoped_ it wasn't. They just needed to talk … and instead of getting all defensive and pissed, _listen_ to each other. As passionate as they were, he was pretty sure it wasn't gonna be that simple … or easy.

He could almost hear Jerry's voice asking him _Is she worth it? _Hell yes. _Then hold on tight brother and do __not__ let go. _If there's one thing he learned these last six weeks, and after yesterday, he could quit breathing easier than he could do _that_. He was pretty sure Jerry was somewhere laughing his ass off at how tightly Andy McNally had him, Sam Swarek, wrapped around her finger.

He poured their coffees and led her into the living room. Setting their coffees on the table, he sat on the couch and pulled her into his lap.

They had almost finished their coffee before Andy turned to Sam. He brushed the hair from her face. "You ready to do this?"

"No, but you're not gonna let this go, are you?"

"Of course I am," Andy couldn't believe her ears, "_after_ we talk."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because we have to."

Andy laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I think the term Sarah used to describe your communication skills was 'brilliant conversationalist'."

"_My sister said that?!_"

"Last night."

"Let me guess, you agreed with her."

"Own it Swarek, talking _isn't_ your strong suit."

"This from the girl whose favorite answer is 'fine' when something's wrong." Sam chuckled as he kissed her temple.

Andy elbowed him in the ribs before she curled back into him.

Sam waited until she relaxed before he tried again.

"Seriously, the longer we wait the harder it's gonna be and it's gonna be hard enough. So talk to me."

When Andy would've moved Sam's arms tightened and he softly said, "Don't even think about it, McNally."

Andy sighed. He could be so damn stubborn! But then so could she. But she wasn't really willing to put their relationship on the line to see who had the stubborn streak in spades, because she was almost positive it would be a draw and they'd just end up hurting each other more. Although God knew this was gonna hurt … both of them and as far as she was concerned there was enough hurt in the last six weeks to last a lifetime.

Thinking about that night in the parking lot of the Penny in the rain, Andy couldn't help it when the tears started to fall.

Sam felt more than heard when she started to cry and couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking.

"I can't fix it if you don't talk to me," he whispered against her temple.

Lost in her own thoughts, Andy didn't know she was talking aloud when the flood gates opened and she began to speak ...

"I was more humiliated than hurt by Luke. I mean you warned me he picked a new rookie every year. I felt like a fool. I was scared to tell you what happened, what he did, scared to hear you say 'I told you so.' I didn't love him, not really, not like I love you. I don't know how you put up with me while I was with him, I don't know _why_ you put up with me while I was with him.

It hurt, the night you went under without telling me. I blamed myself, thought if I hadn't been such an idiot you wouldn't have left, you wouldn't have felt like you needed to put yourself in unnecessary danger.

And then when Traci and I turned around and saw you at the Alpine, I thought if I got the chance, I couldn't walk away like I didn't give a damn, like you didn't matter to me.

And then Brennan took you and I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. All I could think was it was _my_ fault. And then we found you but Oliver made me stay in the car. I was pissed, I was hurt, but more than anything I was scared. Scared of what he was doing to you. Scared of how they'd find you. Scared we were already too late.

And then you walked out and all I wanted was to run to you and have you put your arms around me and tell me you were ok, that _we_ were ok. But you just walked passed me like I was some faceless, nameless cop instead of …

Then we got suspended and I didn't know what to do. They said no contact and I couldn't be here and _not_ be here with you, _not_ talk to you. And then you accused me of putting my badge before us and I, my God, next to my dad, you're _the_ most important person in my life- both on the clock and off.

Then my M.I.A for 14years, mom showed up and instead of taking her out to lunch to get to know her, you do a background check to protect me!

Then Jerry … Then Jerry died trying to save Gail and my world fell apart. I thought you blamed me. But you said you didn't … you just couldn't be a cop and be with me.

Nick tried to be my 'break up buddy' but I didn't _want_ to get over you. You were … You _are_ the greatest thing to ever happen to me - even if I _did_ fuck up your cover for Guns 'n Gangs and make an enemy for life outta Boyd. I can't regret that, that 'rookie move' brought you into my life.

Then the M.I.A. mom told me not to be 'that girl' who lets a guy define her. I never _saw_ myself as _that_ girl but I took her advice and talked to Luke about the taskforce. I didn't really _want_ to be involved but seeing you every day and not being able to _be_ with you was, it was like the suspension period, I didn't know how to _do_ that.

I'm pretty sure what I said yesterday about holding a bomb _not_ being a goal of mine is one hell of an understatement, but it wasn't. I probably could've lived my life and _never_ said 'I wonder what it'd be like?'

You probably think I said you didn't have to be there yesterday because I was pissed, but I wasn't, I was scared shitless. All I could think when I saw you was 'please don't let anything happen to him!' It didn't matter if anything happened to me, as long as you were ok.

I know there's days it seems like all you do is save my ass and I'm sorry for that. For being more trouble than I'm probably worth.

And then you, the guy who gives new meaning to the expression 'playing it close to the vest,' told me you loved me. And every dream I had since we met came true, except it was a nightmare because I was standing there holding a live grenade!

Then we got back to the station and … and all I wanted to do was tell the world to go to hell. I was _beyond_ draggin' my ass exhausted, physically _and_ emotionally. I mean _none_ of yesterday was covered at the academy!

Then in the locker room you … for the first time in six weeks you wanted to _talk! _And I was just so … God, I don't even _know_ what I was, but you were just too much.

Then Sarah showed up and the day from hell went past the point of no return. I mean I love you so I know I'm gonna love your sister, but last night there was just _way too much_ Swarek happening!

I mean I never thought I'd meet your sister as your _ex_, not that we were formally introduced or anything. Or that our first conversation would be a knock down drag out screaming match. Of all the 'first meeting' scenarios I imagined with your sister gettin' called on the carpet for not fallin' at your feet when you said 'I love you' was _not_ one of 'em!

I mean I know I told you I didn't care anymore and sometimes I almost wish I didn't, maybe then it wouldn't hurt to breathe without you, but I can't. I don't think I've ever meant anything more in my life than that day in your truck when I told you I loved you. I know it sounds cheesy, even cliché, but it's the truth, you _are_ the beat of my heart."


	4. Chapter 4

When it was over and she was quiet, Sam just sat there holding her in his arms while he digested _everything_ she'd said - and she'd said _a lot!_ More than he'd actually expected.

Sam was so quiet Andy almost thought he'd fallen asleep. So when his words "I _never_ would've said 'I told you so'," filled the silence she actually jumped in his arms.

He chuckled as he kissed her temple and whispered, "Sorry."

When her heartbeat returned to a normal rhythm Andy relaxed in his arms again.

"You thought you wanted Luke, I wanted you to be happy. As hard as it would've been to see you with him, I would've supported _you_.

As for why I put up with you, it's not _that_ hard to figure out.

I'm sorry I left without telling you. I'm sorry you were hurt, but it was _not_ your fault.

I wasn't kidding when I said you were the last person I _ever_ expected to see at the Alpine. But to say I would've been happier if you _hadn't_ shown up, I'd be lyin'.

Though if I coulda kept you away from Jamie Brennan God knows I would've. If I could go back to that cabin with Brennan I would, just to make him pay for scaring you. And believe me, you _weren't_ some faceless, nameless cop. He wouldn't tell me if you were ok. Until I saw you standing outside in your uniform I wasn't even sure you were still alive, I just prayed you were. As much as I _wanted_ to take you in my arms so you could see for yourself I was ok, I couldn't. Because I _wasn't_ ok and as good as it would've felt to hold you, I couldn't do that to you.

I thought we were passed the suspensions? I know why you did it, I didn't like it at the time, but it's over with, done. And you did what you had to do for _you_. If leaving meant you came back to me, I wouldn't change anything … well, except where I accused you of putting the shield before us. I shouldn't've done _that_.

Me? Take Claire to lunch? Have we met? I ran the check because I'm a cop and I wasn't gonna let her hurt you again.

I think you need to dump your 'break up buddy'.

I can honestly say if I have anything to say about it, yesterday was the first _and_ last time you're going to be holding a bomb. And considering how fond I am of your ass, McNally, you'll _never_ hear me complaining about having to save it.

I'm sorry about my sister. Yeah, I want you to meet her but that _wasn't_ quite the introduction I had in mind. I'll make proper introductions, I promise. And if she was a bit of a bitch, I'm sorry. She's not. We're just kinda protective of each other.

I'm sorry about that night at the Penny. I didn't _mean_ to hurt you. But the idea of _you_ going through what Traci went through … or God forbid anything ever happened to you …"

Sitting with her back against Sam's chest, Andy had no idea there were tears in his eyes by the time he was done.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Now what? Where do we go from here?"

"Where do you _want_ to go?"

"If it's all the same time you, I'd like to forget that the last six weeks even happened and go back to being happy."

"But we can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm _not_ gonna take back telling you that I love you." Sam kissed her temple.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam stood up with Andy in his arms, setting her on her feet he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Andy couldn't believe she was back in his arms and it _wasn't_ a dream.

Speaking of dreams …

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about last night."

He could feel the change in her body and knew something was wrong, so took as light an approach as he could hoping to calm her.

"Which part? Not listening to me or scaring _years_ off my life with your nightmares?"

Burying her face in his chest, "the nightmares," was her muffled response.

Kissing her temple, Sam hugged her tighter and said, "I _knew_ you'd never apologize for not listenin' to me," with a chuckle.

Andy looked up at him. "You _cannot_ say I don't listen to you! I listen to you for 10 hours a day!"

Sam laughed. "You did _not_ just say you listen to me with a straight face!"

Andy smiled at him.

"You're lucky I adore you or I'd take offense to being lied to."

Grabbing their cups, Sam wrapped his arm around her waist heading for the kitchen and more coffee. Once in the kitchen, Sam gestured to a seat at the island and ordered, "Sit."

Andy knew he was doing it because she said she listened to him. Laughing she sat as he fixed their coffees.

Sam was about to ask if she was hungry when the phone rang. Checking the caller I.D, Sam laughed, Andy looked at him.

He nodded to the phone and said, "It's Sarah."

"Gonna answer it?"

"You up to formally meeting my sister?"

Taking Sam's hand, Andy smiled and said, "Absolutely." Sam answered the phone, "Hey, Sis."

"You're still callin' me your sister, that's a good sign."

Sam winked at Andy before he asked, "Comin' by for breakfast?"

"Am I welcome at the house?"

"Always."

"I wasn't last night," Sarah said pointedly.

Sam let her comment slide. "How long before you get here?"

Sam and Andy looked at each other as the doorbell chimed. Still on the phone, Sam walked to answer the door knowing he'd find Sarah on the other side.

Sitting alone in the kitchen, Andy _wasn't_ as ready to meet Sarah as she'd been with Sam there with her. She wondered if the 'fake it til you make it' attitude they'd had as rookies worked in these situations.

Sam ended the call as he opened the door. Smiling, he kissed his sister's cheek before stepping out and closing the door.

"Not gonna let me in, huh?"

"We'll go in, in a minute. But we need to talk first."

Sarah sighed, she was afraid of that. Hoping to cut the lecture she _knew_ was coming off at the pass, Sarah was quick to say, "I'm sorry," as she sat on the top step.

Sitting next to his sister, Sam tried not to let his anger and frustration from the night before cross over into the here and now.

"What're you doin' here anyway?"

"It's nice to see you too, little brother."

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know you were comin' into the city."

"They're called surprises for a reason, Sammy."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Listen, I'm sorry about last night, ok? And I'll apologize to Andy if you ever let me speak to her. How is she by the way? Have you spoke to her today?"

Sam smiled, she could be nosey even when she was apologetic. "You could say that."

"Could?"

"Sis, she's here. I brought her home last night."

"Uh, if you'd rather …"

"That's why I came out here. To talk before you meet her."

"You mean apologize for being a bitch?"

"I already did _that_," Sam laughed.

Hey!"

"Sorry, but you were."

"Yeah, I know. And I _am_ sorry. I've wanted to come up since you called a few weeks ago but this was the first I could get away."

"Yeah, well, a few weeks ago I really fucked up, Sis."

"Anything I can do?"

"I think you did enough last night, thank you."

Sarah smacked his shoulder. Silently grateful he wasn't _still_ pissed.

"Come on in and I'll actually _introduce_ you, since I heard you forgot your manners last night while you were layin' into her." Sam stood and offered his sister his hand to help her up.

Sam opened the door allowing Sarah in ahead of him. Closing the door, he led her into the kitchen.

"Coffee?"

"That'd be great."

Grabbing a cup out of the cupboard Sam poured her coffee before reaching for his own now slightly cold cup and warming it up before sitting next to Andy and motioning for Sarah to have a seat.

Rather than joining them at the island Sarah jumped up on the counter, a move that was quickly greeted with, "Get your ass _off_ my counter!"

Sarah laughed as she jumped back off and took the chair across from her brother.

"Some things never change, do they Sammy?"

Shaking his head, Sam replied, "If you're referring to you being a pain in the ass, then the answer is 'No'."

The Swarek siblings exchanged smiles and Andy could tell this was a running joke between them.

Sam looked over at Andy, she was being uncharacteristically quiet.

"You ok?" He paused then in his T.O. tone added, "And do _not_ say 'fine', McNally!"

Andy laughed and squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I'm ok. Just tired."

Sarah watched the exchange between the couple in front of her. It was the first time she'd gotten to _see_ them, to _watch_ them together. There was no denying it, Andrea McNally _had_ changed her brother - and for that she could be nothing but eternally grateful.

Looking at Andy, Sam almost forgot his sister was sitting there. Clearing his throat he looked from the woman next to him to the one across from him and said," Woulda done this last night, but … Sarah, I'd like you to meet Andy McNally. Andy, I'd like you to meet my sister, Sarah."

"I appreciate you _not_ mentioning that I'm older, Sammy." Sarah chuckled before addressing Andy. "I've been lookin' forward to this for a _long_ time. It's nice to meet you, Andy. It really is … and I'm sorry for being a bitch last night."

Andy smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you too, Sarah."

The 'finally' didn't escape Sam's notice and he wondered what he'd gotten himself into. He loved them both, knew they'd love each other. He was pretty sure once they got together he'd never get them apart. Which was kinda scary. He didn't want to lose his girlfriend to his _sister!_

Seeing the two of them smile at each other, each happy to meet the 'other woman' in his life, Sam joked, "Should I leave the two of you alone?" before thinking better of it and saying, "Forget it!" before either woman could respond. "There is _no_ way I'm letting my sister and my girlfriend compare notes!"

Both women burst out laughing.

Checking their cups, Sam got up and headed for the coffee pot. "Ok, what do you two want for breakfast before you," He looked at Andy, "go lay down?"

Andy scowled at him. "I am _not_ goin' to lay down!"

Sarah was grateful for the cup Sam handed her, she didn't think Andy would appreciate the smile it was concealing.

Turning to her brother, Sarah didn't have to hide her smile as she said, "Why don't I cook?"

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. I don't get to cook for you much anymore. Give you a chance to …" Sarah gestured toward Andy.

Sam kissed his sister's cheek in thanks before preparing himself to do battle - yet again! - with one _very_ stubborn Andrea McNally. He knew he was just as stubborn, more than once, his loving sister had made comparisons between him and a mule going backwards!

"Let's go."

Andy looked at Sam. "Go where?" she asked suspiciously.

Sam knew that tone. When she'd been a rookie and questioned everything it drove him crazy … ok, so she drove him crazy in general, but he wasn't about to play '20 Questions' when she was exhausted.

"This is not up for debate or discussion. _Let's go!_"

Sarah looked at Sam, a little surprised by his tone. "You talk to your _girlfriend_ like that?!"

Andy laughed at Sarah's reaction. "It's ok, Sarah. It's his T.O. voice and after 3 years I'm used to it."

"Quit stallin', McNally. Give us 45 minutes, Sis?"

"Sure."

The second he heard Sarah's confirmation Sam had Andy by the hand and was dragging her out of the kitchen. She dug her heels in as soon as she saw the stairs. "No."

"I told you this wasn't up for debate." He softened his voice before he finished, "You did _not_ sleep much last night."

"Neither did you," she pointed out.

"Don't worry about me."

"That's a two-way street, Swarek," she said leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Get used to it, McNally, it's gonna happen for the next forty or so years."

"I'll make you a deal …"

"No."

"Sam, you haven't even _heard_ it yet."

"You are _not_ waiting til my sister leaves. You can barely hold your cute little head up."

"I'll lay down on the couch … if you stay with me."

"You're going to bed for half an hour and you've got a better chance of seeing _Ice Capades_ in hell than you do of goin' to sleep without me for the foreseeable future."

It was as much the look on his face more than his words that told Andy he was worried about her. For all his tough guy image, her nightmares last night affected Sam too. Because _she_ knew how it felt when she worried about _him_, she gave in.

"Ok, ok, fine. Thirty minutes."

"Thank you."

With his hand on her back, Sam gave her a gentle shove in the direction of the stairs. He kept his hand there as they made their way upstairs.

Once in the bedroom, they laid on top of the bedding with Andy's head on his chest and Sam's arms around her. With Sam rubbing her back, Andy was asleep within minutes.

The gentle knock on the bedroom door woke Sam. He turned to see Sarah standing there and waved her in.

"Listen, I figured we'd skip breakfast and I'd make brunch when you guys get up," she whispered careful not to wake Andy.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me, get some rest. I love you."

"Love you too, " Sam whispered as he closed his eyes again only for them to fly open at the sound of Andy screaming his name. _Shit!_

Kissing her temple he made sure he had a tight hold on her before he started to speak.

"Come on, McNally, wake up."

"No, Sam, you _have_ to go. You _have_ to save yourself … Do it for _me, please_?!"

Sam's breath caught in his chest. These were worse than last night. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. He _had_ to wake her up _now!_

"Andy, no. I'm _not_ leaving you, not now, not ever. I'm fine. _You're_ going to be fine. But baby, you gotta wake up. You gotta wake up for me."

When she buried her face in his chest and started crying, Sam didn't know if she was still in the grips on the nightmare until he heard her tear-stained voice whisper his name.

Rubbing her back, Sam whispered, "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

Considering _she_ was the one having the nightmares he would've laughed if the question hadn't been asked out of the fear that he wasn't, that somehow something _had_ happened to him in her sleep.

"Other than bein' worried about you, yeah baby, I'm fine."

They laid there for a few minutes with Sam rubbing her back trying to get her to relax before Sarah knocked on the door again.

"Is she ok?" Sarah asked, concern obvious in her voice.

"She will be."

"Listen, if you're not up for it, we don't have to worry about brunch."

Andy began to stir. "No, Sarah, please …"

"She's right, Sis. Go ahead and make it. We'll be down in a few minutes."

"Ok."

The moment she was gone Sam kissed Andy's head and wrapped her arms around him.

"My turn. Are you ok?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was fine?" she tried to laugh but it came out a sob. Sam's arms tightened.

"This is _not_ a 'fake it til we make it' situation, McNally."

"I know," came the quiet reply. "Like you told Sarah, I will be. I may not be ok today or even tomorrow, but as long as you're here, I will be."

Sam sighed. "I'll _always_ be here. You had your chance to get rid of me. You're not gettin' another one."

"Promise?"

"With all my heart." And he sealed it with a kiss.

Sam rolled away from her and got off the bed before helping her up. Once on her feet, Andy walked straight into Sam's arms.

The fear she felt was still humming in her veins. She didn't really remember the details, just the fear - and _that_ was _more_ than enough for her.

Sam could physically _feel_ the fear she felt. Maybe he'd have a chat with Frank about makin' her see the Dept. shrink to get her get a grip on them. Of course if she _did_ go, he had _every_ intention of bein' right there holding her hand!

When they finally got back to the kitchen Sarah had a mini feast put out. Sam silently wondered where she'd gotten everything or if she'd made a grocery run while they'd been asleep, if she _had_ he was giving her cash before she left.

Speaking of when she left …

"Hey Sis, don't take this the wrong way, but how long are you stayin' in the city?"

"Sick of me already?"

"Actually, that's _why_ I asked. I was hopin' you were gonna make a weekend out of it. I may live to regret this, but it'll give the two of you a chance to get to know each other … But _no_ comparing notes!"

Both Andy and Sarah laughed. It did Sam's heart good to hear her laugh again after the nightmare.

Sam fixed their coffees and handed Andy hers before putting his arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him.

"Ok, hold it right there. You know how she takes her coffee?"

Sam laughed. "She's my partner. Of course I know how she takes her coffee, just like she can fix mine. And if we _have_ to we can drink each others. We also know the combinations to each other's locker at the station. Do not, I repeat, do _not_ ask for an itemized list of what we know about each other, your visit isn't that long," he finished with a laugh.

Looking at Andy, he gestured towards a chair and gently ordered, "Sit."

"Sam, I'm not an invalid, I can fix my own plate."

"Save it, you're gonna eat and if I let you fix your own you won't. So sit your cute little self down and remember what you said earlier."

"Huh?"

"You said you listen to me …"

Andy scowled at him. "Damn! I _knew_ that would come back to bite me in the ass … I just didn't think it would happen the same day I said it!"

Sam laughed.

"Besides you haven't eat since sometime yesterday …"

"Fi …"

"Don't say it!"

Sarah couldn't help herself, she laughed at them. Causing both sets of eyes to look at her in question.

"Sorry, but you two are just too damn cute!"

"And _what_ do you find so cute, Sis?" Sam asked a little irritated.

"The fact that you've _both_ met your match in each other. You'd take a bullet for each other without thinking twice for God's sake, but your pride won't let you be vulnerable around the _one_ person you can't live without! On behalf of _everyone_ that loves you both, _get over yourselves_ and just be happy and in love!"


	6. Chapter 6

Both Sam _and_ Andy opened their mouths to say something then snapped them closed, having _no_ idea how to respond.

The sudden silence after Sarah's little "observation" was broken when Sam's phone rang. Sam checked his caller I.D and threw the phone to Andy.

"Might as well answer it since it's about you."

He chuckled at Sarah's confused expression.

Andy caught the phone and laughed when she saw Oliver's name on the caller I.D.

"Hi Oliver."

"McNally?"

"Yeah."

"I thought I'd call Sammy and check up on you."

"Yeah, that's why he told me to answer the phone. So you could hear for yourself I'm ok."

"Are you?"

Andy couldn't help herself, she laughed at the countless questions Oliver was asking with one simple one. "I will be."

"Sam?"

"Ask him yourself, hang on," and Andy passed the phone to Sam as he set a plate in front of her.

"What's up, brother?"

"Can you talk?"

"No."

"You wanna grabs drinks at the Penny?"

Hold on," Sam put his hand over the phone. "Oliver wants me to meet him at the Penny later …"

Andy didn't hesitate, "Go.

"I'd take you with me if I thought you were up for it …"

"Not tonight. You go, I'll be fine here."

"You sure?"

"Sam, go."

When Sam would've argued, Sarah piped up, "You go have a guys night out, Andy and I'll have a girls night here at home."

"Are you _trying_ to get me to stay home?!"

Sarah laughed.

Andy leaned up and kissed him, she knew what he was thinking.

"I'll be fine for a couple of hours, go, please?"

Sam sighed as he put his arm around her, kissing her forehead, "Ok, but I won't be gone long," he put the phone back to his ear, "Hey man, I'll meet you there at the end of your shift."

"Bringin' McNally?"

"No, Sarah's here."

"Ok, see ya in a few hours."

Sam disconnected the call and tossed his phone on the counter and fixed himself something to eat.

After they were finished Sarah offered to clean up.

Sam could tell Andy was exhausted but he forced himself _not_ to make her lay down, he'd never meet Ollie if she had another nightmare before he left.

Forty-five minutes before Ollie's shift ended, Sam hopped in the shower and started to get ready to go. But the closer it got to the end of shift the more Sam wanted to call and cancel. He was pretty sure that was why Andy wouldn't let him have his phone.

Sam said goodbye to his sister before Andy walked him out to the truck. Sam leaned against the truck and pulled Andy into his arms.

You sure about this?"

"Sam, stop worrying."

"_Not_ gonna happen."

"Sam, nothing's gonna happen."

"You tryin' to get rid of me?"

"You know I'm not, but I hate the idea of you ignoring or avoiding Oliver because of me."

"I am _not_ ignoring _or_ avoiding Ollie."

"You know the sooner you go, the sooner you're gonna come back right?"

"I don't _want_ to leave you."

"I know, but you're not, you're going to have a drink with Oliver to relax for a couple hours. Sam, you need this after last night and this morning and you know it."

Sam chuckled, "Ok, ok. I'll go but I'm only going because of you."

"Just promise you'll be careful."

"One drink, that's it, promise."

Andy kissed him before stepping away so he could climb behind the wheel. Sam rolled down the window after starting the engine. "If you need me …"

"I'll _always_ need you, Swarek, now get outta here!"

Sam winked at her as he threw the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway. He waited til the door closed behind her before heading in the direction of the Penny.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam was gone maybe ten minutes before Andy's cell chimed with a text message.

She actually laughed as she read it: _I'm here. Are you ok?_

Sam laughed when he read her reply: _No. I miss you … of course I'm ok, I'm bein' babysat by YOUR sister! Have fun. Love you._

He got off _Love you too_ before he felt Ollie's hand on his shoulder as he joined him at the bar. "Hey brother."

Back at the house, Sarah proved she was every bit Sam's sister when she ordered Andy into the shower while she popped the cork on a bottle of wine.

Andy returned to the living room in her pajama pants and one of Sam's t-shirts.

Sarah offered her a glass as she sank into the couch and pulled her feet up under her.

"Feel better?"

"A little. Thanks."

"You hungry? I can fix us something or we can order in."

"Pizza?"

Sarah laughed, "Ok."

Back at the Penny, beers were ordered before Oliver looked at Sam and asked, "What happened?"

"When?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Sammy."

"Considering the events of the last twenty-four hours, you're gonna have to be _a little_ more specific, brother. I mean, you wanna know about me standin' there watchin' the woman I love hold a live grenade? Or about at the station when she told me she didn't care anymore? Or about my sister showing up at the station last night and chewin' _my_ ass out before lightin' into McNally? Or do you wanna know about her nightmares that scare the livin' hell outta me because she's not seeing what _happened_ but what she was afraid _would_ happen when she saw me yesterday?"

"Ok, so my brother's given me the cliff notes version of your relationship, but knowing my brother, there's more to the story, so why don't you give me _your_ version?"

"There's not much to tell."

"Bullshit. Sorry, but I'm _not_ buyin' that."

Andy laughed.

"We met my first day on the job, not sure why but he was assigned to be my T.O. even though he made it _very_ clear he wasn't happy with me _or_ how we met. There were sparks from the beginning but since he was my T.O … I got involved with a detective - Luke Callaghan. _Big_ mistake on my part. He cheated on me with his ex while we were engaged. We got engaged because I _found_ the ring. I think it was meant for _her_ though. Sam was there for me through the whole mess. Then he went undercover and I was on a re-training assignment and … well, then we got suspended for making our relationship personal. We got together after our suspensions and things were great until Jerry … until Jerry's death when he dumped me in the rain. Then yesterday while I was holding a live grenade he told me he loves me. Oh, my dad loves him; my mom, who I hadn't seen in fourteen years until recently, not so much. Anything _else_ you wanna know?"

"Brother, did you just say you loved her?"

"Oh don't act like you didn't know, Ollie!"

"Hey man, I've known, we've _all_ known for awhile, we've just been waiting for you to get the memo."

"Or maybe you wanna hear how she blames herself for what went down with Brennan even though that's all on Boyd?"

"Brother, that was _months_ ago!"

"Yeah, well, I just heard about it this morning."

Oliver wiped a hand over his face, he hadn't expected _that_. "Oh man."

"So your question? It's a little generic, brother."

Sarah reached for the bottle, Andy shook her head in refusal. As exhausted as she still was emotionally, too much alcohol and she'd probably fall asleep and without Sam there, _that_ just _wasn't_ happening!

Pulling her knees up to her chest, Andy wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on them as she looked at Sarah and said, "I know what he's like now, what was he like growing up?"

Sarah couldn't help but laugh as she heard Sam's voice saying _no comparing notes!_

"Until he was nine, he was your typical brother - then he was forced to grow up too fast …"

"Your attack," Andy said quietly.

Sarah smiled sadly. "He told you?"

"Not much. Just that you were attacked and that he'd bought a joke book to try and make you smile again."

"Yeah, he was pretty amazing - don't tell him I said that! - I think he blamed himself for not being able to protect me."

"That's why he became a cop."

"Wow. You _do_ know my brother."

Andy smiled. "A little."

"Don't kill me for asking this, brother, but are you ok?"

Sam knew Ollie was worried about them, about _him_, so he answered the question honestly. "No. I'm scared I'm gonna wake up and she'll be gone."

"Where'd she stay last night?"

"After Sarah lit into her for I don't know how long I basically kicked her outta the station and took Andy back to my place. There was _no_ way I was lettin' her stay by herself after yesterday. Damn good thing I didn't. She fell asleep on the couch after we got home - I can't even say she woke up screaming, because I didn't let the nightmare go any longer than it took to wake her up. Same thing happened after we got in bed."

"Sammy, those are details I _don't_ need!"

Sam slapped him. "Get your mind outta the gutter, brother."

Oliver laughed.

"Seriously man, _that_ thought has not crossed my mind."

"Lots of time for that, brother, after things return to normal."

"What the hell _is_ normal for us, man?"

Oliver chuckled. "It's _your_ relationship, you tell me."

"She asked me this morning if we could forget the last six weeks even happened and go back to the way things were."

"What'd you say, man?"

"No."

"What?! Why the hell would you do _that_?!"

"Because I told her I wouldn't take back telling her I love her."

Oliver visibly relaxed. "Brother, don't be scarin' me like that."

Sam smirked at Ollie's reaction.

"So now what?"

"I don't let her outta my sight for the foreseeable future. Hell, if she'd've let me, I woulda called and cancelled but she wouldn't let me have my phone …"

"She's a smart girl," Oliver chuckled with pride.

"As for the nightmares, I think I'm gonna talk to Frank, see what he thinks about her seein' the Dept. shrink to get a handle on them, because honest to God, Ollie, I don't know how many more I can watch her go through."

"I know, brother, I know."

Sam checked his watch. He'd been gone longer than he'd planned.

Oliver put his hand on his shoulder. "Call her."

Sam looked at his friend and smiled as he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial "3."

Andy smiled as she answered the phone, "Hi."

"Hi. You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Did you eat?"

"Sam …"

"Answer the question, McNally."

Andy sighed. "Yes, we ordered pizza."

"Good girl."

"You havin' fun?"

"No, you're not here."

"Sam …"

"Listen, I won't be much longer, ok? I just wanted to check in."

"Ok. Sarah and I might go out …"

"Don't even _think_ about it, McNally!"

Andy laughed and Sam knew she'd done it to get a reaction out of him. "You'll pay for that."

"Yeah, yeah. Promises, promises."

Sam shook his head.

Oliver motioned for the phone.

"McNally, you move from that couch and I am _not_ taking responsibility for your boyfriend here. Got it?"

Andy laughed. "I'll be here when he gets home, Oliver, I promise."

"Good. I'll send him home soon," and he hung up.

As Andy hung up it occurred to her that _everybody_ was referring to Sam's house as her _home_ today … and she wasn't even sure where their relationship was!

"Ok, brother, I promised the girlfriend you'd be home soon. There anything else you wanna tell me before we get outta here?"

"No, man, but thanks for listening."

"Anytime brother, that's what I'm here for."

Sam knocked back the last of his drink as he got to his feet.

Oliver stopped him as he reached for his wallet. "I got it, brother. Go home."

"Thanks." And with that Sam headed for the door.

Back at the house, Sarah finished off her glass of wine and got to her feet. "I'm gonna hit the shower before that brother of mine gets back … you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll just put this stuff in the kitchen."

"Ok," and Sarah headed for the spare bedroom and her bags.

Sam killed the engine of the truck and sat there staring at the house. He'd never admit it but he was glad he'd met Ollie at the Penny. It felt good to give voice to the fear that had been eating at him since he'd seen her standing there holding that damn grenade. God knows he'd never tell _her_ - some things she was better off _not_ knowing, especially if it was something she'd blame herself for. God knows he should be _used_ to it by now, he'd been worrying about her since Boyko made him her T.O three years ago. And it was showcased the day of re-training that his concern didn't stop at end of shift when he and Callaghan had gone at it! The S.O.B. never deserved her, and every time he thought about how he'd hurt her over and over Sam _still_ wanted to beat the damn fool senseless! Not that Sam thought he had much sense to begin with! Sam slammed the door on _those_ thoughts as he got out. Their bags, forgotten the night before, caught his attention and he grabbed them before heading for the door.

Opening the door, Sam expected to hear the sound of their voices, instead he was greeted with silence. _What the …? Where were they?_ Then the sound of the shower registered. Well, he knew where _one_ of them was, all he had to do now, was find the other one.

He threw his keys on the table before walking into the kitchen. She was standing at the sink washing dishes. He walked up behind her and kissed her on the cheek as he wrapped his arms around her. He'd thought for a second that he'd startled her, til she leaned back against him and said, "Hi."

"Hi yourself."

"Hungry?"

"Do you _really_ want me to answer that with my sister here?" he asked as he kissed the back of her neck.

Andy slapped at the hands that were around her waist as she said, "For pizza, Sam, for pizza."

Sam laughed as he turned her in his arms so he could kiss her.

Resting his forehead against hers, Sam dared to ask, "Do I wanna know what you talked about?"

"You."

"I said no comparing notes!"

"Babe, I don't think your sister _has_ the same notes I do!" Andy said with a smug laugh as she rubbed her hands up and down his back.

"_Now_ who's being bad?" Sam laughed.

And that's how Sarah found them a few minutes later. "Get a room, you two."

Sam couldn't help his response, "We _have_ one."

"So do I, which is where you can find me if ya need me."

"Sarah …"

"Sis, it's ok."

Sarah walked over to them and kissed her brother on the cheek. "You're right, it is. I'll see you both in the a.m."

When she was gone, Sam turned back to Andy, brushing her hair back he studied her face, looking for signs of something wrong.

"Sam, _stop_ worrying."

"I think I told ya once today, that's _not_ gonna happen."

Andy reached behind her and took one of his hands in hers. "What did you and Oliver talk about? And _please_ don't say me."

"If I say anything else, baby, I'd be lyin'. He's worried about you. So am I."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

"Smartass."

Andy laughed and pushed him in the direction of the island and the pizza box. "Considering the amount of energy you use worryin' about me, you need to eat. You want a beer?"

"Sure. You gonna join me?"

Andy grabbed two beer from the fridge. She set them on the island and was about to sit on the stool beside him when Sam pulled her into his lap.

Andy rested her head on his shoulder.

"Tired?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Andy."

To avoid answering the question she reached for her beer and took a long drink.

Sam waited until she was ready to answer him honestly.

"Tired? No. Exhausted? Yes, and terrified to close my eyes but I don't know why."

Sam rubbed her back to calm her, "I know, baby, I know."

"Does that mean you're not …"

"You're gonna have to sleep sometime, Andy."

She was so quiet he almost didn't hear her when she said, "I know."

Sam kissed her head, wishing there was some way, any way, he could protect her from the nightmares that plagued her.

He could feel her fighting to stay awake and smiled sadly, she couldn't fight it forever.

"You ready for bed? He asked quietly.

She stood up so Sam could get up and replied, "No."

Sam chuckled. "Come on, let's go." He took her hand and basically pulled her out of the kitchen.

"I'll carry you if I have to, Andy," he said when she stopped in the living room.

"You wouldn't?"

To answer her question, Sam picked her up. Kissing her head, he asked, "That answer your question?" as he carried her up the stairs.

Kicking the door shut, Sam carried her to the bathroom off their bedroom before setting her on her feet. He nodded to the bathroom door. He leaned against the door listening for her movements. When the door opened Andy allowed Sam to trade places with her. When he closed the door she leaned against it.

"Andy?"

"Hmmm?" was her groggy response.

"Baby, ya gotta get off the door. I'm not gonna open it with you trying _not_ to fall asleep against it."

There was movement on the other side. Opening the door, Sam flipped off the lights and took Andy's hand, leading her to the bed. Pulling back the covers Sam indicated for her to get in ahead of him. He laid down and pulled her into his arms. Andy wrapped her arms around his waist and used his chest for her pillow. The beat of his heart lulled her to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam fell asleep with the weight of her head on his chest and woke up the second it wasn't there anymore and his arms were empty. He was on the verge of panic when he saw the light under the bathroom door. Sam got out of bed and walked to the door. He could hear her crying. _Shit! What the fuck had he slept through?_

He knocked lightly on the door before he opened it. The second she saw him standing in the door Andy was in his arms. Sam closed his arms around her and held her as she cried. When it seemed like her tears were finally running out, Sam lifted her face to look at him.

"You wanna tell me what I missed? Because I _know_ I _didn't_ sleep through you screaming."

Andy shook her head.

"Come on, Andy. Talk to me."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

She didn't want to upset him

"Andy, don't do that. Talk to me."

Andy took a deep breath. "I woke up and you were gone …"

"What?"

"My dream. I woke up from a nightmare and you were gone. And I realized you hadn't made it out …"

"Andy …"

"I couldn't scream, I just …"

"Shhhhh. It's ok, I'm right here."

"I'm sorry."

"Andy, no. It's ok. _I'm_ ok. And I promise you, _we'll_ be ok."

Andy let him lead her back to bed.

He laid down with her in his arms again. There was no maybe about it. He was talking to Frank the first chance he got and whether it pissed her off or not, he _was_ taking her to the Dept. shrink. He would _not_ lose her to nightmares!

Sam woke up the next morning not to the sound of his alarm but to the smell of coffee. Sam turned his head as he heard the door close behind his sister's retreating form. Andy was still anchored to his chest. _Thank God_.

Considering last night he was reluctant to wake her up. The smell of coffee however, was not. She brushed her hair out of her face before leaning up to kiss him. "Morning."

Sam smiled. "Morning."

Andy reached over Sam and grabbed the cup off his nightstand.

"McNally, don't you _dare_ spill that coffee in this bed!"

Andy chuckled as she took a drink before offering it to Sam.

"Do you have to go in today?"

Andy tried, she really did, to hide the fear but Sam picked up on it and tried to tease the fear away.

"You tryin' to get rid of me? Hopin' to get the bed to yourself?"

But last night was still too fresh and instead of a smile, her eyes filled with tears and she turned away. Sam grabbed her, hauling her back against his chest.

"Come here."

"Sam …"

"Yeah?"

"What're we gonna do?"

He wasn't sure he knew what she was talking about.

"I can't handle much more of this."

"What baby?"

"The nightmares. The fear that if I let you outta my sight for too long you won't come back."

The breath caught in Sam's chest at her admission.

"Andy … _why_ didn't you say something last night? My God, I never woulda left you to go to the Penny …"

"I know, and _that's_ why. I don't wanna come between you and Oliver."

"Baby it's not an 'either or' situation. And he'd be the _first_ to tell me to stay, to take care of you, that we could meet up another time."

"But Sam, you shouldn't have to put your life on hold because I can't get a grip!"

"Are you _really_ gonna try and blame yourself for saving a little girl from some deranged lunatic? Because no matter how scared I was when I saw you holding that grenade I couldn't have been prouder. You put it _all_ on the line without thought for your own safety. Do you remember that day you asked me what was holding me back from Guns and Gangs?"

Andy nodded.

"What did I say?"

"You said I was."

"It's the same reason I didn't walk away yesterday when you told me to … because I can't imagine my life without you."

When Andy would've reached for the coffee again Sam put the squash on it being drank in bed for fear of it spilling and having to change the bedding … at least that was his excuse Andy thought.

Sam kissed Andy before grabbing her hand and heading for the bathroom and the shower.

"Sam, you can't be serious about showering together!"

"Why not? We both _need_ a shower and this way you're not letting me out of your sight."

He was so matter of fact. If it had been anyone but Sam she woulda thought they trying to humor or patronize her, but Sam, Sam was doing it to try and ease what was a very real fear for her.

He was drying her hair when he brought up the idea of going into the station to talk to Frank.

"I'll go to keep you company."

"Let's go, then we'll swing by your condo and get you some clothes so you don't _have_ to wear mine."

"Do you hear me complaining?"

Sam laughed.

Downstairs Sam brought Sarah up to speed on their plans for the next few hours.

"Ok, you guys go. While you're gone I'll throw something together for supper."

"Thanks."

Sam could feel the change in Andy as they neared the station. Reaching over, he took her hand in his.

Just holding his hand, Andy felt better.

Hand-in-hand they walked into the station. Frank looked a little surprised to see them walk in, not so surprised when Sam knocked on his door.

"Got a minute, boss?"

"Come on in, Sam."

Sam had made the decision to talk to Frank _with_ Andy present so she couldn't kill him.

With a hand on her back Sam let her in ahead of him before closing the door.

"Something I can do for you?"

No point in dancing around it. "This isn't a social call, Frank."

"Really? I never would've guessed."

Sam looked at Andy before asking, "What's the protocol for holding a bomb?"

Andy gasped.

"You _know_ what protocol is - three mandatory visits. Why? What's going on?"

"Just wondering when Andy's first visit is so I can book it off."

"As opposed to just not showing up?"

"Wait. What? Sam, no."

"Rules are you gotta see the Dept. shrink, McNally."

Andy couldn't _believe_ this. He was actually ambushing her with an appointment to see the Dept. shrink! Like she didn't _already_ feel like a head case?!

She got to her feet. "This is _not_ happening."

She turned to the door only to find Sam blocking it.

Andy's eyes flashed anger. "You can't be serious?"

"If I thought for one minute never lettin' you out of my arms would solve the problem, I wouldn't, but it won't. Between waking up to the sounds of your screams or you crying in the bathroom, you haven't got much sleep the last two nights, which means neither have I."

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. You can drop me off at the condo if it's more convenient for you."

"You are _not_ staying at the condo."

"Then I'll bunk in with Traci."

"You are _not_ stayin' with Nash."

"You got any better ideas?"

"You're stayin' exactly where you've stayed for the last two nights."

"Not if I'm getting in the way or causing a problem."

Sam looked at Frank who took the hint and said, "I'll leave you two to fight this out yourself, just remember, no blood in my office. I'd tell you to thank your partner but knowing you, McNally, _thanking _Swarek isn't what you've got in mind right now."

"No sir." She ground out.

Getting to his feet, Frank addressed Andy "I'm going to see if I can't get you an appointment with Dr. Roemer for later today." Sam stepped away from the door to allow Frank's exit.

"Thank you, Sir."

The moment the door closed behind Frank Andy turned on Sam.

"How _could_ you?"

"Easy."

"Dammit Sam, you couldn't have _talked_ to me about this?"

"Would you have went willingly?"

"Hell no!"

"Exactly."

Sam's voice changed. "This isn't something _I_ can fix, Andy. Believe me, if I could, I would."

Andy was too angry to register the tone, she just heard that Sam thought she needed to be 'fixed'.

"Tell me how you _really_ feel, Sam."

Sam was confused, then it dawned on him - what he'd _said_ and what she _heard_ were two totally _different_ things. Pulling away from the door, Sam put his hands on her shoulders, turning her to look at him and wondered where this conversation had taken a wrong turn.

Andy wouldn't look at him.

"Andy, look at me." She looked at the front of his shirt. He put a finger under her chin.

"Andy …"

"Is that _really_ what you think?" her voice broke.

Taking her into his arms, Sam touched his forehead to hers. "I did _not_ say _you_ needed to be fixed."

"Sounded like it to me."

"Then clean your ears. What I _said_ was I can't fix your nightmares, your fear. I might be able to fix a lot of things, your nightmares ain't one of 'em. Hell, for all I know, I'm making things worse! And you're _not_ goin' alone, so don't even bother suggesting it."

"Sam, no."

There was a knock at the door. Frank.

"I'm assuming you're not here to work, Swarek?"

"No sir, not until she's back in uniform."

"Sam!"

Frank handed a paper to Andy before closing the door again.

Sam was prepared to pick up where they left off. She threw him a curve when she quietly said, "I'm sorry."

Sam rubbed her back. "Andy, you gotta quit apologizing."

"But you just got reprimanded for _not_ being on duty."

"Sucks to be Frank."

"Sam, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"You _didn't_ have to do this."

"Yeah, I did. Between the nightmares and what you told me about being afraid to let me outta your sight … this isn't something _I_ can fix, baby. So you," he kissed her forehead, "are gonna see the shrink and tell her more than _I'm fine_."

"Sam!"

"Like you _weren't_ gonna try that?"

"Fi …"

"Don't even _think_ about sayin' it, McNally!"

"If I fall apart it's gonna be _your_ fault!"

Sam wrapped his arms around her. "You're _not_ gonna fall apart, even if you do, I'll be there to put the pieces back together. Now let's go," looking at the time on the paper, "you've got an appointment you're _not_ gettin' out of."

"Wait a minute, _you_ held that bomb yesterday too … does that mean _you_ have to see the shrink too?"

"No, I was holding _your_ hands, not the bomb. Nice try, though."

"Dammit!"

Sam laughed as he ushered her out of the office and out of the station.


	9. Chapter 9

She may have relented at the station but as Sam pulled into the parking space and killed the truck's engine Andy's desire to be anywhere _but_ there was almost strong enough to choke her.

Sam held her hand as they entered the building and walked to the doctor's office. He shouldn't've been surprised when she wasn't standing beside him at the closed door but firmly grounded a few steps behind him. He gave a gentle tug on her hand and she shook her head.

"Sam, I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No, I _can't_ …"

Sam pulled her to him. "Come on, McNally, let's just get it over with. Then I'll take you home."

"Easy for _you_ to say, you're not the one going in there."

Sam didn't comment, he simply opened the door and put his hand on her back gently pushing her before following her inside.

"Officer Swarek, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Sam felt Andy's grip on his hand tighten. He squeezed back reassuringly.

"Sorry, Doc."

"Officer Swarek,"

"No." Andy had to smile at Sam using his T.O voice with a doctor.

"Officer Swarek, it's against the rules for anyone but the patient to be in a session."

"Ask me if I give a damn, Doc., you'll find out I don't. So why don't you concentrate on somethin' you can do something about," he inclined his head toward Andy, "and quit wastin' your time on something you can't, because I'm _not_ leaving."

Dr. Roemer gave Sam a look that said she wasn't impressed before turning to Andy.

"Why don't you have a seat, Andy."

Andy looked at Sam who smiled. She never let go of his hand so when she moved, he moved.

"Why don't you tell me what brought you here today?"

Andy pointed to Sam with the hand not holding Sam's and said, "Him."

Dr. Roemer raised her eyebrows in question.

"Andy … tell her."

"Officer Swarek …"

"Save it, Doc."

"What does that mean, you're here because of him?"

"Because he went to our Staff Sergeant and asked the protocol after you've held a bomb."

"You've held a bomb recently?"

"Two days ago. A guy duct taped a live grenade to the hand of a little girl who was OCD. When he wasn't looking I took the tape off her hand and had her give _me_ the grenade so a fellow officer could get her to safety."

"I admire your bravery."

"Thanks, I guess. I was just doing my job."

"Did anything else happen to bring you to my door?"

"Holding a live grenade isn't enough for you?" Andy asked sarcastically.

"Andy …"

Andy sighed. "_Fine_. You wanna know what _else_ happened? After I took a _bomb _outta the hands of a _terrified_ little girl, the guy I love walked in. So instead of wondering how the hell _I_ was gonna get out of there, all I could think was I needed to find some way to get _him_ out safely, because if anything ever happened to _him_ because of _me_, I'd never forgive myself!" Andy's voice broke.

"Next question?" she asked obstinately.

Sam _tried_ to get her to calm down by squeezing her hand. She looked at him and he _almost_ wished she hadn't - her beautiful brown eyes were filled with unshed tears. He released her hand and ignoring their surroundings, took her in his arms.

When Dr. Roemer opened her mouth to speak Sam gave her a look _daring_ her to say something - she chose instead to make a note on the paper in her lap.

The moment Sam's arms went around her, to her utter embarrassment, Andy burst into tears. Sam rubbed her back trying to reassure her.

When the tears finally stopped she took a deep breath and turned to face the doctor, careful not to move out of Sam's embrace. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I know it's hard Andy, but I _need_ to know why you're here, how I can help." Dr. Roemer said gently. She didn't want to upset the young woman in front of her more than necessary and she had a feeling that calling this 'hard' had been an understatement.

When she didn't say anything Sam knew she was hoping they were done. But he wasn't letting her off that easy.

"Baby, you _gotta_ tell her …"

"Sam, I can't …"

"Either _you_ tell her or I will."

"Officer Swarek …"

Sam was losing his patience. So far the _only_ thing he could see that she'd accomplished was upsetting Andy to the point of tears! Taking what he _hoped_ was a calming breath, Sam tried again.

"Do something for me?"

"Anything, you _know_ that."

"Tell her. I'm not goin' anywhere and neither are you until we know how to stop the nightmares."

Despite her growing irritation at the man's refusal to butt out he got her attention when he asked Andy to tell her about the nightmares.

"Andy?" Dr. Roemer prompted gently.

"Yeah?"

"Is that true? Are you having nightmares?"

Sam fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"No, he said it for the sake of sayin' something!" Andy snapped.

"I can't hear it from Officer Swarek, Andy. It's _your_ session. I have to hear it from you." Dr. Roemer said gently.

"Yes, dammit! _Every_ time I close my eyes I see _Officer Swarek_ walking into that damn room and not getting out! And thanks to the nightmares I'm scared to let him out of my sight in case he _doesn't_ come back! There. Happy?!"

Gasoline and a match. That was the _only_ way Sam could think to describe Andy's reaction to the Dept.'s shrink. If he wasn't desperate to get her help with the nightmares he would've apologized for wasting her time and gotten Andy the hell out of there. But whether he was questioning her ability as a doctor or not, they were stuck with her.

Ignoring her, he _tried_ to get Andy to calm down. No easy task when she was _this_ pissed. He just hoped when they left she wasn't pissed at _him_!

"Hey baby, look at me."

Andy turned away from the doctor back to Sam. "Yeah?"

"You ok? And do _not_ say 'fine' …"

"No, but I will be."

Sam smiled before turning his attention to the doctor. "Guess you heard it from _her_, didn't you? Satisfied? Now, are you gonna help her or do I report you for incompetent?

She hadn't really been prepared for the outburst. Looking at her, she would've thought Officer McNally a very mild mannered, even docile woman. Since she is anything but, she didn't even want to imagine the dreams that plagued her, but she _would_ do what she could to help her - if she let her, and Officer Swarek, she'd _like_ to tell _him_ off! "And how would you like me to do _that_, Officer Swarek? Wave my magic wand? Maybe click my heels together?"

"Lady, you do _not_ want to mess with me," Sam growled.

"I can give her a prescription …"

"No."

"Andy, they're just mild sedatives."

"Did you miss the part where I said 'no'? I _won't_ start poppin' pills."

"You heard her, Doc., the lady said no pills."

"Do you drink?"

"What's it to you?"

"Relax, Andy, I can't suggest having a drink if you don't."

"No. I won't let nightmares or fear chase me to the bottom of a bottle."

Sam was proud of her for not even considering _that_ as an option.

"Pills and alcohol, _love_ your solutions to people's problems," Sam said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry you don't approve, Officer, but need I remind you that _you_ came to me for help? _Or_ that you weren't supposed to be _in_ here?"

Sam's only response was to get to his feet and as he held out his hand to Andy, said, "We're done."

As far as Andy was concerned _that_ was an understatement!

Nothing was said until after they were in the truck when Sam turned to face her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Puttin' you through _that_."

"Sam, it's not _your_ fault she can't do her job."

"No, but I shouldn't have forced the issue either. All she accomplished was upsetting you and that _wasn't_ my intention."

"I know that."

"I _can_ promise that was your first and last visit though." He started to laugh.

"What?"

"Considering how much you enjoyed it after you dumped Callaghan's sorry ass, maybe I should take you back to the mat."

"Sam, I am _not_ hitting you again!"

"Why not? It worked last time."

"Last time I was pissed, not scared."

Sam was just about to start the truck when Andy's gentle 'Thank you,' stopped him.

"For what?

"Worrying about me. I know I don't say it enough."

"You don't have to _thank_ me. It's my job - on the clock and off. If I asked if you were ok, would you tell me?"

She was silent for a minute, thinking.

"As crazy as it sounds, I think it helped."

"How's that?"

"It was easy to yell at her. She doesn't _know_ me, I don't give a damn about _her_."

"I'm still not taking you back."

Andy laughed. "No. I think once was more than enough, thank you."

"What d'ya say we get outta here?"

"Please. Sam?

"Yeah?"

"Were you serious?"

"About?"

"Reporting her."

"Yeah, I was. I still might. If her only coping mechanisms are pills and alcohol she's not much of a doctor."

"What're we gonna do?"

"About?"

"That was only my first session, I'm supposed to have two more."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"What're you gonna do?"

"Let me worry about that."

Andy grabbed Sam's hand. "Talk to me, Sam. What're you gonna do?"

"Think I'll have a little chat with Frank about the joke the Dept. is employing as its shrink. Make sure he knows how she treats her patients support system and what she uses for coping mechanisms."

"What're we waitin' for? Let's go."

Sam laughed as he brought her hand up and kissed it.

"Just so you're ready, we _are_ hittin' the mat while we're at the station."

"Sam …"

"I was there, McNally, I _know_ how much you enjoyed it."

"Of _course_ I enjoyed it … I was with _you_."

"Newsflash, Andy, you're _still_ with me. You're always _going_ to be with me."

That sounded so … permanent.

Even with Luke's ring on her finger, it hadn't _felt_ permanent. Maybe because with Luke she never knew where she stood. She knew she _didn't_ rank as important as the job. She never had to wonder with Sam. He may not've ever said it - until recently - but he _showed_ it. Like he once told her, he was there when it mattered. Of course _that_ was before that night at the Penny.

She said she wanted to forget the past six weeks, but she'd never forget that feeling. Not that she could describe _what_ that feeling _was_. But it was what made her so grateful for where they were now, not that she really knew where _that_ was. But it was better than being without him.

"Andy?"

Hmmm? What?"

"Baby, where'd you go?"

"Just thinkin'."

"Why does that scare me?"

"Funny."

"Seriously, what about?"

You."

"Me? What about me?"

"Don't get mad, ok?"

"Uh oh."

"I was thinkin' about where I was the last time we went to the mat. A lot's changed."

"How so?"

"No matter how much he _told_ me, Luke never _showed_ me that he loved me, that he was there for me. And you, you showed me in so many ways _without_ ever saying it."

"Ah, but I _did_ say it."

Andy smiled. "I know. But looking back, I realize you _showed_ me every day _without_ saying it."

"Well, in my defense, I couldn't _say_ it while you were wearing another guy's ring. And then I was afraid to say it in case you didn't feel the way I did. Then Jerry … and I _couldn't_ say it because I couldn't put you through what Traci was going through. Then I saw you holding a bomb and realized I _had_ to, because _if_ something happened, I _needed_ you to _know_. The biggest mistake of my life was walking away that night."

There were tears in her eyes when Andy looked at him.

"Ah, hell, I didn't mean to make you cry. I _hate_ when you cry."

"Yeah, well, for the first time today, these are actually happy tears."

"Happy, sad, it still breaks my heart - always has."

Andy wiped her eyes and looking out the windshield couldn't believe they were back at the station. Up until this moment she never would've thought of the truck as a confessional but it worked just as good as the couch yesterday.

Maybe that damn grenade had been a blessing in disguise. They were actually _talking_ to each other.


	10. Chapter 10

It happened again. She'd zoned out on him. But wherever her thoughts had taken her had also taken at least _some_ of the emotions she was battling. He could feel it. "His" McNally was coming back. Slowly, but surely, she was finding her way back from the darkness that was her fear. They'd take it minute-by-minute if they had to - or round-by-round on the mats he thought with a smile as he killed the engine and they got out the truck.

Sam stopped in front of Frank's door and turned to Andy.

"This is as far as you go."

"What? Sam …"

"No, you are not gonna re-count the details of _that_ … not even for Frank."

"Sam …"

"_Not_ up for debate."

"Is this how it's gonna be?"

"Figured you'd be used to it by now, McNally. Now go."

"Ok, ok."

Sam pushed her in the direction of the gym, "Meet ya on the mats in a few," before knocking on Frank's door.

Sam entered their Staff Sergeant's office hoping their conversation wouldn't go straight to hell before it even began.

"Hey Sam, how'd it go?"

"She's _not_ going back, Frank."

"What? Why?"

"Because I _refuse_ to sit there and watch that woman upset her to the point of tears!"

"Wait, how the hell did you even get _in_ there? Y'know what, I don't need to hear that. Just tell me what happened."

Sam re-counted in detail Andy's session."

"Pills? Alcohol? _That_ was her solution?"

"Impressive, ain't it?"

"Not really. Did you _really_ threaten to report her? For incompetence?"

"Yes."

Frank shook his head.

"Listen, Frank, I'm just keeping you in the loop. If any of this comes back it's on me, not the Division."

"Forget it, Sam. The Division has your back. But I gotta ask, no shrink, now what?"

"Me. McNally. The mats. Now."

Frank laughed. "I'm almost tempted to call everybody back in for _that_. We could make some money for one of the funds if we charged admission."

"Forget it, Frank," and he turned toward the door.

"Just do the rest of the Division a favor, Sam?"

Sam stopped with his hand on the door, "What's that?"

"Take care of her."

"Count on it," and he walked out heading in the direction of the gym … and Andy.

Opening the door, Sam called, "Ready McNally?" only to have a set of gloves thrown at him.

"Yeah, you're _not_ lookin' forward to this," he muttered under his breath.

"I heard _that_!"

Sam laughed and pulled the gloves on.

"Let's get this done before Best makes good on his idea to charge admission to watch us."

"Watch us?"

"Yeah."

"Hate to disappoint him, but this _isn't _re-training," and she leaned up to kiss him.

As much as he _wanted_ to, he kept himself from kissing her back. He was _not_ gonna let her distract him. Yeah, right.

A phone ringing brought them apart.

Recognizing the ring as Andy's, Sam only asked, "Where?" as he took off a glove.

Andy turned her back to him and said, "Right front."

Sam reached into her pocket as she undid her glove and growled as he checked the caller I.D. Andy didn't accept the call until just before her voicemail kicked in, not understanding Sam's reaction - until she heard the voice on the other end.

"Andy, this is Dr. Roemer."

"What can I do for you?"

"We need to discuss this morning's session …"

"What's there to talk about?"

"How about how you left my office?"

"With the intention of never going back," Sam said as Andy had put the call on speaker so he could hear.

"Officer Swarek."

"Wish I could say it was nice to talk to you again, Doc., but I can't."

"The feeling's mutual and I didn't call to speak to _you_, this is between me and my patient."

"Then you should call one, because Officer McNally _isn't_ your patient."

Sam put his arms around Andy, pulling her back against him. She handed him her phone allowing him to disconnect it. Stepping away from her, Sam put his glove back on and drove his fist into the nearest wall.

Andy took her other glove off, walking up behind him, she put her arms around him.

"Sam, it's not the wall's fault."

"Sorry, hearing her voice I needed to hit something."

"So you hit the _wall_?"

"Well I wasn't gonna hit _you_."

"Why not?"

"Because as hard as I hit the wall, _that_ would've hurt and I don't care how hard you hit _me_, but I am _not_ going to hit _you_ hard enough to hurt."

"Why? Because I'm a girl?"

"Because you're _my_ girl." Sam clarified.

"Lose the gloves, Swarek, let me see that hand. Frank'll kill me if you hurt yourself."

Sam laughed as he turned around and wrapped his arms around her.

Reaching behind her, Andy undid his gloves and Sam allowed her to pull them off. She dropped them on the floor and grabbed his hands.

"Andy, I'm fine."

"Hey, that's my line!"

Sam laughed gently before kissing her.

"So much for gettin' to take you to the mat, McNally."

"It's ok. I'm sure you'll come up with something else."

"Come on, I wanna talk to Frank about that call before we get outta here."

"Sam, no, let's just go home … please?"

Her voice got his attention. "Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah, just gettin' tired."

"Then let's get you home."


	11. Chapter 11

Sometime during the ride home Andy fell asleep with her head against the window. Undoing her belt, Sam lifted her out the truck and carried her to the house. He rang the bell for Sarah to open the door. He carried Andy to the couch while Sarah closed the door behind them. Sam covered Andy with the blanket Sarah handed him. He kissed her forehead and was about to walk to the kitchen when she grabbed his hand.

"Hey."

"Stay."

When Andy made to sit up, Sam reached under her to pick her back up, sitting down with her in his lap and her head on his chest.

"Go back to sleep." She closed her eyes and did exactly that.

He wasn't surprised when Sarah set a cup of coffee on the end table for him before sitting in a chair.

"How'd it go?"

"Don't get me started, Sis."

"That good, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry. I know you were hoping it would help."

"Yeah, well, it was a total bust."

Andy started to struggle in his lap. _Shit!_ He'd _hoped_ when she was able to fall asleep in the truck that they were over.

"Andy, no, it's ok."

The moment she heard his voice she relaxed. Maybe they _were_ one step closer to being over.

They sat for a while longer, having a 'catch up' chat until Sarah got up to put the finishing touches on supper.

Sam was reluctant to disturb Andy when Sarah called him from the kitchen to tell him it was ready.

"Still out?" Sarah asked coming back into the living room.

"Yeah, and I don't want to wake her."

"Tell you what. I'll fix plates and bring them in here."

"Thanks."

Sarah had just set three plates on the coffee table when Andy started to wake up.

Sam kissed her forehead. "Hey sleeping beauty."

Running her finger through her hair, Andy asked, "How long was I out?"

'About an hour or so."

Andy felt self-conscious being in Sam's lap in front of Sarah and tried to move, Sam however had other ideas and kept his arms around her. When she looked at him in question, he just smiled.

Sarah saw the exchange and asked, "Coffee, Andy?"

"Uh, yeah, thanks."

"Hey Sis?"

Sarah turned back to look at her brother, "Yeah?"

"How you gonna fix it?"

"Damn. Sorry Andy. How do you take it?"

Sam and Andy looked at each other and laughed.

"If you can fix Sam's, that's fine, Sarah, thank you."

Sarah went into the kitchen to get Andy's coffee.

Andy tried again to move off Sam's lap. He wouldn't let her.

"Forget it, McNally. I'm not lettin' you move."

"Sam, your sister …"

"What about her? It's not like we're making out in front of her!"

Andy couldn't believe he'd said that!

"Sam!"

She buried her burning face in his chest as Sarah came back with her coffee.

"Everything ok?"

Sam rubbed Andy's back as he smiled at his sister and replied, "Yeah. "

"O … k. Andy? Are you ok?"

Andy couldn't speak, she just nodded her head against Sam's chest.

Sarah laughed softly.

"You two are cute, y'know that? Andy, you don't have to be embarrassed in front of me. It's not like I don't know you guys share a bed."

Sam almost choked on the mouthful of coffee he'd just taken.

Sarah couldn't help herself, she burst out laughing at her brother's reaction.

"Come on, you two, let's eat."

Throughout supper, both Sam _and_ Andy's thoughts were on Sarah's remark. It was comforting _and_ unnerving to know she was _that_ comfortable with them as a couple.

Because Sarah had cooked, Andy offered her and Sam for clean up.

Sarah stuck her head in the kitchen. "Hey Sammy? You got anything you need washed? Besides the uniform? Figured I'd do a load or two of laundry. Andy?"

Sam closed his eyes. He forgotten all about offering to get some of Andy's stuff. Throwing the tea towel on the counter, Sam grabbed Andy's hand.

"Yeah, the cleaners need to be called for both our uniforms. And while you're playin' Molly Maid, I'm gonna run Andy over to the condo so she can grab some stuff, since I forgot to earlier." He looked at Andy. "Because I'm pretty sure your wardrobe choices are down to my sweats."

Andy laughed.

As he passed her, Sam kissed his sister's cheek in thanks, she squeezed his shoulder.

Over at the condo, Andy wasn't sure _what_ to pack. She had _no_ idea how long she'd be at Sam's.

His voice from the doorway startled her out of her thoughts. Sam laughed as he leaned against the doorframe and said, "Sorry."

"It's ok, just not sure _what_ to take."

"There _is_ a solution to that."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Everything."

"Sam, I am _not_ packing everything."

"Why not?"

"Because _that_ implies moving."

"Sounds good to me. How many boxes did we have when you moved _in_?"

"Sam, we've never even discussed the _idea_ of living together."

"Good point. Why not?"

"Why not? Because we've been together for seven months. Well, six since we can't count the last one."

"So you want us paying _two_ mortgage payments when we're staying under _one_ roof?"

Andy couldn't look at Sam as she answered quietly, "What I _want_ is not to screw _us_ up by moving too fast."

Sam walked into the room and turned Andy to face him.

"Andy is this about me …"

"No, Sam, this is about _me_. Things happened _way_ too fast with Luke. I don't want to make the same mistake twice."

"And living together would be a mistake?"

"No …"

Andy …"

"I know it's not the same."

"No, it's not. We've had these feelings for over two years. As much as I hate to say it, because I don't want to hurt you, it doesn't change the facts - Callaghan moved you in as a trophy. To remind me he had what I wanted."

"I know."

"It has nothing to do with anyone but you and me. You move in this time, it's because it's where we both want you to be. In case you haven't figured it out, I _like_ having you there. I wouldn't call it _home_ if I didn't think it was yours too."

"You _really_ want to do this?"

"Don't you?"

"Yeah, I do … but what about my mortgage?"

"What about it?"

"Sam, I only signed it six months ago …"

"So we break it and pay the penalty."

"Sam, I don't have that kinda money."

"Andy, I didn't say _you'd_ pay the penalty, I said _we_ … I thought you said you listened to me?"

"Funny."

"Seriously, Andy, it isn't about me … or you anymore, at least not for me. It hasn't been since that night you walked into the Alpine. Even if I didn't tell you how important you are until it was almost too late."

"When?"

"When what?"

"When do you want to get boxes and start packing my stuff up?"

"Yesterday."

"What're we gonna do with all my furniture? Your place is already furnished with your stuff."

"Do you _want_ any of it? If not when we sell it you can list it as fully furnished. My stuff? You want to re-decorate the house?"

No. Listing it as furnished works."

"Hey, don't do this for me. Do what _you're_ comfortable with, when you're ready. If that means we re-decorate so you're more comfortable, we will."

"No, Sam, there's nothing wrong with the house. Just the idea of having _two_ of everything - mine and yours - doesn't make sense …"

"So we get rid of everything that's _mine_ or _yours_ and we turn it into _ours_."

"Sam, we don't _have_ to do that."

"If it means you're more comfortable at the house, yeah, we do … or is the house the problem? "

"What? No. Why would the house be a problem?"

"I don't know, but if you'd rather we find some place different …"

"Do not, I repeat, do _not_ even suggest we sell your house. I love that house because it's _you_."

"And here I always thought it was you."

"I guess that makes it _us_ then, doesn't it?"

"Guess so. Now, about this packing …"

"I say we forget about it til tomorrow."

"I'll recruit Sarah to help."

Andy laughed.

"Hey, she's better at this moving thing. I'll just do the heavy lifting."

"We gotta get boxes in the morning."

"You packing any clothes tonight?"

"Awful eager aren't you?"

"Curious. Need to know if we have to build a bigger closet."

"I _could_ just leave my stuff in my suitcases … like when I stayed with Traci …"

Andy had to hide her face to hide her smile. Sam's reaction did _not_ disappoint.

"You did _not_ just suggest you're going to live out of your suitcase in your own home, McNally."

"Think about it, Sam …"

"Absolutely not!"

Andy couldn't contain her laughter anymore and burst out laughing.

Sam reached for her. "Woman, you're gonna pay for that."

Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned up and kissed him.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, I get to do _your_ paperwork for a week after I get back."

"Who said anything about a week?"

"Sam, _please_ tell me you're up to date on your paperwork."

"Just 'cause I _tell_ you that doesn't mean there won't be paperwork waitin' for you, McNally."

"You can be so cruel. In case you've forgotten, I'm not your rookie anymore."

"Newsflash, McNally, you'll _always_ be _my_ rookie!"

"I could be ok with that if it didn't mean I got to do your paperwork!"

Sam kissed her before saying, "Uh, if I remember correctly, I've helped _you_ with paperwork a time or two."

Andy shook her head in amusement. She wouldn't remind him _why_ he had been so eager to help her with _her _paperwork, because even _before_ they got together, he _had_ helped her … once or twice.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Did Frank say when we get to go back on duty?"

"Since you only had one of the three mandated appointments with the shrink from hell, I'm not sure. But I'm sure Frank will figure something out. Why?"

"Because I don't _need_ to pack anything tonight if we're coming back tomorrow to pack _everything_."

"Then what're we waitin' for? Let's go."


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, Sarah followed Sam's truck over to Andy's condo. Her car, like Sam's truck full of empty boxes. The plan was for Sarah to get a head start on packing while Andy and Sam went to the bank to deal with Andy's mortgage.

Breaking her mortgage wasn't as painful as Andy had feared it would be.

When Sam opened the door to the condo, Andy expected complete and utter chaos, instead, there were boxes stacked all over, each labeled with the room it was coming from.

"Wow!"

Sarah laughed. "Hi. Figured I'd get started by laying out the boxes and labeling them. I didn't want to start before you got back since I don't know what you're taking and leaving. Sam was as good as his word - he left the packing to the girls, pulling his weight by lugging the boxes out to the truck.

With Sarah's help, the condo was packed up by that afternoon.

Too exhausted to care, Andy and Sarah agreed when Sam suggested take out and called an order in to Swiss Chalet. Sarah was sitting on the floor leaning against the chair, while Andy was curled up on the couch leaning against Sam. Andy leaned away from him, when Sam got up to answer the door.

Sam placed the take out bags on the coffee table before going into the kitchen to retrieve plates and silverware. By the time he returned to the living room, the girls had gathered enough energy to unpack the food. By the time they were done, both Sarah and Andy could barely keep their eyes open. Sam sent Sarah to bed and Andy crashed on the couch while he cleaned up. When he was done, he picked a sleeping Andy up and carried her to bed.

It was still fairly early and since he hadn't worked as hard as the girls had, Sam _wasn't_ ready for bed yet.

Looking around the room, then at Andy sound asleep in bed, Sam got an idea.

As quietly as he possibly could, Sam cracked open all the boxes in the bedroom. By the time he crawled in next to Andy the bedroom was no longer _his_, it was _theirs_ - and he didn't have to rebuild the closet!

Sam fell asleep with a smile on his face and his arms around the girl of his dreams.

She'd been so exhausted when they got home, Andy barely remembered that Sam had unloaded all the boxes. What she _did_ remember when she woke up the next morning was the fact that she had to unpack everything, _almost_ everything she silently amended as she sat up and looked around the bedroom - there wasn't a box in sight.

Getting up to use the bathroom, Andy wasn't surprised that Sam was awake when she crawled back in bed. Sam wrapped his arms around her as she said, "Somebody was busy last night."

"Did you find everything?"

"Just took a quick look. I'll figure it out. Thank you."

"For?"

"Sam, there isn't a single box in here."

"No. You want the boxes labeled **BEDROOM** you'll have to look in the garage because they're all busted up waiting to be recycled."

" Well, you didn't _have_ to unpack them. Thank you."

'I wanted to. You're welcome."

"So what's downstairs?"

"Boxes. I just unpacked in here. Didn't want you waking up to boxes."

"Keep it up, Swarek, you're not gonna get rid of me."

"That _is_ the plan, McNally."

Andy laughed softly and rolled over in his arms to kissed him.

They heard the door to Sarah's room open.

"You ready to get rid of some boxes?"

"What?"

"That door just told us it's time to get our asses _out_ of bed." At Andy's questioning look, Sam said, "If we wanna recognize our house we can't leave my sister unsupervised and alone with boxes."

Sarah had coffee ready and waiting when they made their way downstairs.

"Mornin'!"

"Mornin', Sis. How'd ya sleep?"

"Morning, Sarah."

"I was too exhausted to remember," she laughed.

"Thanks for your help getting it all done yesterday, Sarah."

"I was happy to. Where do you want to start today? Bedroom?"

"Done."

Sarah looked at Sam.

"I unpacked _those_ boxes last while the two of you were dead to the world."

"Ok, so since there's no furniture to move …"

Sam looked at Andy and grinned as he shook his head. His sister _did_ love to decorate.

"Yes, have I thanked you for not giving my sister an excuse to re-arrange our house?"

"Sammy!"

"Don't look so shocked, Sis. You know _damn well_ you'd re-arrange this house in a heartbeat if given the chance …"

"Just because I decorated once …"

"Once she says. I was undercover and came home to a house I didn't recognize!"

Andy laughed at the mental image of that. Sam turned to her.

"My _sister_ may not have permission to gut this house, but if _you_ want to …"

"Sam, we talked about that, no. We are _not_ re-decorating the house."

"Why the hell not?" Sarah interjected.

"Because I _like_ the house the way it is."

"You should be flattered, Sis …"

"Fine, be that way, no re-decorating."

Sam laughed at his sister's reaction.

After breakfast Sam volunteered to unpack the sole box Sarah had labeled **KITCHEN** while the girls tackled the few boxes Andy had for the living room.

Because they were selling the condo as furnished, almost all the stuff Andy had for the kitchen was still there. As he opened the box he found most of what she'd brought was personal - a mug from the academy, another from Tommy that said, _My daughter: My pride, My joy_ along with a few other things. The contents were unpacked, washed and put away within half an hour.

Pouring three coffees, Sam went to see how things were going in the living room.

He hadn't known what shape he'd find the living room in, the last thing he expected was to find them sitting on their asses talking!

"Am I interrupting?" he asked as he handed his sister her coffee before Andy took the two remaining cups as he joined her on the couch and put his arms around her.

"Since you brought coffee, little brother, you're forgiven … this time."

"Just for that, next time, you get your own."

"It's nice to know you two get along," Andy said sarcastically.

Sam and Sarah shared a smile.

"Just because he's the only family I got, want, or need , doesn't change the fact that my brother,"

"My sister,"

"can be a pain in the ass!"

The fact that they were looking at each other and laughing made it obvious they were kidding.

Sam looked at Andy when her phone rang. Checking the caller I.D., they saw it was Traci so she answered it.

"Hey Trac,"

"Andy, you ok? I just went by the condo …"

"Uh, yeah, I, uh, I kinda don't have the condo anymore, Trac."

"Yeah, I got _that_ from the building manager. _When_ were you gonna tell me, Andy? And if you don't have the condo anymore, where _are_ you?"

Andy couldn't help but laugh. Traci couldn't _not_ sound like a mom!

"Trac, stop. I'm fine. I'll explain the next time I see you."

"And when's _that _gonna be? No, Andy. Tell me what's going on, _now_!"

"Hold on."

"She went to the condo …"

"Shit!"

"She's freaking out, Sam, what'm I gonna do?"

"Tell her you'll meet her at the Penny after shift."

"Are you sure?"

"We gotta face her sometime, Andy. Might as well get it over with."

"Smooth Sammy, real smooth," Sarah chuckled.

"I just hope she doesn't kill me _before_ we tell her we're back together."

Andy turned back to the phone. "Trac, meet you at the Penny after your shift?"

"Are you finally _not_ going to avoid the Penny because you might run into Swarek?"

"Let me worry about Sam, ok?"

"Andy, it's been over six weeks, the guy told you he _loves_ you …"

"Gotta go, Trac, see ya after your shift," and Andy hung up, burying her face in Sam's chest.

Sam rubbed her back. They hadn't counted on Traci.

She was still grieving Jerry, of course she'd check up on Andy.

"Baby, relax. If it'll make you feel better Sarah and I'll sit at the bar while you talk to Nash."

"Excuse me? You're not draggin' me into the middle of this."

"You're going. You're going to offer Nash your condolences since you weren't here when it happened and you were friends with Jerry."

"Acquaintances, Sammy. _You_ were friends with him."

"Minor detail, Nash doesn't know, nor does she _need_ to know."

"He makes it sound so casual."

Sam grinned.

Finishing his coffee he asked, "How much we got left to unpack, baby?"

"I think we're done. I didn't exactly bring much."

"The most important thing is sittin' on this couch …"

Sarah rolled her eyes and shook her head.


	13. Chapter 13

For the second time in two days, Sarah was following Sam's truck.

Sam pulled into the lot at the Penny and killed the engine. Turning to look at Andy, he took her hands in his. "You ok?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was fine?" She gave him a small smile.

Sam laughed. "You will be, y'know."

"Sam, she's gonna _kill_ me! I haven't talked to her since my last shift. _Before_ I held a live grenade. I still don't know how she knew you told me you loved me, but she does. The fact that I kinda went M.I.A for a couple of days … I think this is the first time since Jerry … "

"Andy, stop beatin' yourself up over that. That was Jerry's call to go in alone. Jerry's alone."

"I just don't know if I can do this …"

"Do what? Tell her we're back together? Tell her we're living together? What can't you tell her?"

"It's not telling her that's the problem."

"Then what is?"

Andy couldn't look at him as she said, "Being away from you."

"Baby, we do this however _you_ want. If that means we show up separately, that's fine, _but_, if you wanna walk through those doors together, I'm not about to tell you no."

"God, what you must think of me."

"I _think_ you're trying to be as considerate of Nash's situation as you can and I respect that, more than you know. It would mean so much to Jerry, to know you're looking out for her …"

"She's my best friend, no matter how happy _I_ am, how happy _we _are, I can't forget or ignore that she lost her fiancé … Do we _have_ to go in separately? Can't we go in together? I'll go talk to Traci then you come join us?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's go."

Sam stopped just before opening the door and looked at Andy, She squeezed his hand and nodded before letting go.

With his hand on her back for re-assurance, Sam opened the door. The moment they stepped inside it was like the whole bar had taken a collective breath in surprise at seeing them walk in together … like everyone was waiting for the fireworks to start.

Watching them, nobody else would've even noticed, Sam's movement so imperceptible, when he gave a nod to the bar. As much as she wanted to smile, she couldn't, not without somebody noticing so she nodded her head before going to find Traci.

Traci stood up when Andy walked over to the table. She was so happy to see her, to know she was ok that when they hugged Traci held on a little tighter than she would have two months ago.

"Sorry Trac."

Traci didn't miss a beat. "Well, you didn't kill him."

"What?"

"Sam, he held the door for you and you _didn't_ try to kill him or … Does that mean you're at least _speaking_ to him again? Come on, Andy, give the guy another chance."

Andy couldn't see him walking up behind her, but she could _feel_ it - when he was close enough to smell him, she took a drink to hide her smile.

Sam went to the bar and after the noise level re-adjusted made arrangements for his and Andy's tab and to wait for Sarah.

The moment Sarah walked up beside him, he motioned for a drink for her. They sat at the bar for a few minutes before Sam grabbed their drinks and made his way over to Andy and Traci's table where Sarah would join them.

Sam set a fresh beer in front of Andy, making sure to keep his arm around her as long as he could. He could feel her nerves.

"Nash."

"Sam."

"Hey Sammy," and Sarah kissed her brother's cheek.

"Hey Sis."

"Nash, I'd like you to meet my sister, Sarah. Sis, this is Jerry's fiancé, Det. Traci Nash."

"Nice to meet you, Sarah," Traci said quietly. Nobody had introduced her that way in over six weeks.

"Nice to meet you too, Traci, I wish it could've been under different circumstances. I'm sorry about Jerry."

"Thank you."

The fact that Sam still had his arm around Andy's shoulder caught Traci's attention. so did the fact that Andy wasn't pushing him away.

"Alright, you two … spill it, _now_."

Sam and Andy looked at each other.

"Swarek, you've had your arm around her for over five minutes."

The arm in question dropped.

"Habit."

"Yeah, well, that _habit_ woulda got you knocked on your ass not that long ago … Does this mean what I _hope_ it means?"

Sam put his arms around Andy as she leaned back against him.

"Hot damn! It's about time!"

Traci looked over at the bar to where Jerry used to sit before she took Andy's hands in hers and continued. "I would give _anything_ to have Jerry here …"

"I know, Trac."

"No, I don't think you do, Andy. You guys have wasted six weeks you can't get back. If you love each other _nothing_ else matters.

There were tears in Traci's eyes, she tried to blink them away.

Sam walked over to Traci and put his arms around her, Traci allowed him to comfort her.

"I miss him, Sam."

"So do I, Nash, so do I."

"He loved you, y'know. You _were_ his brother."

"_That_ was a two-way street, Traci. Him 'n Ollie, they _are_ my brothers."

"Thank you.

"I meant it when I told you, if you or Leo need anything, you call me."

"I know, I will."

"Don't be too hard on her," Sam whispered for Traci's ears only, "She moved in yesterday."

Traci's jaw dropped. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Congrats Swarek. Jerry'd be happy for you, _I'm_ happy for you."

"I know. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to tell you before you went looking for her, but we packed it/listed it yesterday, then unpacked her stuff today."

Traci looked at him and grinned. "Since Jerry's _not_ here, let me say it _for_ him - Way to go, Sammy. Took you long enough."

Sam laughed because Jerry _would_ have said exactly that.

Traci sat back down and Sam returned to standing behind Andy. They talked and laughed until the opening of the door caught Traci's attention - Oliver.

"Uh, guys, does Shaw know? If not, Sam, there's no better time to tell him," and she motioned to the bar.

Both Sam and Andy looked in the direction Traci had pointed.

"Comin' with me?"

"Do you _want_ me to?"

Sam didn't bother answering her, just grabbed her hand and pulled her off her seat, throwing a "Be right back," over his shoulder.

Sam clapped Oliver on the shoulder, "Hey brother."

"Hey Sammy."

When Andy sat on what would've been Sam's seat with Sam standing behind her, Oliver took notice.

"Somethin' you wanna tell me, brother?"

"Other than Nash, you're the first to know …"

"Know what, Sammy?"

Sam looked at Andy, she nodded.

"My living arrangements have changed …" he began.

Oliver looked at him.

"Remember the other night, I said Andy was staying at my place?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's not _my_ place anymore. As of last night, McNally is no longer a _guest_. Poker night is now at _our_ house."

Oliver looked at Andy who gave him a shy smile.

"Congratulations, brother. McNally, I'm happy for you … if you're _sure_ you wanna put up with him."

Andy laughed. "I'm sure, Oliver."

"So this is it?"

"This is it, brother."

Andy wasn't sure what they were talking about.

"You sure you're ok with poker nights, McNally?"

"Poker night was here before me, Oliver."

"Sammy, brother, the woman accepts poker night. She took you back once, do _not_ screw it up twice!"

Andy couldn't help but laugh, but it ended on a yawn, a yawn that she didn't quite hide quick enough from Sam, because he clapped Oliver on the shoulders and said they'd see him soon before he lifted Andy off the barstool and set her on her feet. Leading her back to the table he grabbed their stuff and gave Sarah enough cash, asking her to take care of their tab because he was taking Andy home.


	14. Chapter 14

Once in the truck, her head against the window, Andy groggily said he didn't have to do that, which got a laugh for a response before Sam said, "Yeah, you're wide awake there."

She was out cold by the time he pulled into the driveway and killed the engine.

He undid her belt before getting out, he went and opened the door of the house so he didn't have to wake her, he just carried her into the house. He still didn't trust her sleep so he put her on the couch.

Sarah wasn't long behind them. She found them on the couch. Sam sitting rubbing her back, a haunted look in his eyes.

"What happened?"

"Must've been something Ollie said, she woke up screaming at Luke that she was done being second best when I put her first."

"Luke? I thought _that_ relationship was history?"

"It was. It is … except her fear of not being good enough, of being left …"

"Oh Sammy …"

"Yeah, the fact that _I_ left her, doesn't help …"

Andy woke to the sounds of Sam and Sarah's voices and the feel of Sam's hand rubbing her back. She laid there listening as Sam opened up, revealing just how close the bond between the siblings was.

Sarah sat on the arm of the couch and put her arm around her brother. She could tell this was something he needed to get out, so she sat and waited.

"How's she supposed to forgive me for that, Sis? Can I even expect her to?"

"I don't know, Sammy. I don't know her well enough yet."

"Does that mean you're _going_ to get to know her better?"

"Would it bother you if I did? You've never let me get that close before."

"That's because they didn't matter as much as this one."

Sarah smiled at the admission.

"I've always known the dangers of the job. Wasn't that big of a deal."

Sarah sucked in a breath.

"I know what it does to you, Sis, and I'm sorry. But you're the reason I do what I do."

"I know, Sammy, but that doesn't mean I don't worry."

"I know."

Sam looked at Andy then at Sarah.

"I've never said this about anybody, Sis … I'm not afraid to die, but live without her? I'm scared to live without her."

Andy couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I thought I was doing the right thing when I walked away from her. I don't _ever_ want her going through what Traci went through, is going through. Not because of me."

"Don't you think that's _her_ decision, Sammy?"

"Trust me, Sis, it was never more obvious than when she was holding that grenade - this girl _is_ my life."

"Those are some pretty serious words, comin' from you."

"I sound like a cliché, I know."

"You _sound_ like you're in love, little brother."

"For the first and only time with a woman who isn't you."

Sarah hugged him. This was the Sam Swarek few knew but who she hoped Andy would.

Sam was pretty sure the brunette whose head was in his lap had heard most - if not all - of their conversation. He wondered why she didn't say anything. Then it occurred to him - she didn't _have_ a sibling, the closest she had to a sister was Traci, she didn't know what it was like to have the bond he and Sarah had - and she didn't want to intrude, not that she would have.

He didn't tell Sarah anything he wouldn't have told Jerry's headstone, the only difference is that with Sarah the conversation wasn't one-sided. Nor was it anything he _wouldn't_ tell Andy.

Sarah yawned, kissing her brother's head she got to her feet saying she was calling it a day.

"Thanks for listening."

"Any time, you know that."

"Yeah, I do. I love you. Night."

Once he heard Sarah's door close he turned his attention back to a certain brunette.

Leaning over her, he brushed her hair out off her forehead and kissed it before saying softly, "You can open your eyes now."

Andy blinked as she opened her eyes and softly replied, "Hi."

"Hi … You wanna tell me how much of that you heard?"

"How …"

"Woman, you share my bed, I _know_ when you're asleep."

"I'm sorry …"

"For what?"

"It was a private conversation, I didn't …"

"Baby, I didn't tell my sister anything you couldn't hear or anything I didn't want you to know. Well, except maybe that my sister's the only woman who's ever heard me say 'I love you' - til you."

"That's not news, Sam, I knew that ... that's why it means so much."

"You ready?"

Sam was answered by a yawn. Laughing, he said "Come on, let's get you to bed."

They were laying in bed with her head pillowed on his chest when Sam said, "What Sarah said was true."

"What's that?"

"She didn't know my other girlfriends."

"Why?"

"Because I never wanted my sister to be friends with an ex and every other girl I was involved with … I knew she wasn't you."

"Same could be said about you, y'know."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sam laughed when she couldn't answer without yawning. Kissing the top of her head, he said, "Go to sleep." She was too exhausted to do anything but close her eyes.

Next time she opened them, it wasn't Sam's chest under her head but an empty bed.

Climbing out of bed - she didn't bother getting dressed, Sam's t-shirt and her lounging pants were good enough - she made her way downstairs.

She found him sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, lost in thought. When she took the cup from his hands, he brought her into focus.

"Good morning."

"Is it?"

Sam pushed himself up enough and kissed her, with his arm around her waist, he pulled her onto the couch. Sitting with her back against his chest and his arms around her, Andy could _feel_ something wrong.

"Where's Sarah?"

"Shopping."

"You ok?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"How much of last night do you remember?"

Andy thought for a minute. "Not much actually. Why?"

"Because I'm sorry if I pushed you into this and you weren't ready."

"Sam, what're you talking about?"

"Last night, you woke up screaming at Luke … more than once."

"Luke?"

"Yeah, after we got back from the Penny, you woke up screaming at him that you were done being second best when I always put you first."

"You do."

"What you heard last night was me telling Sarah, because I was trying to calm you down when she got in. Same thing happened after we got in bed. I'm sorry if you think I rushed this."

"Sam, no."

"You've had a helluva year. First everything that happened with Callaghan, then we got together, then we _weren't_ together, then we got together, then Jerry … then I screwed up, then John Grey and the shrink from hell, now … now we're living together."

"Sam, no. Even when I was with Luke, this was the only place I _wanted_ to be."

Sam let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"Somehow I think if Frank called and said we'd been cleared to come back you'd be off this couch in a heartbeat." Sam laughed softly.

Turning to face him, Andy pulled her legs underneath her as she said, "Did he call?"


	15. Chapter 15

Sam laughed as he hugged her. "He called to warn us there's a few new rookies roaming the halls of the division."

"Who cares about the rookies?! When do we get to go back on duty? I love you, but …"

"You miss the streets, I know, baby."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The day you _don't_ enjoy the job is the day to hang up your shield, Andy."

"Not today … So what did Frank say?"

Sam laughed. "And my over-eager rookie is back!"

"Not so eager to be out there without you …"

"Baby, you _know_ they won't let us ride together …"

"I don't have to like it!"

"You think I do? Hell, I'm thinking of talking to Frank about Jerry's spot …"

"Sam!"

"I don't _want_ to be on the streets without you, this way I'm not."

"But _I _am …"

"And you'll be fine. If I thought for a second you wouldn't be there's _no way_ I'd put myself behind a desk! You're still gonna do my paperwork, though … right?"

His teasing worked, she gave a small laugh.

"You really want to go in?"

"Sam, we _need_ to get back to routine, if we don't I'm scared these nightmares will _become_ routine … and if it's all the same to you, you're the only thing I want to dream about."

"This is no dream, McNally. Ok, go get ready and I'll call Frank see if he'll put us on the desk."

"You _hate_ the desk."

"Yeah, I do, but not as much as I love you and until the white shirts say otherwise, you're still my partner, which means, if _you're_ on the desk, so am I."

Andy got up and headed for the stairs and Sam reached for his phone.

By the time Andy came back down he had arranged desk duty for them _and_ called Sarah so she wouldn't worry when they weren't there when she got back.

They walked into parade to a very loud cheer from Andy's fellow rookies and a round of applause from the rest of the division.

"They were just told you're on the desk," Frank explained.

"Yeah, it's nice to know you guys care … and aren't just happy _you_ didn't get that assignment," Andy said sarcastically. Sam squeezed her shoulders.

Frank finished parade and released everybody. Everybody but Sam and Andy filed out. Frank sat on a nearby desk. "You two sure you want to do this?"

"It's what _she_ wants, Frank."

"It's what I _need_."

"Ok, you two, you're riding the desk until I can figure out how to get you back on the streets without those other two visits to your favorite doctor."

Sam responded with a growl at the mention of Dr. Roemer.

"Calm down, man, I said _without_."

"I heard ya man, I just don't like that bitch."

"Really? I never would've guessed."

"Funny, Frank, real funny."

"I hate to bring this up, your first day back, but …"

"You're gonna split us up …"

"I have to."

"We know, Frank, it's ok."

Sam squeezed the hand that found its way into his.

"Has Jerry's spot in Ds been filled yet?"

"It is as soon as you say you're interested."

"If I can't be out there with her, I don't want to be out there, Frank."

"Then the spot's yours."

"Just like that?"

"You'll have to shadow somebody but I'm not gonna insult you by calling you a junior detective. And I already know you won't leave her until she's back to full duty so don't worry about when you get slotted into the rotation."

"Thanks. Who you gonna partner her with?"

"I think if we partner her with Collins the entire division will benefit when dealing with Peck since they're not willing to put their relationship out there."

"Ok. I can trust him to take care of her."

"Sam! I can _take care_ of myself!"

"Sammy, I think I'm gonna go and let you get yourself outta this on your own, my friend."

Sam shook Frank's hand. "Thanks for everything."

The moment they were alone, Sam knew what was coming.

"Did you _really_ just tell my _Staff Sergeant_ I can't take care of myself?!"

"No."

"Damn well sounded that way to me!"

"Then clean out your ears, because I would never suggest that. But do I want you partnered with somebody I can trust to have your back and make sure you come home to me? Damn right I do! And Frank _knows_ I wasn't referring to your abilities on the street. It _wasn't_ a comment made in uniform, Andy and Frank knows it."

"You're as bad as my dad."

"He loves you, so do I, I'll take that as a compliment."

Andy shook her head.

"Come on, that damn desk is waiting."

Andy laughed.

Sarah made the decision to stay until Andy and Sam were back to full duty - no matter how long that took. An entire week of riding the desk passed before Frank was able to get clearance for them to return to full duty.

As much as she missed Sam, after the way he was there for her, it was easy for Andy to spend ten hours a day in the squad car with Nick. He had become the brother she never had.

Sam was quickly becoming used to the new routine - though he missed spending his days with Andy.


	16. Chapter 16

The gang gathered at the Penny that Friday night to celebrate Andy's return to the streets and Sam's move to the Ds. It was their first time in public since Andy had moved in.

Andy was coming out of the bathroom when a conversation stopped her.

"Hey, have you heard the latest around the division?"

"No, what?"

"That hot detective, what's his name, S something …"

"Swarek?"

"Yeah. Word is he's got something going on the side and his girlfriend hasn't got a clue!"

Her breath caught in her chest. No, that wasn't possible. Not only would he not do that to her after what happened with Luke … That wasn't Sam.

"You _do_ know his girlfriend is a fellow uniform, right?"

"Who cares? The guy's hot. If he's not happy at home, I have _no_ problem helping to put a smile on his face. Can you imagine what he'd be like in bed?" The girl laughed seductively. "Oh yeah, I'd gladly spread my legs for _that_!"

Andy almost swallowed her tongue. She _had_ to get out of there.

She returned to the table, her heartbeat racing. Sam saw the wild look in her eyes and silently wondered what the hell happened.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, just …"

"Ready to go?"

"Please?"

Sam went and paid their tab, he returned to the table, tossed back the last of his drink and helped Andy into her jacket. Sam held Andy's hand as they left and her anxiety increased.

The ride home was silent. By the time they _got_ home Sam was on the verge of panic. _Something_ had happened at the Penny. He could feel it. They were sitting on the couch with his arms around her before he finally found the words.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"What?"

"At the Penny. What happened? Everything was great til you went to the bathroom before we left."

Of all the things she _could_ have said, what she _did_ say wasn't even on his radar.

"It's not true, is it?"

"What?"

"That there's somebody else and that I'm the only one in the division that _doesn't_ know." There were tears in Andy's eyes.

"What? Andy, no. Of course not. Where'd you hear that?"

"Tonight at the Penny. While I was in the bathroom. One of the new rookies was telling her friend about the hot detective who's messing around on his clueless girlfriend. Oh and how she wouldn't mind sharing your sheets."

"Hate to disappoint her, her being new and all, but I'm already sharing my sheets."

Andy tried to smile, she really did, that was after all what he wanted to see, but she just couldn't do it.

"Baby, do you know which of the rookies it was?"

"I wish I did, babe, but I don't. I don't know _any_ of the rookies. After tonight I don't _want_ to know her!"

"Go ahead, finish it." Sam chuckled, it wasn't very often she got this riled up.

"Finish what?"

"The rest of that thought, McNally."

"I don't think it's a good idea to tell a cop that I'd like to take a baseball bat to someone's car."

"You _didn't_ tell a cop, you told me. That's it? A little damage to the car?"

"I'm thinkin' more than _a little_, babe … and you don't hit girls."

"I may have to make an exception."

"No, you won't."

"You're right, _I_ won't … but that doesn't mean I'll stop _you_ if you wanna beat the livin' shit out of her."

Andy couldn't help it, despite the topic of conversation, she laughed.

"Do you _really_ think the _entire_ division would keep something like that from you?" he asked softly.

"I would hope not."

"Trust me, even Ollie would have _no_ problem stringing me up if he thought I was foolin' around on you … which I'm not."

"Why?"

"Why what, baby?"

"I don't even know her, why would she say somethin' like that?"

"I don't know, baby, but we _will_ know her Monday."

"Babe, no. I don't want to cause problems."

"Baby, you're not the one starting rumors about senior officers."

"Do you think she knew who I was?"

"I'd bet dollars to donuts she did, too bad for her she picked the wrong guy and the wrong relationship to fuck with because I _will_ let her live to regret it."

"Sam …"

"No, it's taken us a _long_ time to get where we are, I'm not about to let some upstart rookie who thinks she can sleep her way up the ranks hurt you."

It was habit, it had become _them_ for their conversations to happen on the couch with Sam's arms around her, while Andy leaned back against him. Subject matter _didn't_ matter - case in point, a rookie looking to cause trouble.

The idea that somebody could walk into the division with a complete disregard for the lives her recklessness affected pissed Sam off so badly he could barely see straight! He would personally see to it that she couldn't pull this kinda shit with _anyone_ ever again!

She was still having the occasional nightmare so when Sam suggested they call it a day, Andy was less than enthusiastic - when she woke up in tears she was even _less_ eager to go _back_ to sleep. Sam laid there with his arms around her, she didn't calm down without him promising he'd be there when she woke up.

As much as he wanted to, he didn't move when the alarm went, after last night she _wasn't_ going to wake up without him there!

He let her sleep as long as he could before crawling out of bed and carrying her to the bathroom. She was fighting it, she didn't want to remember last night. Sam laughed as she let him undress her for the shower - her eyes were still closed.

"I know you're awake, McNally."

"Because _you_ woke me."

"Beats the hell outta the way _you_ woke _me_ last night!"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You ok?"

"No … Yeah … I don't know."

"Which is it, Andy?"

"I don't know. I've never _been_ in a relationship I was scared to lose, Sam. And the idea I can lose it because of _her_ …"

"Hey. Look at me. It's _not_ gonna happen. We're not gonna _let_ it happen."

Andy's head fell on his chest and she wrapped her arms around his bare back.

"Come on, let's get showered and dressed. I gotta go in later …"

"But we're _off_ today …"

"Tell that to the paperwork on my desk."

"How much?"

"How much what?"

"Paperwork."

"Too much. Why?"

"Because I refuse to lose you to paperwork on _our_ day off!"

"Woman, did you just threaten to distract me from my paperwork?"

"Nope. In my caffeine-deprived state, I'm pretty sure I just offered to _help_!"

"Remind me _not_ to feed you caffeine _every_ time there's a mountain of paperwork sittin' on my desk."

In the kitchen Sam laughed as Andy grabbed the cup out of his hand. "Finally." Sam took the cup back and took a drink, a move that earned him a dirty look.

Frank was sitting in his office when they got to the station.

"I need to talk to Frank."

"No, Sam, you don't. Not today."

"Dammit Andy …"

"We don't even know who she is yet."

Sam growled. She was right. "I'll let it go today … for you. Monday, after parade, her ass is mine … and I do _not_ mean the way yours is, hers, will be on the chopping block!"

"That's Monday, the only thing on the chopping block today is your paperwork … let's go!"

Sam laughed as he led her to his office.

"Remind me again why I'm here …"

"I thought you volunteered to do my paperwork?

"Uh, no, I volunteered to _help_."

Sam laughed as he opened the door. "Yeah, well, since there's not that much, I figured you'd do all of it."

"What do you mean _not much_? I think the word you used at home was _mountain_ …"

"Ok, so I _might_ have said I had more than I actually do …"

"Then _why_ am I here?"

"Because I wasn't gonna leave you alone to come do paperwork."

Andy sat on his desk, Sam stood in front of her.

"You couldn't've just told me that?"

Sam brushed her hair away from her face.

"And upset you more than you already were? No."

Andy sighed. "Can we forget about _that_, please? At least for a little while?"

Until Monday after parade …"

"Thank you."

Sam sat down and grabbed a file on his desk. If there was _one_ thing he hated it was paperwork … no matter _how_ long it took! It only took a couple of hours. He probably could've been done sooner but his mind wasn't on paperwork … any other time the 'blame' for his distraction could be placed solely at the feet of the woman sitting on his desk. Today, his thoughts were filled with a woman he didn't even know. And the one question that kept running through his mind was _why_? It was a pointless question since it wouldn't get an answer until Monday. Looking at Andy, he forced himself to let it go, he'd said he would - until Monday, after parade. For the first time since being re-assigned, they had the day together and wasn't about to waste it thinking about someone else. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Andy's voice.

"Must be some case, to have you growling at the paperwork."

"What?"

"Babe, you were growling at paperwork."

To cover the _real_ reason for the growl he said, "I hate paperwork."

"Nice try. But that _wasn't_ your 'I hate paperwork' growl, that was your 'I'm pissed, you're screwed' growl."

"I'll be fine after we get outta here."

"When's _that _gonna be?"

"Now soon enough for you?" he asked as he signed the form in front of him and stood. Andy slid off his desk when he took her hand.

He was as good as his word, he left it at the barn.

They spent the day doing something they both missed - riding around together. The truck ate an entire tank of gas, but it was worth it - even if it _wasn't_ a squad car, the cab was filled with the familiar laughter and teasing Sam had always used to keep her calm her first days as a rookie when she'd been scared of her own shadow by the idea of failing as a cop. Most of her fellow rookies had been afraid of Swarek's 'bark' never willing to chance a 'bite', but he had been amazing with her, _to_ her. He gave her the belief in her ability to do what she did. She smiled.


	17. Chapter 17

"What's that smile mean?"

"What? Oh, just thinkin'."

"Imagine that, you, thinkin'."

"Kiss off."

"I'd rather kiss _you_!"

Andy laughed.

"Seriously, where'd you go?"

"Back in time."

"What's wrong with now?"

"Nothin'. Just thinking about how _this_ - drivin' around together - feels. How it's _always_ felt. I never understood why people were afraid of you when all I ever felt was _safe_ with you."

"That's because I didn't want _you_ to be afraid of me."

"Why?"

"Because you were Tommy's kid and I respected him too much not to make you into the best cop I could. Plus, it's hard to fantasize about a woman that's afraid of you." Andy couldn't stop the blush.

The upside to _not_ being in the squad car and being _out_ of uniform was that he could hold her hand while they rode around. It was getting late by the time they decided to head home. They were almost there when Sam's phone rang. Fishing it out his pocket he checked the I.D and handed it to Andy.

"Hey Oliver."

"Hey McNally, where's Sammy?"

"Driving."

"Where to?"

"Home, why?"

"Thought maybe you'd swing by the Penny …"

Andy laughed. "Hang on, I'll ask."

"Babe, he wants to know if we're meetin' everybody at the Penny."

The _last_ place he wanted to be was the Penny after what happened, but he wasn't gonna skip out on their friends because of it either.

"Your call, baby, you wanna go, we go; you don't, we won't."

She squeezed his hand and she turned back to the phone and said, "We're on our way," before hanging up.

"You sure about this?"

"No, but then I'm not sure about _a lot_ of things, lately."

"Andy …"

"Sam, it's ok. I believed in myself on the job because of you. You were always there no matter what to back me up, and now you're not. Now I have to trust that someone _else_ is gonna have my back and for someone that has trust issues that's no small thing."

"Do you remember that assignment I did for your friend, Boyd? The one _you_ volunteered to pose as my girlfriend on to back _me_ up so I wasn't going in alone?"

Andy smiled. "Gabe and Edie. How could I forget? I was terrified of doing something to blow it and give Boyd a reason to go after my badge."

"Like I woulda let _that_ happen. Do you remember that little pep talk I gave you before we went in?"

"Yeah."

By this time Sam was pulling into the lot of the Penny and killing the truck's engine. Undoing his belt, he turned to her and taking her face in his hands, he held her gaze as he said,

"It was true then and it's been true every day since. If you can't trust yourself, you trust me. And _I_ trust Collins to be there since I can't. Whether you trust anything else or not, trust this - whether I'm sittin' in that squad car next to you or not, there is _nobody_ who has more faith in you than me … even if I don't always show it."

There were tears in Andy's eyes.

"Hey, don't do that. Ollie'll kill me if he thinks I made you cry."

Andy couldn't help the small laugh.

"Is a new partner _all_ that's bothering you?"

"No. But we're not talking about that, remember?"

"Think again, McNally. I may've said I wouldn't talk to _Frank_ about it until Monday but I did _not_ say _we_ wouldn't."

"What good's it gonna do, Sam? Talking about it doesn't change that we don't know who she is or why she's trying to break us up."

"Key word baby, is _trying_."

"I know. It just pisses me off. We were just starting to work things out …"

"Andy, don't go there ..."

"I can't help it. Ever since Jerry … it feels like my life is spinning out of control and there's _nothing_ I can do to stop it. _Nothing_ is going according to plan …"

"You _planned_ us?"

Andy didn't acknowledge Sam's question, just kept talking.

"and there's nothing I can hold on to."

Sam put her hands on his arms, as he put them around her. "Does that feel like there's nothing to hold on to?"

"But you _weren't_ there. I called, texted, nothing."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just …"

"I know, Sam. God, I hate this! I was fine, _we_ were fine, now everything's fucked up again!"

"No, it's not."

"How can you say that?"

"Because we're both still here."

Sam wiped the tears that had fallen away.

"I know you told Ollie we'd be here, but baby are you _sure_ you want to do this?"

"Sam, we _have_ to. We can't _not_ spend time with our friends because … being here, being with them, is normal, and babe, right now, I _need_ that."

Sam could tell there was more to it, something she _wasn't_ telling him.

"What is it, baby?"

When she would have said 'nothing' he stopped her.

"Don't even _think_ about it, McNally. You are _not_ gonna try and tell me there's nothin' wrong when I can _feel_ that there's something you're not telling me."

"I can't."


	18. Chapter 18

"Why not?"

"You're asking a person with trust and abandonment issues _why _they can't tell the person they're terrified is going to wake up one day and say they've had enough that it's not worth it and walk away," Andy's voice broke, "_why_ they can't tell you? Because if it ever happens it'll destroy me, Sam!"

"That is _never_ going to happen!"

Sam grabbed his phone and dialed Oliver's cell phone.

"Hey brother, where are you?"

"Change in plans, brother, we'll do it another night."

"Everything ok?"

"No."

Oliver could tell by Sam's tone there was no point in asking, Sam wouldn't elaborate.

"You know where I am, man."

"Thanks man." Sam hung up and started the truck.

Andy thought they were going home, but when he didn't, she asked, "Sam, where are we going?"

"You'll see."

The rest of the drive was in silence as Andy tried to figure out where they were going. She was stunned when Sam pulled into a cemetery and shut off the truck. Not just _a_ cemetery, but _the_ cemetery where Jerry was buried.

Sam got out without a word.

It wasn't until he opened her door and helped her out that Andy said anything. Leaning against the closed door, she looked up at Sam and asked, "Sam, what're we doin' here?"

"Something I should've done a long time ago. Stay here if you want, or you can come with me."

"What do you _want_ me to do?"

Sam reached for her hand, Andy pushed away from the door.

Hand in hand, they walked in silence until they came to the headstone that read:

_In Loving Memory of_

_Jerry Barber_

_1973 - 2012_

_He Gave His Life in Service of Others_

Andy slipped her hand out of Sam's and put her arm around his waist. With her hand on his back she gave him a gentle push forward.

When he knelt next to the headstone Andy stood back. This was a very private moment between Sam and Jerry - even if it _was_ with a marble headstone. She was just there for support, to let Sam know he wasn't alone.

His voice surprised her, she hadn't expected him to speak out loud.

"Hey brother, sorry it's taken me so long to get here.

We're supposed to be havin' drinks at the Penny, not be here, not like this.

I'm supposed to be lookin' at that stupid grin you get on your face every time you talk or even _think_ about Traci lately … not lookin' at a chunk of god-damn granite!

What the hell were you thinkin', man?! Goin' in there alone?! Fifteen plus years on the job, you shoulda known better! You weren't some rookie who didn't know not to wait for backup! Hell, even a rookie doesn't pull that shit! At least _ours_ don't, because _we_ taught them not to play the hero, not to get themselves killed doin' somethin' stupid!

Jesus!

You fucked up, man, instead of watchin' you get married, I had to watch them put you here. And in case you're wondering, that _wasn't_ something I wanted to see any time soon.

And I'll tell ya somethin' brother, I'd rather listen to you go on and on about destination weddings versus city hall over having to listen to people talk about the kind of guy you _were_.

You remember that promise we made? Where I promised to take care of Traci if you promised to take care of Andy? Rest easy, brother, Nash is being taken care of.

You weren't supposed to leave me alone to take care of _two_ women, man.

Although God knows I'm lucky to still _have_ mine. I'm sure you've been watching and shaking your head and I can almost hear you say it: Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. What're you doin', brother?

And I guess that's part of the problem, after we put you here, I _didn't_ know what I was doin'. The only thing I knew was that I couldn't put Andy through what Traci went through, what she's _still_ going through.

Never thought you'd see the day, did you?

Sarah likes her. Now _there's_ an understatement! I honestly think if she had to choose between us, my sister would pick my girlfriend! But I guess that's a good thing, right? Your sister and the woman you're in love with, getting along.

You missed it, brother. I _finally_ told her. Timing sucked - she was holding a live grenade - but I told her.

_Really_ coulda used ya here, man. You coulda backed me up. Told her I wasn't _just_ saying it because of a damn bomb. That I've _been_ in love with her …

Instead of you re-assuring her, she got yelled at by Sarah … did I tell you that was how they met - minus formal intros? My sister bitchin' her out for not believing me when I told her I loved her. I love my sister, you know I do, but in _that_ moment, I could've strangled her! And all things considered, you _know_ how pissed I'd have to be to even _think_ that with Sarah.

I didn't … I _did_ kick her ass out though - of the room at the station after she got done tearing into Andy and I'm still not sure where she bedded down that night, I just know it _wasn't_ at the house.

Thinking about it now, I probably should've been worried when she didn't show up at the house, but I was more than a little pissed off at _her_ and well, you've _seen_ me when I worry about McNally …

Let me tell ya, brother, I did some worrying the first few days after that bomb. She was havin' nightmares every time she closed those beautiful brown eyes of hers. She's _still_ having the occasional one. I made the mistake of thinking the Dept. shrink could help once, that ain't gonna happen twice. What a bitch! You won't believe what she recommends for coping with your problems … popping pills or swim your way to the bottom of a bottle … No wonder we got drunks and addicts in uniform!

You woulda been proud of me, man - she came close to lighting the fuse, but I got Andy the hell out there _before_ I lost my temper.

Oh, I was told by your girl you'd be happy that I moved mine in. You heard right, McNally and I are living together. We're selling _her_ condo, so my house? It ain't _my_ house anymore, it's _ours_.

Had to listen to Ollie ask her if she _really_ wanted to live with me … leave it to him to be worried about poker night. She said she doesn't object, so he's cool with it. Don't tell him, but I saw through the act … after everything she's been through, he was looking out for McNally, he doesn't want to see her get hurt … again.

The division's got some new rookies. Not me brother. I trained my last when I trained McNally. Collins doesn't count, he bounced between all of us, never riding with one specific T.O.

He's a good guy and one helluva cop. Maybe it was his time in the military, but the guy's got a good head on his shoulders. Damn good thing too, Frank partnered him with McNally since we can't ride together anymore. And it's not _just_ because of the 'no relationships between partners' rule … can't ride with her when I'm riding _your_ desk in the Ds.

Can ya believe it? Me, riding a desk … and wearing something that resembles a dress shirt and dress pants _by choice _when necessary!

I wish you were here, you could help me with a little problem."

Sam could almost hear Jerry ask _So what's the problem, Sammy?_

"There's a rookie that's tryin' to cause problems between me and Andy. Sounds like she's gonna try and sleep her way up the ranks, if she does I don't really give a damn. What pisses _me_ off is that she intentionally let Andy overhear her telling a friend that I'm having an affair the _entire_ division knows about and that she wouldn't mind being next in line! I've never even laid eyes on her but I know if I ever got my _hands_ on her … Even if I wasn't in love with Andy, that _isn't the_ way to score points! I promised Andy I wouldn't talk to Frank about it until Monday after parade but dammit! I want her _gone_ - I do _not_ want her anywhere near Andy!

That's it, brother, everything you've missed since we had to put you here.

Now, I'm not sure how this works, I just know it doesn't feel like we're done.

But, I'm pretty sure if I turned around, a beautiful brunette's gonna be cryin'."

It really wasn't fair how well he knew her, Andy thought. But they weren't leaving until Sam was ready, not because of her. She walked up to him and her put hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, she whispered, "If you have to yell at him, yell at him. We've got all night," before kissing the top of his head and walking away again.

"Ya hear that? She actually gave me permission to yell at a chunk of granite! And exactly how the hell is _that _gonna help?! It's not gonna bring you back!

Until McNally I didn't _do_ emotion. Now … now I've got so many I don't know what to _do_ with them!

I love you as much as I always have … did I ever _tell_ you that?! If I didn't I'm sorry, I should have. As much as I love you, I hate you doin' somethin' so stupid. I hate you for leavin' Traci; for leavin' your friends; for leavin' the division short a great cop; and if I didn't miss you so damn much, I'd hate you for leavin' me without my best friend!

Dammit Jerry, you've been there every day for over fifteen years and now you're not, and I'm supposed to be ok with that? Sorry, but I'm not. I'm supposed to go on as if a part of me didn't die the day we said good-bye … how am I supposed to do that?!

I became a cop to protect girls like my sister, but I couldn't save my best friend? Some cop I turned out to be!

Andy thought I blamed her, I didn't, I don't … I just took it out on her. I blame your sorry ass for puttin' yourself in the position and I blame myself for not being able to save you!"

Hot angry tears were falling unchecked.

"You son of a bitch …

Now I feel bad for yelling at you and you're not even here!

And just who am I supposed to take to the cleaners on poker night now? Man, you were _always_ good for _at least_ half a paycheck!" Sam laughed sadly at the memory.

"And who's gonna drink your scotch at the Penny? You _know_ Ollie won't. He gets even sappier and more sentimental on the hard stuff. You shoulda _seen_ him after the funeral, wouldn't let anybody sit on your barstool … he _might've_ let Nash sit there, I don't really remember, that day _wasn't_ one of my finest, buddy.

Nice speech by the way. Didn't even know you were writin' it.

How did two guys like you and me get so damn lucky to have the girls we got? God knows I don't deserve McNally.

I put my ass on the line every time I put the uniform on, as cops we all do, but I don't do the stuff I used to do, I don't take the chances I used to. I can't. Not if it means she worries unnecessarily or gets hurt.

I guess that's why I'm having such a hard time wrappin' my head around what you did. _You_ were always the one that thought things through, never going off half-cocked . _I_ was supposed to be the reckless one. You blew _that_ theory all … to … hell when you went into that damn house alone. Way to play the fuckin' hero, buddy, too bad I'm not impressed with your heroics.

Not sure if I ever thanked you for the watch. The inscription's fitting, because every time I look at it that's exactly what I'll remember - the good times. And brother, there were _lots_ of 'em!

It's hard to believe that the good times from here on out, you won't be there to share them with me, to be a part of them, but I promise you, brother, you _will_ be thought about and missed.

And when that day comes when _I'm_ the one writing the speech, you will _not_ be forgotten.

Now, if I don't wrap this up soon, a beautiful brunette's gonna think I forgot about _her_."

Andy was just walking back to Jerry's grave, a flower in hand from a rose bush she'd found, when she heard Sam say,

"This is it, brother, you always said it would happen. Without question, without doubt, she's the one I've waited my life for - and didn't know it until she tackled me her first day on the job. But then _you_ knew that, didn't you? You've just been waitin' for _me_ to figure it out. Well, I waited 'til it was almost too late, but I figured it out, man."

Andy was shocked. Sam _wasn't_ the kinda guy to wear his heart on his sleeve, but this was _twice_ she'd _heard_ him tell someone how he felt about _her_. And those two people just happened to be two of the most important people in his life!

Sam hadn't heard her leave, but he heard her return and wondered where she'd went.

Getting to his feet, he placed a hand on the cold granite stone that read Jerry's name - a sharp contrast to the man Jerry had been - before turning around.

Andy could see the tear stains on his cheeks, saw the unshed tears still in his eyes. It hurt to see him in such pain. Usually _he _was the strong one.

Without a word, she held the rose out to him. He took it in one hand, holding out his other in invitation for her to join him.

They stood there silently, each reflecting on a life taken too soon and its impact on them as individuals as well as a couple.

Sam placed the rose on top of the headstone.

Wordlessly, he put his arm around Andy's waist and with his hand on her back turned her away from Jerry's grave.

Hand in hand, they walked back to the truck in silence.

Without a word, Sam placed the keys in her hand after unlocking the passenger side door.

Andy was grateful Sam knew he wasn't up to driving and went around to the driver's side and got in.


	19. Chapter 19

They drove in silence out to Cherry Beach. Andy hadn't been back since Brennan had brought her with the warning to stay away from J.D. that night. She backed into a spot near a lamp post, killed the engine and got out.

She had stopped and got take out since they hadn't had supper yet.

Sam dropped the tailgate on the truck and placed the pizza box on it before they each climbed up to sit down facing the water.

It was dark but the gentle lapping of the water on the shore was calm, soothing. They ate in silence.

When they were done, Sam shoved the pizza box into the box off the tailgate.

"This is the first time I've been here since that afternoon," she said softly.

"What afternoon?"

"When Brennan brought me here and told me to stay away from you that night."

"Jesus, Andy, we didn't have to come _here_. You coulda driven anywhere else."

"But I needed to come back here, and you're the _only_ one I _could_ come back with if I was ever _going_ to come back. Without you here the nightmare of what _could_ have happened …"

Sam didn't let her finish that thought. He put his arms around her and pulled her up against himself as he leaned against the truck frame. Kissing the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his chest, he whispered, "I'm right here."

"Did they tell you I went to the apartment after it came over the wire that there hadn't been contact with you? Boyd was pissed when he saw me. I was too worried about you to give a damn. I _think_ Jerry practically carried me out of there."

Sam chuckled and kissed her head, he could just imagine the fireworks.

"You shouldn't have been there."

"I had to see for myself …"

"Forgive me for _not_ wanting you to have seen that! How the hell did you even get in? _Somebody_ shoulda stopped you."

Andy laughed lightly. "They tried. I, uh, didn't listen."

"Shocking," Sam said sarcastically.

"Hey, you would've done the same thing."

She was right, he would have.

"Yeah, baby, I would've."

They were quiet for a few minutes before Andy asked the question she'd been wanting to ask since before they left the cemetery.

"You ok?"

"What was it you said? No, but I will be."

"How did you guys meet?"

"We all came up together.  
Looking at us, you'd have never said we'd get along, never mind be best friends. Jerry was all smooth and sophisticated … at least _he_ thought he was! Ollie and Zoe were still newlyweds, only married a couple of years …"

"Then there was you."

"Yeah. For whatever reason, we hit it off. They became the brothers I never had. We were never partners so they don't know me the way you do, but after fifteen plus years of friendship, they know me well enough to know what to expect. Of course the difference between you and them is they don't push me …"

"You _let _me push you because I _learn_ by pushing you … _and_ because you love me!"

Sam grinned. "Maybe."

"No maybe about it!" Andy laughed.

Andy could feel the change in Sam before he spoke.

"Does that mean you're not worried about a certain rookie anymore?"

When Andy would've moved Sam's arms tightened.

"Forget it, McNally, you're not goin' anywhere and we _are_ going to talk about this."

"So much for your sister's 'brilliant conversationalist' theory."

"Just because I don't talk to my sister about everything _doesn't_ mean I'm not gonna talk to _you_. And just so we're clear, I _do_ talk to my sister! Maybe not the way I talk to you …"

"God, I hope not!"

Sam laughed. "Smart ass!"

Then sobering, he finished, "I mean it Andy, you got nothing to worry about. Not now, not ever. I meant it when I said you wouldn't get rid of me without a fight. As for the shit disturbing rookie, well, she won't be causing 15 problems after Monday."

"What're you gonna do?"

"Give her a new place to hang her uniform."

"Meaning?"

"Let's just say there may be a spot opening up at 27 …"

"Sam! You wouldn't …"

"There's no would or wouldn't … I _am_. She'll be informed _during_ parade that she won't be going out with a T.O., and _after_ parade she will be informed that her ass has been transferred _out_ of the division!"

"You _do_ know you can't chase every rookie out of the division, right?"

"The ones that upset you? Yeah, I can. Besides, you're the only rookie I want to chase."

Andy couldn't help it, she laughed. "Sam!"

"I'm kidding … maybe."

Relaxing against him for the first time since they started this subject, Andy pulled his arms tighter as she said, "Do you ever wish things were different?"

"How?"

"Remember that night at the cover apartment, I asked if you ever wished we were normal?"

"Yeah."

"Well, normal just about blew up on me a couple of weeks ago, so, do you ever wish we were different … like I wasn't a cop."

"And not spend 10 hours of almost every day for 2 years riding with you? No. Because _that_ would mean I didn't get to see you smile, hear you laugh. See how incredibly compassionate you are with victims and the pride that lights you up like a Christmas tree when you solve a case."

She couldn't _see_ his smile, but she could hear it and the pride in his voice. She was glad he couldn't see the tears running down her cheeks.

"Why, do you?"

Andy took a deep breath to compose herself as she said, "Yes … No."

"Woman, don't _do_ that. It's ok to say it if you do."

"But I don't … not really …"

"Explain."

"I wish I'd handled the blackout different, GQ …"

Sam chuckled. "GQ?"

"When we were together, he always looked like something out of GQ … had the pretty boy thing goin' on."

"O … k. Anything _else_ you wish was different?"

"Yeah, I wish I had _your_ faith in me. I wish I didn't feel like I'm back to faking it til I make it because you're not the one who's there with me."

"You said you wished you'd handled the blackout different … how?"

"I was where I _wanted_ to be, I never woulda left. I woulda broke things off with GQ _before_ I found a ring that wasn't meant for me … and as amazing as that cover apartment was, I woulda admitted _long before then_ that I had fallen in love with my partner."

"But you didn't _tell_ me at the cover apartment."

"Doesn't mean I didn't feel it. I was scared to say it then, afraid you'd think I was using you as a rebound relationship when that's the last thing you've ever been."

"It may sound crazy, but if we had it to do over again, I'm not sure I'd do anything different. Think about it, baby, everything we've been through together has got us here today. Ok, so maybe I'd change the fact that Jerry's gone and my massive fuck up, but other than that … and the times 'GQ' hurt you, I'm good with it."

"You _really_ think we're better because it took us so long to get here?"

Sam kissed her temple. "I do."

They were quiet for a few minutes, the only sound the water lapping at the shore.

"What're you thinkin'?"

"Hmmm? About what you said."

"What about it?"

"You seem so _sure_."

""You mean you're _not_?"

"I've always been sure of how _I_ feel, but never hearing you say how _you_ felt, I was always afraid you didn't feel the same … then you put your hands on mine on that damn grenade … my God, Sam, I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."

Sam turned her in his arms so Andy was looking at him.

"You'll never find out."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Andy smiled.

"What's _that_ smile mean?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't think I've ever seen that smile before."

"I can't smile?" she teased.

"McNally, your smile lights my world, but that, that is a smile I've never seen … What're you thinkin'?"

"That for the first time in my life, I can trust someone, really trust someone with my heart … the fact that, that someone is the man I trust with my life … that, that _someone_ is you, is a bonus."

Sam hugged her. After _weeks_ of looking into her beautiful brown eyes and seeing vulnerability and ghosts, her eyes were alive again, it had been a long road, but the old McNally had fought and found her way back to him.

Sam checked his watch, it was well past midnight. He knew it was late, they hadn't left the cemetery til late, but he didn't think it was _that_ late! Thank God they had the day off.

A cool breeze came off the lake and Andy shivered.

"What'd ya say we go home?"

"Ok."

By the time Sam pulled into the driveway Andy was fast asleep and it was nearing 2 a.m.

He didn't bother to wake her, just carried her into the house and up to bed. Before crawling in next to her he made sure _all_ their alarms were off. He even put their phones on vibrate and left them on the counter in the kitchen, he wasn't taking any chances on a phone call waking them up.

Crawling into bed he had to smile at the way - even sound asleep - she curled up on her side with her head pillowed on his chest. It was the last thing he remembered.

It was close to noon before either of them woke up, they spent what was left of the day curled up on the couch.


	20. Chapter 20

The only word Sam would use to describe Andy Monday morning before they left the house was flighty.

They pulled into the parking lot more than a little early since Sam wanted to talk to Frank.

Getting out of the cab, Andy leaned against the door of the truck, trying to prepare herself for what was about to happen.

Sam knew she was nervous, with his hands on either side of her, she was pinned between him and the door.

"You ok?"

"Would you buy it if I said I was fine?"

"Haven't bought it for over 3 years, why start now?"

Andy laughed.

Sam tipped her chin up to look at him. Andy put her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his chest as he put his around her shoulders.

"Woman, I don't think I've _ever_ seen you as quiet as you've been lately. Come on, McNally, talk to me …"

"What do you want me to say, Sam?"

"You can start by tellin' me what's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours."

"I'm just not sure I can sit there with Nick and act as if the chick that's after my boyfriend _isn't_ in the room, babe."

"So _don't_ sit with Nick, baby. Stay at the back with me. It's not like you haven't done it before."

"But I can't promise I won't try and hold your hand during parade …"

Sam reached down and grabbed her hand. "Who said I'm lettin' go? Come on."

Hand in hand they walked into the station. He walked her to the girls' locker room.

Kissing her cheek, he said, "Why don't you go ahead and get ready while I'm talking to Frank? I'll meet you back here and we'll go in together."

"Ok."

With a quick kiss Sam left her in search of their staff sergeant.

Sam knocked on the frame of Frank's open door. "Got a minute, boss?"

"Sure, Sammy, what's goin' on?"

Sam walked in and closed the door.

"We got a problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"The rookie kind."

"Ya lost me, man, you don't even _have_ a rookie."

"And I don't _want_ one if they're just here to stir up trouble."

"What _kind_ of trouble?"

"The kind where they're talkin' trash about their senior officers."

That got Frank's attention. "Give it to me straight, Sammy, who is fucking with my division? How? When? Where? "

"Don't know the _who_, if I did, I woulda taken care of her myself. The _where_ and _how_, bathroom of the Penny Friday night when we celebrated her return to the streets, the little bitch told her friend, who I'm guessing is also a rookie, that I'm screwing around on Andy and that the _entire_ division knows. And she made damn sure Andy heard her. Oh, and she also made sure she said _she'd_ like to be one of the ones sharing my sheets. I don't have to tell you that it upset Andy."

"Is she alright? What about you?"

"We're fine … now, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that she has plans of sleeping her way through the ranks, Frank, and she doesn't give a rat's ass who she hurts along the way. But I _won't_ let her hurt Andy."

"Easy, Sam, calm down. What can I do?"

"I want her _gone_, out of the division. Send her to 27 or to Kapuskasing for all I care, just get her gone, _yesterday_."

Frank laughed at the options Sam gave him - their rival division or the middle of nowhere in the northern part of the province.

"You got something in mind?"

"How fast can we push the transfer through?"

Frank had thought he was kidding, evidently Swarek was serious.

"That's why you're in so early, you want it started before parade." It was more statement than question.

"I do. I'd _like_ to see her ignored during assignments and handed her ass after parade is over."

"Then get outta my office, you want this done _that_ fast I gotta put a rush on this paperwork."

Sam shook Frank's hand. "Thanks, boss, I appreciate your understanding."

"Sammy, it's either that, or you make somebody's life a living hell. I'm doing this as much as a mercy transfer as I am as your friend."

"As long as she's gone, I don't care."

"You said you didn't know her name, how do you expect me to process the transfer?"

As he walked out of the office, Sam looked back at Frank and said, "I'm pretty sure Andy can point her out when she sees her …"

Sam's fuse was entirely too close to being lit, he needed to calm down before he went to get Andy or _she_ would get upset and he wanted to avoid that if possible.

Sam watched the locker room door, when he was sure Andy was in there alone he went inside. She was sitting on the bench, he leaned against the wall.

"Hey."

"What happened?"

"You'll see. Come on, I wanna be the first ones in there so we can watch as they come in. As soon as you recognize her, I'll let Frank know."

"Ok."

She got up and walked over to him as he pushed away from the wall. They were holding hands by the time they got into the hall.

In the parade room, Sam sat in his usual place, the difference this morning was the brunette who stood in front of him with his arms wrapped firmly around her.

As their fellow officers slowly began to file in, Sam dropped his arms. When Nick came in and gave a nod to the empty seat next to him, Andy shook her head.

As discreetly as they could, they reached for each other's hand, holding hands as the room began to fill.

If the stiffening of Andy's body hadn't alerted him, the way she wore her uniform would have told Sam who she was. He gave Frank a nod in her direction as his arms wrapped around Andy.

He didn't really give a damn if it shocked people to see such a public display from him during parade of all times and places, all that mattered was calming the rising anxiety that was now coming off Andy in waves.

Andy couldn't _believe_ the way this chick came dressed for parade - skinny jeans so skinny they were practically _painted_ on, heels instead of her boots and she must not be able to count, because her uniform blouse wasn't buttoned all the way. Looking at her, she reminded Andy of a stripper in a police costume.

She was surprised but grateful when she felt Sam's arms go around her. She half expected Frank to bust them for being unprofessional on the clock, when he didn't she allowed herself to relax against Sam.

Between being in Sam's arms and in the same room with the whore in uniform, Andy zoned out, she almost missed hearing her assignment, "McNally, Collins you ride together. Collins, don't make Swarek go into the field after you."

It had become a running joke since they'd been separated as partners, that whoever she rode with was to protect her unless they wanted to deal with Sam … and _nobody_ wanted to do that! A firing squad held more appeal for most of the people in the division than dealing with Sam Swarek if he was worried about Andy McNally, they'd learned that even before Andy'd had her tie cut.

"Officer James, we need you to hang back here today. The rest of you, you know the drill - Serve, protect, and try not to screw up."

And with that, Frank ended parade and most of the room cleared out.

Nick stopped in front of Andy. Sam had yet to let her go.

"You planning on letting go of my partner sometime today, Sam?"

Instead of letting her go, Sam's arms tightened. Even if he _wasn't_ riding the streets with her anymore, it was common knowledge through the division that Sam and Andy still considered themselves partners. It was easier to agree than argue, and since the two men had discussed it, it had quickly become an inside joke for them, whether Sam let him take Andy out on patrol.

"You can _borrow my_ partner for a few hours … after we take care of something." Sam gave a slight nod to the rookie still sitting in her seat.

"Want me to stick around?"

"Nah, she'll meet you in the lot."

"Andy?" Nick looked at her for confirmation, she just nodded. He got the feeling he should stick around, but had gotten to know Sam well enough to know _nothing_ would happen to Andy if he was there … although he didn't envy the person on the receiving end of a pissed off Swarek! He'd heard about the hard ass Sam had been before Andy but never experienced it, but the dude was downright scary when it came to how protective he was of Andy … he put his hands on a fuckin' bomb for her, for God's sake! and if that was _any_ indication of who he _had_ been, Nick was glad he didn't know the old Sam. "Ok, Andy, I'll be at the car," and he walked away.

The parade room had emptied out with the exception of three people - four, as Frank came back in with some papers in hand. Sam smiled secretly.

It had become second nature for them, so neither was surprised to find the others hand in their own. Sam squeezed Andy's hand and smiled before they turned their attention to Frank.

"Sorry for the delay. Officer James, I don't think you've met Officer Andy McNally and Det. Sam Swarek since they returned to duty. Andy, Sam, this is Officer Mandy James."

Sam gave a small low growl when he heard her name, Andy rubbed his arm with her free hand trying to calm him, but other than that, neither of them acknowledged the rookie.

"There any reason why I'm being forced to stay _here_?" James asked.

"The outfit isn't reason enough?" Andy said under her breath.

Frank took exception to the question. As her superior officer his orders deserved respect.

"You got a problem, James?"

"Yeah, actually, I do. I wanna know why I'm stuck in here instead of being out there?"

Andy couldn't help the question, it just came out. "Which corner is that exactly? Yonge and?"

Sam laughed.

"McNally …"

"I'm sorry, sir, but she has _no_ respect for the uniform _or_ what it represents."

"And just who the hell are you?" the rookie asked. Too late, she recognized her from the bar a couple nights earlier.

"I'm the clueless girlfriend, bitch!"

"Oh my God! I'm sorry!"

Sam spoke for the first time. "Not as sorry as you're gonna be."

"And you are?" His name wasn't ringing any bells.

"The guy whose sheets you said you wanted to share …"

"Oh … my … God!"

"God ain't gonna get you outta this sweetheart."

"I am so screwed," she said more to herself than anyone else.

"And _not_ the way you wanted to be."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am!"

"Save it, sister. Your apology doesn't mean anything to me."

Amanda - Mandy - James looked at Andy for the first time. "Officer McNally …"

"WOW! Do I look _that_ dumb that I'm gonna believe you don't know who he is? Who _I_ am?"

"I'm still learning everybody's names … It was my girlfriend that said his name that night, and I've just seen you together," she tried to back pedal.

"Like Sam said, save it. Your apology _might_ mean something if I gave a damn, but at _this_ point, when it comes to you, my give a damn is busted. "

Andy felt pressure on her hand, she squeezed back to let Sam know she was ok before turning to Frank.

"Where do we go from here, Frank?"

"You and Swarek go back to the way things were - you've got a riding partner waiting and Sam has a desk - while Officer James, here, cleans out her locker."

"Clean out my locker? Why?"

"Because you're no longer a member of this Division. I won't have rookies in _my_ precinct who have _no_ respect for me or the assignments I hand out. Nor will I have someone part of this Division who tries to intentionally cause problems for other members. One of the first things you should've learned when you walked through those doors is that this Division is a family. You're supposed to be able to _trust_ your brothers and sisters in blue, not wonder if you have to use your shield to protect yourself from being stabbed in the back. So, your assignment, Officer James - pack your shit and get the hell out of my precinct!"

"Hey Frank?"

"Yeah, McNally?"

"What's the reprimand …"

"Can't reprimand something I didn't see and I didn't see anything …" and he turned his back.

Andy let go of Sam's hand and walked up to the younger woman.

"Consider this your reminder in case you ever want to try and steal somebody else's guy …" and Andy knocked her off her chair and walked out of the room.

Sam was so stunned he stood there a moment before running after Andy. He caught up to her before she got outside.

"Did you just hit a fellow uniform?"

"She's not a uniform _yet_. And you can't call _that_ a uniform anyway!"

"You still _hit _her."

"What's your point, Sam?"

"I've never seen you take a swing at _anyone_, Andy."

"Yeah, well, she pissed me off."

"So have I," he chuckled.

She tried to brush off what happened by teasing him, "So I should give myself sore knuckles _every_ time you piss me off? I'll have sore knuckles for the rest of my life!"

Sam took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Tell me you didn't hit her hard enough to do any damage …"

"Bruised knuckles, that's it."

"That's it, she say. Baby, it's enough," and he kissed her knuckles again.

Andy chuckled. "Babe, I'm ok."

"You sure?"

Andy knew he _wasn't_ asking about just her knuckles. She dropped her head to his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist while his banded her shoulders.

"I'm not sure how, but I would've … I don't know, if Frank had kept her around. But knowing she's _not_ part of the Division makes it a little easier,"

"But?"

"I'm glad she's gone."

"Me too, baby, me too."

"Where _is_ she going, anyway?"

"I told Frank I didn't give a damn if she went to 27 or he could send her ass to the Kap, I just wanted her _gone_ so I'm not sure. Now, as much as I'd love to keep you here with me, your riding partner is waiting. Tell Collins I'm sorry. I owe him a drink."

He'd tried once to walk her to the car, as if nothing had changed, like she wasn't going without him, but it had been too difficult on both of them when Sam couldn't get in - Andy had been in tears as Nick drove out - that they'd agreed he would walk her to the door and stay inside.

It was almost as hard to walk _out_ the door as it had been to get _in_ the squad car without him.

Closing the door, she _didn't_ look at Nick as she said, "Sam says he's sorry."

"You want to tell me what he's apologizing for?"

Andy ignored the question.

"Andy?"

"Everything's fine, Nick."

"If it was, Swarek wouldn't be apologizing and _you_ wouldn't look like he left you in the parking lot of the Penny in the rain."

Andy pulled out her phone and dialed Sam.

"Hey baby."

"Nick wants to talk to you."

Sam could tell by her voice something was wrong.

"McNally, what's wrong?"

"Here's Nick …"

Nick didn't get a chance to say anything before Sam growled,

"Collins, what the fuck did you do to her?!"

"Sam, calm down, I didn't _do_ anything …"

"Don't bullshit me, Collins, she does _not_ call me upset for nothin' and since _you're_ the one she said wanted to talk to me …"

"All I asked was why you were apologizing …"

"And what did she say?"

"She said everything was fine, which usually means it's not."

"So you stuck your foot in it and said what? And don't think you're _not_ gonna tell me, Collins."

"I _might've_ said if everything was fine she wouldn't look like she got left in the parking lot of the Penny in the rain …"

"You son of a bitch," Sam growled, "You did _not_ say that to her?"

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be when I get my hands on you. How could you _say_ something like that? You're riding with her, you're _supposed_ to have her back … not make her wish she still had me with her! Christ! Bring it back to the barn. She's done. I'll clear it with Frank for you to ride solo the rest of the day."

"But Sam …"

"No buts, Collins, get your ass back here."

"Yes, sir."

"Good, now, gimme my girlfriend."

Nick handed the phone back as he pulled a U-turn and headed back to the station.

Andy looked at Nick in confusion as he handed her back the phone.

"Sam, what's going on? Nick just pulled a U-ie."

She rolled her shoulders hoping to get rid of _some_ of the tension. Not that it did a lot of good when she heard Sam say,

"Let's just say he has a date with one of his senior officers."

Andy had visions of re-training.

"Sam!"

"I'm not gonna hurt him, McNally. We just need to talk."

"Promise?"

Sam couldn't help but laugh.

"Promise. Listen baby, I gotta go. I'll see you when you get back here."

Andy surveyed their surroundings before telling Sam, "We're about 5 minutes out," and hanging up.


	21. Chapter 21

Sam looked up at the sound of the knock on his door.

"Sam …"

"Get your ass in here Collins and shut the door."

"Yes sir."

Nick walked into the office and shut the door.

"You gonna let me explain before you tear a strip off me?"

"What the fuck were you thinkin', man? _Were_ you thinkin' when you brought _that_ night up? Christ! You, of all people know what she went through!"

"You're right, I _do_ know. I was there, I lived it with her because you weren't there. Listen, man, I thought we got past this. Hell, I thought that was why _you_ requested we get partnered …"

"It _is_, or it _was_ until you …"

"Come on, Sam, you know she's like a sister to me, I would _never_ do anything to hurt her."

"Except remind her of one of the worst nights of her life …"

"Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you, but you're _not_ perfect, Sam … just perfect for her. Because I'll let you in on a little secret, faults and all, you're all that matters to her."

"She tell you that?"

"During one of our 'Breakup Buddy' sessions, yeah … I'm assuming she told you about that?"

Sam nodded.

"She was _supposed_ to be telling me all the things that drove her crazy and she was glad she didn't have to put up with anymore - instead, all I heard was how much she _missed_ those things …"

"What things?"

"You may drive her crazy, but lemme tell ya, she won't say a bad thing about you. And during those 6 weeks? She wouldn't let anyone _else_ say anything either. She defended you. Even when asked to explain if you were so great, why you bailed on her and she couldn't explain why you broke her heart … Somebody made the mistake of trying to bad mouth you. She threatened to lay them out."

Sam smiled. He woulda liked to have seen _that_, especially in light of what happened after parade.

"I may be dating Gail, but man, your girlfriend is the reason I feel like I'm _part of_ this Division - she doesn't let people in easily, thanks to you, she let _me_ in … "

Looking at the younger man in front of him, Sam got up and walked around to lean against his desk.

"I _can't_ let her go out there thinking she's alone. She's not. She never has been, she never _will_ be, but her insecurities run deep. Too deep sometimes. Right now she trusts me to trust you … and I do or she wouldn't be out there, but … any time I think I can't, I'll haul your ass back in here …"

"I know that, Sam … and I understand, man, I do. I knew going into this you'd chew my ass out if you thought I dropped the ball. Hell, if the roles were reversed I'd probably feel the same. I'm not sure I could watch her ride with someone I didn't trust."

"I'm tellin' you this because you're her riding partner and you need to know what's going on, but this stays between us, I find out you discussed this with her, I break the promise I made her that you wouldn't get hurt … Got it? It's over. It's been dealt with. I don't want her upset again."

"What happened?"

"The Penny Friday night. When we celebrated with drinks her being back on the streets?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"The rookie with the shall we say, less than practical uniform …"

"That's _one_ way to put it," Nick laughed.

"Remember when Andy went to the bathroom?"

"Yeah. She came back and you couldn't get her outta there fast enough."

"Yeah, well, the rookie made a helluva first impression …"

Meaning?"

"She was in there with one of her fellow rookies and yours truly was the topic of discussion."

"I'm almost afraid to ask what was said."

"That I'm fooling around on her and that the entire Division knows."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, that ain't all …"

"There's _more_?"

"Yeah, she made a point of sayin' how she wouldn't mind bein' the one …"

"Ah, hell ... No wonder I hit a nerve …"

"Yeah. We'd just watched Frank tell her to clean out her locker because she was no longer part of the Division, then _I_ got to watch as Andy knocked her off her chair …"

"Andy?!"

"Yep."

"God, Sam, she wouldn't talk to me …"

"Now you know _why_ …"

"Can I ask you somethin'?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you deck me when I walked in?"

"Because I promised her all I wanted to do was talk to you."

"Your apology … Christ! Sam, _I'm_ the one that needs to apologize …"

Sam held out his hand, "What'd ya say we call it even today?"

Nick shook the offered hand. "Done. About Andy …"

"We're done for the day. I'm taking her home."

"Can I talk to her before I head back out?"

"As long as you don't mention …"

"No, man, I want to apologize for what I said."

Sam smiled at the younger man. "Why don't you apologize over drinks after shift?"

"I'm buyin' …"

"Damn straight you are."

Nick laughed. "So we're good?"

"Yeah, we're good."

They left Sam's office together. Sam going in search of Andy, Nick back to the squad car to finish shift.

Sam found her sitting in the bullpen staring off into space.

He walked up behind her and kissed her cheek. She jumped slightly and Sam chuckled.

"Sorry. You ready to get outta here?"

"Where's Nick?"

"Back on patrol. With everything that went down with James after parade, when you and Collins came back to the barn Frank gave us the rest of the day off. Told me to take you home."

He half expected her to put up a fight and was surprised when she leaned into him for a second before she hopped off the desk and said, "Let's go."

Outside, instead of opening her door, Sam dropped the tailgate and lifted a surprised Andy to sit on it. Sam stood in front of her with his hands braced on both sides of her hips.

"You weren't in the bullpen back there, so you wanna tell me where you were?"

"You didn't hurt him … did you?"

"I promised you I wouldn't, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"But ya don't believe me?"

"It's not that …"

"One of us decking a fellow uniform is enough for one day, don'tcha think?"

Andy gave him a small smile.

"You can see for yourself that there's no bruises when we meet him at the Penny for drinks after shift."

"We're goin' to the Penny tonight?"

"I don't know about you, but after the morning we've had, I could use a drink and some down time with friends."

"You _could_ invite Oliver over for poker … you haven't done that since I moved in …"

"McNally, this is Monday, poker night is _Wednesday_ … and I think I'm busy this Wednesday …"

"Doing what?"

"Spending time on the couch … with you."

"Sam! We promised him a poker night at the house …"

"Baby, the only one I wanna play one-on-one with is you, not with Ollie and a stack of poker chips."

"So get somebody else for your third."

"Like who? Epstein? Forget it, he is _not_ settin' foot in our house …"

"Sam, that's not nice …"

"Wait a minute … _you_ play …"

"Uh, babe, it's called _guys night_ for a reason …"

"You're gonna be there anyway …"

"I am?"

"What d'ya think?"

"I thought I'd spend the night at Traci's …"

"Nope, you're not there, there's no poker night. I'm not running you outta the house."

"You're _not_ running me out of the house … I _offered_ to leave …"

"No."

"But Traci never stayed when it was at Jerry's …"

_That_ was Jerry and Traci, _not_ me and you. Even if you _don't_ play, you're still gonna be there, so you might as well play. Show Ollie the kinda poker player your dad taught you to be."

"Not afraid I'll take all your money?" Andy grinned at him.

Sam laughed. "I think I'll risk it."

"We can't play you and me against Oliver, that's not fair. We need a fourth."

"Who you got in mind?"

"Nick."

"Does he even play?"

"I don't know, but he can't be any worse than Jerry …"

They laughed, remembering the night of the quarantine. When they'd been listening to Chris talk to 'Blue Guy' while Jerry, Ollie and a couple other guys played in the background. He and Ollie had been razzing Jerry for losing his pay. They hadn't expected McNally to call him an amateur then proceed to lay down what Jerry _should_ have played.

"Alright, we'll ask him tonight."

Andy kissed him. "Thank you. I know he's not your favorite person right now …"

"We'll survive."

"In case I haven't told you lately, I love you, Sam Swarek."

I love you too. You wanna go home or just drive around for awhile?"

"You mentioned something about a couch …"

Sam stood back and motioned for her to jump if she was ready to go. Andy jumped off the tailgate and landed squarely in front of Sam.

"Hi."

"Hi … you ready to go home?"

Andy put her arm around Sam's waist as he turned her towards the front of the truck.

She hadn't been sleeping well since Friday night so he wasn't surprised when she crashed in the cab before they got half way home. When she didn't wake up as he killed the engine, he unbuckled her belt before getting out. Opening her door, he laughed to himself, this was becoming habit. He laid her on the couch and went to make a pot of coffee.

Andy woke up and looked around, not quite sure how she got home.

Sam came in carrying two coffees. She sat up so he could join her on the couch. He handed her, her cup as he sat down.

"Thank you. How long was I out?"

"You're welcome. Not long."

He put his arm around her and she rested her head against his shoulder.

"As exhausted as you are, maybe I shouldn't be feeding you caffeine, you need to sleep."

Andy set her cup on the table before Sam stretched her out so she was laying down again, this time using him as a pillow.

"Go back to sleep, we got lots of time before the end of shift."

"What're you gonna do?" she asked on a yawn.

Sam leaned down and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Sit here and watch you … Now, close your eyes, McNally, and go to sleep."

Andy woke up a few hours later, still on the couch, still with her head in Sam's lap. She rolled onto her back so she was looking up at him.

"Hey."

"Hey … How'd ya sleep?"

"Ok …"

"What?"

"Nothin'."

"Baby, don't do that. What's wrong?"

"I just woke up and I'm _still_ tired."

"That's because you haven't slept much the last couple of nights."

"Sam, we didn't get up til noon yesterday …"

"Yeah, after gettin' home at 2 a.m. … and you _didn't_ sleep for 10 hours so don't bother tryin' to sell me that you did … _my_ arms were around you … remember?"

"Anybody ever tell you, you worry too much?"

"About you? Nope, sorry, not possible … You wanna go crawl in bed for a couple more hours? We got time before we head to the Penny."

"Babe, if I sleep _all_ day I'm _not _gonna sleep tonight and I work tomorrow."

Sam laughed, remembering when she'd had to work hung over, he wouldn't put Collins through that.


	22. Chapter 22

They sat down at the Penny just as the doors opened and the rest of 15 flooded in.

Traci, Nick and the others made their way to the tables that had been pulled together to make room for everyone.

When Oliver walked in, Sam got up and went to the bar.

"Hey brother."

"Hey Sammy, surprised to see you alone."

Sam nodded toward the 'rookie table'. They hadn't been rookies in 2 years, but since they hadn't changed tables, choosing to still sit together, it was still labeled their rookie table, not that any of them minded because anyone was welcome to pull up a chair … anyone but the new rookies, they had their own table.

"Just came to see what you were doin' Wednesday night …"

"Sounds like I got plans. McNally ok with this?"

"About that …"

"What is it, brother? If you're gonna ask if I have a problem with her bein' there, you know I don't. Hell, I _expect_ her to be there, knowing you."

"But how do you feel about dealin' her in?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

Hot damn, brother! I been _dyin'_ to get her in on a game since quarantine …"

"Figured that, but I had to ask. Took _a lot_ of convincing to get her to agree. She thinks because it's always been 'guys night' and because Traci always left when it was at Jerry's, she's not welcome."

"Like hell she isn't. You can tell her I said that too!"

"Why don't you tell her yourself?"

"You sure?"

"She needs to hear it from more than just me, man."

"Ok. We got a fourth?"

"She wants to see if Collins'll play."

"Collins?"

"I know, brother, I know. I don't know if he plays either. Hell, I think she's hoping he _doesn't_ so she can take his money."

"That's mean."

"This is the woman who called Jerry an amateur, brother," Sam chuckled.

"Oh that's right, she did," Oliver smiled at the memory. "Need me to bring anything?"

"Yourself. We'll take care of everything else. Oh, you want pizza, Chinese or Chalet?"

"_Not a chance_."

Both men turned at the sound of Andy's voice.

Andy stood next to Sam, Oliver hid a smile as they automatically wrapped an arm around each other's waist.

"You got somethin' against take-out, McNally?"

"I do if I'm cookin'."

Sam had turned back to Oliver when he'd asked if Andy had a problem with take-out and now turned to look at her again.

It wasn't a question of _if_ she could cook, he knew firsthand how _well_ she could. Most nights they cooked together, but one night a week they cooked for each other.

"Y'know you don't _have_ to, we _can_ get take-out."

I _want_ to."

Sam knew there was no arguing with her, not when she took that tone.

"Did you talk to Collins?"

"Not yet … Wanted to make sure …"

"Move your ass, Sammy, I need to talk to your girl."

Sam shook his head, smiled and stood up. Grinning at Oliver, Andy sat on the barstool Sam had vacated, within seconds of switching places, their arms were back around each other's waists.

"McNally …"

"Yes, Oliver."

"I'm gonna let you in on the worst kept secret of 15 … that guy over there," he motioned to Sam, "absolutely adores you, has for the better part of 3 years."

Sam shook his head and Andy laughed.

"Now I've known my brother here for over 15 years and let me tell you, I've _never_ seen him as happy as he's been since you came into the picture."

"You got a point, brother?" Sam asked amused.

"You just stand there, Sammy, this is between me and McNally."

Andy had to wonder how much he'd had to drink already, though he _seemed_ stone cold sober.

"Now, I'm not sayin' this to scare you, but in all the years I've known him, I've _never_ known my brother to be as serious about someone as he is about you. You're a part of him.

I don't think he'll argue with me if I said you were the _best_ part of him."

Sam stood there shaking his head. If he didn't know him as well as he did, he'd think Ollie was plastered, but he was stone cold sober!

"Now Sammy and I just made plans for poker night this Wednesday. What's this I hear about you thinkin' you're not welcome in your own home?

Do you have _any_ idea how miserable he'd be if you _weren't_ there? He'd be a lovesick puppy. You wouldn't do that to me now would you McNally? Make me suffer through an unhappy Sammy?

Besides, you shouldn't just be sittin' there holdin' Sammy's hand and lookin' cute. Considerin' the way you called Jerry an amateur the night of the quarantine, you oughtta be at the table with us. I won't even object if you hold Sammy's hand at the table!"

"Oliver, how much've you had to drink?"

Liam chose that moment to set Oliver's drink down.

"First one of the night, McNally."

Andy wasn't sure what to make of Oliver's little 'speech.'

"Oh, and in case you're wondering, Jerry'd say the same thing about our boy here. He'd also be the first to offer his seat at the table so you could play. What d'ya say, McNally, you gonna join the party Wednesday night?"

"You ever let a girl crash 'guys night' before Oliver?"

"First time for everything, McNally."

"I can't."

"What d'you mean, you can't?"

"I'll go to Traci's after shift Wednesday and catch a ride with her Thursday morning."

"Like hell you will."

"Hear that, McNally? That tone right there, that tells me my brother'll _cancel_ plans for this and any _future_ poker nights if they don't include you. As your superior officer on the clock, I am _not_ above ordering you to be there, Wednesday. As your future brother-in-law, well, I'm not above tyin' your ass to a chair."

Andy couldn't help but laugh.

Oliver's brother-in-law comment didn't miss either of them, but they let it slide without comment.

"Brother we're cops, we _do_ have handcuffs … can't be givin' her rope burn when we can just cuff her ankles to the chair legs …"

Andy looked at Sam in shock only to find him laughing.

"Have I told you lately you're evil?"

"Not since your rookie days, actually."

"Threatening to handcuff your girlfriend to a chair …"

"Ah, but she knows I wouldn't do that to her, just like I know I wouldn't … I _won't_ … have to!"

"McNally, you _are_ gonna be there Wednesday night, and while I have no problem with you holdin' my brother's hand, I draw the line at you sittin' in his lap! Can't have you lookin' at each other's cards."

"Brother she won't be _in_ my lap _while_ we're playin' or the only thing I'll be playin' with is her."

Andy's eyes shot to Sam and she blushed. "Sam!"

"What? It's true … and you know it."

Oliver laughed.

"In case I haven't mentioned it, McNally, you're good for my brother, here. He's almost _always_ smilin', he laughs more. Hell, he's _happy_. Happier than we've probably _ever_ seen him. It's a good sight to see, so thank you. Jerry and I figured out early on, his mood depends on you. Personally and professionally. He's relaxed … unless he's worried about you. And let me tell ya, dealin' with a Sammy that's worried about you, is _no_ walk in the park! He's pretty unbearable, actually, but, not nearly as unbearable as when you two aren't gettin' along, _that_ is a Sammy even _I_ don't wanna be around … Sorry, brother, but it's true, as great as you two were in uniform together, it doesn't hold a candle to how great you are here, like this."

By now Sam had moved to stand behind Andy and she was leaning against him. She felt the rumble of his laughter before they heard it.

He leaned to whisper in her ear, "He's been waitin' to say that for awhile."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"It's Ollie. His heart's in the right place and it's comin' from the heart, so, I'll give him a free pass this time. Hey! You need to go talk to your ridin' partner before him and Gail head out if you still want him there Wednesday. Go, then get yourself back here. I'm not sharin' you with the rookies anymore tonight."

Andy laughed as she slid off the barstool. "Ok. Oliver, keep him in line, I'll be right back." She kissed Sam as she walked past him.

Oliver scoffed. "Not my job, McNally."

Andy grinned as she made her way back to the table. She was in luck, there was an empty seat next to Nick.

"Hey partner."

"Hey yourself," Nick replied.

"Other half let you out of his sight for a minute?" he asked looked over Andy's shoulder to find Sam watching her. Nick laughed, "Or not. What's up?"

"What're you doing Wednesday night?"

"Nothin' that I know of, why?"

"Sam and Oliver are having a poker night. It _used to be_ 'guys night' but Sam is _insisting_ I be there, and by insisting I mean he threatened to call it off if I'm _not_, and I was wondering if you played and would like to join us …"

"You settin' me up, Andy?"

Andy raised an eyebrow as she grinned and said, "Hey! Would I do that to my Breakup Buddy?" … You _do_ play, right?"

"A little, yeah."

"Good enough. Wednesday. Our house …"

"You ready?" came from behind her.

Andy smiled as Sam put his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him.

"As soon as you tell Nick what time to be at the house."

"Shift is over at 5, considering I don't know what you're making or how long it takes …"

"Food'll be ready whenever you want it."

"In _that_ case, make it 6, we'll feed Ollie _before_ I take his money."

Andy laughed. "Who said _you're _takin' his money?"

"We'll see Wednesday which one of us takes his money. I _can_ promise one of us _will_ come out on top. Collins, how well do you know your way around a game of Texas Hold 'Em?"

"I can hold my own."

"Good, I don't want you bitchin' Thursday you got taken for a ride."

Nick laughed. "No sir."

"Good."

Sam's cell phone rang. Fishing it out of his pocket he checked the caller I.D.

"Hey Sis."

Sam listened for a couple of seconds before handing the phone to Andy.

"She wants your number."

"Hey Sarah …"

A few minutes later Andy handed Sam his phone as she looked at Nick, "See ya tomorrow."

"You got it. Night Sam."

"Collins."

When they got home Andy headed straight for the kitchen, curious to know what was going on, Sam was right behind her.

"What … are … you … doin'?"

"Planning."

"You _know_ it's just a pizza & beer kind of night … right?"

"I know."

"So what're you planning?"

"Something simple, something easy, but more than just a delivery."

Sam pulled her back against him and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You _know_ you don't have to try and impress Ollie … or Collins, right?"

Andy turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his waist.

"I'm not doing it to impress them …"

"Then why?"

Andy leaned up and kissed him. "You."

"Baby, you don't need to impress _me_. I would adore you even if you _couldn't_ cook."

"I was thinkin' if you want to stay with 'pizza and beer' I could do a pizza casserole, we just gotta hit the store on Wednesday."

"Make anything you want, just don't think you _have_ to!"

"I know I don't _have_ to, I _want_ to, it gives me an excuse to cook for you."

Sam kissed her before leaning his forehead against hers.

"Hey, what's goin' on with you and my sister? Why does she suddenly need your number?"

"Hmmmm?"

"You … My sister … Why does she suddenly need _your_ number? The _only_ time she doesn't want to talk to me, is when she's up to something and now that she has you to help get into trouble …"

"Hate to bruise your ego babe, but we're not up to anything. She's updating her emergency contact info and wanted my number in case they can't get a hold of you."

"_Why_ is my sister updating her info?"

"Sam, stop, she's fine …"

"Bullshit. What happened to my sister that she didn't tell me?!"

"Nothing's _happened_. That's the point. This is in case something does. She said she's been thinkin' about this since the night she met Traci. Said she knew if they couldn't get a hold of you, they could get a hold of me and _I_ could get you."

Hearing his sister was in fact ok, Sam relaxed a little as he said, "You already _got_ me, McNally."

As he'd hoped, she blushed.

"She also wanted to give me somebody _other_ than Traci to talk to."

"That's it?"

"That's it … Oh, it also gives me somebody to bounce ideas off for your birthday, for Christmas, for our anniversary …"

"Which anniversary is that? We have the anniversary of when you tackled me … When we became partners … Gabe and Edie … When you showed up at the Alpine … Our suspensions … Finally getting together _after_ our suspensions …"

"All days worth remembering, well, with the exception of the first one …"

"Oh no, baby, _that_ is a day we're _never_ gonna forget."

Andy looked up at Sam, "Still mad at me?"

"Baby, I was never mad at you, it's just automatic for me to worry about Sarah. Too used to it just bein' the two of us, I guess. I'm sorry."

Andy kissed his cheek. "Don't be. You've worried about her since you were 9 years old, it's part of who you are."

"I honestly don't remember what it feels like _not_ to worry about her … or _you_ for that matter. And I'm pretty sure I could make money bettin' on the fact that you'll hear _all_ about it Wednesday night."

Andy laughed. She'd never tell Sam, but after Oliver's little speech tonight she was curious to hear what _else_ he had to say.

"So what do we need for Wednesday?"

"We'll hit the Beer Store on the way home for a 2-4, then we'll swing by the grocery store and get whatever you need for supper … we need to make a list or anything?"

"Nope. If you're ok with pizza casserole, I know exactly what I need."

"Fine by me."

"Ok."

"You ready for bed or you want to watch T.V. for awhile?"

"As crazy as it sounds, considering how much I slept today, I'm exhausted."

Sam turned her in his arms and with his hands still on her waist, started walking in the direction of the door.

"Then let's get you upstairs."


	23. Chapter 23

Sam reached over and shut the alarm off. He was ready to get this day started and get it over with. Tonight's game was going to be bittersweet. He was looking forward to having Andy there, but this was the first game since Jerry … Christ! He missed him. It was ironic how life went on as if a life hadn't been lost. As hard as it was going to be without him, they owed it to Jerry's memory to keep poker night going.

He looked over at Andy, surprised she hadn't woke up with the alarm … only to find the bed empty. Huh? How did she manage to sneak out of bed? Usually if they moved, the other knew and was awake.

Sam turned at the sound of the bedroom door opening. Andy walked in. He sat up as she sat on the edge of the bed and handed him the cup she'd brought with her.

"Thanks."

He set the cup on the night stand and took her hand.

"How long've you been up?"

"Long enough to make coffee."

"How did you manage that without me waking up?"

"You did. I just waited until you went back to sleep before I actually got _out_ of bed."

"Why?"

Because I'm pretty sure you didn't get much sleep last night … you wanna tell me what's botherin' you? Or do I even need to ask?"

"Probably not."

"Babe, we don't _have_ to do this, y'know. If you're not ready I'm sure Oliver will understand."

Sam pulled her up into his arms. Andy put her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Sam kissed her temple as he said, "Yeah, baby, we do, because the longer we wait, the easier it's gonna be _not_ to do it … and Jerry would _want_ us to go ahead with it, so we will. Probably should've done it long before now, but …"

"It's not the same without him."

"Yeah."

They laid there for a few minutes, Sam played with the hem of his shirt that she had put on.

"You want some breakfast?"

"No, thanks. As much as I'd rather stay right here, like this, all day, we gotta hit the shower and get ready to go or we're gonna be late."

They got up and showered together, and made it to the station in time for parade.

Any other time, they would consider days like today boring, not today, they were grateful for the lack of activity both on the street and at the station. Soon Nick was pulling into the station bringing their shift to an end.

Sam was waiting for her at the locker room.

"I'm just gonna change, I'll shower at home after I get supper in the oven."

"Ok."

Arms around each other's waist, they headed for the truck and the store before heading home.

They hit the Beer Store first, Andy was surprised when Sam opened her door so she could get out. She thought she'd wait in the truck, he had other ideas. They got a couple 2-4s but skipped a trip to the LCBO since they had hard stuff in the liquor cabinet at home.

The grocery store took longer than it should've, Andy was sure they would've _still_ been there if she hadn't reminded Sam she needed to take a shower _before_ Oliver and Nick showed up and the longer they spent at the store, the less chance he had of "helping" her in the shower.

Sam sat at the island and watched as she got everything ready. He had offered to help and been flat out refused. She had then told him to sit at the island and leave her be.

It was hard to be so close to her and keep his hands to himself, but he did as she asked and stayed out of her way.

Andy could feel Sam's eyes on her, watching her every move. When she finally got it in the oven she stood in front of Sam.

"Ok, we've got about half an hour before that's ready to come out of the oven, both Oliver and Nick _should_ be here roughly around that time."

Giving Sam a kiss she took his hand and said, "So I've got roughly 20 minutes to shower, get dressed and do my hair."

"Then let's get you showered."

It had become habit since her nightmares for them to shower together. After they were done and they were both dressed, Sam sat her down and brushed Andy's hair out.

They were just walking back downstairs when the doorbell rang. Sam kissed her cheek as he said, "I'll get the door, you look after the oven."

The first thing Oliver said as he walked in was, "Somethin' smells good," before heading for the living room.

"Beer? Or you want to wait til Collins gets here?" The doorbell rang.

"You get the beers, brother, I'll get the door."

Sam nodded and headed for the kitchen.

Walking up behind Andy, he gave her a kiss and said, "They're here."

"Ok, it's just about ready. You wanna eat in here or …"

"There is _no_ way Shaw is eating in our living room. We'll never get it clean. You'd be calling Sarah to re-decorate …"

"Kitchen it is, then. Just give me a few minutes to set the table …"

"Let me get Shaw and Collins their beers and I'll come set it, you've done enough."

Andy smiled. "Ok."

As soon as he had the table set, Sam yelled at Oliver asking if he was hungry, his response showed up in the kitchen. Both Sam and Andy laughed.

Nick gave Andy a hug in greeting before he sat down.

She was about to get supper out of the oven when Sam came up behind her. He set a beer on the counter.

"Go sit down. I'll get it," he whispered.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

She took the beer and walked to the table. Sam was a couple steps behind her. He set the dish within everyone's reach.

Sam and Andy sat side-by-side, holding hands. The _only_ thing that kept him sitting Andy in his lap was not wanting to embarrass her … though he couldn't make any promises as the night went on.

"Sammy, you got yourself one helluva cook, brother. McNally, that was great, thank you."

Andy smiled. "Thank you … You're welcome."

She got up and starting clearing the table.

"Sit down, woman."

"Sam, it's fine."

"No, it's not. Now sit your cute little ass back down before _I_ sit you down!"

Oliver's jaw dropped. He'd _never_ seen Sammy like this, _ever_.

"You cooked, you _don't_ clean. you know the rules."

Nick got up when Andy finally sat back down, plate in hand. "Dishwasher? Sink?"

"Sink," Sam replied.

"Supper was great, thank you. Sam's right. You relax, we'll clean up. Sam, you want to show me where everything is? I'll wash, Shaw can dry, you can put everything where it actually belongs."

Andy watched as the guys worked together cleaning up the kitchen. Laughing at the interaction between the three _grown_ men. If she didn't know better she'd swear they were brothers - including Nick!

They'd managed to keep things light, but as Sam set out the cards and chips Andy could feel the change in Sam. She reached for his hand and nodded toward the living room, Sam took her hand and followed.

Andy stopped and turned so that when Sam came up to her she was already in his arms. Wrapping hers around his waist she asked, "You ready for this?"

"I don't know."

"Don't get mad at me …"

"McNally …"

"I think before we get started we should have a shot in Jerry's memory."

"You serious?"

"Yeah. That way he's still here, still part of poker night …"

Sam kissed her.

"How can I be mad at you for even _offering_ to do that?"

"Sam, he was your _best_ friend."

"We're off the clock, McNally, we're in _our_ home … _you_ ready for this?"

"Define _this_, Sam."

"Like I said, we're off the clock … I don't _have_ to keep my hands to myself …"

"Good, 'cause I can't promise I will either …"

"When was the last time I told you I love you?"

Andy's eyes danced playfully. "I don't remember …"

"Can't have you forgettin' _that_, woman!"

Andy laughed as Sam kissed her and said, "I love you."

"I love you."

"Hey, you two! You can find a room … or the couch later. I'm here to play poker."

They laughed at Oliver but made their way back to the kitchen.

On their way past the liquor cabinet, Sam grabbed the bottle of Patrón.

Sam set the bottle on the table while Andy grabbed the shot glasses. She placed a single empty shot glass on the table before handing 4 to Sam. Sam filled the glasses and passed them around.

When Andy would've sat on the chair beside him, Sam wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.

"Hey brother, I said she _wasn't_ allowed to sit in your lap while we were playin'."

"We're _not_ playin' yet."

Oliver looked at the shots, at the empty glass and finally at Sam.

"What's goin' on, man?"

Sam took a deep breath to gather his emotions. Looking at Oliver he said,

"Poker night has _always_ been you, me and Jerry. I don't know about you, brother, but I miss him. In a way it feels wrong to do this without him, but my girl here came up with a way to keep him part of poker night - start it off with a shot in his memory. So, if you would, raise a glass,"

They all raised their shots.

" God knows he wasn't the world's best poker player but he _was_ one of 15s best detectives and one of my best friends - here's to you, Jer. I love you, man, I miss you."

A single tear rolled down Oliver's cheek. "To Jerry."

Andy blinked back tears as she raised her glass.

They threw their drinks back together.

Andy got up and took the seat next to Sam. He set the bottle of Patron aside and got up to get another round of beers from the fridge.

Sitting back down, Sam took Andy's hand as they cut the deck to see who would deal first - Oliver won the honors.

First hand was more or less to shake the dust off. Small bets, no trash talk, Nick held his own.

Second hand the joy of poker night returned for both Oliver _and_ Sam.

Sam and Andy were constantly touching. They stole glances at each other when the game allowed. He teased her about her ability to play.

By the third hand poker night was feelin' the way poker night should. Nick held his own until Andy got in the game, then it didn't take him long to fold. He was soon joined by Sam who had decided it was worth losing the hand if it meant he got to watch Andy take Ollie on.

The moment he folded, Sam leaned over to steal a kiss and see what Andy was hiding in the hole.

"Hey, no helping your girl, brother."

Knowing what she had, he wondered what Ollie had.

They didn't disappoint.

Andy played him _all_ the way through the turn and down the river.

Oliver'd been sure he could win the hand with the pair he had in the hole added to what was in the river.

Little did he know that Andy had a pair of ladies in the hole, add them to the one that was swimming in the river with a pair of jacks and she had a full house, Queens high.

Oliver called and turned his cards over. His jaw dropped when Andy revealed a pair of ladies.

Sam laughed. "Brother, I do believe she just handed you your ass."

"The night's young, brother, the night is young."

"But _you're_ not."

A soft "Ouch!" came from Andy. Sam winked at her.

She excused herself to use the bathroom kissing Sam as she left, knowing Nick would have the cards dealt and waiting for her when she got back.

She had no sooner sat back down and Sam was reaching for her hand. Without thought she entwined her fingers through his as she looked at him and smiled.

"You gonna check your cards or not Andy? Just because _your_ bed is upstairs doesn't mean some of us don't have to go home and I'd like to do it this _year_. You 'n Sam can make eyes at each other later."

Sam laughed.

"Hot date with Gail later?"

Andy asked as she threw her money in.

"Does it matter?"

"If it affects your ability to play? Hell yes it matters!"

Nick raised an eyebrow at Sam in question. Sam folded, too intrigued by the woman beside him and her breakup buddy now riding partner. Sam got Oliver's attention and gave him a nod to let them fight it out.

He could've stayed in until the big blind but Oliver chose to follow suit and like Sam, folded right out of the gate.

"Remember what I asked when you invited me to this?"

"Yeah."

"Are you?"

"Don't trust me?"

Sam let go of her hand and pulled her chair closer, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Do I have the right _not_ to answer that question, Sam? I ride with her, of course I trust her on the clock … just not sure I should at a poker table."

Both Sam and Oliver laughed.

"Sorry, man, you ain't puttin' me in the doghouse."

"Afraid of your girlfriend, Swarek?"

"Uh, Collins …" Oliver tried to interject.

Sam was enjoying himself too much to let the comment bother him.

"If you thought she was settin' you up, why'd you _show_ up?"

"Trust me, I'm askin' myself the same thing!"

"Quit your bitchin' Collins. It's me 'n you … I'll let you leave with your pride intact, I promise."

He wasn't dumb enough to put an entire pay on the line, though Andy _did_ raise the stakes higher than what would be considered a _friendly_ wager and he had no choice but to ante up or fold since it was just the two of them. He wasn't about to fold and give her the satisfaction of running him outta the game, but damn, his instincts were tellin' him he was bein' played by his _partner_!

It _wasn't_ the ideal hand, but since she wasn't _completely_ dependent upon the cards she had in the hole, Andy risked a higher bet than she had cards for. Nick, ya gotta love him, came along for the ride.

Since he wasn't playing, Sam let himself play with Andy, not enough to distract her, just enough to let her know he was there. Oliver sat watching Sam a little in shock at the changes a certain rookie had made in his friend. He had always _hoped_ Sam would find this happiness, but if he was honest, he was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen.

Nick called with absolutely nothing in the hole and not much help from the river, considering her big blind, Nick was stunned when Andy turned her cards and _didn't_ have something.

"Sam, check her pockets, see if she's hidin' somethin' for me, will ya?"

"As much as I would _love_ to, I can tell ya that's all she's got. She kicked your ass with _nothin'_."

Andy surprised them all by dealing herself out.

Sam looked at her. "You ok?"

Andy smiled. "I'm fine."

"Then _why_ aren't you playin'? You've cleaned up twice tonight."

She got up and sat in his lap. "_This_ is why. Oliver said I can't sit in your lap _and_ play, so …"

"McNally, behave!" Sam raised an eyebrow at his friend.

When Andy would've got up, Sam tightened the arm around her waist and whispered in her ear, "Stay."

Andy turned her head to look at Sam, remembering the first time he'd asked her to stay at the undercover apartment, Sam remembered too and smiled.

"Ok," she said softly.

Sam kissed her lightly.

"Are you in or out, Sam? And quit makin' out with my partner."

Sam and Andy looked at each other and laughed.

"I'm in … and how many time do you have to be told Collins? She's _my_ partner!"

Andy checked Sam's beer, "Anybody want a refill?"

Sam relaxed his hold enough for her to get up.

She returned to the table with 3 beers. Sam pulled her back into his lap as she laughed.

Oliver folded on the small blind preferring to watch Sam in action.

"Looks like it's just you 'n me, Collins … think you can handle it?"

"I survived your girlfriend …"

"Man, we gotta get you some glasses. Didn't think I'd have to point out the obvious - I'm _not_ McNally."

Andy took a drink of the beer she'd brought for Sam, kissed his cheek and slipped off his lap.

"Where d'you think you're going?"

"Outside for a minute."

Sam stood up. "I'll be right back. If you know what's good for either of you, you won't touch those cards."

Sam leaned back against the house and pulled Andy into his arms. She wrapped hers around his waist."

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Come on baby, talk to me."

"Babe, I'm fine."

"Did Ollie upset you?"

"No."

"Andy …"

"Sam, he didn't. Go back inside, finish the game. I'll be in, in a minute."

"You sure?"

She rubbed her hands up his back as she said, "Yeah."

"If you're not back in my lap in 5 minutes …"

Andy smiled. "I'll be there."

She was leaning against the house, her foot braced against the wall when she heard the door open. At first she thought it was Sam coming to get her.

"McNally?"

"Right here."

Oliver walked over to join her.

"I'm sorry."

"Did Sam send you out to apologize?"

"He _might've_ lit into me slightly. But after all these years, a pissed off Sammy is nothin' new. This relaxed, playful Sammy is though. I meant what I said at the Penny - you're good for him."

Andy smiled into the darkness. She hadn't expected the conversation Sam warned her would come to happen outside in the dark.

"So if _I'm_ not the reason you're out here hiding, what is?"

"I'm not hiding Oliver. I was sittin' there listening to Sam and Nick and I couldn't help but think of the quarantine and wonder if that's the way guys night with Jerry _used_ to be.

I knew I couldn't sit there because Sam would pick up on it and he's having such a good time I don't want to spoil it with reminders of Jerry and what used to be and never will be again.

We went to the cemetery last weekend, when he called and said we weren't goin' to the Penny. We were there for a good hour at least while he talked to Jerry.

I've never seen him cry, Oliver, but he cried while he talked to Jerry.

I don't think I've ever felt so helpless in my life because I didn't know what to do for him."

"McNally, you were there, that's what matters. Trust me, he wouldn't've opened up like that with _anyone_ other than you.

I don't know how much you know about his past relationships …"

"She knows about my history, brother, and the fact that my sister is the _only_ other woman who's _ever_ heard me say _I love you_."

"How'm I supposed to talk to your girl with you listening?"

"I didn't hear why _she's_ out here, just the last part where you said I've never opened up with anyone like I do with her."

"That's _not_ what I said … but it _is_ what I meant.

It's good to finally see you two together, the way you're meant to be. McNally, don't take me serious if I tell you to get off his lap or any of that, before you, that _wasn't_ Sammy so it's too cute for me _not_ to tease you about it."

I _know_ I speak for Jerry when I say this is a Sammy we only _hoped_ we'd see one day, a Sammy that we'll gladly put up with for the rest of our lives. You know I love you, brother."

Sam smiled as Oliver walked up to him. "I love you too, brother."

Oliver went inside as Sam stepped in front of Andy and braced his hands on the wall as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Your 5 minutes were up a _long_ time ago, woman."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You gonna come back inside so I can kick your buddy's ass again?"

"Again?"

"Well, yeah, I took the first game."

"Not yet …"

"Why not?"

"Because I can't do this with an audience," and she traced his lips with her tongue as she rubbed her hands up his back.

Sam kissed her before pulling away with the promise to continue it _after_ they got rid of Oliver and Nick.

Sam felt more than he heard Andy's giggle.

"What're you laughin' at, McNally?"

"Twice tonight I've been told I would have to wait to make out with you, now _you're_ telling me I have wait."

"Baby, we've got a lifetime, what's a couple more hours? Maybe _this_ is why Nash stayed away on poker night," Sam laughed.

Andy kissed him again before saying, "Nope, this is definitely a reason to stay."

"What're we gonna do in January when it's too cold to come out here?"

"That's January …"

"Woman, behave. I have to go back in there and play."

"I think you said somethin' about playin' with me …"

Sam kissed her before turning her toward the door. "Later. Come on."

After what happened outside the last thing Andy expected once they got back to the table was for Sam to pull her back into his lap.

Sam smiled. He'd been enjoying the playful banter that had returned between him and Andy. For the first time in ages he felt like they were getting back on track. He'd been watching her all day, _hoping_ he was reading her right. It had been just over three months since they'd made love. Of course six of those weeks they hadn't been together after he fucked up and made the _biggest _mistake of his _life_. The rest of it, he'd spent trying to help the woman he loved more than life itself find her way back to him and understand that he couldn't live without her.

It had been one helluva week. A week where things had changed dramatically but here they were having poker night and she was _sitting in his lap_. He wondered if she knew how crazy she drove him. She made sitting still difficult, had from the moment he pulled her into his lap. Every once in awhile if she wasn't shifting against him she was squeezing or rubbing his thigh. He had to keep reminding _himself_ of the promise he'd made to her outside - later. After another hour or so the moment he'd been waiting for happened.

"So whose money are we takin' this hand?"

Oliver folded on the small blind again.

Sam looked at him and tried not to show his excitement. "You ok, brother?"

Ollie turned his cards. "Yeah, I'm just not lettin' that little brunette in your lap take _all_ my money. I got a wife and kids at home!"

Sam and Andy laughed while Nick shook his head.

"Uh, Oliver, I _can't_ take your money, I'm not playin' …"

"No, you're just sittin' there on my brother's lap lookin' cute, no deal, McNally."

Andy shrugged as she stole a quick glance at Sam's cards. Sam rubbed her back and smiled.

"If it makes you feel better, Oliver, I can …"

Sam clamped his arm around her waist.

"Stay right where you are, McNally." His tone _dared_ Oliver to suggest otherwise.

Oliver laughed. "If there's one thing I've learned tonight, McNally, it's that you're _less_ of a distraction for Sammy if you're sittin' where you are, so do us a favor … next time we do this, do as Sammy said and stay there. As for tonight, I'm out, like I said, the wife'll kill me if I lose any more money to you guys."

Collins stretched and looked at his watch. "If I leave now I may be able to talk Gail into lettin' me stay the night."

Andy grinned. "Thought you said you _didn't_ have a hot date with her?"

Nick ignored Andy.

Sam chuckled. "Good luck with that." He had noticed a considerable difference in the _Ice Queen_ since the arrival of Collins but you could always count on a Peck to throw you off.


	24. Chapter 24

They walked the guys to the door and said goodnight. He locked up and joined Andy in cleaning up the little mess that was left. He watched her work away at the dishes. "Y'know, tonight turned out pretty good. Maybe we could do it again."

Andy turned and smiled. "Definitely. I know this was hard for you and Oliver but like I said earlier I also think Jerry would be happy with you guys continuing."

Sam walked up behind her; wrapping his arms around her waist he nuzzled her neck. "I think he'd get a kick out of knowin' you handed Shaw his ass. That really was great baby. Your dad taught you pretty well."

Andy giggled. "He never really even saw it comin'. I felt a little bad about it."

Sam nibbled on her neck. "You shouldn't. It's good for Ollie to get a little payback sometimes." He brushed hair back to expose more of her neck. Trailing light kisses and bites along her shoulder he pulled her closer. He didn't want to push his luck even though he knew from her moans and gasps that she was enjoying it.

She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be with Sam. The last three months had been the worst of her life. He'd been so amazing since that day and had kept every promise he made. He'd been patient and loving and had been there for her every second of every damn day. She had felt ready for days but tonight seemed to bring it out in her more than any other day. Maybe the alcohol helped a little too.

Sam tried to pull away slightly but Andy pushed herself back into him and wiggled her butt again for at least the fifth or sixth time that night. Sam groaned and pulled her even closer. He kissed her neck and whispered. "We don't have to do anything until you're ready, Andy."

A small smile crossed her lips as she leaned her head back to look at him. "Kiss me." He planted a light kiss on her lips. She sighed and turned in his arms. She wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him to her. Sam watched her lips part slightly as her tongue darted out like it had earlier, brushing his bottom lip. She breathed out. " Sam, _kiss_ me."

The sound in her voice took his breath away. He bent down and crushed his lips to hers. He tried to keep it soft and gentle but it had been so long since he'd _really _kissed her. It deepened and he couldn't keep his hands from wandering. When she pulled away his hands froze, until she took the moment to pull his shirt up and off. He pulled her back in and started kissing and nibbling on her neck again as she ran her hands over his chest and back, kissing areas she could reach. "_Andy._"

Both were breathing heavy when she pulled away and took his hand, leading him to their bedroom. She stopped at the bed and turned back to him. He still looked unsure. She took her own shirt off before moving closer.

Sam's head was swimming with desire. He'd been completely content with just having her in his arms, by his side and _now_ all he could think about was showing her physically how much he loved her. He let her take his hand and put it on her chest. He watched her eyes flutter and her head fall back as she let out a little sigh. He knew she was ready. Sam pulled her to him and kissed his way across her chest as he slowly removed her bra. He smiled, remembering just how beautiful her breasts were. He kissed and lightly licked them. "God baby! You're so beautiful. I've missed you _so much_."

Andy gasped at his words and wrapped her fingers up on his hair, holding him in place as he made her shiver with pleasure. He slowly slid her jeans off and then his own. They held each other kissing and caressing for what seemed like a lifetime before he pulled her down on the bed with him.

She slid under him and wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him down. "I've missed you too_._" He took his time kissing her and enjoying the feeling of their almost bare bodies touching. He would get carried away in a kiss and press himself into her, eliciting a gasp and she would arch her hips into him more. He looked into her eyes, making sure this was what she really wanted. All he could see was love and desire that matched his own. He slowly kissed his way down her body; paying homage to her beautiful breasts, leaving light kisses across her stomach, and then nuzzling and lightly kissing her thighs before sliding her panties off.

Andy was totally lost in his kisses. Their sex life had been pretty amazing before, it seemed like it was the only thing they really did right. They had both moved past their insecurities and their relationship was true and strong for the first time ever. Sam slid his briefs off before moving slowly back up to capture her lips in his. He hovered over her as they kissed.

Andy couldn't take the anticipation anymore. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him down to her. "I _need_ you, Sam_. Please._"

He didn't wait any longer. He slowly slid inside her, both gasping and moaning at the pleasure they had missed all these months. Sam buried himself all the way in her and stopped, nuzzling her neck as he took a deep breath and whispered. "_God, I've missed you so much._"

She held him tightly as he started to slowly move in and out of her. It was like their first night all over again. They kissed passionately and clung to each other like the world was ending. Sam didn't know how much longer he could hold out but he could also tell Andy was close so maybe the timing would be perfect. He could feel both of them getting closer with every stroke and he just lost control. His thrusts became deeper and faster as she squealed his name.

Andy gripped Sam tightly to her. She could feel it building and couldn't let go. Then she saw it in his eyes, the moment where he lost all control and she begged him. "_Please Sam!_"

He took her pleading and drove himself deeper and harder into her. Seconds later feeling her clench around him and making his orgasm followed, he buried himself deep inside her as he kissed her like his life depended on it, both screaming out for each other Sam collapsed onto her. After a few minutes of recovering he rolled them over and tucked her into his side. Andy fell asleep with her head on Sam's chest and her arms around him.


	25. Chapter 25

Sam woke up and reached for the alarm wondering why they hadn't shut it off since they'd taken the day off.

Sam looked at Andy sound asleep and smiled.

After the night they had he wasn't surprised she hadn't heard the alarm. They'd made love more than once.

There was no denying it, she _was_ the woman he'd always dreamed of. He smiled as an old song by Firefall popped into his head and he got an idea. Maybe it was time to dust off the old guitar.

He _tried_ to get out of bed without waking her …

"Babe?"

Sam leaned over and kissed her. "Go back to sleep, baby."

She grabbed his pillow hugging it as Sam laughed softly. He whispered "I love you" before kissing her again.

He made himself throw on a pair of lounging pants and leave the room. He couldn't surprise her with the guitar _and_ stay in bed with her.

Andy was asleep by the time Sam got to the door. With his hand on the door he looked back at the woman in bed and smiled. He made his way downstairs.

Once he had the coffee on he went to find his guitar case. Not many people knew he played, even fewer knew he had his own.

It had been so long since he'd picked it up that it was seriously _out_ of tune, but that was easily fixed. He just hoped he still had enough of a callous on his fingers that it wouldn't hurt later. He used to play all the time, but had gotten away from it. Maybe it was time to bring it out more often.

He grimaced at the tenderness in his fingers after the first couple of notes. Yeah, he definitely needed to keep it _outta_ the case.

He realized after a few wrong notes his callous' weren't the _only_ thing that had gone soft … he was pretty rusty. After a couple songs to shake the rust off it all came back to him _including_ the dead feeling in his fingers. He was pretty sure he could play it and have it sound like he hadn't just picked the guitar up yesterday.

Andy woke up to what sounded like someone playing a guitar. She got up and put on one of Sam's shirts and made her way downstairs. Sam was sitting on one of the stools from the kitchen island - playing a guitar.

Sam smiled when he saw her walk into the living room wearing one of his shirts.

He stopped playing long enough to hold out his hand to her. She reached for his hand and he pulled her closer. He kissed her before motioning for her to sit on the couch.

As soon as she sat down, he started to play … and to Andy's surprise - sing! After what was said that night in the cover apartment about karaoke she never expected to hear him sing, but here he was, playing and singing … for her.

_You are the woman that I've always dreamed of_

_I knew it from the start_

_I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart_

_It's not so much the things you say to me_

_It's not the things you do_

_It's how I feel each time you're close to me_

_That keeps me close to you, woh oh_

_You are the woman that I've always dreamed of_

_I knew it from the start_

_I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart_

_It's not so much your pretty face I see_

_It's not the clothes you wear_

_It's more that special way you look at me_

_That always keeps me there, woh oh_

_You are the woman that I've always dreamed of_

_I knew it from the start_

_I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart_

_It's hard to tell you all the love I'm feelin'_

_That's just not my style_

_You got a way to send my senses reelin'_

_Every time you smile, woh_

_You are the woman that I've always dreamed of_

_I knew it from the start_

_I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart _

_(I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart)_

_Of my heart, oh, of my heart_

When Sam finished playing all Andy could do was stare at him. His voice, she had no words to describe it.

"Sam, that was … amazing."

Sam smiled. "Think so?"

"I don't think, babe, I _know_."

She got up when he leaned the guitar against the table. Standing in front of him, with his hands on her waist, hers on his shoulders, she kissed him.

"The song kinda fit, so …"

"I loved it … and I love _you_."

"I love you."

"I didn't know you played … and I thought you _didn't_ sing?!"

"Not many people do … For you, I do … Just don't go thinkin' I'm gonna do it on Karaoke Night at the Penny."

"But, Sam, you've got an amazing voice …"

"And the _only_ one that's _ever_ gonna hear it is _you_." He kissed her. "Ready for a coffee?"

"I'll get them."

Sam carried the stool back into the kitchen.

"Y'know, babe, I could get used to listening to you play …"

Sam walked up behind her.

"Oh yeah?"

"Definitely."

"I _might_ be persuaded to keep playing."

Andy turned around and whispered against his lips, "Oh yeah?"

Sam reached for the hem of his shirt, "Yeah …"

Their coffee was forgotten as Sam carried Andy back upstairs.

They made their way back downstairs a few hours later. Neither had gotten "dressed", both opting for lounging wear … Andy's included wearing one of Sam's shirts.

Sam dumped the cold pot and was filling the pot for a fresh one when his cell rang. Andy checked the caller I.D.

"Babe, it's Sarah."

"Hey Sis."

"Hey Sammy."

"What's goin' on?"

"I know things have been crazy, but you _do_ know the holidays are coming …"

Sam closed his eyes. "Shit! Sorry Sis."

"You _forgot_?"

"Not exactly. Just haven't thought much about it."

"You _are_ still coming, right?"

"I don't know yet."

"Sammy!"

"We haven't talked about it. I don't know if she has plans with her dad …"

"Sammy, we _always_ spend Christmas together."

"I know, but this year why don't we make it for the weekend before?"

"You're still coming here?"

"Yeah, we'll put in for it when we go in tomorrow."

"You're off today?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll let you go."

"Ok, I'll call you before we leave."

"Ok. I love you, little brother."

"I love you too. Did you wanna say hi …"

"Thought you'd never ask!"

Sam laughed as he handed the phone to Andy.

"Hi Sarah …"

"So much for saying _hi_," Sam commented when Andy hung up half an hour later.

"I'll make it up to you later …"

"I'm gonna hold ya to that, woman!"

Andy stood in front of Sam and put her arms around his waist. "I'd _rather_ be held against _you_."

Sam put his arms around her as he said, "That _can_ be arranged."

Andy laughed as she kissed him.

Sam fixed their coffees and carried them into the living room. Andy squealed in surprise when Sam pulled her into his lap. Wrapping his arms around her and her arms around his, she laughed as she said, "This is becoming a habit."

"What is?"

"Me, sittin' in your lap."

Sam kissed the back of her neck before he asked, "Do you hear me complaining?"

"Keep it up and we won't make it back upstairs this time …"

"Again, do you hear me complaining? Have we ever _done_ it on a couch?"

By the time they got dressed, again, the coffee was cold … again. Sam laughed as he dumped the 2nd pot of cold coffee out.

"Baby, I think if we want coffee today we're gonna have to make a Tim's run because we're wasting it here."

Andy walked up behind him and put her arms around him.

"You realize that means getting _dressed_ and leavin' the house …"

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, but then I can help get you _out_ of your jeans …"

They'd never had a 'problem' keeping their hands off each other, but after last night …

They got dressed and made a quick Tim's run. Sam was never more grateful for a drive-thru than today, he wasn't ready to let the rest of the world back in yet.

Back at the house they changed out of their street clothes and back into their lounge wear.

They were sitting on the couch with Andy leaning against him and Sam's arm around her waist.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"You ok?"

Just thinkin', baby."

"About?"

"Jerry."

"O … k, there a reason why?"

"My alarm that went awhile ago?"

"Yeah?"

"It was for an appointment Jerry and I had for something wedding related."

Andy closed her eyes. "God, babe, I'm sorry."

"For what? It's not your fault I forgot to take the reminder off my phone."

They finished their coffees in silence. Andy wasn't sure where Sam was going when he pushed her away so he could get up.

She watched as Sam put something on the CD player.

"Jerry and I were tryin' to find songs for the wedding. Songs the 4 of us could dance to _without_ Noelle's help. We wanted to surprise you and Nash. Jerry wasn't really a Country guy and God knows I'm Classic Rock, so I have no idea where these came from. But we took one listen, looked at each other and said they were gettin' played for ours girls. Even though Jerry's gone and the wedding's not gonna happen, I still wanted you to hear them. So … "

Sam sat back on the couch and wrapped his arms around Andy who had curled up beside him with her arms around his waist, before he hit the 'play' button and the sounds of a dobro filled the room followed by -

_The sun was made to shine_

_A mountain made to climb_

_And love was made to last a lifetime through_

_The world was made to turn_

_A fire was made to burn_

_And my heart, my heart was made to love you_

_I believe what is to be will be_

_No one can stop my loving you or you loving me_

_The river's made to flow_

_The moon was made to glow_

_And heaven knows God made the rose to bloom_

_The bird was made to fly_

_Stars to light the night_

_And my heart, my heart was made to love you_

_I believe what is to be will be_

_No one can stop my loving you or you loving me_

_The world was made to turn_

_A fire was made to burn_

_And my heart, my heart was made to love you_

_And my heart, my heart was made to love you._

Andy had tears in her eyes when the song finished, but just when she thought the CD was over, another song began to play -

_I'd like to keep on drawing breath_

_Quench my thirst, keep my hunger fed_

_And I'd like shelter over me_

_These things I want but you I need_

_I'd like some money I could fold_

_Lord knows I'd like a lighter load_

_I'd like a coat come a cold hard freeze_

_These things I want but you I need_

_Darlin' I want you to know_

_You are the life blood of my soul_

_Bread and water _

_Air to breath_

_These things I want but you I need_

_I'd like to work an honest day_

_Make somewhere close to honest pay_

_And when I'm tired lay down and sleep_

_These things I want but you I need_

_Darlin' I want you to know_

_You are the life blood of my soul_

_Bread and water _

_Air to breath_

_These things I want but you I need_

_Bread and water _

_Air to breath_

_These things I want but you I need._

By the time the final note faded, Andy was crying. "_Please_ tell me that was the last one."

Sam hugged her. "That was it, baby, just the 2."

"Thank God. You know you woulda totally ruined our make-up with those, right? Because I _promise you_ we woulda both been crying!"

"And that's different from now, how?"

"Maybe it wouldn't be, but at least you're here, Traci can't say the same about Jerry. I feel bad …"

"Why?"

Andy looked at Sam, "Because she'll never get this …"

Sam tightened his arms around her as she put her head on his shoulder, and talking more to herself than Sam, said, "She'll never get to dance with the guy of her dreams to songs she never thought he'd listen to, let alone play for her to hear …"

Andy got up off the couch and held out a hand to Sam. "You said something about dancing?"

Sam got up and took Andy in his arms before hitting the 'play' button again. As the song came to an end, Andy raised her head from Sam's shoulder to look at him as she asked, "So you think this'll last a lifetime, huh?"

Sam answered softly, "Mine, yours, this one, the next one …" before kissing her gently.

They stood there after the music ended just holding each other.

Sam could _feel_ the wheels turning in her pretty head.

"What's goin' on in that head of yours, McNally?"

"Hmmm?"

"Talk to me, woman, if there's somethin' botherin' you …"

"Is everything ok with Sarah? She didn't sound like herself."

"She'll be fine. She's probably not happy she's not getting her way."

"What?"

Sam laughed. "Don't worry about it."

The next day Sam booked them both off for the weekend before Christmas, Christmas Day _and_ New Years.


	26. Chapter 26

The weeks leading up to Christmas flew by, soon it was the week before.

They'd just got out of the shower and were getting dressed when Sam asked about getting a tree. "Do you want a real one or an artificial? Spending Christmas with Sarah, I don't usually bother with decorating."

"Then we don't have to …"

"What'd you mean we don't have to? Yeah, we do."

"If we're not gonna be here, there's no point."

"Yeah, there is. Because we _are _gonna be here. We're gettin' together with her this weekend. You made plans with your dad yet."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you first and things have been so crazy lately …"

Sam walked over to her and put his hands on her waist, Andy rested hers on his arms.

"When do you _want_ to get together with your dad, baby?"

"I was thinkin' maybe Christmas Eve or Boxing Day …"

"Call him."

"You sure?"

Sam kissed her. "Yes."

Andy called her dad and they made plans for Boxing Day.

They spent the week shopping and decorating after work. Sam didn't care what they did, as long as they were together.

Thursday night Andy wrapped the gifts they were taking to St. Catharines.

Friday morning Sam loaded everything in the truck so they could leave right after shift.

Sam left her at the girls' locker room with a kiss and the promise to see her once she'd changed. He was waiting when she stepped into the hall. He pushed away from the wall and reached for her hand.

Hand in hand, they walked into parade.

Sam went straight for his seat at the back. Andy's fellow rookies weren't surprised when she didn't sit at the table with them, but followed Sam to the back. He sat on the table and pulled her into his legs, his arms around her.

They were pleasantly surprised during assignments when Frank put Nick on the desk with Gail and said she was with the Ds. They hadn't spent a day together since Frank had partnered her with Nick.

The day passed fairly quickly, if not smoothly. Andy came out of the locker room to see Sam and Nick talking. Sam saw her and held out his hand, she took it and let him pull her to his side.

"Hear you're going away for the weekend?"

"Think you can get along without me for a couple of days?" she teased.

"Not sure how, but I _think_ I can manage," he laughed.

Sam shook his head, they _almost_ sounded like him and Sarah!

"You two keep it up, people are gonna start to think either McNally left me,"

"Never happen," Andy laughed softly.

"Or, wonder if you're siblings."

Andy looked at Nick. "He's as close as I wanna get to one, thank you."

"Collins, I'm not sure if _that_ was a compliment or not!"

"There are _some_ things, Sam, I don't _need_ to know … the answer to _that_ being one of them! You guys better hit the road so you don't get stuck in traffic."

"Collins, it's Toronto, there's _always_ traffic! But he's right baby, we should head out."

"I'm ready."

"Then let's go."

"Enjoy the weekend guys, see ya Monday."

Traffic on the Q.E.W. was bumper-to-bumper so instead of an hour and a half, it took almost twice that before Sam finally pulled the truck into Sarah's driveway.

He barely had the truck in park and shut off before Sarah was out the door. They got out of the truck and Sam gave his sister a hug.

"Hey Sis."

"Hey Sammy … how was the drive?"

"Q.E … Friday … Enough said."

Sarah laughed. "That bad?"

"We left the station 3 hours ago …"

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Please tell me there's a beer in the fridge with my name on it."

Sarah laughed again. "There might be."

Sam took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders trying to release some of the tension - Christ he hated traffic! - as he grabbed their bags out of the back.

Andy came up beside him and put her hand on his back. "You ok?"

"Nothin' a kiss from you and a beer can't cure."

Andy laughed as he bent his head to kiss her.

"Uh, Sammy, my neighbors do _not_ need to see my little brother, the cop, making out with his girlfriend in my driveway ..."

Sam sighed and pulled away from Andy. Kissing her cheek he whispered, "We'll finish this later." Andy smiled as he took her hand and led her into the house.

Sam dropped their bags at the door and headed straight for the kitchen - the fridge, more specifically.

Sarah was already there and handed them each an opened bottle. Sam saluted her with the bottle before taking a drink.

"Geez, Sammy, was the traffic _that_ bad or just a shitty day in general?"

Sam nodded at Andy. "_There's_ the reason today was bearable."

"Huh? I didn't think you guys rode together anymore."

"We don't … We _didn't_. Frank assigned her to the Ds office today."

"Why?"

"Knowing Frank, because we have the weekend off and he figured I'd be nicer to her than any of the others."

Sarah laughed. "They can't _still_ be afraid of you. You're not the same since Andy."

"Is that good or bad, Sis?"

Sarah laughed again. "All good … unless you're _trying_ to intimidate someone, then I'm not sure you've still got it."

"Believe me, Sarah, he's _still_ got a pretty good bark while wearing the shield."

"Ah, but how's his _bite_, Andy?"

"Woman, do _not_ answer _that_!"

Sarah couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, Sammy, I couldn't resist."

"Payback is a bitch, Sis, payback _is_ a bitch …"

They finished their beer, Sam grabbed Andy's hand and headed for their bags.

"We're gonna grab a shower, Sis."

"Ok. No problem. Need anything?"

"Yeah. Her. A shower. A bed and 12 hours of sleep."

Sarah laughed. "Do you want to eat or just crash?"

Sam looked at Andy, knowing she was as exhausted as he was. "Up to you."

Andy was leaning against Sam, now that they'd had a chance to relax for a few minutes, the day was catching up to her.

"Don't take this personally, Sarah, please, but _all_ I wanna do is grab a shower and crash."

"It's ok. We've got all weekend to catch up … after you guys come back to the land of the living."

It took Sam longer to dry Andy's hair than the actual shower itself. Crawling into bed they were both out cold by the time Andy's head was on his chest and their arms around each other.

Sam woke up to the sound of the door opening, he turned his head to see Sarah coming in, coffee in hand. "There's no rush. You guys take your time. I just figured you'd want a coffee before coming down to face a certain someone …"

Sam laughed softly. "Thanks. She's up?"

"Has been for awhile. It hasn't been easy keeping her outta here once she found out you were here."

"Thanks. What time is it?"

"Not time to worry about it if you're still tired, Sammy. Go back to sleep." Sam was asleep by the time Sarah closed the door.

Andy woke up to find Sam watching her.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Andy was still a little out of it as she looked around. "Sam?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Where are we?"

Sam laughed softly. "Sarah's."

"Right. Sorry."

"Don't be. As exhausted as we were last night, if I didn't recognize it, I woulda wondered the same thing."

"As much as I love you and wish we had more days together, yesterday was _not_ fun, babe!"

"I know. Like I told Sarah last night, you were the reason yesterday was bearable. Maybe I shoulda booked us the entire 2 weeks instead of just this weekend, Christmas and New Years."

"We'd go crazy and you know it."

They got up, showered, dressed and Sam was drying her hair before they finished their conversation.

"Just be prepared to spend the next couple of weeks with the Ds because I am _not_ going through the craziness of Christmas/New Years without you! Speaking of being prepared, you need to prepare yourself for Sami."

"Sami?"

"Yeah, Sarah's little girl, Samantha. She's 5 …"

"And Uncle Sammy's pride and joy …"

Sam laughed. "How'd ya guess?"

Andy stood up and reached for Sam's hand. "Let's get this introduction over with."

"You sound nervous?"

"You would be too if you were meeting a 5 year old who's had your attention all to herself her entire life …"

Sam put his arms around her. "She'll love you … not as much as I do, but she will."

They walked downstairs. Sam could hear Sarah in the living room. Walking to the door, Sam caught Sarah's attention and motioned for her to keep quiet. Sam snuck up on the little girl lifting her up from behind, he kissed her cheek, "BOO!"

The little girl in his arms squealed and wiggled around so she could hug him, "Uncle Sammy!"

Sam laughed. "Hiya Princess."

Andy smiled at the little girl's reaction, it was obvious she worshipped him.

"How's my Princess?"

"Happy."

"Oh yeah? What's got you so happy?"

"You."

"Me?" Sam winked at Andy, "Why do I make you happy?"

"You're here!" She practically bounced in his arms.

Sam laughed as he hugged her. "I missed you too, Princess."

Sam held out his hand for Andy. "I got somebody I want you to meet."

"Who?"

Andy walked up to Sam and put her arm around his waist, he shifted the child in his arms to one side so he could put his arm around Andy.

She looked at Andy. "Who're you?"

Sam laughed. "Princess, this who I want you to meet. Can you say hi to Andy?"

"Hi, Andy."

"Baby, this little monkey is my niece Samantha …"

"I'm _not_ a monkey! I'm your princess … and I only get called Samantha when I'm _bad_. My name is Sami … just like you!"

Sam laughed as he kissed his niece's forehead.

"It's nice to meet you, Sami."

"Uncle Sammy, why's she here? Who is she?"

Sam suddenly understood why Andy had been nervous. He felt like he was navigating a minefield. He sat down with Sami in his lap, Andy sat on the arm of the chair.

"She's here because Mommy and I wanted her here." Sam looked at Andy and smiled before turning back to the little girl in his lap. "She's the most important person in Uncle Sammy's life, Princess."

"But I thought _I_ was!" she cried

Sam hugged her. "Sami, look at me."

The little girl who adored him and who had him wrapped around her finger since the moment she was born, did as he asked. "You will _always_ be my princess, Samantha, Andy being part of my life will _never_ change that, but Andy, my feelings for Andy are different. She's Uncle Sammy's partner at work, but more than that, I love her."

"Like Mommy and Daddy?"

"Yeah, Princess, like Mommy and Daddy."

Sami looked from Sam to Andy and back before she asked in a tear-filled voice, "Can I call her Aunt Andy?"

Neither Sam, Andy or Sarah had expected _that_.

"Why don't we ask Andy, Princess? What'd ya say, baby?"

Andy swallowed past the lump in her throat, she hadn't expected to be accepted so easily. It was proof of the level of trust and adoration she had for her uncle. Andy slipped off the arm of the chair to kneel in front of the little girl in Sam's lap.

Smiling Andy said, "I don't know about Uncle Sammy, but I'd like that."

Sami looked at her namesake. Sam nodded and the little girl smiled and launched herself into Andy's arms.

After coffee Sam offered to take Sami outside for awhile to get her out of Sarah's hair. Sarah smiled. "Thanks Sammy, she's not much help in the kitchen."

Sam laughed. "No problem. We'll see ya later."

Sam walked into the living room to find Sami curled up in Andy's lap as she read to her. Sam stood their smiling as he watched them for a few minutes before he said, "Hey what'd ya say, we go outside and play for awhile?"

"Can Aunt Andy come too?"

Sam lifted her up and held out his hand to help Andy.

"Of course she is, Princess." Sam put his arm around Andy, "Uncle Sammy doesn't go many places without her."

Sami looked at Andy who nodded.

"Ok."

"Come on, Princess, let's get you all bundled up."

"But, Uncle Sammy …"

"No buts, it's cold outside."

Sam looked at Andy. "She's taking after you already."

Andy laughed. "We're not related, Sam, she can't take after me."

"Wanna bet?" Sam laughed.

They no sooner got outside then they decided to find something else to do - something indoors where it was warmer.

Opening the door, Sam called to Sarah to see if there was any place she took Sami to play.

"Nope, sorry, never even thought of the season when you asked to take her out to play. But she's not gonna care where you are or what you're doing as long as she's with you, you know that."

Sam closed the door and thought for a minute.

"What's the plan now?" Andy asked.

Putting his arms around her, Sam hugged her before turning to Sami.

"What'd ya say, Princess, how about a movie date with Uncle Sammy and Aunt Andy?"

Their pint-sized charge jumped up and down in the snow as she said, "YAY!"

"So what're we gonna watch?" Andy asked as she got Sami out of her boots and coat a few minutes later.

"Tangled! Tangled! Tangled! _Please_ Uncle Sammy?"

Sam laughed. "Think she wants to watch Tangled?"

"I don't know babe, might have to ask her again, just to be sure …"

"Noooooooooooooooooo."

Both Sam and Andy laughed.

Andy sat on the couch with Sami in her lap as Sam put the movie in the DVD player before joining them on the couch. He put his arm around Andy and pulled her next to him, she rested her head on his shoulder. Sam laughed as Sami made herself comfortable, stretching out so her head was in his lap and her feet were in Andy's.

Halfway through the movie Sami fell asleep so Sam turned the movie off. Andy lifted her head so Sam could get up. He picked Sami up and carried her to bed.

Andy leaned against the doorframe and watched Sam with his niece. He was going to make one helluva dad one day. The thought surprised her. Thanks to her messed up childhood, having a family wasn't something she thought a lot about … at least she _didn't_ until Sam. Sam made her feel like she could be the kind of mother she didn't have. Said a lot considering he and Sarah didn't have an ideal childhood either.

Sam tucked Sami in and kissed her forehead, silently thanking her for the greatest gift she could have given him - he knew Andy questioned the kind of mother she'd be, afraid she'd repeat _her_ mother's mistakes. But from what he'd seen with Sami in just a couple hours, she had nothing to be afraid of. When the time came she was going to be a great mom.

Not that they needed to worry about that for awhile. They were happy with the here and now.

They were sitting in the living room an hour later, catching up when a sleepy Sami walked in. No surprise, she walked straight to Sam. Sam automatically picked her up and she curled up in his lap. "Hiya Princess," he said softly kissing her cheek.

"I swear when it comes to you, that kid has a sixth sense, little brother," Sarah commented as they sat down to what was the Swarek sibling Christmas dinner since they wouldn't _be_ together on Christmas.

After supper Andy helped clean up. Things were good between her and Sarah until Sami's bedtime. No surprise, she wanted Sam to tuck her in. She hugged her mom and dad before allowing Sam to carry her upstairs. They thought Sam was coming back downstairs when he shouted at Andy. "Hey baby, come upstairs a minute?"

"Why?"

"Sami wants you to help tuck her in."

Andy got up and left the room.

Sarah couldn't believe it. Not only did she not get _any_ one-on-one with her brother because he wouldn't let Andy out of his sight or his reach, now her daughter had to be tucked in by her!

Sam and Andy came back downstairs, with Sami in bed, when Sam sat down on the couch he pulled Andy into his lap.

"Uh, Sammy, do you mind _not_ making out with your girlfriend on _my_ couch? I mean your niece _is_ upstairs!"

"Uh, Sis, where'd _that_ come from?"

"Seriously, Sammy? Are you _really_ gonna sit there and act like it's no big deal that you're making out with your girlfriend on my couch?"

"Ok, that's twice within 5 minutes you've accused me of that when _all_ she's doing is _sitting_ in my lap! Now, what the fuck has gotten into you?!"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that we haven't spent _any_ time together because you're too busy with _her_ …" Sarah pointed at Andy. "Or the fact that _my daughter_ had to have _her_ tuck her in, while _I_ got a quick hug in my own living room?!"

Andy jumped off Sam's lap and ran from the room, the next thing they heard was the door closing.

"Nice, Sis, real nice." Sam got up and grabbing his jacket went out to find Andy. He found her by the truck without her jacket. Shrugging out of his, he put it around her and took her in his arms.

"_What the hell_ just happened, Sam?"

"I don't know, baby."

They stood there for a few minutes before Andy realized that Sam was outside _without_ a jacket because he'd given it to her.

"Babe, you should go back inside."

"Not without you, I'm not."

"Sam …"

"_Not_ up for debate, woman. Either we go in together or I go grab our gear and we head home tonight."

"Sam, I _can't_ go back in there. I don't know what I did, but I obvious did _something_ to piss her off."

Sam reached into his jacket pocket for his keys, unlocking the truck he opened the passenger door. "Get in."

"What?"

Instead of repeating himself, Sam lifted her into the truck and closed the door. Walking back into the house, Sam kicked his shoes off before heading upstairs. He threw his stuff together before getting Andy's. He took one final look to make sure he had everything before walking out of his sister's spare room and down the stairs.

The sound of something hitting the floor caught Sarah's attention. She walked into the hallway to see Sam putting on his shoes and getting Andy's jacket, their bags were by the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"What? Why?"

"You _really_ need to ask, Sarah? She won't come back inside and I'm _not_ stayin' without her, so, we're gone," and Sam opened the door.

Before she had time to register what was happening, Sam had their bags in the truck and was _out_ the driveway.

They were on the Q.E.W. headed out of St. Catharines back to Toronto. Sam was so pissed at Sarah he could barely see straight. Andy hadn't said a word since they'd left. Reaching for her hand, he glanced over. She was sittin' there staring out the window. Sam tugged on her hand so she'd look at him. When she did, there were tears running down her cheeks. He couldn't say anything, he didn't want to take his anger at Sarah out on her, so he did the only thing he could - he hit the play button on what had become a very familiar song, sung by Hunter Hayes, it was the song that had played that night at the station …

_When you try not to look at me  
Scared that I'll see you hurting  
You're not hiding anything, no  
And frankly it's got me worried  
Nobody knows you better than I do  
I keep my promises, I'm fighting for you_

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, with you_

_I'm not going any place_  
_I just hate to see you like this_  
_No, I can't make it go away_  
_Oh, but keeping it inside won't fix it_  
_I can't give you every answer that you need_  
_But I wanna hear everything you wanna tell me_

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, oh_  
_Yeah, I cry with you_

_You need love tough enough to count on_  
_So here I am_

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, oh_  
_You're not alone, oh no, baby_

Traffic on the Q.E was non-existent surprisingly and Sam was grateful there were no O.P.P's or Regional's on the road with a gun, because they woulda clocked him going _well_ over the posted 100km/hr limit, but he wanted away from St. Catharines and his sister as fast as possible.

Andy unbuckled her belt and slid next to Sam without a word. Sam hit the 'repeat' button before putting his arm around her, they listened to 'Cry With You' the rest of the way home while Andy cried.

Andy finally cried herself to sleep just before Sam pulled up at home. He put the bags in the house before carrying Andy inside. He was still entirely too pissed to sleep and had every intention of going back downstairs after he got Andy undressed and in bed … until she grabbed his hand. "Stay."

_Shit!_

Sam got undressed and crawled in bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what, baby?"

"Coming between you and Sarah. I never meant to."

"You didn't. You haven't. You won't."

"But Sarah …"

"But nothin', Andy. I love you. My sister knows that. Now go back to sleep."

"I can't."

Sam sighed. "How many times you gonna make me play 'Cry With You', tonight, woman?"

"Until it doesn't hurt to think …"

Sam kissed her temple. "Don't think, baby, sleep."

He played the song one more time, only this time, _he_ sang with it.

Andy fell asleep to the sound of Sam's voice singing the song he played _every_ time she cried since they'd heard it that night.


	27. Chapter 27

When Andy woke the next morning she wasn't sure why they were in _their_ bed … then she remembered what happened.

They got up and made their way downstairs. Neither spoke. Andy sat at the island while Sam made coffee. They could hear the message notification on Sam's phone going off. Andy got up and went to get his phone out of his jacket pocket where he left it after they got home last night. Walking back into the kitchen, Andy handed Sam his phone before sitting back down.

Sam checked it. There were multiple messages from Sarah, he deleted them all without even listening to them.

When the phone rang and showed Sarah's number he was tempted to ignore it, he wasn't interested in anything Sarah had to say right now, but there was a chance it was Sami and no matter _how_ pissed he was at his sister he wouldn't put his niece in the middle.

"Yeah?"

"Don't hang up. "

"What'd you want Sarah?"

Sarah? Ouch! He _was_ still pissed. She'd hoped he'd chilled out by now.

"I didn't call you for me, though we _do_ need to talk, there's somebody else that wants to talk to you …"

Sam could hear her passing the phone.

"Uncle Sammy?"

"Hiya Princess."

"Where'd you go?"

"We're home, Princess."

"But why?"

"Listen, Princess, I'm sorry we had to leave without saying goodbye, but we couldn't stay. I'll make it up to you next time I see you, I promise."

"Ok. Where's Aunt Andy?"

Sam smiled. "She's right here, you wanna talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. Hold on." Sam passed the phone to Andy.

"Hey sweetie."

"Aunt Andy, how come you didn't stay?"

"We couldn't, sweetie."

"That's what Uncle Sammy said, but why?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. Uncle Sammy and I are sorry we had to come home without a hug goodbye."

"_I miss you_."

Andy had to hand the phone back to Sam so Sami wouldn't hear her cry.

"Listen, Princess, we gotta go, but we'll call you soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Ok. I love you, Uncle Sammy."

Sam smiled. "I love you too, Princess."

Sam disconnected the call and took Andy in his arms.

"Come on baby, talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, babe? I've _been_ that confused little girl. Yeah, I was older, but I _still_ didn't understand. And the idea that _I_ caused someone else to feel that way …"

"Andy, stop. It's not your fault. Sami knows where we are and how to get in touch with us. We did _not_ abandon her. If it makes you feel better, our next day off after New Years we'll run down for the day."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

Sam kissed her. "You don't _have_ to thank me, but you're welcome."

The phone rang and Sam checked the caller I.D.

"Who is it, babe?"

"Sarah."

"Oh … why don't you answer it? Get it over with. I'll go …"

"You're not goin' anywhere, woman …"

"Sam, it's ok."

"No, it's not. If she's gonna piss me off, she's gonna do it no matter where you are and I'd rather you were right where you are now."

Andy leaned her forehead against Sam's, "Ok."

Sam's phone rang again. Sam took a deep breath before connecting the call.

"It's me, don't hang up."

"What'd you want, Sarah?"

"To apologize. I love Andy, you know that …"

"Your behavior last night says different."

"I know and I'm sorry. I never thought I'd be jealous of one of your girlfriends, but that's the only way I can explain it Sammy."

Sam sighed. "Why? You didn't _stop_ being my sister because I fell in love with Andy."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Is she there? I'd like to apologize to my sister since you left last night before I got a chance."

"Your sister?"

"Closest thing I'll ever get to one."

Sam smiled for the first time since he'd answered her call. Handing the phone to Andy, Sam said, "Your sister wants to talk to you."

"What?"

Sam just laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him.

"Hello?"

"Andy, it's Sarah."

"Yeah, I kinda got that from Sam's side of the conversation. If you wanna go another round, I'm not interested."

"What I _want_ is to apologize. Like I told Sammy, the _only_ way to explain yesterday is I got jealous and I'm sorry. I've never had to share my brother before …"

"And that's supposed to make it ok? Because I'm sorry, but it doesn't. Here's your brother …"

"I don't _want_ to talk to my brother, I called to talk to _you_."

"Yeah, well, after last night, forgive me if I'm not interested in talking to _you_."

She threw the phone on the island countertop and jumped off the stool out of Sam's arms, walking outta the room.

"Listen, Sarah …"

"I blew it, didn't I?"

"If she can forgive _me_, she'll forgive you too, just give us some time."

"Sammy, I'm sorry."

"I know. Listen, I need to go find her …"

"Ok. I love you, Sammy."

"I know. Me too."

"Still mad at me?"

Sam sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I can't answer that …"

"I was afraid of that."

"Sorry, Sis, but …"

"I screwed up, I know."

Sam laughed. "_That's_ puttin' it mildly. Gotta go," and Sam hung up.

Sam found her on the couch with her arms wrapped around her knees. He pulled the coffee table close to the couch and sat down, putting his hands on Andy's knees. When she didn't look at him, he reached up and touched her cheek.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I know she's your sister but I can't act like last night _didn't_ happen."

"Baby, I don't expect you to, hell, I wouldn't _ask_ you to! Yeah, I love her, but my sister is _not_ exactly my favorite person right now."

"I just wish I knew what I did …"

"_You_ didn't do anything. She's _my_ sister, this is all on _me_."

Andy put her feet on the floor and leaned toward Sam, wrapping his arms around her waist before putting her hands on his upper arms and resting her forehead against his.

"Do something for me?"

Sam kissed her. "Anything, you know that."

"We're home, it's just me and you. I don't want this to ruin Christmas. Can we forget about the trip … at least until after the holidays are over?"

Sam pulled her into his lap. "Nothing or no one is gonna ruin Christmas, baby, I promise."


	28. Chapter 28

They hadn't been shopping since before the trip to St. Cats, if either of them had got the other's gift it wasn't under the tree.

Truth be told, Andy was still struggling to come up with something for Sam. It _had_ to be something that was _Sam_, something that would _mean_ something to _him_.

Sam however had _no_ problem with Andy's gift. He was just waiting for the call telling him it was ready to be picked up. Before Jerry passed away and everything had gone to hell, one day when he'd been partnered with Collins, he'd paid a visit to _Made You Look_ jewelers and special ordered a charm bracelet for her. He'd also had a 'memory book' put together with the significance of each charm.

They were sitting in Sam's office Monday morning before Parade when Andy brought up the idea of having everybody to the house on Christmas Eve for drinks.

"You want to have a Christmas Party? On Christmas Eve?"

Just drinks with Oliver and Zoe, Traci, Nick and Gail, Chris, Dov …"

"Ok."

"Noelle and Frank …"

"Baby, I said ok."

"Really?"

"Yes. If you wanna have everybody over …"

"I want _us_ to have everybody over …"

Sam laughed. "You. Me. Us. Same thing, McNally."

Andy smiled.

Sam went to Best's office and made arrangements for their friends to stay after Parade.

Sam and Andy were in what had become their regular spot - Sam sitting on the back table with Andy standing between his legs and his arms around her - for parade. Frank breezed through assignments, finally giving Andy hers, "McNally, you're with Swarek, before calling, "Williams, Shaw, Nash, Collins, Epstein, Diaz and Peck, hang back for a minute," and dismissing Parade.

A questioning look passed through the 7 officers, when Sam and Andy didn't leave another look passed through the small group. Finally Nash spoke the question they all wondered, "What's going on, guys?"

Sam tightened his arms to let Andy know it was her invite to issue.

"Ok, we _know_ it's Christmas Eve and everybody probably already has plans, but we'd like to invite everybody over for a drink."

Everybody looked at Sam. When he smiled and nodded there was a chorus of 'We'll be there's followed by "What time?"s. By the time everybody filed out to begin their shift plans had been made for everybody to be there for 7:30-8, giving everybody extra time for last minute paperwork and to change, as well as giving Sam and Andy a chance to get home before everyone arrived.

The days leading up to Christmas were the regular routine for the coppers of 15 … with the exception of 1 - Andy. Sam wasn't kidding when he'd told her she'd be haunting the halls of the barn. Andy spent her days sitting in Sam's office helping him however she could … even if that meant just getting his coffee and listening to him complain about paperwork.

It was a couple days before Christmas and Andy _still_ didn't have a clue what to get Sam besides the 'Our 1st Christmas' ornament when she overheard him talking to Oliver about a RUSH concert at the Molson Amphitheater in May he'd love to see. Andy snuck onto one of the bullpen computers and checked out Ticketmaster's website to see if tickets were still available. She ordered 4 tickets - 2 for her and Sam as well as Oliver and Zoe, since she knew they'd love to go as well, if Oliver wanted to buy them from her, fine, if not, that was ok too.

She printed the confirmations just as Oliver walked passed.

"Oliver!"

"Hey McNally, lookin' forward to spendin' time with you and Sammy tomorrow night."

"We're lookin' forward to it too. Listen Oliver, have you got a minute? I need to talk to you …"

"Always got time for you, McNally.

Everything ok?" he asked as he ushered her into an interview room.

"Yeah, I, uh, just need to know if you think what I got Sam for Christmas is ok. I mean I heard him saying he'd like to go …"

"You got him tickets to RUSH?!"

Andy smiled shyly. "Yeah … I had _no_ idea what to get him , Oliver, then I overheard him telling you ... This just seemed …"

"He'll _love_ it! I'll have to talk to Zoe, see if we can't get tickets before it sells out."

"Taken care of."

"You didn't …"

Andy handed him the confirmation for the second set of tickets. "I ordered 2 sets of 2 … If you guys want them, they're yours."

Oliver took the confirmation and put it in his pocket. "We'll give you the money …"

"After Christmas, I don't want to spoil the surprise."

"Yeah, ok. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I better get back before he wonders where I got to," she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, can't have him puttin' out a BOLO out for one of our own." Oliver grinned.

Sam saw them walk out. "There somethin' you wanna tell me?" he asked as Andy walked up to him.

"Nope. It's all good. Just discussing tomorrow."

"Ok." Sam looked around, seeing no one, he kissed her.

Andy wrapped her arms around him.

"Listen, babe, do you need me for awhile? I want to slip out and get something for Traci and Leo before tomorrow."

Truthfully, she wanted to hit the Ticketmaster box office and pick up the tickets. She already _had_ his Christmas card. She just needed something to put the tickets _in_! Maybe she'd stop by Chapters, see if they had a book about RUSH and she'd tuck them in there. She was gonna call Traci and see if she could stash it at her place so Sam wouldn't find it.

"Trick question, McNally?"

Andy laughed as Sam hugged her before saying, "Go ahead, I can manage for a few minutes."

Andy snuck a kiss before saying, "Thank you. I'll be back soon."

Sam's phone rang a few minutes after she left.

After he hung up from paying for it with his credit card he called Nick and asked if he'd pick it up since he couldn't leave.

"Sure Sam."

"It's already wrapped and paid for, just need it picked up."

"Do you want it before tomorrow? Or do you want me to hold onto it?"

"Hold onto it, I don't want to spoil the surprise."

"Sure."

Andy stood in the doorway of Sam's office watching him. She laughed when he swore causing him to look up.

"Get in here, woman!"

Andy laughed again as she walked over to his desk. "There a problem, detective?"

Sam moved his chair away from his desk and pulled her into his lap. "Not anymore … So where did you hide it?"

Andy was caught off guard. "Hide what?"

"Nice try, McNally. I know the gift you left to get _wasn't_ for Nash _or_ Leo. So where did you hide it?"

Andy kissed him. "Sorry detective. I can't give out that information."

Sam laughed. "Oh no?"

"Nope, sorry. That's privileged information."

"And how do I access that information?"

"Sorry, but you have to wait til Christmas …"

"Good thing Christmas is the day after tomorrow, McNally."

"Why's that, detective?"

"Because I want this case wrapped … or _un_wrapped as soon as possible."

Andy grinned.

After shift they stopped at both the Beer Store _and_ the LCBO so they wouldn't have to suffer through the Christmas Eve crowd that 'forgot' it was Christmas til Christmas Eve.

Getting back in the truck, Sam asked the question that had been bothering him for days.

"If it's just the two of us is there _any_ point in doing the traditional Christmas dinner with _all_ the trimmings, McNally? I mean _I_ don't mind, as long as you don't mind eatin' leftover turkey for the next month or so."

Andy laughed. She'd been thinking the same thing."We _could_ always cheat …"

"How's that?"

"Chalet's festive special is close enough for me …"

"You _really_ don't mind _take out_ for _Christmas_?"

"Nope. Not like it's the first time. Dad and I did it the first few years after Claire left because he didn't want to ruin Christmas."

"There is _no_ way I'm continuing _that_ tradition!"

"Babe, we're not continuing that tradition, we're …" Andy couldn't find the right word.

"Yeah, thought so."

"Sam!"

"I'll figure something out, McNally."

"Don't make a big deal about it, ok?"

Sam turned to look at her. "It's our first Christmas together, too late for _that_, McNally."

Andy leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

Sam shook his head.

"I mean it Sam, this is the first Christmas in I don't know how long that I'm actually looking forward to. So when I say it doesn't matter if Christmas dinner is take out, it doesn't, as long as I'm with you."

Sam smiled to himself as he thought _the first of many, McNally, the first of many._

"You wanna hit the grocery store today or wait to be part of the craziness tomorrow?"

Andy gave him a look that said _Do I know you?_ making Sam laugh. "Just thought I'd ask."

Andy smacked him in the shoulder. "You _knew_ the answer, Swarek!"

Sam laughed as he leaned over and kissed her. "You're right, I did, but your reaction was too cute to pass up."

"Leave it til tomorrow and you're on your own."

Sam looked at her.

She gave him one of those _your call_ looks.

Sam grabbed her hand.

"_Not_ an option."

Andy laughed. "Then I guess we'd better hit the grocery store and M & M's if there's anything we need from there for tomorrow."

Sam made the decision on the way to the grocery store to get the smallest turkey he could, with the intent to make this Christmas as special as he could … _including_ a traditional Christmas dinner if only on a smaller scale.

Andy was surprised to see Sam buy the turkey.

"I thought we …"

"It's only 5kg, small enough we won't be living on leftovers too long. The rest of it …"

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

They did whatever shopping would see them through New Years before stopping at M & M's. Most of what they got for their little get together would be ready in 20minutes.

"You realize we barely got enough to feed Oliver, not sure what we're gonna feed everybody else!" Sam commented at home as they unpacked.

"Oliver's a big boy, he can share with the rest of the family," Andy laughed.

Christmas Eve dawned and as they rode into the station both Sam and Andy were wondering how to get their gifts without them knowing.

Andy caught up with Traci before Parade. "You're bringing his gift tonight, right?"

"Yeah, I'll put it under the tree when I get there."

Andy hugged her. "Thank you!"

Nick knocked on Sam's door. Sam was gathering papers for Parade.

"Hey man, you want her gifts now or want me to hold onto them til tonight?"

"Bring them tonight. Put them under the tree."

"She won't notice?"

"I'll make sure she doesn't."

"Ok."

Parade was typical til Sam stood up, taking over from Frank.

"I know it's Christmas Eve and we've all got other things, other people on our minds," he smiled at Andy, "but we've still got a job to do, so let's get it done so _we_ can enjoy the holiday like everybody else. And in the spirit of the holiday, we're gonna break the rules - shocking I know - partners of your choice today, _even_ if you have personal relationships," he looked at Nick and Gail, Noelle and Frank then at Andy. "_Everybody_'s on the streets today, Ds included, let's show the streets of Toronto a little love and Christmas cheer!"

Noelle and Frank, Nick and Gail partnered up as Sam made his way to Andy, grabbing her hand they headed out saying they'd see everybody at their place later.

Andy smiled as she waited outside the guys locker room as Sam changed into his uniform. Sam emerged and tried to grab her hand, she backed away from him. "There a problem, McNally?"

"Nope. Just miss seein' you in your uniform."

"Not as much as I miss it. I know there's some that don't like it and think I'm crazy, but there's nothin' like strappin' on Kevlar."

Andy smiled. They could take Sam off the streets and dump him behind a desk but they'd never take the street cop out of him.

Andy laughed as Sam grabbed the keys to a familiar car - cruiser number 1505.

"Some things never change, do they?" she asked as she climbed in.

Sam smiled as he closed the driver's side door, "Why should they?"

This was one day Andy wouldn't mind if it lasted forever. Even before they got together, no matter what kind of day she'd be having, she always enjoyed riding with Sam - they could have a fight, it didn't matter, there was just something about riding together.

Even though the radio was silent all day, it flew by, soon they were going to their respective locker rooms to change.

"You showering here or at home?"

"Home. Gotta change for tonight."

"Ok. See you in 5?"

Andy kissed him. "Or less."


	29. Chapter 29

Sam couldn't believe he was getting dressed up for drinks with friends in his own home. But all he'd got out of Andy when he'd asked what _she_ was wearing so _he_ knew what to wear was a 'you'll see' and 'semi-casual'. So, here he was - black dress pants and a midnight blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up and the top buttons undone.

Usually they dressed together, but tonight Andy sat on the bed and waited as he got dressed, then to his surprise, she kicked his ass out! Saying she would see him downstairs in 20 minutes.

Sam paced the hallway for 20 minutes dyin' to see what she was going to come down the stairs in. Sam heard her heels on the stairs and turned to see her begin her descent. She had on a pair of navy dress pants but that _wasn't_ what caught his attention. What caught his attention was the shimmering midnight blue top. He thought it was beautiful til she stepped off the last step and he pulled her into his arms and he came in contact with bare skin. He forgot about the kiss he'd been about to give her and turned her around to find the only 'back' the top had was the wide ribbing at her waist. A scooped neck in the front, the only way he could describe the sleeves was 'batwing' and backless. She took his breath away.

Turning her back around to face him, he dropped a light kiss on her lips as he said, "You're beautiful."

Andy wrapped her arms around him as she said, "You clean up pretty nicely, yourself."

"Just so we're clear, no one and I mean _no one_ else would _ever_ get me this dressed up in my own home, occasion be damned."

"Well, if you'd rather put on something a little more casual, I _can_ go change …" Andy turned for the stairs.

"Get back here woman! As amazing as you look, there is _no_ way I'm lettin' you change. I can survive the dress pants and shirt if it means you look like that."

Andy laughed. "Does that mean you approve?"

"You could say that."

Sam turned her around to study her back. "Exactly _how_ is that gonna stay _on_?"

Andy laughed. "Strategically placed tape."

Sam groaned. "I _knew_ I shouldn't've asked …"

Andy laughed.

"Ok, I'm gonna go put stuff in the oven so everything's warm when everybody gets here."

"Ok. Need help?"

Just then the doorbell rang.

"Yeah, you can get the door … and keep everybody entertained until I can join you."

Sam laughed. "Ok."

Andy went to the kitchen while Sam went to the door.

Sam opened the door and wasn't surprised to find the first to arrive were Oliver and Zoe, followed by Frank and Noelle, then Nick and Gail, Chris and Dov arrived just before Traci and Leo.

Everybody gathered in the living room and Sam asked about drinks. Everybody but Noelle was having a rum and eggnog. Noelle was pissed because she couldn't drink. So she was surprised when Sam handed her what looked like the same drink everyone else was drinking.

"Sam, I can't …"

"Yeah, ya can, this one was made special for you," he whispered for her ears only.

Noelle smiled. "Thank you."

"Hey Sammy, where's that pretty girl of yours, brother?" Oliver asked after everybody had their drinks.

"Kitchen. She'll join us in a few minutes."

Andy stepped out of the kitchen a few minutes later.

"Merry Christmas, guys … uh, babe, can I borrow you for a minute?"

Sam got up and followed Andy into the kitchen.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, everything's ready. Just not sure what you wanna do. Put everything out in here or set it out in the living room?"

"Let's put it out in here, they can carry their plates to the living room."

"Ok. Just let me get everything put out and you can tell everybody."

Sam put his arms around her. "You're _not_ hiding in here, McNally. Lemme help and _we'll_ tell everybody together."

Andy laughed as she put her arms around his waist and kissed him. "Not hiding. Just want everything done so I can enjoy everybody's company."

"What do you want to drink? Rum and eggnog like everybody else?"

"Yeah, ok."

While Sam and Andy were in the kitchen, Nick and Traci met at the Christmas tree.

"His?"

"Hers?"

Both nodded.

"At least we didn't have to sneak them in," Nick said standing up.

"No kidding. This makes it _so_ much easier. I was afraid I'd have to get Leo involved.

Nick laughed.

As Traci stood up something caught her eye.

"Nick, look."

Nick followed Traci's finger and chuckled when he saw what caught her attention.

"Guys, check it out," Nick said directing their attention to a pair of stockings.

On one of their shopping trips they'd seen two navy blue stockings almost the color of the uniform, Andy had dragged Sam into the store insisting that they get them. When the store owner found out _why_ they wanted the blue she insisted that she be allowed to embroider their names and the Toronto Police Services' crest on them - free of charge. Both Sam and Andy had been shocked and humbled by her kindness and generosity. When they brought them home they had immediately put them on the mantle.

His hand on Andy's back, they walked into the living room. She hadn't really went _in_ the living room the first time, more like a greeting from the kitchen, so no one actually _saw_ her until now. Dov and Chris sat up straighter.

"WOW! Andy, you look amazing. That color suits you perfectly," Traci said as she walked up to hug her.

"Thanks Trac."

"Epstein! Diaz! Quit drooling over my girlfriend," Sam said with a smirk. Andy blushed.

There was a joint "Sorry Sam," from the two single officers.

"There's food in the kitchen, anybody wants it better get there _before_ Shaw."

"Funny, brother, _real_ funny."

"Own it brother."

All of a sudden Traci jumped up.

"Camera. Where's your camera? You _have_ to take pictures."

That gave Sam an idea. He had a _verse_ for Andy's card, but as they stood there surrounded by their friends, their family, he had _no_ idea what to put on the cover … til Nash insisted on pictures.

Sam motioned for Oliver and Nick to meet him outside. Placing a kiss on Andy's lips, Sam told Andy he'd be back in a minute. She wasn't sure where he was going but that was ok.

Outside, Nick and Oliver looked at Sam.

"What the hell are we doin' out here? It's freezing!" Oliver commented.

"I need your help."

"Sam, her gifts are already under the tree."

"I need your help to get her Christmas card …"

"You don't _have_ it yet?! Brother, that's a little last minute …"

"Ollie, I _have_ the verse, I just didn't have a cover … til Nash grabbed the camera. I'm gonna get her to take one of the two of us and then Ollie, I need you to distract her while I upload it, Nick I need _you_ to run to Walmart and pick it up after they print it."

"And just what the hell am I supposed to tell Gail?"

"Let us worry about Peck."

"Ok, fine."

They went back inside to see Traci snap happy with the camera. It should be easy to get the 'perfect' picture of them.

Sam whispered in Traci's ear what he wanted. She smiled. When Andy asked _why_ she needed pictures Traci said they needed to remember their first Christmas Eve together … she took one of Andy on Sam's lap; but her favorite was Sam leaning against the wall, with Andy in his arms, her back showing slightly. Sam's dimples were showing, they were both smiling smiles that they only smiled for each other. She showed it to Sam.

"It's perfect. Thanks, Trac."

"I'm happy to … how're you gonna upload it?"

"Oliver's gonna distract her."

"Need some help?"

"That'd be great. I want this perfect."

"It's from you. It will be."

They got the photo uploaded and placed the order for the card. Nick left to pick it up, returning 10 minutes later. He wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed to know Gail hadn't even noticed.

Everybody was engrossed in conversation when Gail whispered in Nick's ear, "Where'd you go?"

Nick looked at her.

"You, Shaw _and_ Swarek had your heads together, it _had_ to be something for Andy so where did you go?"

"Thought you didn't know I was gone?"

"Yeah, right, of course I did, but if Swarek's got surprises for her I am _not _gonna be the one to ruin them."

Nick laughed before he surprised her by kissing her in front of everyone.

They were alone in the hall after Traci took their picture. Andy got an idea and whispered to Sam.

"I thought you wrapped it already?"

"It's in a gift box, we can open it …"

Sam smiled. "Let's do it."

Andy went to find Traci while Sam went to find Oliver.

Traci had two of the island stools side-by-side when Sam and Oliver walked in the kitchen.

"Ok boys, connect those asses with those stools. Jerry would _kill_ me if I didn't get some pics of you guys together."

She took a couple shots of the boys, including one with an empty stool between them before she told Andy to get in the picture. Andy stood behind them, putting an arm around both Sam and Oliver's shoulders before Oliver grabbed her hand and brought her around in front of them.

"Now McNally, you are _not_ gonna stand back there when Sammy's arms look empty without you in them … you gotta fix that so my brother's got a smile in this next picture."

When Andy looked at Sam he just shrugged and reached for her hand. Instead of sitting in Sam's lap, she stood between his legs the way she did during parade. Traci laughed as she took the picture. "You _do_ realize with the exception of the clothes, that's _exactly_ how you look during parade."

Andy nodded at Traci to print _that_ picture. Sam snuck a golden gift box upstairs.

Suddenly Oliver stood up, heading for their CDs.

"Shaw, what the hell are you up to?" Frank asked

"Checkin' to see if Sammy has any Christmas music stashed here somewhere."

Sam and Andy looked at each other and laughed.

"Have another eggnog, brother."

Oliver looked at Andy.

"Sorry Oliver. I'm sure there's a station on the radio or TV though …"

They spent the rest of the night gathered around the living room, talking and laughing and listening to Christmas music Oliver found.

At about 10:30 Andy excused herself to go clean up the kitchen. The moment she was gone Sam got up. Oliver looked from the kitchen to Sam, not sure which one he should check on first. He decided on McNally. Walking into the kitchen, he wasn't sure what he'd find. He certainly wasn't expecting her to be sitting at the island staring off into space.

Oliver did his best _not_ to startle her, he knew if he _did_ it would piss Sammy off and he didn't want him pissed at Christmas. "Hey, Andy, you ok?"

"Oliver, I need your help …" was her panicked whisper.

"Of course. Anything for you and Sammy, you know that, Andy."

"I need you to put something in his stocking … she handed him a small silver gift box.

"Nope, sorry Oliver, you wanna know what it is, you'll have to ask Sam _after_ Christmas!"

Oliver laughed. They were just too damn cute!

"And _how_ am I supposed to put this in his stocking without him knowing?!"

"Oliver, you're a dad, stockings are _not_ a new concept. If you wanna fill it, go for it."

Oliver kissed her head as he put the box in his pocket. "Ok, ok."

He was coming out of the kitchen when Sam caught his attention. "What's up, brother? Everything ok? Your girl goes one direction, you go another?"

"That's because I don't want her to see this," Sam held out a small silver gift box.

"Gimme that. She's already given me stocking detail."

Sam laughed. "She beat me to it."

"Yeah, brother, she did. You guys are ok?"

"Yeah, man, we're good. Listen, I'm gonna go help her while you … I don't want her missin' out on this when it was her idea to have everybody over."

"Alright, just as long as everything's ok. I mean you went in separate directions, you two _never_ do that!"

"We do when we're trying to surprise each other it seems."

Oliver made quick work of the stockings, making sure to put the gift boxes in first.

Sam and Andy cleaned up the kitchen. Sam freshened up their drinks on their way back to the living room.

"Anybody want a refill?"

Frank and Noelle stood up. "No thanks, man, we gotta head out. This has been fun."

Sam and Andy walked them to the door. 'Merry Christmas's and hugs were exchanged.

Sam closed the door and they walked back into the living room. Traci was trying to get a sleeping Leo ready to go.

"Don't wake him, I'll carry him out."

"Sam, are you sure?"

Sam's response was to pick Leo up and carry him out to the car.

"Can you get him out or do you want me to grab my keys and follow you?"

"Sam, you don't have to, I'll manage somehow …"

Andy was standing at the door and tossed him his keys.

"Be back."

Andy smiled. "I'll be here."

"You better be." He winked at her as he climbed in the truck. Andy was laughing as she closed the door.

Dov and Chris waited til Sam got back to say their goodbyes. Nick and Gail were next. Nick hugged Andy.

"Collins, watch where you put those hands!"

Andy and Nick looked at each other and burst out laughing. Nick held out his hand to Sam.

"Merry Christmas, guys, thanks for including us."

"Of course," Sam and Andy replied, making Nick and Gail laugh. Gail gave Andy a quick hug before hurrying out to the car. Nick hugged Andy one more time before shaking Sam's hand. "Merry Christmas, guys," and he followed Gail out the door. Nick didn't even make it to the car before Sam had the door closed to keep out the now falling snow.

His hand on her back, Sam turned Andy back toward the living room.

Sam sat on the couch and pulled Andy into his lap.

"So what're you two doin' tomorrow?"

"Absolutely nothin', brother … what's goin' on at the Shaw's?"

"Same ol', same."

Andy twisted in Sam's lap to look at him, he nodded and removed his hands, allowing her to get up.

Andy went to the Christmas tree and picked up the envelopes with the Shaw girls names on them as well as a golden gift box with Oliver's name on it.

"Sorry Zoe," Andy said as she handed the box to Oliver before Sam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into his lap.

"It's ok," was Zoe's response as she handed them a green gift box.

"What's this?" Oliver asked taking the box.

"Open it and find out, brother," Sam replied with a laugh.

Oliver lifted the lid and peeled back the tissue paper to find their three smiling faces from earlier that evening in the kitchen looking back at him.

"This your idea, McNally?"

Then something on the frame caught his attention. Inscribed on the bottom were the words -

"_It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends._"

Thanks for always being there for us. Sam & Andy

When he looked up there was a tear in his eye. Clearing his throat, he looked at Sam. "Always, brother, always. Thank you."

Sam cleared his own throat. "Goes both ways, brother."

Smiling at Andy, he said, "McNally, I know I may not always say it or show it, but that goes for you too. You were always the rookie who brought out the dad in me. You _still_ bring it out because of how important you are to my brother, here. As long as I'm on the streets, I will be there to watch over you, to protect you, to do my damndest to bring you safely back to Sammy. As for spending time together like tonight and poker night, I'm the one that needs to thank you for letting me. It does this sucker for happy endings good to know Sammy finally gets his … and I promise, I _will_ remind him of that when he forgets."

There were tears in Andy's eyes when Oliver finished. Her "thank you" was little more than a whisper because of the emotion choking her.

Sam and Oliver cleared their throats again before Oliver said, "Ok, enough with the sappy, sentimental stuff, you guys got a gift of your own to open."

"It was bound to happen with you drinkin' the hard stuff, brother," Sam chuckled.

Andy turned a little so she could look at Sam. "Do you …"

"Go ahead."

"Ok …"

Andy lifted the lid on the green box in her hands and peeled back the tissue paper to find two individual gifts. One addressed to her, the other to Sam. She lifted them out of the outer box and Sam set it aside. She handed him the one that had his name on it.

"Sammy, you're gonna have to let her go long enough to open it, man. I want you to open them together."

Sam sighed and raised an eyebrow at his friend but shifted Andy so they could do as he asked and open them together. They peeled the paper off and looked at him.

"You bought us cell phone cases? The ones we have aren't good enough?" Sam asked.

"Open 'em and see."

So they did … they looked like your run of the mill cell cases until they pulled them out and looked at them - they were personalized. Seeing the personalization, they looked at each other and laughed.

"Really, brother?"

"It fits, don't it?"

Andy couldn't stop smiling. It wasn't their first names or even their individual last names, instead, both cases were personalized with _McSwarek_.

"It's perfect, Oliver. Thank you."

She got up and hugged him before grabbing their cell phones and putting hers in its new case. Oliver smiled when Andy sat back down and Sam handed her the case.

They talked and laughed a little longer with Sam and Oliver each recalling a Christmas past with Jerry. They had intentionally avoided any talk of Jerry while Traci had been there, trying not to make the holiday any harder than they knew it already was.

Soon Sam and Andy were standing arms around each other's waist at the door.

"Merry Christmas, brother."

"Merry Christmas, brother. Give the girls a hug for me. We'll call tomorrow."

"Alright, man. Now, let go of her so _I _can give her a hug and leave you two alone," Oliver nodded towards Andy, making Sam laugh. He held up both hands. "Alright brother." Andy laughed as Oliver gave her a hug and wished her Merry Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Oliver. Thank you … for everything."

"Anytime. Enjoy tomorrow. Say hi to Dad for me when you see him and I'll see you both in a couple days. Better go before the wife leaves without me."

Sam and Andy laughed as they watched Oliver run to the car.

Sam closed the door. As they walked back to the living room he could hear the radio still playing. He had _no_ idea what station Shaw had put it on, didn't really care, it had just been background noise more or less all night.

The kitchen was clean, the living room on the hand, showed signs of their friends presence. Sam gathered the glasses and carried them to the sink. Andy walked up behind Sam and put her arms around him. Kissing the back of his shirt, she asked, "Need help?"

Sam touched her hand as he said, "Nah, there's not enough to bother tonight, just everybody's glasses. We'll do 'em tomorrow."

"If there isn't that many, let's do it now, so we don't _have_ to do them tomorrow."

"Haven't you done enough cleaning up for one night?"

"But once they're done, that's it, there's nothin' left. And we get to just relax and not think about it."

Sam sighed. "Alright. But _I'm_ doing the dishes, you did enough tonight!"

Andy laughed as she kissed his back again and said, "Ok."

Sam turned around and dropped a kiss on her lips before pointing to the closest island stool. Andy shook her head and laughed as she sat down. Less than 10 minutes after filling the sink, Sam let the water out, the glasses washed. Andy jumped off the stool and put them away as Sam dried them. Once they were all put away Sam turned out the kitchen lights and led Andy back to the living room. Sitting on the couch, he pulled her into his lap.

"Hi."

Andy kissed him. "Hi."

"In case I _didn't_ say it earlier, thank you. Tonight was incredible. Those guys are my best friends, my family, but excluding Oliver, not including the Penny, I don't spend much time with them outside the barn. Tonight made me realize we need to change that."

"Yeah, we do."

Sam didn't even realize it til that moment, that sometime over the course of the night somebody had started a fire in the fireplace. He laughed to himself, most likely Oliver. Between the fire and the tree, they didn't need all the lights on, Sam wondered where she was going when Andy got up and flipped the switch turning them off.

Walking back to the couch, Andy slipped off her heels before curling up on the couch beside Sam. Sam wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Tired?"

"Hmmm? No, not really. Just glad everybody's gone."

Sam pushed Andy away to look at him. "What? Baby, _why_ didn't you say somethin'? I thought you _enjoyed_ tonight?"

"I _did_, babe. But that _doesn't_ mean I'm not glad it's over and we're alone."

Sam visibly relaxed. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sam wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against him.

The gentle sounds of a piano and fiddle caught Sam's attention and he got to his feet. Andy was about to ask where he was going when he held out his hand. Sam pulled her into his arms as the song on the radio filled the air -

_Turn out the lights  
We just need the lights from the tree  
The kids are in bed  
Baby it's just you and me  
Side by side, the fire is bright, on this oh so blessed night_

The gifts lyin' there  
Cannot compare with the love you give  
Sealed with a kiss  
For as long as I live  
Ribbons and bows, could never show, all that I want you know

I want to take you in my arms tonight  
And keep the fire burnin' bright  
'Cause if the best things in life are free  
There's nothin' you could buy for me  
Your presence is enough  
Wrap me in your love

Look into the night  
There's a star in the sky that I see  
It's come so far  
To shine its light for you and me  
As if it knows, I'm holding you close, underneath the mistletoe

I want to take you in my arms tonight  
And keep the fire burnin' bright  
'Cause if the best things in life are free  
There's nothin' you could buy for me  
Your presence is enough  
Wrap me in your love

Your presence is enough  
Wrap me in your love

As the final notes faded Sam kissed Andy and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you."

They stood there in the soft twinkling lights of the Christmas tree mixed with the warm glow of the fireplace, content in each other's arms.

Sam reached for the stereo remote and shut it off before taking Andy's hand and leading her upstairs.

Once upstairs, Sam wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you are, tonight?"

Andy laughed softly. "Once or twice."

"Well I'm telling you _again_."

Andy laughed again and kissed him. "Thank you."

"Now, exactly _how_ do I get you _out_ of this …" he touched her top.

Andy laughed as she took his hands and helped him. Sam peeled the top off her as gently as he could. He grabbed a t-shirt as Andy finished getting undressed. Raising her arms, she laughed as Sam pulled his shirt over her head before pulling her hair into a ponytail and leading her to the bathroom.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What're you doing?"

"Getting you ready for bed," he replied as he ran water in the sink.

Andy couldn't help but smile as she took her makeup off while Sam got undressed. Sam flipped off the light and led her to bed.

They crawled in bed and fell asleep - as the song said - wrapped in each other's love.


	30. Chapter 30

They didn't set an alarm, but were awakened Christmas morning by the sound of a phone ringing. Checking the time, Sam wondered who the hell would be calling before 8 a.m. on Christmas, then it dawned on him … Sami.

He tried not to wake Andy, but heard her ask, "Who the hell is that?" as he got out of bed. Laughing, he replied, "_That_, would be your niece."

"Nope, sorry, I don't _have_ any nieces. Only child, remember?"

Sam leaned over and kissed her. "Yeah, you do. You got this one when you got involved with me."

Andy wrapped her arms around him. "Yeah, well, until I've had coffee, she's _your_ niece!"

Sam laughed and pulled her out of bed.

"What're you doin'?"

"Well, _I_ have to phone _our_ niece back and since she gonna wanna talk to _you_ I'm doing her a favor and waking you up first."

"I _am_ awake. This just isn't quite what I had in mind …"

"And what _did_ you have in mind?"

"Doesn't matter now."

Wrapping his arms around her, he rested his forehead against hers as he said, "It _always_ matters to me."

Andy wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

Sam could tell from her kiss what she'd had in mind. Breaking the kiss, he whispered, "Sami can wait," as he reached for the hem of his shirt …

A couple hours later they called Sami as they waited for the coffee. Sami answered the phone. "Merry Christmas!"

Sam laughed as he said, "Merry Christmas, Princess."

"Uncle Sammy! I tried to call _you_!"

"I know you did, but Uncle Sammy was still in bed sleepin' when _you_ called."

"OOPS! Sorry!"

Sam laughed. "It's ok, Princess."

"Where's Aunt Andy?"

Right here, why? Wanna talk to her?"

He could almost _see_ her jump up and down as she said, "Yeah!"

Sam chuckled as he passed Andy the phone. Andy smiled as Sam handed her the phone.

"Hey sweetie. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Aunt Andy!"

Sam wrapped his arms around her and listened as Sami rhymed off all the things she'd gotten for Christmas.

"What did _you_ get?" she asked when she was finished.

"I don't know. Uncle Sammy and I haven't opened our presents yet."

"_Why?!_"

"Because we called you first."

"But they're _presents_ , you _need_ to open _presents_!"

Sam and Andy laughed. They wished her a 'Merry Christmas' before disconnecting the call. Sam poured their coffees and they walked into the living room.

Sam set their coffees on the table and turned the stereo back on, Christmas music filled the air as he sat on the couch and pulled Andy into his lap.

"So what do you wanna do first?"

Andy's response was to get up. Going to the mantle, she brought Sam's stocking to him.

"I think you forgot somethin'," Sam said pointing to the one she'd left hanging. Andy laughed as she went back to get hers.

Oliver had filled their stockings with chocolate, a mini bottle of scotch in Sam's, tequila in Andy's and a few other things. The matching silver gift boxes made them laugh.

Sam nodded toward it. "Open it."

Andy smiled as she picked it up and lifted the lid. Her smile was replaced by tears when she saw what was inside.

Nestled on a bed of cotton were the keys to the truck that she'd thrown at him at the station after he'd asked for them back.

"Sam …"

"I know, I asked for them back, but they don't belong to me anymore, they're yours, it's time _you_ got them back."

There were tears in Andy's eyes, she didn't know what to say, so she kissed him and whispered, "Thank you," before motioning for him to open _his_ silver box.

Sam lifted the lid and looked at Andy. Sitting in the box in his hand was a Christmas ornament in the shape of the Toronto Police Services badge with _Our 1__st__ Christmas_ at the top, _2012_ at the bottom, and the middle, instead of their names, were two very special numbers _8722_ and _6114_.

Sam kissed her. "Thank you … You gonna put it on the tree?" he asked handing it to her.

Andy got up and hung the ornament on the tree before bending down to pick up a gift. Walking back to the couch, she said, "I went first with the gifts in our stockings, you go first opening the big gift," handing him the package she'd brought.

"Then I guess I don't need to open this," he said taking the gift and setting it next to him, "because the greatest gift I got this Christmas is standing in front of me."

Andy blushed.

Sam laughed as he pulled her down on the couch next to him.

Picking up the gift, he peeled back the wrapping paper and stopped mid-motion as the word _RUSH_ appeared and he turned to look at Andy.

Laughing softly, she said, "Well? Are you gonna open it or not?"

Sam finished peeling the paper off to find a copy of the _RUSH_ coffee table book.

"Andy …"

"Look at it before you say anything."

Sam looked at her suspiciously. "What're you up to, McNally?"

"You're suspicious of a Christmas present? Really babe?"

"Andy, _what_ did you do?"

Andy leaned over and kissed his cheek as she said, "Open it and see."

Sam looked at her but did as she asked. He was flipping through the pages when something that looked like a bookmark caught his attention. He pulled it out and was stunned to see that it wasn't a bookmark but a pair of tickets to the _RUSH_ concert, the long weekend in May.

"Baby, you didn't …"

"You said you wanted to go …"

"I do, but _you_ didn't have to buy the tickets."

"Yes, I did. It's our first Christmas together. I _had_ to get you something special."

"Did you not hear me when I said you were the greatest gift I could've asked for?"

"Well, if you don't _want_ the tickets, I'm sure we can find someone …"

"Don't even think about it. Because _you_ are going to that concert with me."

Andy laughed. "If you say so."

"I do. The book is great. The tickets are fantastic. You, you're unbelievable. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Sam kissed her as he got to his feet. walking to the tree he picked up 3 gifts - 2 smaller boxes sitting on top of a larger one - and brought them to the couch. He was grateful Nick had told him which of the smaller gifts was the first and which was the last.

Andy looked at Sam a little confused when he didn't give her all of the gifts in his hands but rather handed her one of the small boxes before sitting back down beside her, placing the other gifts at his feet.

Andy opened the box to find a simple white gold chain bracelet.

Sam picked up the biggest of the 3 gifts and handed it to her. Andy took the gift and set it in her lap, looking from it to Sam and back again.

"What was it you said? Are you gonna open it or not?" Sam teased.

Peeling the paper, Andy encountered a box. Lifting the lid, she let Sam take it from her, placing it on the coffee table. Andy peeled back the tissue paper to reveal a navy blue leather scrapbook. There was a silver plaque glued to the front, it read:

_8722 & 6114_

_Partners: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow … Forever, For Always_

"What's this?"

"Open it and see."

It wasn't lost on Andy that that was what she'd said to him.

She lifted the scrapbook out, Sam moved the bottom of the box; Andy set the scrapbook in her lap and opened the cover to find a handwritten note -

_McNally -_

_A few of our most memorable moments when you 'charmed' my heart._

_All my love,_

_Sam_

There were tears in Andy's eyes when she looked up to meet Sam's.

Sam kissed her cheek. "You haven't even got passed the first page yet, baby, don't do that …"

Andy tried to blink them away but a tear fell anyway. Sam wiped it away.

Andy turned the page to find another handwritten note accompanied by a white gold charm in the shape of a lock. The note read -

_And so the story begins …_

… _with a broken lock._

_Who knew your 1st day you wouldn't only break the lock on the door of that room but also on a heavily guarded heart._

Andy carefully peeled off the little Ziploc bag that held the charm before turning the page.

She laughed when she saw the charm - a pair of handcuffs.

_You had quite a 1st day …_

_It wasn't enough you broke the lock on it, but you arrested my heart when you arrested me._

She gently removed the Ziploc for charm #2, handing it to Sam before turning the page.

_We both carry the shield because of family._

_You started out carrying on the family tradition of badge #616 before coming into your own … and me, well, I wanted to protect mine._

_We came at them different, but they brought us together …_

She smiled as she removed the Ziploc containing charm #3 - a badge - before turning the page.

_Speaking of getting together …_

_The blackout. Not a day - or night - we'll ever forget … for more reasons than 1._

_We knew it was just a matter of time …_

Andy looked at the little flashlight. There weren't a lot of good memories about that day, that night - except Sam.

As always, he'd been there for her when she needed him.

She gently peeled charm #4 off before turning the page.

_A good T.O teaches their rookie many things, but how to fix their coffee? That was something that was never asked of you … you just did it. You never expected it, but it was only fair to return the favor. A love of coffee, just one on a list of things we had in common from the beginning …_

Charm #5 was a coffee cup making Andy laugh as she removed it and turned the page, curious to see what was next.

_A rookie, 6 months out of the academy and you volunteered to go under … to back me up. There are no words to say how proud I was of you or how grateful I was that you were there … you saved my life that night … and made it worth saving every day since …_

The charm was a mermaid, in reference to when they'd posed as Gabe and Edie at the Mermaid Lounge.

There were tears in her eyes as she peeled off the charm, handing it to Sam.

"Are you _really _gonna do this to me?"

"Do what?"

"Make me cry on Christmas."

Sam laughed. "You're not done yet."

"I'm not sure I can …"

Sam kissed her cheek. "Yeah, you can."

Andy took a deep breath and turned the page … and burst out laughing at his note -

_What can I say? You managed to get me to hand over my keys … on more than one occasion! Oh, it was also where you told me you loved me for the 1st time …_

Charm #7 was a pickup truck. She was still laughing as she peeled it off and handed it to Sam.

Turning the page, Andy was surprised to see a tiny pair of boxing gloves.

_One of my favorite moments …_

_Typical McNally, you tried to make everyone believe you were 'fine' … I knew you too well … Yeah, what took us to the mats that day was nothing to smile about, but by the time we walked out, my goal had been accomplished - there was a smile on your beautiful face once more …_

Smiling, she peeled the Ziploc containing charm #8 off before turning the page.

His message for charm #9 - a piece of candy - made her laugh as the memory came back …

_Bet you didn't think I got your message, did ya? I got it after I got my phone back … Gotta tell ya, baby, I'm not sure anyone's ever referred to me as 'good candy' before …_

They _didn't_ get those 3 weeks, but as she peeled the charm off handing it to Sam before turning the page, she thought they certainly made other memories …

And those memories were symbolized in white gold on the next page in a tiny pool table.

_It's hard to say who was more surprised when we turned around and saw each other that night. Looking back, it's easy to say the good far outweighs any bad from those few days …_

Andy added the pool table to the handful that Sam already had before turning yet another page.

Her hand stilled. The message was simple …

_'I love you' …_

Charm #11 was a grenade.

Her hand trembled slightly as she tried to get the charm off. Sam ended up pulling it off so she didn't rip the page.

Flipping the page brought a sad smile when she saw the next charm. She thought of Jerry and Oliver … until she saw his note -

_What's the saying? 'Never bet against your girl'? My money's on you every time …_

The charm was a deck of cards. Andy leaned over and kissed him as she gave Sam the charm for the 'collection'.

"Am I done yet?"

"No."

"Sam …"

"Just turn the page, woman …"

So she did … and she smiled at the charm.

It was a Christmas tree with '1st' on it and the message read -

_This may not be our 1st first Christmas as partners, but it is our 1st Christmas together. Wanted you to have something to remember it by …_

There were tears in her eyes again.

"Don't do that. I'm not done."

"Oh my God, Sam …"

"Open this before you turn the page," and he handed her the final box.

With trembling hands, Andy took the box. Taking a deep breath, she opened it to find another charm. She turned to the final page of the scrapbook to read the message -

_Because you've always had and will always have the key to my heart._

_I love you._

The charm, a 'key to my heart'.

Andy couldn't fight the tears anymore. Sam wrapped his arms around her.

After a few minutes she said softly, "I can't believe you did that."

"Did what, baby?"

"Went to all that trouble. I mean not only did you put _us_ in charms, each one was hand-written! When did you even have _time_ to do that? You didn't do it here at home …"

"Of course I didn't do it here, I wanted it to be a surprise … I did it at the barn while you were out with Collins … and it _wasn't_ 'trouble', baby, I _wanted_ to do it."

Andy leaned up to kiss him. "Thank you. It's …" she trailed off as emotion filled her voice. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "It's amazing. I love it … and I love _you_. Thank you."

She rested her head on his shoulder. Sam held her for a few minutes before he asked, "You ok?"

"Hmmm? Yeah."

"Andy …"

"Babe, I'm ok."

"Are you? Because I _know_ some of our memorable moments don't hold the best memories for _you_."

Andy knew he was referring to the blackout when she'd shot and killed a man.

"You're right, they don't, but they all have one thing in common - you. And even if the event it represents does hold a bad memory, how could I possibly think of it, instead of you after these?" she picked up a couple of the charms. "Don't think I don't know that's why you did it babe … Thank you."

Sam smiled. She was right, that _was_ why he did it.

Andy's phone rang. She smiled when she saw Traci's name on the I.D. Sam smiled when she showed him the I.D, "You talk to Traci and Leo, I'll be in the kitchen …"

"Ok."

Sam got up and kissed her before he left and Andy answered the phone.

"Merry Christmas, Trac."

After a few minutes she walked into the kitchen. "Babe, you're wanted on the phone …" she mouthed _Leo_ as Sam washed his hands and winked at her, taking the phone.

"Merry Christmas, buddy. Was Santa good to you?"

Andy listened as Sam talked to Leo about what he'd gotten and what they were doing for Christmas. She didn't dare try to help while he was on the phone, he'd told her in _no_ uncertain terms that _he_ was cooking for Christmas, so she refilled their coffee. She had just set his down and put her arm around his waist when Sam smiled and said, "Hey Trac, Merry Christmas … How ya doin'?" Sam talked to Traci for a few minutes before handing the phone back to Andy. By the time Andy wished Traci 'Merry Christmas' one last time and hung up, Sam was finishing up and washing his hands. He had just wrapped his arms around her when the phone rang again … this time it was his, Oliver.

"Merry Christmas, brother."

"Merry Christmas, brother … where's that girl of yours?"

Sam laughed as he handed Andy the phone. "Evidently he didn't call to talk to me," and wrapped both arms around her again.

Andy laughed as she said, "Merry Christmas, Oliver."

They talked for a few minutes before the Shaw girls demanded to talk to Uncle Sammy. Sam took the phone back only to hear a chorus of three say, "Merry Christmas, Uncle Sammy! Thank you!" making him laugh.

"Merry Christmas, girls. You're welcome." Sam went on to talk to the Shaw girls for a few minutes before Oliver kicked them off the phone. A chorus of "But Dad," greeted his order to hang up. "No buts, he has other things to do today than talk to you." Sam laughed.

"Listen man, just called to say Merry Christmas. I love you, brother."

"Merry Christmas. Me too brother." Sam hung up as Andy's phone rang.

He seriously wondered what the hell happened that their phones suddenly couldn't stop ringing and was grateful they had waited until _after_ she'd finished opening her gift to go crazy.

Andy shrugged as she answered the call, "Merry Christmas, Dad."

Sam smiled, even though they were getting together tomorrow, he was glad they at least got to talk today. He was a little surprised when Andy handed him the phone. "Merry Christmas, Tommy."

"Merry Christmas, Sam … my girl sounds happy, just wanted to say thank you."

Sam winked at Andy and smiled as he said, "It's my pleasure. Have a great day, Tommy … we'll see you tomorrow." Sam hung up and turned her phone off and was about to turn his off when it rang again. Sam checked the caller I.D before handing it to her. "This is it. I'm turning it off after Collins." Andy laughed as she answered, "Merry Christmas, Nick."

"Merry Christmas … I know Sam probably wants to confiscate the phones, just wanted to call and wish you a Merry Christmas."

Andy laughed. "Yeah, it's been non-stop, if it wasn't mine ringing it was his, we're _both_ ready to shut them off."

Nick laughed. "Let me wish him a 'Merry Christmas' then you can shut them off and throw them in a drawer until tomorrow." Andy laughed as she handed the phone over.

"Don't kill me, man, just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

Sam laughed. "Merry Christmas, man. Enjoy the day."

"You too," and Nick hung up.

Sam hung up and turned it off before it could ring again. Andy laughed.

"I've shared you with the rest of the world as much as I'm going to today."

Andy laughed as they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Ok, you've shut out the rest of the world, what've you got in mind for the rest of the day?"

"Just you and me …" Sam kissed her before turning her towards the living room "… first thing we gotta do is put the pieces together so it actually _looks_ like a bracelet …"

Andy smiled.

In the living room, Sam sat down and pulled her into his lap. Andy laughed.

Andy slipped off Sam's lap as she reached for the boxed with the bracelet in it. Sam took it as Andy took the lock out of its bag and handed it to him to attach to the bracelet. Thirteen charms later, Sam closed the clasp on the bracelet … on Andy's wrist and kissed her, "Merry Christmas, baby." There were tears in her eyes again as she whispered, "Thank you," playing with the charms now hanging off her wrist.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Hmmm? Nothin'."

"Andy, what's wrong?"

There's nothing _wrong_ …"

"Then what's bothering you and _don't_ tell nothin' 'cause I can see it and I can _feel_ it."

"It's not a watch or even a ring …"

"No, it's not."

"I don't think I've ever wished I did something else more than I do right now …"

"What? Why?"

"Because if I was someone else then I wouldn't have to take it off …"

"Baby, if you were someone else there wouldn't _be _a bracelet …"

"But I can't wear it during shift …"

"Why not?"

"Because I won't chance something happening to it."

"So take it off after parade and put it back on after shift."

"There's _no_ way I'm leaving this in my locker, babe …"

"So don't. Leave it with me."

"You're gonna carry my bracelet all day?"

Sam kissed her cheek. "If it means you don't worry about it, yeah, I will."

"Thank you."

"Come here," Sam pulled her back against him, "you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah."

"What is it, baby?"

"Just thinkin'."

"Imagine that. What about?"

You never fail to amaze me."

Sam laughed softly. "Why's that?"

"It's just you and me, and yet you managed to make this _the_ best Christmas I've ever had … Thank you. I love you."

Sam hugged her. "You're welcome ... I love you."

Andy wrapped her arms around his waist. "What're we gonna do now?"

"Anything you want."

Andy got up and reached for his guitar, making Sam laugh.

Andy smiled. "You said anything and I haven't heard you play in _days_."

Sam laughed as he sat on the arm of the couch and took the guitar from her.

"What do you wanna hear?"

Curling up on the couch, she replied, "I don't care as long as you play …"

Sam laughed as he took the pick from the neck and started to play along with whatever was on the radio. He played along with a few songs before leaning the guitar against the coffee table.

"Happy?"

"Very."

Sam checked his watch surprised it was almost time to head to the kitchen. What _really_ surprised him was he hadn't spoken to Sarah today. He sat on the couch facing Andy and put his hands on her waist.

"I know I said it was just gonna be us for the rest of the day, but baby, I _can't_ let the day go without talking to Sarah …"

Andy got up and went to the kitchen, bringing Sam's phone, she handed it to him with a kiss.

"Call her."

Sam pulled her into his lap. "Thank you."

Sam turned his phone on and was grateful there weren't a bunch of messages, disappointed there wasn't one from his sister. He dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.

"Merry Christmas, Sammy."

"Merry Christmas, Sis."

"Wasn't sure I'd hear from you today …"

"No matter what, we _always_ talk on Christmas, you _know_ that."

"Considering the last time we talked, I wasn't sure …"

"Don't go there, not today."

"How many times do I have to apologize?"

"Dammit, Sarah, not today!"

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry … How has your day been?"

Sam looked at Andy and smiled as he said, "Perfect … yours?"

"Missed you, but other than that it's been good."

"Missed you too."

"How's Andy?"

"Perfect."

Sarah laughed. "Think she'd let me wish her a 'Merry Christmas'?"

"Hang on." Sam put his hand over the phone.

"Baby, she wants to wish you a 'Merry Christmas', but it's your call, you don't _have_ to talk to her."

"Babe, it's ok."

Sam handed her the phone.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah."

"Hi Andy, I won't keep you, I know that brother of mine probably has plans that _don't_ include phones, I just wanted to say 'Merry Christmas'."

"Thank you. Enjoy the rest of the day, here's Sam."

Sam took the phone back and ended the call with, "Merry Christmas, Sis. I love you," before hanging up.

Andy put her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest as she asked, "You ok?"

Wrapping his arms around her, Sam kissed her temple as he said, "Never better."

Andy giggled.

Sam rubbed her back. "You ok?"

Yeah."

"You gonna come keep me company while I finish gettin' supper ready?"

Andy leaned up and kissed him. "If you want me to."

Sam got up with her in his arms and set Andy to her feet.

Their first Christmas dinner together and they were still in their pajamas? Sam grabbed her hand and headed upstairs to shower and change. It was just the two of them yet they both got dressed up. Before he met her, if _anyone_ had told Sam he'd do the things he did for her he woulda said they were certifiable, yet here he was …

After supper Andy offered to clean up since Sam had cooked but he wouldn't hear of it.

"Deal's off for Christmas."

Andy laughed.

After he finished cleaning up, he led her back into the living room. They curled up on the couch for awhile, just listening to the Christmas music.

Suddenly Andy jumped up.

"Baby where you goin'?"

Andy grabbed an envelope off the mantle and brought it back to the couch.

Sam smiled as _he_ did the same.

Sitting back down, they smiled and handed each other the envelopes.

Sam nodded toward the envelope in Andy's hand. Andy looked at the envelope then back Sam before she asked, "Is this gonna make me cry?"

Sam kissed her. "Open it and find out …"

Opening the envelope, Andy was shocked to see their picture from the night before with the words-

_To the One I Love as We Share the Holiday Season_

Andy looked at Sam with tear-filled eyes.

"Baby, you haven't even _read_ it yet …"

Andy opened the card, she was crying by the time Sam took it from her hand.

The card read-

_"What if we had never met?  
What would I be doing?  
What kind of life would I have?_

_I often think about these things  
and I always come to the same_

_conclusion Without you  
I would be an extremely unhappy person  
living an unhappy life._

_I know that we met for a reason  
and that reason was that  
you and I were meant to be  
in love with each other._

_You and I were meant to be  
a team giving us strength  
to function happily in the world._

_I am so thankful that things  
turned out the way they did  
and we were brought together._

_You are my world  
You are my love"_

~ Poem by Susan Polis Schutz

Merry Christmas

I Love You,

Sam

Sam took the card out of her hand and set it on the table. Andy nodded to the envelope in _his _hand. "Your turn."

Sam smiled as he opened the envelope. It was a navy blue card with a poinsettia centerpiece, written in white were the words -

_Thank you for Being a Special Part of My Life This Christmas_

Sam looked at Andy as he opened the card.

By the time he finished, and looked up, there were tears in _his_ eyes. His card from her, read-

_You know when someone special touches your life ..._

_They always know just the right thing to say or do;_  
_They can make you feel better just by being near;_  
_They listen with an open heart and understand;_  
_They laugh with you when you're happy;_  
_They share your tears when you're sad;_  
_They are there beside you whenever you feel alone;_  
_They extend their hand when you need support;_  
_They are proud of all that you've accomplished;_  
_They love you just because you're you._

_You know when someone special touches your life ..._  
_and my life was touched the day that I met you._

Merry Christmas

I Love You,

Andy

"Andy …"

Andy took his hands.

"Right from day one, not day one when we first met, but day one when Boyko partnered us as rookie and T.O, those words were true.

Then I wasn't a rookie and we were partners and they were still true.

Then things changed … but they didn't, because you _still_ embody _everything_ that card says.

I'll never be able to tell you how much that meant, how much it will _always_ mean … or how much I love you."

Sam couldn't speak so he didn't, he simply stood up and pulled her into his arms as the sound of a guitar filled the air …

_She can shop all over town, turn the gift shops upside down  
Findin' something for her man with everything  
But it's right behind her eyes and no matter what she buys  
She'll always be the finest gift she brings_

_Every year it's never missed, should be at_  
_The top of every list_  
_It can never be outdone, it's the perfect_  
_gift for everyone_

_It's in everything you'll see scattered_  
_underneath our tree_  
_You can hear it in the carols that we sing_  
_It's the heart of love's design and it_  
_Appreciates with time_  
_And she'll always be the finest gift she brings_

_Every year it's never missed, should be at_  
_The top of every list_  
_It can never be outdone, it's the perfect_  
_gift for everyone_

_Now It's not in any store and she could_  
_Never give me more_  
_Than her promise of the finest gift she brings_  
_I know her love's the finest gift she brings_

Sam stood there and held her, neither saying anything as the song finished. In the silence between songs, Sam whispered, "I love you."


	31. Chapter 31

Boxing Day dawned and they got ready for work. They took a change of clothes and Tommy's gift so they could change after shift and go to her dad's straight from the barn.

Andy showered, changed and stepped out of the locker room to find a showered and changed Sam leaning against the wall waiting for her.

"Lookin' good detective," she said walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You certainly do," he said with a smile as he kissed her. "Ready?"

"When you are."

Sam took her hand. "Let's go."

Twenty minutes later they pulled up outside Tommy's. Sam helped Andy out and grabbed Tommy's gift from the back. Andy knocked on her dad's door. Tommy welcomed them inside, taking their coats.

"Can I get you anything to drink?"

Both Sam and Andy declined. They had a short visit before they ate, and after supper Andy told her dad she would clean up. Sam offered to help.

"Nope, you visit with my dad, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Sam kissed her and went out to keep Tommy company.

"I've _never_ seen my girl like this, Sam."

"Like what, Tommy?"

"Happy. In love. And I have _you_ to thank for it."

"No, Tommy, I'm the one that needs to thank you. You raised _the_ most incredible woman I've ever met. I never would've thought it possible, but every day I fall even more in love with her. I told her I couldn't imagine my life without her and I can't. Hell, I don't _want_ to! I'll spend the rest of my life making her happy if she'll let me."

"If ever there was a question about how you feel about my little girl, Sam, there isn't now and I couldn't be happier. I know you haven't asked for it, but when the time comes and you ask my little girl … know you've got my blessing."

Sam was shocked. He knew at _some_ point he would have this conversation with Andy's dad but he never dreamed it would happen here or now!

"Thank you. You have no idea what that means."

"Just so you know, Luke didn't ask, and even if did, he wouldn't've got it. He's already married - to his badge. I don't want that for my little girl."

Sam couldn't help but smile.

"Besides, a blind detective could see this coming!"

Sam laughed. "That obvious, was it?"

"What was obvious?" Andy asked as she joined them.

Tommy smiled as Sam held open his arm and Andy sat in his lap. He'd _never_ seen her do that with _anyone_ before. Just another example of the trust Andy had when it came to Sam.

"Nothin' you need to worry about sweetheart."

Andy looked back and forth between the men in her life. _What_ had she missed?

Pointing to the gift Sam had put under the tree, Andy said, "Go ahead, open it."

Tommy leaned the gift against the table and peeled the envelope off and pulled the card out and smiled.

A dark green card with a snow-covered scene and the words -

_From Both of Us_

_With Our Love and Warm Wishes at Christmas and Always_

He opened it and smiled as he read -

_You're so special to us both - one of us because you're Dad and the other because you're You._

_All through the year we both feel really lucky to have such a very special dad like you._

_So we're wishing you a lovely Christmas because no one could deserve it more._

_Merry Christmas._

It was signed by both of them.

"She let you read it before you signed it?"

Sam laughed. "I was there when she bought it."

Tommy shook his head as he reached for the gift.

The first picture he saw was one taken the day she'd graduated the academy. He smiled as he uncovered a collection of pictures. Some were of the two of them, some of her and the other rookies, there was even a few of her and Sam. Something in the corner caught his eye - his old badge.

"I thought …"

"I got it back from Frank …"

Tommy stood up, Andy also got to her feet so her dad could hug her before shaking Sam's hand.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"You wouldn't tell me what to get you, so …" and he handed them an envelope before sitting back down.

Andy looked at Sam who shrugged.

She looked at her dad as she pulled a cranberry red card out of the envelope. The scene on the front, snowflakes. Written in white were the words -

_For a Loving Daughter and Her Husband_

"Family ties make Christmastime more special."

Andy and Sam looked at each other, then at Tommy.

It was little more than a whisper, when Andy said, "Dad …"

"You are, aren't you?"

Sam took the card from Andy and opened it. Inside, he found cash and the words -

_Families are sources  
of wonderful things,  
And one of the best by far  
Is the love of a daughter  
and son-in-law  
As special as both of you are..._

So you shouldn't be  
surprised today  
To open this and find  
The thoughts and wishes  
that it brings  
Are the warm and loving kind!

_Merry Christmas!_

"Tommy …" Sam handed the card back to Andy to read. She handed the money to Sam.

"Go out for dinner on your old man."

There were tears in Andy's eyes when she finished reading the card, it was signed simply, _Dad_.

She stood up and gave her dad another hug. "Thank you."

They left a little while later since both were on duty the next day.


	32. Chapter 32

The next few days flew by and before Andy knew it, it was New Year's Eve and she had _no_ idea what, if anything, they were doing to celebrate their first New Year's together. It was _way_ too late to invite anybody to the house. She was kinda surprised when Sam said they had plans.

"We do?"

"We do."

"What're we doin'?"

"Goin' out."

"Where?"

"The Penny's New Year's party."

"What should I wear?"

"I kinda liked what you wore Christmas Eve …"

Andy laughed. "Really? I never woulda guessed."

Sam laughed.

"But, the question is, are you gonna let me out in _public _wearin' that top?"

"I think it's safe to say the crowd we're gonna be with can be trusted."

Andy laughed as she kissed him.

"Baby, have you talked to Traci, lately?"

"Not really, why?"

"So you don't know if she has any plans tonight?"

"If she has any, they're probably to stay home, why?"

"Because _that_ plan's _not_a plan. Call her, tell her to meet us at the Penny."

"She won't go for it, babe."

"She either meets us there or we pick her up because she _is_ gonna be there."

"Babe, it's her first without Jerry …"

"And he would kill me if he thought I was lettin' her sit at home alone."

"She'll use our first New Year's together as an excuse _not_ to go …"

"Baby, that's no excuse, we're not gonna be alone."

"I know, but …"

"No buts, either you call her or I will."

Andy dialed Traci's number and handed the phone to Sam. "Don't say I didn't warn you …"

Sam smiled as he put his arm around her and waited for Nash to pick up.

"Hey Sam, what's up?"

"Hey Trac, what're you doin' tonight?"

"Stayin' home why?"

"Because Andy and I are goin' to the Penny."

"Not tonight Sam. It's your first New Year's together …"

"And if Jerry was here we'd be spendin' it with you."

"But he's _not_ here …"

"And _that_ is why you're gonna spend tonight with us."

"Sam …"

"Don't make me pick you up, Traci."

"You wouldn't?"

"Damn right I would and I _will_ …"

"Is Andy ok with me taggin' along?"

Sam handed Andy the phone. "Hey Trac, see ya tonight?"

"Sweetie, are you sure this is ok? I mean it's your first New Year's Eve together."

"First or tenth, it doesn't matter, we'd be spending it with you anyway."

"Can't promise I'll stay long, but tell that guy of yours I'll meet you there."

"You tell him," and Andy handed the phone back to Sam.

"Tell me what?"

"I'll meet you there."

Sam smiled. "Good."

The day went fairly quickly, soon they were showering and changing for their night out.

Because they would be drinking they had agreed not to drive in that morning, instead opting to take a cab to the barn since they would be taking one home from the Penny. Sam helped Andy out, paid the driver and wished him a 'Happy New Year' before they headed for the door of the Penny arms around each other's waist. Sam held the door allowing her in ahead of him.

Andy went to their table while Sam went to the bar to set up their tab for the night.

"Hey man, listen, Nash is gonna be joining us, put whatever she has on ours."

"You got it, man … you and Andy want a round before everybody gets here?"

Just then the door opened and 15s finest flooded the Penny. Sam smiled.

"Comin' up."

Sam got to the table just as Andy was shrugging out of her leather jacket, he took his off and draped it over the back of the chair before helping her finish getting out of hers. She wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you."

Sam kissed her cheek."Welcome."

Traci hugged first Sam then Andy in greeting as she joined them.

"You guys look amazing. Surprised you let her outta the house in that top, Sam." Traci laughed.

Sam and Andy looked at each other and laughed as they were surrounded by their friends.

Liam set the first round of drinks on the table.

As the final hours of 2012 ticked down, they talked, laughed and enjoyed the music with their friends as the drinks flowed freely. Even Traci, who had swore she was only staying for one, was beginning to relax and have fun.

Sam was surprised when Oliver clapped him on the shoulder and said, "How 'bout it, brother, can I borrow that girl of yours for a dance?"

Sam smiled as he said, "Ask her, not me," and let his arms fall to his sides so she could stand if she wished. Andy kissed him on the cheek as she got to her feet and allowed Oliver to lead her to the area they had set up for dancing. The song ended and Oliver was replaced first by Dov, then Chris, Frank and finally by Nick. The girls joined Andy on the floor for a few up-tempo tunes before she made her way back to the table, to Sam and a drink.

She had seen Sam on the floor with Traci a time or two and smiled, knowing Traci wouldn't dance with anyone else.

Andy wrapped her arms around Sam's waist as she walked up to the table. He kissed her cheek as she sat back down. He refilled her glass from the draught pitcher on the table before she leaned back against him and wrapped his arms around her.

Traci joined them at the table. "Ok you two, it's gettin' close to midnight, I'm gonna get outta here. I love you both but I just can't be here …"

Sam and Andy understood and didn't force the issue by trying to talk her into staying, they simply hugged her in turn and said good night.

The only one Andy _hadn't_ danced with tonight was Sam - and midnight was fast approaching. Checking her watch, Andy saw it was about five minutes before midnight when the room got quiet and the sounds of a piano, accompanied by a fiddle and guitar could be heard.

Andy slipped off her chair and took Sam by the hand, leading him to the dance area.

He wrapped his arms around her as Faith Hill's voice filled the room -

_If I could win your heart  
If you'd let me in your heart  
I'd be so happy, baby  
Just for these arms to be  
Holding you close to me  
There's nothing in this world I won't try  
No limit to what I'd do to make you mine, 'cause_

I'd climb right up to the sky  
I'd take down the stars  
Just to be in your arms, baby  
I'd go and capture the moon  
That's what I would do  
Just to hear you say that you love me  
Just to hear you say that you love me

If I could taste your kiss  
There'd be no sweeter gift  
Heaven could offer baby  
(Oh, baby)  
I want to be the one  
(I want to be the one)  
Living to give you love  
I'd walk across this world just to be  
Close to you 'cause I want you close to me, yeah

I'd climb right up to the sky  
I'd take down the stars  
Just to be in your arms, baby  
I'd go and capture the moon  
That's what I would do  
Just to hear you say that you love me  
Just to hear you say that you love me

For the rest of your life  
(For the rest of your life)  
Love me for the rest of all time  
(Oh baby, baby)  
Just say the word  
And I'll give you my world  
There's nothing I won't do  
Baby, just to be with you

I'd climb right up to the sky  
I'd take down the stars  
Just to be in your arms, baby  
I'd go and capture the moon  
That's what I would do  
Just to hear you say that you love me  
Just to hear you say that you love me  
Just to hear you say that you love me, baby  
Just to hear you say that you love me  
Oh, I need to hear you say that you love me, baby

_(Oh, I need you baby)  
I need_

_(Just say you love me, baby)_

_I need you, baby_

_(Oh, I need you to love me)  
Just say you love me  
Just say you need me_

Just to hear you say that you love me

As the final notes faded, Liam turned the T.V behind the bar on in time to catch the City TV countdown, everyone joined in - _10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 … Happy New Year!_

Sam kissed Andy, breaking apart to the sounds of everyone singing, _Auld Lang Syne_.

They both whispered, "I love you," just before being engulfed by their friends.

'Happy New Year' hugs were exchanged by all before they headed back and gathered around the table once more to share a few more drinks, stories and laughs.

Liam announced 'last call' and another round of drinks were brought to the table … including an extra shot.

"I wouldn't do this when Traci was here, but not that long ago we brought the new year in with the words _Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? … _I couldn't let the night, the year, go by without honoring Jerry …"

Frank cleared his throat and Sam paused, allowing him to speak.

"The circle of life isn't something we think about, but there's no other way to explain that day - one life began while another ended. It's strange because both were part of the 15 family and we don't have that very often. We _gained_ a beautiful little girl, but we lost a brother …"

When Frank finished, Sam raised his glass. "So if you would, raise a glass in memory of our fallen brother and friend, Det. Jerry Barber, one of 15s finest, gone too soon but _never_ to be forgotten," Sam looked at Oliver, who finished, "We love you, brother and we miss you."

All glasses were raised and after a chorus of "to Jerry," drinks were downed.

Sam signaled to Liam to call their cab as he got his jacket on. The guys went to pay their tabs while the girls finished their drinks. Sam returned to the table and helped Andy into her jacket.

As they passed the bar, Liam came round to wish them Happy New Year.

"You too, man, thanks."

"Tonight was great, Liam, thank you."

"Hey, I'm just glad I got to be part of your first New Year's as the new and improved McSwarek."

Sam and Andy looked at each other and smiled.

"I think it's safe to say you'll be part of them indefinitely, man."

Liam smiled as he hugged Andy before shaking Sam's hand as he said, "I'm good with that."

Outside, hugs were exchanged in the parking lot one final time before Sam opened the door for Andy.

When the cab pulled up to the house, Sam helped Andy out before he paid the driver, thanked him and wished him 'Happy New Year'.

With Sam's arms around her waist, Andy unlocked the door.

New Year's Day dawned with Sam and Andy waking like they did every other day - in each other's arms. They showered before heading downstairs.

After they got the coffee on, Andy took Sam by the hand and led him to the living room.

"What's goin' on, McNally?"

Andy laughed. "Isn't there a saying that however you spend New Year's Day is how you'll spend the next year? If that's true …"

Sam followed her line of vision and laughed as he reached for her instead of his guitar. "If that's true, there's something _else_ we need to do …"

Andy laughed as Sam pulled her into his lap. Wrapping her arms around him, she asked, "What's that?" Sam answered with a kiss.

Andy fixed their coffees and joined Sam in the living room. He set their cups on the table before pulling a laughing Andy down beside him before reaching for the guitar.

"Ok, where were we before you distracted me?"

"Yeah, yeah, blame me," Andy laughed.

Sam winked at her as he set the guitar on his knee and took the pick out of the neck. "Does it matter?"

"No."

Andy smiled the entire time Sam played.


	33. Chapter 33

The days followings New Year's when she returned to the streets saw a new routine for Sam and Andy.

Frank would dismiss Parade after partnering her with Nick with his usual 'order' for Nick not to bring Sam into the field after him, the room would clear out and Sam would unbutton Andy's sleeve and remove her bracelet, putting it in his pocket as Andy re-buttoned her sleeve. They would then go fix each other a coffee, handing it to the other with 'Be careful,' a kiss and 'See ya later." Some days they met for lunch.

Sam and Traci were together when the call for an officer down came over the radio. It wasn't until they heard, "_Somebody get Swarek to the hospital!_" that they paid attention.

They wasted _no_ time getting to the hospital.

Oliver met them at the Emergency Room door.

"Where is she?"

"Surgery."

A sea of blue greeted the surgeon when she walked through the waiting room doors.

"McNally family?"

That sea of blue came to attention. Frank stepped forward.

"Dr. Miller, how is she?"

"Staff Sergeant Best, I know you're concerned about your officer but I really should wait until her next of kin arrive." She checked the chart in her hand.

"Has anyone contacted Officer McNally's husband and father?"

"I'm sure her father will be here shortly."

"And her husband?"

Frank didn't quite know how to respond.

"Officer McNally has Det. Sam Swarek listed as her husband, is there any way he can be reached?"

Oliver was just leading Sam and Traci through the waiting room doors when they heard the doctor ask about Officer McNally's husband, Sam Swarek.

Sam stopped dead just inside the doors when he heard the doctor asking for Andy's family.

"Sam." Frank called, the doctor turned.

"Come on, buddy," Oliver said gently.

"Det. Swarek?"

"How is she?"

"Your wife is very lucky, Detective. Would you like to wait for your wife's father?"

"No."

"Ok, well, the bullet ricocheted off a couple ribs, breaking them."

"Ribs? How?"

"Buddy, she had her vest off," Oliver tried to explain.

"What?! _Why_ wasn't she wearing her vest?"

"I don't know, brother."

"Where was Collins?"

"Officer Collins took a bullet to the arm, Det.," Dr. Miller responded.

"He's alright?"

"Nothing a few stitches didn't fix."

"Thank God … Andy, you said she was lucky, how bad is it?"

"Her partner was smart, she didn't lose the blood she could have, the broken ribs didn't puncture the lung but they did badly bruise it, because of that we have her on a ventilator and she'll be heavily sedated for the next few days to give the lung as well as the ribs a chance to heal without too much pain."

"When can I see her?"

"We'll be moving her to I.C.U shortly, I'll come get you."

Sam sank into the nearest chair as Oliver and Frank thanked the doctor and asked her to update Tommy once he arrived.

Once they heard Andy's condition most of the division that was gathered cleared out, leaving just their friends with Sam - minus Nick.

Frank knelt in front of Sam. "Did we miss your wedding announcement, man?"

Sam smiled sadly. "No."

"Then what the hell did I, did we, miss that you're listed as her _husband_?!"

"Do you remember when Callaghan was shot? When the doctor was hesitant to talk to her because she wasn't listed as family?"

Frank nodded.

"I added _her_ to my contacts before the Brennan op, if things went sideways _I_ needed her to know. Little did I know she had added me as one of hers too!

After we got together, before things went down with Jerry, we made the decision to revise it from listing each other as 'partners' to 'spouses'. And I'll tell ya, Frank, I'm glad we did, because I couldn't hear some lab coat or scrubs tell me, _I'm sorry, but you're not family_."

"Ok, man, I get it. This is just the first I've heard of it."

"It's in our files."

"What? Since when?"

"We changed everything at the station after she moved in last fall. We knew we wouldn't have problems within the division so we never said anything, but if anything ever happened we wanted to be _sure_ nobody could say it wasn't on file that we were to be notified."

Frank smiled sadly. "Fair enough. Listen, do you want us to stick around, at least until her dad shows?"

"No, thanks boss, there's nothin' you guys can do for her here … _I_ need him found …"

"He's already booked and in a cell, Sam," Nick said as he walked in the room, his arm in a sling.

Sam stood up as Nick came in. "_What the hell happened_?!"

"Det. Swarek? If you'd like to see her, she's been moved into I.C.U …"

"Collins, have a seat, we ain't even started."

"Yes, sir," Nick said as he sat next to Traci.

Sam walked to the doctor. "Where is she?"

"This way …"

They were almost out of the waiting room when Traci's voice stopped him. "Sam?"

Sam walked back to where Traci sat and knelt in front of her. Taking her hands, he said, "You'll be one of the first to see her when she can have visitors, Traci, I promise.

"Tell her …"

"I will," and Sam stood up and walked out the door, following the doctor.

The doctor stopped at a door. "Your wife is in there, Det."

"Thank you," Sam whispered without opening the door.

Sam was still standing outside her room when Tommy and Oliver came down the hall.

"How is she?"

"I don't know."

"What d'ya mean, you don't know, brother?"

"This is as far as I got."

Tommy put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Come on, there's a girl in there that needs to know you're here."

Sam allowed Tommy to lead him into Andy's room.

Tommy walked over to the bed.

"Hey sweetheart, it's your old man, just wanted you to know I'm here. I love you."

Tommy kissed her on the forehead before walking to the door. He looked at Sam. "I'll leave you two alone. I'll be in the cafeteria."

"Thanks Tommy," Sam said as the door closed.

Sam looked at the woman in the bed attached to machines - heart monitor, ventilator. On leaded feet, he slowly made his way to the bed.

The right side rail was down so Sam sat on the edge of the bed by her hip and took her hand in his. "You got some _serious_ explaining to do when you open those beautiful eyes of yours.

Traci's out in the waiting room. We were together when the call came over the radio that I needed to get to the hospital. No, I didn't drive, she did. Just a heads up, she's probably gonna chew you out when she sees you. She said to tell you she loves you.

The entire _Division_ was in that waiting room when we got here. Most are gone now, just Traci, Ollie and Nick are still here with me 'n your dad.

Your buddy Collins and I are gonna have ourselves a little chat and he's gonna tell me _exactly_ how you ended up in this bed!"

The door opened and the doctor came in.

"Doctor's here. I'm gonna go have that chat with Collins, but I'll be back soon."

Sam kissed her hand before getting off the bed.

"I'll be in the waiting room."

Sam walked into the waiting room to find it empty - except for Nick, who was sitting where he'd left him.

Before Sam even asked Nick said, "Coffee run."

Sam pulled a chair in front of Nick's and sat down.

"You wanna tell me _what the fuck happened_?! And _why_ wasn't she wearing her God-damn vest?!"

"Shitty timing. We stopped at one of the Tim's on Yonge and Eglington.

On our way in, we already had our coats open, ready to take them off when somebody ran into her, spilling their coffee on her. She went into the washroom to take her blouse off and make sure the coffee hadn't burned.

She was coming out of the washroom, in the process of putting her vest on, blouse in hand.

Had _no_ idea a robbery was about to go down until the guy saw her and pulled out a 9mm and fired. Bastard was _just_ at the right angle to miss her vest.

My gun barely cleared holster before he found me and fired a second shot … they were the only two he fired before I clipped him and radioed it in.

She passed out before the medics got there. She'll probably kill me, but I used her blouse to stem the blood loss when I was applying pressure.

The _only_ thing I could think when I radioed in was that you needed to be here when they brought her in."

"Traci and I were together when your call came in. We were in the middle of something so we weren't really paying attention when the call came in … til we heard the panicked call that I needed to get to the hospital."

"Yeah, well, I _knew_ I'd be in shit with her indefinitely if you weren't here …"

Sam laughed.

"Besides, Frank reminds me _every_ shift I'll deal with _you_ should anything happen to _her_! Not gonna lie man, I was more than a little nervous of your reception walkin' in here earlier."

Sam smiled sadly. "Yeah, well, doctor more or less said _you_ saved her life, so right about now, I'm willing to nominate you her guardian angel. Gotta ask man, is there _anything_ you're _not_ telling me?"

"No, man. Once the bus arrived, they loaded her, checked me, said the wound needed to be cleaned and stitched but as long as I promise to get to the hospital after he was in a cell, they had no problem letting me see him processed. Medics basically slapped a band-aid on the shooter and told him to quit bitchin'. He shot two cops he was lucky _all_ I did was wound him."

When Sam looked at him questioningly Nick supplied, "I blew out his knee so he was taken to the barn by bus so the medics could fix him up on the way.

At the barn he was processed and charged with one count attempted robbery, one count attempted murder of a police officer.

Cell door wasn't even locked and I was on my way here. My wound is clean, took four stitches. I get to ride the desk for a few weeks, but I'm fine. How is she?"

"Broken ribs, bruised lung. She's heavily sedated and on a ventilator for a few days to let the lung heal."

"When can I see her?"

"If I was a doctor, I'd say not until she's moved from I.C.U, but I'm not a doctor and I know she needs to hear your voice and know you're ok, so if you wanna come with me, you can sneak in for a minute."

They walked out of the waiting room and down the hall to Andy's room.

Sam opened the door and walked over to the bed.

"Hey baby, I'm back. Your ridin' buddy filled me in on what happened and he has some news, but I'm gonna let _him_ tell you himself …"

Nick stepped next to the bed. "Hey partner, your guy here figured you might like to know the guy's in custody.

Don't worry about me, I'm fine, took a bullet to the arm, so I get to ride the desk for a while, but that's ok because my partner's not exactly in any condition to hit the streets right now.

Sam's here so I _know_ you're in good hands, the best you _could_ be in, so I'm gonna go, leave you guys alone but I'll be back in a few days when the doctor says you can have visitors and I'll keep in touch with Sam … Come back to us, sooner than later, ok? 15 needs its officer and we need _you_."

Nick squeezed her shoulder before kissing her cheek and straightening. Turning to Sam they shook hands before Nick walked out.

Frank placed Sam on indefinite leave and I.C.U #4 became their home away from home.

Oliver brought him breakfast and a change of clothes every morning on his way into the station.

It was a revolving door. No sooner would someone leave then someone else was there. _Everybody_ in the Division made a point to stop and check on her and Frank began Parade every day by giving an update on Andy's condition.

Sam had called Sarah after she'd been admitted to tell her and Sarah immediately wanted to drive in and be there for them but Sam told her there was nothing she could do until Andy was out of I.C.U, he also didn't want Sami to know yet so she needed to keep things status quo for the time being. Sarah reluctantly agreed, promising to be there the minute Sam made the call saying she'd been moved.

A week after the shooting happened, Andy was finally taken off the ventilator.

"We'll start easing back on the meds now that the ventilator's been removed. We'll keep her here until she comes to. When she gets moved depends on how she's doing."

"When can she have visitors?"

Dr. Miller smiled. "As long as the entire Division doesn't parade through the I.C.U, I think it would be ok for them to see her for themselves, just keep the visits short."

"Believe me, I will. Thank you."

A sound at the door caught Sam's attention.

"Sam?"

"It's ok, Tommy. Come on in."

"What's going on?"

"We've just removed your daughter's ventilator, Mr. McNally."

Tommy smiled. "How's she doing?"

"Her lung has healed enough to warrant the removal of the ventilator. Like I told your son-in-law, we'll start easing back the meds now and she'll wake up when she's ready."

"That's great news, Doc. Thank you."

Dr. Miller smiled. "I'll be back later."

"Thank you."

Sam turned to Tommy. "I'll give you some time alone."

"Sam, it's alright …"

"Tommy, it's ok, I got a couple calls I can make."

Sam kissed Andy's forehead and whispered, "Be back."

In the waiting room he called Traci, Oliver and Nick to tell them they could visit before calling Frank to give him the latest update.

"We can see her?"

"That's right, Frank. Doctor said anybody that wants to see for themselves she's alright _can_ see her but the visits need to be _short_."

"Absolutely. We'll be by later."

Sam smiled. "Ok."

Tommy was putting his coat on when Sam walked back in.

"Just told her I'd see her tomorrow."

Sam smiled. "We'll be here."

Tommy left as Sam walked over to the bed.

"Hey baby. Not sure if you heard the doctor or not, but she gave the go ahead for visitors. Traci, Oliver, Nick, Frank … they're all gonna stop in and see you.

Haven't called Sarah yet. Gonna hold off on _that_ as long as I can. Don't want to scare Sami, nor do I want her here yet and I know there's no way she'll stay away once she finds out you're in here."

A knock on the door caught Sam's attention. He turned to find Traci standing there. Sam smiled. "Come on in, Traci, she's been expecting you."

Traci smiled as she walked over to the bed.

"How's she doin'?"

"Doctor says the lung is healed so they took her off the ventilator just before I called. Doctor's been in every half hour or so and says she's holding her own. They're easing back on the meds so now we play the waiting game til she wakes up."

Traci looked at Andy as she said, "You always gotta have us waiting on you, don'tcha? Seriously Andy, don't make us wait _too_ long, ok? I know I'm not the only one that wants to see you so I'm gonna go but I'll be back ok, sweetie. Leo says get better soon."

Traci met Frank in the door.

"Hey boss, go ahead and talk to her."

"Hey man."

Walking to the bed, Frank said, "Hey McNally, Swarek warned me I had to keep this short, just wanted you to know the Division's thinking of you and praying for you."

Frank squeezed her hand before turning to Sam. "You'll keep me posted?"

"Absolutely."

The last to stop by was Oliver. Typical Oliver, he had take out in hand.

"You eat, I'll visit. How's our girl?"

Sam laughed. "Thanks."

"Own it brother, knowin' you, you haven't been takin' care of yourself since she's been in here."

Sam had to smile. "Haven't had to with you, Nash and Collins dropping by every meal."

"_Somebody_ has to. _Last_ thing I want when this girl wakes up is to be on her shit list because I wasn't takin' care of you for her."

Sam laughed as Oliver pulled a chair next to Andy's bed.

"Hey McNally. Good to finally see for myself you're still with us. You gave Sammy, not to mention the rest of us, one helluva scare.

Y'know, the scare you gave us at Supernova was bad enough. This … I'm not supposed to be sittin' at a rookie's bedside, Andy, especially yours.

I'm not supposed to watch my best friend keep a bedside vigil just a few months after we buried my other best friend. Yet that's _exactly_ what I'm doin' because he's barely moved … I think he only leaves when your dad comes in.

Speakin' of your dad, as a dad, I don't even want to _know_ what he's goin' through. The idea of one of _my_ girls bein' in that bed … Hell, you _are_ like one of my girls.

Sammy may claim you as his rookie, but you were my rookie first. Lookin' at you lyin' there I can't help but wonder if there wasn't something I shoulda said over the years …"

"Ollie, it's not your fault …" Sam said quietly.

"No, but I'll always feel responsible for our rookie, wonder if I taught her enough.

Ok, before my brother starts raggin' on me for gettin' sappy and sentimental, I'm gonna go, just know you're in my thoughts, my prayers and in my heart, Andy. The Division may need you as a copper but not nearly as much as we need our girl."

Getting up, there were tears in his eyes as Oliver leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before he said, "Come back to us soon."

Oliver hugged Sam before leaving.


	34. Chapter 34

The _last _person Sam expected to look up and find standing in the door was Callaghan.

"What're _you_ doin' here?"

"Frank said she was allowed visitors."

"Yeah, friends and family. You're neither."

"Come on, Sam."

"No."

"Sam, come on, we were engaged …"

"Yeah, until you couldn't keep it in your pants around your old flame …"

"And you're such a saint …"

"I _don't_ cheat."

"We both know she woulda taken me back if _you_ hadn't been in the picture."

"Guess it's a good thing I was then, isn't it? Because she damn well deserves better than _you_.

Deny it all you want, but I was there, remember? I watched as you picked a new rookie every year. I watched as you put your career ahead of everything else … _including_ the woman in that bed.

_Every_ time she needed you, you were too busy with a case to bother.

So your sudden concern for _my_ girlfriend? Thanks, but we'll pass."

"You always did think you were better …"

"Doesn't take much. Now, I've told you once you're _not_ getting in to see her ..."

"Sam …"

"Callaghan, it's _not_ fuckin' happenin', so do us both a favor and get out before I have to call Frank and have you brought up on harassment."

"You wouldn't …"

"Try me …"

Glaring at Sam, Luke turned and left without even asking how she was doing.

The doctor's didn't understand it. Andy McNally _should_ have woke up once the sedatives were out of her system, but that had been days ago and she had yet to regain consciousness.

Tommy pulled a chair next to his daughter's bed.

"Hey sweetie, it's your old man.

I didn't want to do this because you must need your sleep but there's only so much your old man can take.

Doctor says you should've woke up once the ventilator was removed, well sweetie, that was days ago and you _still_ haven't woke up yet.

What's goin' on? What's takin' you so long to come back to us?

It's not just me waitin' to see you, you got friends that miss you. And your guy here …

Y'know I worry about you enough as it. I _didn't_ worry as much when you were ridin' with Sam 'cause I knew he'd protect my girl …

If anybody's to blame for you bein' in that bed, it's me. If you hadn't wanted to follow in your old man's footsteps …"

"Tommy, she coulda got hurt even if she _wasn't_ a cop …"

"You hear that? He won't even let me blame myself. Have I told you lately ya done good? You got yourself a guy that loves you almost as much as I do and I'll tell ya, kiddo, I didn't think _that_ was possible.

You're always tellin' me you can take care of yourself, thanks to Sam, you don't _have_ to and I know I can trust him to love and take care of my little girl."

"Always, Tommy."

Tommy got up. "Ok, sweetie, time for your old man to get outta here. Give you and Sam some time alone, I imagine you haven't got much of that since the doctor gave the ok for short visits by your fellow coppers."

Sam smiled. "Spend as much time with her as you like, Tommy, it's alright."

"Thanks Sam, I appreciate that, but it's ok. You take care of our girl for me … and let me know if you need anything?"

"I will, thanks."

Sam was sitting next to her on the bed, talking to her.

"Well, baby, I think just about everybody's been in to see you. I say just about because I still haven't given Sarah the ok. I call her every day to keep her up to speed but I don't want our niece seein' you like this. They'll come up _after_ you wake up."

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," Nick said from the door.

"No, man, come on in."

"How's she doin'?"

"No change."

Nick walked over to the bed.

"What's goin' on?"

"What'd ya mean?"

"I mean you've been here, you've brought food, but you don't try to see her? She's your riding partner."

"Figured I'd be one of the _last_ people you'd wanna see. I check in, I just try not to bother you."

"Bother me?"

"You think I don't know it's my fault she's in here …"

"You think I _blame_ you?!"

"Don't you?"

"I blame the son of a bitch who put the _bullet_ in her.

I told you before, I'm grateful you were there. If you hadn't been she may not be here right now. And I'll tell ya, brother, if I _ever_ lost her it would kill me.

Before her, I never woulda believed it possible for a person to feel like this … You didn't know me before her …"

"No, but I've heard stories."

Sam laughed.

"I'll bet you have.

I've never been as protective of a rookie as I was of her. Probably was harder on her than any other too ...

If you ask Oliver or any of the others that were there from the beginning, they'll tell you it had nothin' t'do with wanting to make her the best cop I could and everything t'do with how I felt about her and to an extent, that's probably true."

"Sam, she's one helluva cop …"

"I can't take the credit for that …"

"Yeah, Sam, you can. You helped make her _into_that cop.

Just like your love for each other has made you into the people you are today.

And I'll tell ya, I may not've known you before but the people I _do_ know are pretty incredible.

You guys are my friends, my family. You need _anything_, I'm there."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, man. I know I speak for her when I say we appreciate it and that it goes both ways."

"Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?"

"No, thanks. Right now, the _only_ thing I need is for her to open her eyes."

"Have they given any explanations why she's still out?"

"Nope. They said she shoulda come to when the sedatives wore off …"

Nick took her hand.

"Andy, it's me, Nick. I know you've probably heard this from everybody, but dammit, I'm gettin' tired of the same answer when I check in on you.

Come on, Andy, wake up so the next time I visit I can visit with _both_ of you, ok?"

Nick looked at Sam.

"Alright, I'm gonna go, but if you need _anything_ …"

Sam stood up and walked with Nick to the door. Shaking his hand, he said, "I'll call, I promise. Thanks."

Sam was sitting by her hip holding her hand as a song sung by both a man and woman floated through the hospital and he thought _What was it she asked that night at the cover apartment? Did I think the universe had a plan for us? If I didn't then, the way these random songs happen when I can't put my feelings into words would certainly lead a person to think …_

_There's so much breakin' up  
Folks who won't fall in love  
Put up shells, guard themselves, build walls_

_And it makes me cry sometimes  
'Cause people live lonely lives  
They don't want to try  
They don't want to live at all_

"You hear that, McNally?"

_But I'm not gonna be afraid  
To give up my heart that way  
'Cause I need you, I need you, by my side  
And I'm not gonna say I'm strong  
Out here in this world alone  
'Cause I need you, I need you, by my side_

_And when you find someone_  
_Someone you really love_  
_It makes life easier to bear_

_But some folks live on their own  
Shut themselves in at home  
They never find out  
What love's all about  
'Cause they're scared_

_But I'm not gonna be afraid_  
_To give up my heart that way_  
_'Cause I need you, I need you, by my side_  
_And I'm not gonna say I'm strong_  
_Out here in this world alone_  
_'Cause I need you, I need you, by my side_

"You hear that?"

_'Cause I need you, I need you, by my side_

"It's true, I do. Somethin' else I need is for you to open those beautiful brown eyes of yours …"

The hand in his that hadn't moved in over a week, moved, grabbing Sam's attention. Then he heard, a very faint, "Sam?"

Sam's smile was filled with relief as he looked up. Brushing her hair back from her face, he said, "Well, look who _finally_ decided to come back to me …"

Sam pushed the 'call' button.

Andy looked around. "Where …"

Before Sam could answer, the door opened and Dr. Miller came in. "Everything ok?" Looking at Andy she finished, "Well, look who came back to the land of the living. Welcome back, Officer McNally."

"Sam?" There was fear and confusion in Andy's voice.

Sam squeezed her hand. "It's ok, baby."

"Andy, I'm Dr. Miller … How ya feelin'?"

"A little out of it."

Dr. Miller checked her out and gave the order to move Andy upstairs, she would be held overnight for further observation. Barring any problems, she would be released tomorrow.

Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed holding her hand, when he asked, "What's the last thing you remember?"

Andy thought for a minute. "Uh, Nick and I were at a Tim's … I went to the bathroom … it's a blank after that … Why? What happened, babe?"

Sam debated how much to tell her. "Baby, you were shot comin' out of the bathroom."

"How long was I out?"

Sam sighed. "Almost 2 weeks."

"What? Why?"

You _really_wanna do this? You just woke up not that long ago."

"Yeah, in a hospital bed. I'd like to know why."

Andy made the mistake of trying to take a deep breath and gasped in pain.

"Andy, relax, you're only gonna make the pain worse."

"_Now_ ya tell me!"

Sam couldn't help the smile.

"_Why_ does it hurt to breathe?"

"Because you've got a couple busted ribs. The bullet ricocheted off your ribs, breaking a couple of them, they bruised your lung so they kept you sedated for a week to let the lung heal."

"But you said almost 2 …"

"Yeah, well, you didn't exactly wake up when they removed the ventilator …"

"Ventilator?"

"They put you on a ventilator to take the pressure off your lungs."

"When do I get to go home?"

"Tomorrow. Listen baby, I need to let everybody know you're awake and gonna be home on the couch tomorrow."

"Ok."

Sam stepped out and quickly called Traci who offered to let Oliver and the rookies know leaving Sam to just update Frank and Tommy.

The next day Sam signed Andy's release papers and helped her get dressed.

Andy wasn't thrilled with being wheeled out but even if it _wasn't_ hospital policy, Sam didn't give her another choice - she either let them wheel her out or he wouldn't sign her release.

Pulling up to the hospital door, Sam wouldn't take any chances of Andy putting strain on her ribs and lifted her out of the chair and into the truck.

Sam killed the engine in front of the house and undid both of their belts.

"Stay put."

"Sam …"

"Forget it, McNally. You just got out, I'm _not_ takin' any chances."

"Fine!"

Sam laughed as he got out and went to unlock and open the door before going back to the truck. Opening the door, he lifted Andy into his arms. Sam clearing his throat stopped her from trying to close the door. Sam did so with his shoulder.

"I'd take you upstairs, so you could rest properly but half the Division is probably gonna flood our house checkin' up on you, so at least for now, you're on the couch."

"Before _that_ happens I need a shower …"

"Andy …"

"Sam, please, I smell like a hospital …"

Sam smiled. "You said it."

"You didn't deny it."

Sam laughed. "Sorry, after almost 2 weeks I guess I don't even notice."

"Well _I_ do and I _don't_ like it!"

"Ok, ok."

Sam carried her upstairs and after undressing them both, turned the shower on. He washed Andy as quickly and gently as he could.

Sam had just carried her back downstairs when there was a knock at the door. Sam looked at the woman in his arms and laughed as he said, "_What_ did I tell you?"

Andy smiled as Sam deposited her on the couch before going to open the door.

Andy could hear Sam laugh then "Just because she's home _doesn't_ mean you guys can wear her out …"

Andy thought she heard Chris say, "We'll keep it short, Sam, we just need to see for ourselves."

"Alright. Come on in, she's in the living room."

The rookies - Dov, Chris, Gail, Nick and Traci - all flooded their living room, with Traci and Nick giving her as gentle a hug as they could.

Sam brought a glass of water and handed Andy a couple of pills. "Take."

Andy rolled her eyes but took the glass and pills from Sam.

"Nash, Collins, I need to make a call, make sure she _doesn't_ move …"

"Sam …"

"McNally …"

"Fine … Who are you calling?"

"Sarah."

"Ok. Tell her I said hi."

Sam kissed her forehead before leaving Andy to visit with her friends while he called his sister.

"Hey Sammy! Everything ok?"

"Hey Sis, everything's fine. Callin' to let ya know she's home."

"We'll be there tomorrow!"

Sam laughed. "Ok. See ya then."

Sam was just hanging up when there was a knock at the door. Shaking his head , he went to answer the door.

Sam opened the door to find Frank and Noelle.

"Come on in, Boss. Williams, how ya doin'? How's that little girl?"

Noelle smiled. "We're good. How're _you_?"

Sam sighed. "Glad to be home."

"I bet. How is she?"

"Ask her yourself, she's on the couch."

Frank and Noelle went into the living room.

Traci and Nick looked at Dov, Chris and Gail before looking at each other.

"Looks like it's time for us to go, sweetie."

Sam smiled. "Thanks Traci."

The rookies hugged her gently under Sam's watchful eye before leaving.

"Hey McNally, how ya doin'?"

"Hey Andy."

"Hi Sir, doin' ok. Hi Noelle. How's the baby?"

Noelle smiled. "She's good."

Frank and Noelle didn't stay long, needing to pick up the baby. They met Oliver in the door.

"Hey brother, she up for one more?"

Sam sighed. ""Come on in, brother."

"Everything ok, man?"

"Yeah, it's just been you, Frank and Noelle and the rookies, but I'm afraid it's too much too soon, y'know?"

"Relax brother, I just wanna see for myself she's home safe."

Sam smiled. "She's on the couch."

Oliver walked into the living room.

"There's our girl. How ya doin', Andy?"

Andy smiled. "Hi Oliver."

Oliver leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Lookin' better than the last time we talked … I know you don't remember it. Good to see you at home where you belong."

"It's good to _be_ home … Would you _please_ tell Sam …"

"Nope, sorry, whatever it is, I back Sammy."

Andy rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

Sam laughed.

"I'd offer you a beer brother but since she's on meds …"

"Nope. Gotta head home, just wanted to see for myself … I'll check in tomorrow. You guys need anything?"

"No, we're good. Thanks … for everything."

"You got it, brother, anytime. You," he looked at Andy, "listen to Sammy and I'll see you tomorrow."

Andy shook her head, yawning before she smiled. "Thanks for coming by Oliver … both here and at the hospital."

Oliver just smiled.

"I'll let myself out, Sammy, take care of our girl. I'll make sure nobody else …"

"Thanks brother."

As Oliver let himself out, Sam put their phones within reach before grabbing the blanket and covering Andy. He was about to go sit in one of the chairs when Andy grabbed his hand.

"What is it, baby?"

"Stay, please?"

Sam pointed to a chair. "I'll be right here."

Andy tugged on his hand. "No."

"No? What'd you want, baby?"

Andy tried to sit up.

"Don't do that."

"Sam, please, I _need_ to feel your arms around me …"

Sam put the blanket over the back of the couch and lifted her in his arms.

"Sam?"

"The couch'll hurt too much," and he carried her upstairs.

In their bedroom he laid her in bed and crawled in beside her.

As much as she wanted to put her arms around Sam, she couldn't without causing pain so she settled for her head on his chest and his arms around her.

"Thank you … I'm sorry … I love you," she whispered.

"For what? I love you."

"Thank you for _everything_ and I'm sorry for the last couple of weeks. I know they couldn't have been easy, babe. You didn't _have_ to be there."

"Yeah, baby, I did, because _you_ were there and I _wasn't_ leaving you. Now, close those beautiful eyes of yours and get some rest."

Sam felt her tense up.

"Baby, I'm not goin' anywhere, I'll be right here when you wake up."

Andy turned her head so she could place a kiss on Sam's chest, he kissed the top of her head and for the first time since she'd been rushed to the hospital, he fell asleep without the fear of losing her gripping his heart.

Andy woke up and let out a cry of pain, instantly waking Sam.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I … think … the … meds … wore … off," Andy gasped.

Sam carefully propped her up so he could get out of bed.

"Where …"

Sam didn't even let her finish. "I'm just goin' to get your meds, I'll be right back."

Sam took the stairs 2 at a time in his hurry to get downstairs then back up with her meds.

Sam propped her up so she could take her pain killers. Andy's relief was immediate. Sam eased her back down.

"Hungry?"

"A little."

"Pizza? Chinese? Chalet?"

"Whatever you don't have to leave me to order."

Sam smiled. "We can order whenever you want."

"In _that_ case, later. Right now, I need your arms around me more than I need food."

Sam laughed as he wrapped his arms around her. "Go back to sleep."

The pizza never got ordered. They only woke long enough for Andy to take her pills and they fell back asleep.

Sam woke with the alarm the next morning and quickly shut it off before it could wake Andy.

He tried to get up without disturbing Andy but she woke up when he moved.

"Babe?"

Sam kissed her head. "Just gettin' some more water so you can take another couple pills."

Andy smiled. "Ok."

She was asleep by the time he got back to bed.


	35. Chapter 35

As much as he hated to bother her, he knew she'd be pissed if she didn't get a shower before anybody showed up and since he didn't know _when_ Sarah was showing up …

Sam leaned over and kissed her. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty, time to open those beautiful eyes of yours."

"Does that mean I get to call you Prince Charming?" she asked groggily.

Sam laughed. "No. Come on, your niece'll be here sometime today …"

"Oh God, Sam, please …"

"Sarah's wanted to come since the shooting happened, baby, I couldn't tell her no …"

"But Sami …"

"Will be given strict orders, _no_ squeezing when she gives you a hug."

Sam lifted her up and carried her to the bathroom.

Downstairs Sam set Andy on one of the island stools before putting coffee on. While they waited for the coffee Sam carried Andy into the living room. He propped her up with a couple extra pillows he could throw on a chair when he sat down after he got their coffees.

Their first 'visitor' was Oliver.

"Hey brother, on my way in, figured you haven't had a chance to shop yet, so …" and he handed Sam the 'to go' bag he'd brought with him.

Sam laughed as he took what would be their breakfast. "Thanks."

Oliver left and Sam sent out a mass text to all their contacts that if they were stopping by to knock then just let themselves in.

They were sitting on the couch with Andy curled against Sam when the door opened and Sami followed by Sarah, came in.

Sami was about to rush over to them - boots, coat, mittens all still on - when Sam's voice stopped her. "_Don't_ even _think_ about it, Princess!"

Sami quickly discarded her mittens, boots and coat while Sarah had paper towels wiping up the melted snow Sami had tracked in.

Sami ran to the couch. "Hi Uncle Sammy! Hi Aunt Andy!"

Sam stopped Sami before she had a chance to throw herself at Andy.

"But Uncle Sammy!"

"Sorry Princess, gotta be gentle with Aunt Andy."

"Why?"

"Aunt Andy was hurt a couple weeks ago. She's still gettin' better which means you need to be _extra_ careful."

Sami looked at Andy. "Can I hug her?"

"_Very_ gently, Princess."

Sam propped Andy up so that Sami could crawl into his lap.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him before looking at Andy.

Andy smiled as Sam gently helped her put an arm around Sami.

Andy couldn't hold back the cry of pain.

"Aunt Andy?"

"It's ok, Princess," Sam said as he lifted Sami off Andy's lap.

"Hey Sis," Sam called, "can you bring a glass of water?"

Sarah brought the water and Sam popped the lid and handed Andy a couple pain pills, easing her back against him once she'd taken them.

"Better?"

Andy smiled at Sam. "Thank you."

"Sis, why don't you set her up with a DVD."

Sarah smiled. "Thanks."

"Hey Sis, think you could keep her company while I run to the store?"

"Sure Sammy."

Sam got up and put the extra pillows behind Andy. Kissing her cheek he straightened and said, "Get some sleep if you can. I'll be back soon. I love you."

Andy smiled. "I love you."

Sam grabbed his phone and headed for the door.

Sarah set Sami in front of the T.V with a movie before she sat on the coffee table.

"How are you?"

"I'm sure your brother's filled you in …"

"I didn't ask what happened, I asked how you are."

"Before the pain killers wear off I'm great … unless I move - not that your brother lets me …"

Sarah laughed.

"Listen Andy … to say I owe you an apology is an understatement and God knows if my brother thought we'd get into it there's _no_ way he'd have left us with only a 5 year old for a referee.

Remember when we first met?

I had to apologize for being a bitch … well, this time I'm apologizing for being a jealous bitch.

You have _no_ idea how sorry I am for what happened before Christmas. Like I said when I tried to apologize before, the only way I can explain my abominable behavior is I got jealous.

Yeah, I spent that week with you guys when you were on leave but you weren't … and Sammy's _never_ brought anyone home before …

Then when Sami called you 'Aunt' … it felt like the walls were crumbling around me and the family that was so important to me suddenly wasn't _mine_ anymore and I didn't know how to deal with that."

"But he's your _brother_ and she's your _daughter_ …"

"I know. My darling brother has reminded me of that more than once.

And the rational part of me knows it, but that little girl who just had her little brother to depend on sometimes forgets that 'strangers' _aren't_ always a threat and that he'll always be around … no matter what!

I _know_ he loves you … _everybody_ who knows him knows that. You don't even _have_ to know him, to see it … You're a part of him like nobody else has _ever_ been and as great as that is, it's also a little unnerving to know I'm not his #1 anymore."

"How much do you know about me?" Andy asked.

"Not much, why?"

"Because my mom took off when I was 12 leaving just me and my dad.

So trust isn't somethin' I do easily …"

"You trust my brother …"

"Yeah, I do. He's the 1 person in my life - not including my dad - that I trust completely.

Even after he dumped me in the rain, if somebody had asked if I trusted him, the answer woulda been yes, because he's _always_ been there when I needed him, when it mattered."

Sarah smiled.

"That's the kinda guy he is.

And he deserves to be happy more than anyone I know … and thanks to you, he is.

My brother has made a point of letting me know my actions don't back it up when I say I love you and that you're a part of our family and for that I _am_ sorry.

I understand if you can't trust me but I hope you'll forgive me … like I told Sammy, you're the closest I'll ever get to a sister."

Before Andy could respond the door opened and Sam walked in.

Sam looked from Sarah to Andy and back again.

"What's goin' on?"

"Nothin' you need to worry about."

"Newsflash Sis, if it involves her, I do."

Sarah laughed as she stood up. Walking to her brother, looked at Andy before looking back at Sam as she said, "Knowing you, that's the longest you've left her in a couple of weeks, so why don't you let me put these away?"

Sam kissed his sister's cheek as he shed his jacket and kicked off his shoes.

The moment Sarah's back was turned and Sam wasn't paying attention Andy had company on the couch. "Hi."

"Hi sweetie."

Andy's voice caught Sam's attention. Turning, he saw Sami at Andy's feet.

"Samantha …"

"I won't hurt her Uncle Sammy. Promise!"

Sam shook his head as he walked over to the couch. Sam lifted Sami up and pulled back the blanket covering Andy before setting her back down and covering her. "Better?"

Sami smiled.

Sam propped Andy against him as he took the pillows from behind her and sat down, wrapping his arms around her.

"How ya feelin'?"

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, ok … Try again."

Andy tried to laugh and gasped at the pain it caused.

"Aunt Andy?"

"It's ok, Princess."

Sam propped Andy up as he got out from behind her and stood up. Sam threw the blanket over Sami's head making her giggle as he lifted Andy into his arms.

"Hey Sis, I'm gonna take Andy upstairs for a while. It's too soon for her meds but maybe a warm shower will help ease the pain."

"Ok," Sarah said coming back into the living room.

Sam carried Andy upstairs. After locking their bedroom door, Sam undressed them both before carrying Andy into the bathroom. They stood in the shower until Andy could barely keep her eyes open. Turning the shower off, Sam dried them both off and carried Andy back into the bedroom. After he dressed them both and laid her in bed, he went to unlock the door before crawling in bed and wrapping his arms around Andy. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "Go to sleep."

When the pain woke them a couple hours later, Sam found a glass of water on the nightstand along with Andy's pain killers.

Sam was just carrying Andy downstairs when the door opened and Nick came in. "Hey man."

"Hey man. Not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, just bringin' her down from a nap. Come on in."

Nick smiled. "How ya doin' partner?"

Sam growled and Andy smiled. "Hey, I'm gettin' there. How are you?"

Both Sam and Nick knew she wasn't asking for the sake of asking.

"Andy, I'm fine. Took a bullet in arm. It was nothin' a couple stitches didn't fix. Spent a couple days with the arm in a sling, but I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

Sam put Andy on the couch and Nick covered her with the blanket careful not to disturb a sleeping Sami.

"There somethin' you guys need to tell me?" Nick asked.

Sam laughed while Andy smiled. "Sorry to disappoint you, but she's my sister's."

Nick laughed as Sarah came in. "What is your sister's?"

"Sami."

"Ah, yes. She still out?"

"Yeah. Sis, I'd like you to meet Andy's riding partner, Officer Nick Collins. Nick, my sister Sarah."

"Nice to meet you, Nick."

"You too. Listen, I just came by to check in, I'm gonna go, but I'll talk to you …"

Nick leaned over & hugged Andy before shaking hands with Sam.

"Alright, brother, we'll talk tomorrow."

When Nick was gone, Sam sat behind Andy and Sarah sat in a chair and the three chatted until Sami began to stir. Afraid she might kick Andy, Sarah picked her up and sat her in her lap.

"You stayin' over or headin' back tonight, Sarah?"

"We've got a bag in the car, just in case I can't get her outta here."

"Sam …"

Sam kissed her cheek as he got up, "I'm goin' …"

Sarah looked at them, confused.

"You're stayin', Sis."

"Then what do you 2 want for supper?"

"Take out is good by us …"

"Then it's my treat."

Sam went and grabbed Sarah and Sami's bags out of Sarah's car and carried them upstairs.

Once Sami was awake she crawled back onto the couch by Andy's feet and covered herself with the blanket.

Sarah grabbed her phone and snapped the picture as Sam was coming back downstairs.

"Ok, little brother, get in there."

"What?"

"Sammy, I _don't_ have a picture of the 2 of you with Sami, so get in there so I can get a picture."

Sam went to the other end of the couch and picked Sami up bringing her with him when he sat behind Andy.

Andy slowly and carefully lifted herself up so that the picture looked like she was curled into Sam's side. Once Sarah had the picture Sam put Sami down and eased Andy into a more comfortable position.

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Andy …"

"Babe, I'm ok," Andy _tried_ to hide the pain but Sam knew her too well.

"Nice try, McNally. Sis, you mind gettin' a glass of water?"

Sarah got up and got Sam the glass of water. Handing it to him, she asked, "Pizza? Chinese?"

"Whatever she'll eat," Sam motioned to Sami, "is fine by us."

"Let her have her way you're havin' Chalet …"

Sam laughed. "That's fine."

"Ok, I'm gonna go place the order. Sami, you comin' with Mommy to order supper?"

Sami would've bounced off the couch but made sure not to hurt Andy, "Let's gooooooooo!"

Sam and Sarah laughed. Looking down, Sam saw Andy had fallen asleep.

Sami walked over to Andy and kissed her cheek.

"Mommy, we can't eat supper before Aunt Andy wakes up!"

Sam smiled at his niece. "No worries, Princess, she won't be asleep _that_ long."

"Promise?"

Just then Sam felt Andy move. "See, Princess?"

Sam laughed as Sami said, "Ok, Mommy, we can do it now!" and she grabbed her mother's hand leading her out of the room.

Sam kissed the top of Andy's head. "Hey baby."

Andy yawned. "Hey."

"Sarah's gone to order supper … Sami's 'helping'."

"_Don't_ make me laugh, babe."

"Sorry."

There was a knock on the door before Tommy walked in.

"Hey Tommy, come on in."

"Thanks Sam, how's our girl?" Tommy asked as he removed his coat and shoes.

"Hi Dad, I'm ok."

"Yeah?"

Andy smiled. "Yeah."

"Sam?"

"Dad!" Andy put a little more force into her response than her ribs were willing to take and she gasped as the pain hit. She squeezed Sam's hand until the pain passed.

"Aunt Andy?"

Tommy looked from his daughter to the young girl walking into the room.

"Yeah, Princess?"

"Mommy says supper'll be here in half hour, Uncle Sammy."

"Tell Mommy thank you, sweetie."

"Where'd she come from?"

If she could have laughed she would have as Andy said, "The kitchen."

"Smart ass, kid."

"Sorry, Dad. Come here, Sweetie."

Sami walked over to the couch.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet Sam's niece, Sami."

"It's nice to meet you, Sami."

"Who're you?"

"Samantha!" Sarah admonished from the doorway.

"Sorry, Mommy!"

Sam chuckled. "Princess, this is Aunt Andy's daddy, Tommy ."

Sami smiled shyly as she said, "Hi."

"Tommy, I'd like you to meet my sister - and Sami's mommy - Sarah."

"Sis, I'd like you to meet Andy's dad, Tommy McNally."

"Mr. McNally, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Sarah."

Just then there was a knock on the door, when nobody automatically came in, Sarah went to answer it, with wallet in hand.

Sarah closed the door as Tommy said, "Well, I just came to check in, I'll see you tomorrow."

Sarah nodded at Sam.

"You're more than welcome to stay Tommy, there's more than enough."

"Thanks, Sam, but there's somewhere I need to be." Tommy had an AA meeting.

"I'd get up and hug you, Dad, but Sam won't let me."

"He's a good man, takin' care of my little girl. I'll let myself out." Tommy leaned over and kissed Andy's cheek before leaving as Sarah took Sami to get cleaned up.

"Ok baby, let's get you propped up so you can eat."

"And how'm I gonna do that?"

"I'll feed you if I have to."

"Sam, no."

"Everything ok?"

"We're fine. We'll eat in here so she's not holding herself up."

"You _know_ Sami's gonna want to eat in here too so she can be with you …"

"It's fine."

"Ok, I'll go get everything."

"Thanks."

While Sarah was bringing the delivery bags in from the kitchen, Sam propped Andy up with pillows.

He _didn't_ feed her, but he did hold the plate close so didn't have to move as much. The whole thing frustrated Andy beyond her limit and by the time they were done and Sarah was doing dishes, Andy asked Sam to take her upstairs.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Andy …"

"Sam, I _hate_ this! I can't even feed myself without help."

"Baby, you _just_ got outta the hospital. Cut yourself some slack."

"How come Oliver was able to go back to work after a week …"

"Before he cracked his ribs, he didn't take a bullet off a couple …"

"You shouldn't have to babysit me …"

"Sorry, but I _don't_ consider spending time with my girlfriend _babysitting_ … "

"I'm sorry …"

"Don't be."

"I love you."

"I love you. Still want me to take you upstairs?"

"Please?"

"Ok, just let me go tell Sarah and Sami. Your niece will never forgive me if I take you to bed without saying goodnight."

Sam went into the kitchen and came back carrying Sami.

"_Somebody_ had to give you a hug and kiss goodnight." Sam set Sami in Andy's lap.

"Night Aunt Andy!"

Sami kissed Andy's cheek and gave her a gentle hug before allowing Sam to set her on the floor.

"See you in the morning, you two, Andy, get some rest."

"Thanks Sarah, see you in the morning."

"Night, Sis."

Sam carried Andy upstairs and got her ready for bed before going back down for a glass of water and her pills.

She was in the same spot he'd left her when he re-entered their bedroom.

Sam quickly got undressed and changed for bed and helped Andy in before crawling in beside her.

As soon as Sam's arms were around her, Andy was asleep.

Sam had hoped to get Andy downstairs before Sarah and Sami woke up but as he walked into the kitchen after laying Andy on the couch he found them coloring at the island.

Sarah looked up. "Mornin' Sammy."

"Mornin' Sis."

Sam walked over and kissed the top of Sami's head. "Mornin' Princess."

"Mornin' Uncle Sammy! Where's Aunt Andy?"

"She's on the couch, Princess."

Sami jumped off the stool with Sam's help and ran into the living room.

"Mornin' Aunt Andy!"

Andy smiled. "Mornin' sweetie."

Sam came in carrying 2 coffees. He handed them to Andy as he sat behind her. She handed him his as he put an arm around her before Sami crawled in his lap.

Sarah came in. "Hey you 2, want some breakfast?"

Andy smiled as she drank her coffee. "That would be great, Sarah. Thank you."

Sarah smiled as she headed back into the kitchen.

"Did Aunt Andy show you her Christmas present, Princess?"

"Noooo!"

Sam laughed and Andy held up her left wrist.

"Pretty."

"Thanks sweetie, I think so too."

"Sami, time to get washed up for breakfast," Sarah called from the kitchen.

"I'll help her, Sis," Sam said as he set Sami down and stood up. He picked Sami up and carried her to the bathroom.

When Sam carried Sami back into the living room, Sarah had breakfast dished up and waiting on the coffee table. Sam set Sami down and picked up his and Andy's plates. Sami watched her aunt and uncle and as Sam had to help Andy eat, Sami stopped eating, stood up and walked to over to the couch, standing in front of Andy.

"What's up, Princess?"

"Can I help?"

Sam and Sarah smiled at each other. Sarah shrugged.

"You wanna hold Aunt Andy's plate so she can eat?"

"Yeah."

Sam let Sami crawl up between him and Andy and gave her Andy's plate. It was a little easier for Andy to let Sami help than Sam.

Sarah was surprised at how patient Sami was while Andy ate. Sam, on the other hand, was _very_ proud of her for helping.

After breakfast Sarah cleaned up and while Sami was distracted with Andy, put their bags in the car. She came back inside and joined them in the living room. They sat and visited for a few hours before Sarah tried to get Sami to leave. The problem, Sami didn't _want_ to leave.

"Samantha …"

"But Mommy …"

Sam picked her up. "It's ok, Princess. Aunt Andy and I will visit as soon as she feels better."

Sami looked at Andy who nodded. "We already had plans to visit you before I got hurt, sweetie. The visit just got pushed back a little."

"Promise?"

Both Sam and Andy echoed the promise.

Sami reluctantly agreed to go … if Sam carried her out.

Andy didn't say anything, but Sam knew after last night that she _needed_ to be standing at the door when Sarah and Sami left. Lifting her up, he carried her to the door. Andy whispered, "Thank you," as she leaned against the door. Sam simply kissed her cheek.

Sami tugged on Sam's hand. She had her coat and boots on, ready to go. Sam picked her up.

"You ready to go, Princess?"

"Can I hug Aunt Andy?"

There were tears in Andy's eyes as she said, Yeah, sweetie, you can."

"Princess, remember, you gotta be gentle …"

Sami put her arms around Andy and Sam put Andy's arms around her making sure to keep Sami's weight off Andy.

Andy kissed her cheek. "I'll see you soon, ok?"

"I love you, Aunt Andy."

"I love you, too, sweetie."

Andy dropped her arms and Sam carried her out to the car.

Sarah stopped at the door. "Get better soon, Andy. We're lookin' forward to that visit." Sarah gently hugged Andy and whispered, "I love you."

Andy's only response was a whispered, "I love you, too."

There were tears in Sarah's eyes as she left, because with those 4 words, she knew Andy had forgiven her and that they'd be ok.


	36. Chapter 36

The Penny was having a Valentine's Day party. Sam _still _wasn't sure how but Shaw had talked him into taking Andy. He remembered agreeing somewhere around the time Oliver used the argument that it was an excuse to show Andy off. He was a little worried about her ribs because she was still healing but knew she _needed_ to go.

Sam knew if she was able to get dressed on her own she woulda pulled the stunt as she did at Christmas, making him wait downstairs - except she _couldn't_ get dressed on her own.

"Maybe Traci can come help me get ready."

"Why?"

Andy raised her eyebrows.

"You _do_ know you can't do the same reveal, right?"

"I know, but it would _still_ be a surprise …"

Sam just shook his head as he handed her the phone.

Andy thanked him with a kiss.

"Don't start somethin' you can't finish, McNally."

"Just because I can't finish it _now_ doesn't mean I _won't_ ..."

With Andy still on medical leave and Sam not leaving her side, shopping for her gift was a challenge. All Sam could say was thank God for online shopping. He had found the perfect gift but wanted to use _Made You Look_ because that was where he'd gotten her Christmas present. They didn't take orders online, so one day while Andy was napping he called to see if they could work their magic again.

When he got the call that it said it was ready he sent Nick a text -

_Andy's Valentine's Day present is Made You Look. Needs picked up. Bring to Penny night of party._

For Sam's gift, Andy enlisted Traci and Oliver's help. She was getting Sam a new flat top guitar from Steve's Music Shop downtown. Andy told Traci the one she wanted, Oliver was going to pick it up and 'deliver' it while they were on their way to the Penny for the party.

The day of the party they stayed fairly quiet with Sam wanting Andy to rest as much as she could before they went out.

They showered and as Sam was getting dressed - black dress pants and a red dress shirt - Andy called Traci.

When Traci arrived Sam was unceremoniously kicked out of his own bedroom. 30 minutes after the door was closed on him, it opened again and Traci called his name.

The sight that walked out of their bedroom caused Sam's breath to catch. She had on a sleeveless red V neck blouse with red lace overlay that fit her like it was made for her and her alone, with skin tight black pants and knee high boots that reminded Sam of the ones she wore as Edie. Her hair was down and loosely curled.

"WOW!"

Traci laughed. "Does that mean she meets with your approval, Swarek?"

"She _always_ meets with my approval, Nash."

Andy blushed as Sam walked up to her.

"Ready to go?"

"If you are."

Sam carried her down the stairs and helped her into her leather jacket.

They were just about to leave when Traci got a text. She didn't say anything just nodded to Andy. Andy had a hard time keeping the smile off her face knowing how surprised Sam would be when they got home and he saw his gift.

Pulling into the Penny lot, Sam and Andy laughed as he pulled into the space usually reserved for the emergency exit but tonight had been transformed into _Reserved: McSwarek Parking Only_. Sam put the truck in park and undid their belts. Getting out of the truck he walked around and opened Andy's door and lifted her out.

"If you want, I can carry you _to_ the door …"

Andy smiled. "Let's just take it slow, ok?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

With Sam's arm around her for support, Andy slowly made her way to the door. Nick met them. "Help her to the table, while I go set up our tab?"

"You got it," and Nick allowed Andy to take his arm.

They had just reached the table and Nick was helping her out of her jacket when Sam came over. Taking his own jacket off, his draped it over the back of the stool next to Andy's. Sam put his hands on her waist and gently lifted her up.

While Sam was helping Andy sit down, Nick took something out of his own jacket and placed it in Sam's.

Liam brought a round of drinks just as Oliver and Zoe came in.

They were alone at the table when Sam pulled a small gift out of his leather jacket and put it on the table in front of Andy.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

Andy unwrapped it to find a familiar box. Opening it, she expected to find another charm for her bracelet. The white gold double heart bypass ring with diamond accents had her looking at Sam in surprise.

"No, it's not _that_ ring, though we both know it's comin'. This one, this one is just so you have something you _don't_ have to take off when you leave the barn on patrol and to remind you that you have my heart."

Sam took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger just before their friends came back to the table.

Sam heard what sounded like a slow enough song Andy could dance to begin to play. Sam stood up and smiling, offered Andy his hand. Smiling her own smile, Andy let him help her down before they made their way onto the nearby floor. The song it turned out, was a duet.

_I never thought I'd find the love_

_I'd searched for all my life_

_Someone to share and comfort_

_I envisioned in my mind_

_And when I wasn't looking_

_You appeared before my eyes_

_Just you and me forever_

_And today I'll make you mine_

_Someone so strong and special_

_That brightens every day_

_A shoulder to cry on_

_A friend in every way_

_Passionately waiting_

_To start my life anew_

_These vows we speak before us_

_I give all my love to you_

_A loving smile each morning_

_Arms to hold me tight_

_Lips to kiss the pain away_

_When things don't go just right_

_Our love will see us to the end_

_When God says we will part_

_But until then you'll be the one_

_Each day I'll share my heart_

_Someone so strong and special_

_That brightens every day_

_A shoulder to cry on_

_A friend in every way_

_Passionately waiting_

_To start my life anew_

_These vows we speak before us_

_I give all my love to you_

_These vows we speak before us_

_I give all my love to you_

When the song came to an end, Sam whispered, "I love you."

There were tears in Andy's eyes as she whispered, "Remember this song, Swarek, we're using it later. I love you."

There were tears in the eyes of their friends when they returned to the table. The guys cleared their throats.

Liam brought another round of drinks. At Sam's questioning look, Liam assured him Andy's was another ginger ale.

Sam knew they'd pushed their luck when Andy gasped as a pain hit. They didn't bring any of her meds with them and one look at her told Sam it was time to go. Sam was about to tell Andy he was going to pay their tab when Oliver said, "Get her home, we'll take care of it." Sam smiled his gratitude and grabbed his jacket off the chair. Sam shrugged into his jacket but didn't even try and get Andy into hers, he just picked her up. Traci grabbed Andy's jacket and her purse and was ready to follow Sam out to the truck. Liam watched from the bar and had the door open when Sam got there. "Thanks man." Rather than try and fish _his_ keys out of his pocket he looked at Traci and said, "She has a set of keys in her purse, mine are in my pocket." It took her seconds to get the keys and unlock and open the door.

At the house, Sam didn't even bother with his shoes, he just carried her straight to the couch. It wasn't until her pain meds kicked in that he realized he was still in his coat and had his shoes on. He kicked them off at the door and hung up their jackets before going to take her boots off. She was curled up under the blanket, he was just about to sit down behind her when something caught his attention.

His guitar was out of the case. Not like it spent much time _in_ the case anymore, but he hadn't played in a couple of days. Knowing it would make Andy smile, Sam got up to get it. As he reached for it, Sam couldn't believe his eyes. It wasn't _his_ guitar, but a Martin D-28, one of _the_ sweetest sounding flat tops ever made. It was also worth a pretty penny which was why owning one, though on his 'bucket list' hadn't happened yet. He looked back at Andy who just smiled.

"You didn't …"

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Baby, these things cost a fortune."

"Babe, you're _more_ than worth it. I just hope it's the right one …"

Sam carried the guitar back to the couch. He kissed Andy before sitting on the arm and sitting the guitar on his knee, he pulled the pick out of the neck strings and drew it across the strings. He couldn't believe he was holding one, never mind about to play one that he _owned_.

Andy smiled the entire time he played. When he set it against the coffee table and sat behind her she said, "Happy Valentine's Day, Sam. I love you."

Sam kissed the top of her head and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, Andy. I love you."

He carried her upstairs a short time later.

Sam woke up the next morning and after convincing her to go _back_ to sleep, carried a sleeping Andy downstairs. She _loved_ to hear him play and he wanted her to wake up to that sound this morning. He hadn't surprised her like this since the first time he'd played for her. He put coffee on then went back into the living room.

Sitting on the coffee table, Sam picked up the guitar. He smiled when Andy began to wake up.


	37. Chapter 37

2 months after the shooting Andy had only been out for the Valentine's Day party at the Penny and was beginning to get cabin fever.

"Sam, _when_ do I get to go back to work?"

"Even _if_ you were cleared to return you'd only be cleared to ride the desk."

Andy scowled. "Just because _I_ can't is no reason _you_ should be stuck here at home."

"Baby, I'm with you, I'm not 'stuck' anywhere."

Andy didn't think it was fair. Yeah, ok, she was still taking the pain killers but Sam wasn't carrying her everywhere anymore.

"Y'know I could sit in your office as easily as I can sit here on the couch."

"Gettin' sick of me, McNally?"

"Of you? Never. Of lookin' at the same 4 walls, all day every day? _Yes_!"

"I'll talk to Frank on _1_ condition …"

"Anything."

"You're _not_ ready to return, not even to the desk, I hear you ask Frank and I'm back on leave …"

"You wouldn't …"

"Do you _really_ wanna find out?"

"Fine."

"Listen baby, you can probably get cleared for the desk while still on the meds, but you don't even _think_ about full duty until you're off the pain killers, you're coming into the station to sit in my office. You don't even get me a coffee."

She was more than willing to agree … until he mentioned the coffee.

"Really, babe? I think I can get us coffee …"

"Nope. You stay in my office or we stay home."

"Fine."

"There's something I wanna talk to you about …"

The change in Sam's tone made Andy nervous. "Sam? What's wrong?"

"Nothin's wrong baby, I just wanna talk about when you get the ok to go back to full duty and return to the streets."

"What about it?"

"How would you feel if Nick wasn't the 1 you rode with?"

"Who _would_ I ride with?"

"Me. I'm gonna clear it with Frank to go back to the streets for your first few weeks back."

"As much as I would _love_ to hear Frank say I'm being partnered with you again, I hope it's not because you don't trust Nick, babe."

"Baby, it's not about trusting Nick, you could've been riding with Shaw and I'd _still_ put myself back in uniform once you're cleared for full duty."

"So it's _me_ you don't trust …"

"Andy, it has nothing to do with trust. You're a great cop, what happened could have happened to anyone, but it happened to _you_, and after spending every second of your recovery time together, _I_ need to be the one that goes on patrol with you … I told you once, I didn't want anything to happen to you …"

Andy smiled. "I remember."

"I didn't want anything to happen to you then and I was "just" your T.O., now …"

"Sam …"

"Andy, I can't take your bracelet and say goodbye like nothin' happened, because it did. It may seem crazy, but baby, I _need_ to be the one out there with you, at least when you first come back …"

Andy took Sam's hand and placed it over her heart. "I'm still here. I'm always _going_ to be here. You're not gonna get rid of me that easily, babe …"

Sam smiled as he gently pulled her into his arms. "I love you."

"I love you."

Sam reached for the phone and called Frank.

"Frank, I know she hasn't been cleared, and don't ask why but she's talked me into goin' back."

"Can she stay alone?"

"No, she's gonna come in with me and keep me company."

"Ok. When do you wanna start?"

"Monday?"

"Good enough. See ya then, Sam," and they hung up.

"Happy?"

"Very!"

Sam laughed.

"How would you like to meet everybody at the Penny after shift?"

"Really?"

"Really. We'll get somethin' to eat and have a visit with everybody."

They surprised everybody when they walked in. Andy went to the table, Sam went to the bar, set up their tab and ordered a ginger ale for Andy and a beer for himself. He also ordered their meals.

He walked up to the table just as everyone finished giving her a hug. He took his jacket off before helping her out of hers. Andy put her hands on his shoulders and he knew she couldn't sit down without help. Sam put his hands around her waist and easily lifted her up. She grimaced a little.

"Ok?"

"Yeah, just a twinge."

"I brought them, just in case …"

"So far, so good …"

Sam sat to Andy's left. They were holding hands as soon as he sat down. They were a little confused by the stares, it wasn't like nobody had ever seen them hold hands before.

At first Sam thought it was the bracelet, but everyone knew she had it, then he realized they could see her hand, which meant the ring and they hadn't seen anybody since …

Traci was the one to ask, "Uh, is that what I _think_ it is?"

"A ring? Yes, Det. Nash, it is."

"Funny, Swarek. You know what I meant."

"No, it's not _that_ ring."

"_When_ did you give her a ring, Sam?"

Andy smiled and said, "Valentine's Day," as Sam kissed her hand.

"Seriously? When? I didn't see it when I helped you get ready."

"That's because she wasn't wearing it til we left here that night."

"You gave it to her _here_?! And _none_ of us noticed?! Yeah, great bunch of cops we are!"

Sam and Andy both laughed.

Liam brought their food and another round. They laughed and visited, it felt like a typical night … until Sam pulled out Andy's pain killers reminding their friends that it _wasn't_ a typical night because Andy wasn't on the job.

Monday morning Sam pulled into the lot of the station. At the door, Sam stopped and looked at Andy. "You sure about this?"

"Babe, stop worryin'."

Sam wrapped his arms around her. "How many time I gotta tell ya, woman, ain't gonna happen!"

Andy laughed gently. "Come on, Swarek, you gotta get to Parade."

Sam held the door for her. "Don't you mean we?"

"Sam you know I can't sit in on Parade …"

Frank heard Andy's comment and shouted, "McNally! Joining us for Parade?"

"Frank? Didn't think I could sit in on Parade …"

"We can make an exception … Besides, we need Sam in Parade."

Sam laughed. "Thanks Boss."

Sam put Andy in his usual spot then went to stand behind her, she leaned back against him and he put his arms around her.

Frank came in and the first thing he said was, "We welcome back 1 of our own this morning. Sam, it's good to have you back. I know I speak for everybody when I say McNally, we look forward to the day we get to welcome you back as well …"

Frank went on with assignments and dismissed everybody with "Serve and Protect … especially your partner."

Everyone filed out making a point to welcome Sam back and say 'hi' to Andy. They were engulfed by their friends.

"Hey brother, didn't know you were back," Oliver said.

"Blame her," Sam said smiling at Andy.

"Drinks after shift?"

"Drinks are on us," Nick said motioning to their friends.

"Sam laughed. "We'll be there."

Their friends headed out. Sam was surprised when Frank brought some files in and dropped them on the desk beside Andy.

"Boss?"

"Figured you might appreciate no stairs."

His and her voices blended as they both said, "Thanks Frank."

"Just trying to make things as easy as I can. Andy, if you need anything, you let me know, got it?"

Andy smiled. "I'll be fine."

Sam worked out of the Parade Room until Andy was cleared for desk duty. He wasn't sure he'd _ever_ seen anybody so excited to ride the desk as Andy was her first day back.

Frank walked into Parade that morning a happy man. His Division was whole once more. Andy was at the back with Sam. For the first time since Sam came back to work, _he_ was sitting on the desk and Andy was standing between his legs with his arms around her waist again. Frank looked at Andy as he began Parade.

"Good morning Coppers of 15. It's a day we've _all_ been waiting for, but none of us as impatiently as Officer McNally. After weeks of being in Parade as a bystander, she's _finally_ back in uniform. That's right, I'm happy to finally welcome back our wounded officer. I know your fellow uniforms are happy to have you back and they'll be even happier when they hear, per doctor's orders, you're riding a desk for the foreseeable future …"

A cheer erupted and Andy laughed before saying, "Thanks, I missed you too."

Frank handed out assignments and dismissed everyone with, "Serve. Protect. Be Careful."

Just as they did when Sam returned, everyone made a point of stopping to welcome Andy back to duty.

They had agreed when she was cleared for desk duty that Sam would stay in the Ds rotation until she was cleared for the streets.

Their friends engulfed them as they did when Sam returned.

"It's good to have you back in uniform, Andy, even if it _is_ just to ride the desk. Although knowing Sammy, he's happy he gets to keep an eye on you."

Sam and Andy shared a smile.

"Lettin' us buy you drinks after shift?" Nick asked.

"If she's up to it."

Once the room cleared Sam turned Andy around to face him and rolled up her sleeve. Even if she was just riding the desk, she was still in uniform, which meant Sam took her bracelet. They left Parade together, heading for their favorite spot … coffee.

They each made a cup, fixed it the way the other liked and handed it off just like always, before Sam walked her to the desk.

"I'll see ya in a little bit. You know where I am if you need me."

"How many times I gotta tell ya Swarek, I'll always need you."

Sam laughed as he kissed her cheek and headed for his office.

Oliver surprised them both by swinging by the barn with lunch for them. Sam led Andy into the Parade Room. Sam still wasn't willing to let Andy take the stairs in fear of aggravating her ribs.

It was hard for Andy to find riding the desk boring when Sam was checking on her non-stop. She couldn't help but laugh when he set another cup of coffee down.

"_How_ are you gettin' _any_ work done when you've spent most of your day checkin' up on me?"

Sam didn't respond, just kissed her cheek and walked away.

Frank made sure she got up and moved around, not wanting her to stiffen up.

The end of shift Sam took one look at her and knew Andy was exhausted and in pain. He offered his hand and she allowed him to help her up. With Sam's arm around her waist for support, Andy made her way back to the locker room. At the door, Sam turned her to face him.

"Drinks are your call, but baby, you look like you need your meds and the couch more than you need a ginger ale from the Penny."

Her head against his chest was all the confirmation Sam needed. He heard Traci's voice and called her.

"Hey Sam, what's up?"

She looked at Andy and knew. "I'll help."

"Thanks."

"Shower?"

"No, we'll shower when we get home. Just get her changed."

"You got it. Don't worry about drinks, I'll let them know you're not comin'."

"Appreciate that, saves me calling Shaw."

Traci helped Andy inside. Sitting her down Traci undressed her and helped her into her jeans and one of Sam's T-shirts. When they stepped out of the locker room, Traci was carrying Andy's bag.

"Want me to carry this out? Since you're probably gonna carry her out …"

When Sam would've agreed, Andy piped up, "Not until we get to the door …"

"Dammit woman …"

"Babe, please?"

"You're walkin' as far as the door, McNally, I'm carryin' you to the truck, no arguments."

That she _didn't_ argue was proof how exhausted she was.

She was asleep before they left the lot.

At home, he stopped long enough to shed their jackets and shoes before carrying her upstairs.

"Do you want pills or shower first?"

"Shower. Pills. Bed."

Sam laughed. "Shower. Pills. Food _then_ bed, baby. You gotta eat."

"Then order a pizza so it's here when we get out."

Sam laughed again. "Baby, it takes more than 20 minutes to get you showered."

"So tell them we don't need it for 45 …"

Sam could hear the pain creeping into her voice and pulled out his phone and ordered the pizza … with the instructions to have it delivered when Andy asked. Hanging up, Sam stripped down and went to the bathroom and turned the water on before going to undress Andy. Taking his T-shirt off her he was grateful Traci had removed her bra.

"Ok baby, let's get you showered," and he carried her into the bathroom. He set an alarm so they wouldn't miss the delivery.

Half hour later he turned the water off and after wrapping a towel around himself lifted Andy out and carried her back into the bedroom. He quickly dried himself off and threw on a pair of loungers and a T-shirt before drying Andy and dressing her the same.

He was just carrying her downstairs when the doorbell rang. He put her on the couch and went to grab his wallet.

Sam carried the pizza into the living room and set it on the coffee table before going to get plates and napkins/paper towels from the kitchen. He set them beside the pizza box.

Grabbing the brush she'd brought with them, he said, "Pizza can wait, this needs done first," and he began to brush out her hair before it dried.

After her first day Sam had her pills with him so she could take them if necessary. It turned out, she needed them by mid-morning and mid-afternoon.

Sam thought it was just a 'welcome back' thing but then their lunch was delivered by one of their friends _every_ day of Andy's first week back and it turned into routine for their lunch to be delivered while she was on the desk.

Because they hadn't taken their friends up on the drinks after her first shift back, it was agreed that Sam and Andy's next night at the Penny was on their friends. Sam took her straight home every night that first week … every night but Friday. When Friday rolled around Andy practically begged Sam to go to the Penny after shift.

Taking her jacket off, Sam asked, "Why are we here?"

"Because you've worried about me all week and need to relax," she answered with a kiss.

"I _always_ worry about you, woman."

Andy smiled as Liam set down two plates.

"What's this?"

"Your usual."

"We can see that, man, but we didn't order anything," Sam responded.

"Taken care of."

Just then the door opened and their friends came in and they knew Liam was putting their friends on the hook for feeding them as well.


	38. Chapter 38

The May long week-end was approaching, which meant the _RUSH_ concert Andy had given him tickets for at Christmas.

"Hey brother, you ready for Sunday night?"

"If you had asked me that a month ago, I woulda given you the tickets because she couldn't go, but now … yeah, I am. I think even _she's_ excited but if I'm honest, I think it has more to do with life gettin' back to normal than it does the band." Sam laughed.

"What about the band?" Andy asked walking up to them.

Sam wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Just askin' Sammy if he was ready for the show, McNally."

"He better be," Andy laughed.

Sam looked at Andy. "What're you up to?"

Andy just smiled.

Sam looked at Oliver. "Brother, you know what my girl's up to?"

"Sorry brother."

Truth was, Andy had reservations for 4 at one of the casual restaurants on Lake Shore before the show.

Sam _knew_ she was up to something Sunday when she wouldn't look at him. Walking up behind her, Sam wrapped his arms around Andy. "What're you up to?"

"You keep askin' me that, Det."

"I wouldn't have to if you'd answer me …"

Andy laughed and tried to move towards the stairs … only problem, Sam didn't follow _or_ let go. "Babe, we need to get showered and dressed …"

"_Not_ until you tell me what's goin' on."

"Babe, _how_ am I supposed to surprise you if I _tell_ you?"

"_No_ surprises, McNally. This ain't Christmas."

Andy turned around in Sam's arms and put hers around him.

"No deal, Swarek. Now let's go." Andy began to pull Sam toward the stairs.

"And how do you think we're gettin' wherever we're goin' if you don't tell me?"

"Easy, I'm drivin'."

"Where?"

Andy rolled her eyes. "To Lake Shore."

"Considerin' the _show_ is on Lake Shore that's not much of an answer, woman!"

"But it's the _only_ one you're gonna get, now, if we _don't_ hurry up you're gonna be hittin' the shower alone …"

"Wanna bet?" and Sam picked her up.

Andy laughed in surprise as Sam carried her upstairs.

After they showered Sam sat on the bed and brushed Andy's hair before they got dressed.

"Dress code?"

Andy grabbed a pair of jeans from the closet and threw them at Sam.

"What are _you_ wearin', woman?"

Andy grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet.

"Uh, baby, you need a top to go with those jeans …"

"I _have_ one …" and she pulled a red sleeveless halter top out of the closet.

"Baby, there's no back to that …"

Andy laughed as she pulled the top over her head. "Would you rather I wore somethin' different?" she asked with her back towards him.

"Not a chance! I'll just have to do my best to keep you warm …" Sam said as he came up behind her and reached into the closet for a shirt.

Sam helped Andy into her jacket and they left the house. Sam opened the passenger door, "In." Andy got in and fired off a text to Oliver telling him Sam was driving and she needed help to get him to the restaurant. Sam got behind the wheel and his phone rang. Checking the I.D, he smiled at Andy, "Oliver."

"Hey brother, what's goin' on?"

"Where are you?"

"Just pullin' out of the driveway, why?"

"Because wherever you _were_ goin', I need you to forget it and meet me …"

Sam sighed. "Where?"

Oliver gave him an address and he hung up. "Sorry, baby, Ollie wants us to meet him somewhere."

Andy looked out the window so Sam wouldn't see her smile as she said, "Make it quick."

Sam tried to tug on her hand and get her to look at him but she wouldn't and all Sam could think was their night had been shot to hell.

Sam pulled into the parking lot of the address Oliver had given him - a restaurant.

"What the hell?"

Sam put the truck in park and opening the door, got out and said, "Let me go see what's goin' on." Andy still wouldn't look at him. Sam pulled her door open 5 minutes later and lifted her out.

"You'll pay for this, woman."

Andy smiled as she reached up to kiss his cheek. Arm in arm they walked to the door.

Inside, they greeted the Shaw's with hugs and smiles.

After Sam helped Andy out of her jacket and they were sitting down, with Andy across from Oliver and Sam to her right, Oliver looked at Sam and asked, "Hey brother, you alright?"

Sam put his arm around Andy and said, "Yeah, just the entire ride over here, I thought someone," he looked at Andy, "was pissed at me."

Oliver laughed. "Sorry brother."

Andy had her hand on the table. Oliver picked it up, looking at the ring on her finger. "_Please_ tell me _this _isn't the ring that got Nash all excited .."

Sam and Andy looked at each other and smiled before looking at Oliver and shrugging, "That's it."

"Don't get me wrong, brother, it's a beautiful ring but considerin' how you feel about this girl, I _know_ it's not what you're gonna give her when you ask her …"

Sam winked at Andy before he said, "Who said I'm gonna ask her?"

Oliver just smiled as he said, "Brother, I know _you_ and I know you love _her_. You'll ask."

Sam couldn't help but laugh at how sure Oliver was as he kissed Andy's temple while running his hand up and down her back.

Andy smiled at Oliver. "You sound awful sure of yourself, Oliver."

"I know my brother, so yeah, I'm sure … just like I'm sure of what your answer's gonna be."

Sam was grateful their meals arrived.

After supper Sam paid their bill, they said 'goodbye' to Oliver and Zoe and headed to the Amphitheater.

Andy got tickets for the lawn and had arranged for a "reserved" section to be set up and Sam just shook his head when he saw Oliver. "_What are you doin' here_?" Oliver just looked at him like _Dumb question, brother._

Kissing Andy's temple he whispered, "thank you." Andy just smiled.

As great as it was to see one of his favorite bands, he was even happier because he was there with _her_. It may have been an outdoor venue but Sam and Andy sat on the blanket the same as they sat on the couch at home - with her back to him and his arms around her. Every once in awhile Oliver would look over and smile.

"Mad at me?" Oliver asked when the girls excused themselves to use the bathroom.

Sam looked at him, not really understanding.

"Back at the restaurant …"

Sam looked at Andy before smiling at his oldest and best friend, his brother, and not just in uniform. "Come on, man, we _both_ know it's gonna happen, we're just not rushin' anything. We haven't even been together a year yet. Hell, _just_ over a year ago she thought she was ready to marry Callaghan …"

"Sammy, brother, tell me you don't …"

"What? Doubt her? No way, brother."

Oliver sighed in relief.

"But where were we a year ago? We weren't allowed to have _contact_ with each other never mind see each other without risking our badges."

"I thought you were passed that?"

"We are. But everybody forgets that that _wasn't_ that long ago. _A lot_ has happened in that year … "

_There's an understatement_ Oliver thought.

"She's happy. I'm happy. We've got a lifetime."

"That's what Jerry and Traci thought too …"

"The difference? Jerry knowingly put his ass in danger by going in alone. I won't make the same mistake."

Oliver smiled sadly at the memory of what happened to their friend, knowing it was a tragedy that could have and _should_ have been avoided.

"Like I told her, she's stuck with me for _at least_ the next 40 years."

"What's happenin' in 40 years?" Andy asked as she sat down beside Sam, putting her arms around his waist.

Sam pulled her close as Oliver smiled and said, "Your anniversary."

Sam winked at Andy as she grinned and said, "Which anniversary is _that_, Oliver?" as Sam pulled her into his lap.

Oliver didn't miss a beat. "Your wedding."

Andy almost fell off Sam's lap trying to look at Oliver.

Sam laughed. "Careful, baby."

Oliver laughed. "Relax, Andy. My brother told me you were gonna put up with him for at least 40 years, so I figure we'll be celebratin' your wedding."

"Uh, Oliver, we have to actually get _married_ before you can celebrate _that_ anniversary and since we _haven't_ yet …"

"_Yet_ bein' the key word, Andy."

"Alright brother, we're already together, leave my girl alone or I'll write you up."

"For what?" Oliver asked with a grin.

Sam winked at Andy before looking at Oliver. "For impersonating Cupid after Valentine's Day."

All 4 of them burst out laughing. They went back to enjoying the music.

When the show was over they said goodnight to the Shaw's and headed home. Sam didn't say anything on the ride home.

Sam opened her door and lifted her out without saying a word. Inside he helped her with her jacket and she kicked off her shoes and headed for the kitchen.

Andy was beginning to wonder if Sam hadn't enjoyed the show when he walked up behind her and took her in his arms.

Andy leaned back against him. "You ok?"

Sam laughed to himself. 'Ok' didn't even _begin_ to describe how he felt and that was part of the problem - he didn't know _how_ to say what he was feeling.

Sam kissed her temple.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I know I haven't shut you out like that since before we got back together, but 'ok' doesn't even _begin_ to describe how I feel right now, I just don't know _how_ …" Sam trailed off not knowing what else to say. Turning her in his arms, he looked into her eyes and said the one thing he _knew_ - "I love you. I know I don't tell you often enough but you are everything good in my life, Andy McNally, I'd be lost without you."

There were tears in Andy's eyes when she leaned up and kissed him. "I love you."


	39. Chapter 39

8 weeks of riding the desk and Andy was _finally_ cleared to return to full duty … a full 6 months after the shooting happened.

Monday morning Sam left her at the locker room door with a kiss. "See you in 5?"

Andy smiled. "Absolutely."

They walked out of their respective locker rooms at the same time . Hand-in-hand they walked into Parade. They had made a point to be early so they could be the first one in and not draw any attention. They took their usual spot. With Andy standing in front of him no one with except those at the back noticed what he was wearing until the end of assignments, when all eyes turned to the back.

"Coppers of 15!" Frank said as he walked in, "We welcome Officer McNally back to full duty today so 1 of you gets to take her place on the desk," there were grumbles from Andy's fellow uniforms as Frank went on to hand out assignments, his last being Andy.

"McNally, you're with Swarek."

That Frank _didn't_ say "the Ds" drew some whispers so Frank clarified. "McNally, you're with Swarek … on patrol."

That really drew whispers but Frank ignored them and dismissed everybody with, "Serve. Protect … and that includes your partner."

Everybody cleared out … everybody but Nick.

"What the hell's goin' on, Sam? Why are _you_ back in uniform?"

"You heard Frank, I'm goin' out and t'do that, I need to be in uniform …"

"But _why_?"

Sam wasn't gonna do this in front of Andy. "Give us a minute, baby?"

"Coffee, Nick?"

"Yeah, thanks."

As soon as Andy left to fix Nick a coffee Sam shut the door.

"What the hell's goin' on, Sam? I thought you said you didn't blame me, man …"

"I don't. Like I told her, it coulda been Shaw she was riding with that day. It has _nothin'_ to do with you - or her - and _everything_ to do with _me_ and my need to be the one she goes out with. Relax man, you'll get your riding partner back in a couple weeks, my bein' back in uniform is only temporary."

Nick smiled. "Yeah, until she doesn't want to ride with anybody but you …"

"Brother, you're too late to worry about _that_. We've already _had_ that chat."

Nick laughed. "Before you took the exam?"

"Yeah. It's not easy on either of us not to be out there together, but if we had to choose between ridin' together and goin' home together, there's no choice to make."

Nick smiled and reached for the door.

"Well, I guess we better get out there … See you at the Penny?" Nick asked as he took the coffee Andy handed him. "Thanks."

"Welcome."

Nick gave a small wave, said, "See ya out there," and left.

Sam turned Andy to face him and undid her sleeve.

"Sam, what're we gonna do? I can't leave my bracelet with you when we're gonna be out there together …"

"I _do_ still have pockets, McNally," Sam said as he undid the clasp on her bracelet and put it in the inside pocket of his jacket and zipped it.

"But …" Andy did her sleeve back up.

"But nothin', baby, let's go," Sam said as he fixed their coffees and handing them to her, put his hand on her back and turned her toward the door.

Their first couple of shifts were uneventful and they met their friends after shift.

Wednesday they answered a call for a B and E before getting called to answer a domestic disturbance. Little did they know going in the guy was high and holding his ex at gun point. The second he saw Andy he fired off a shot that went wide and missed. The same couldn't be said for the shots he fired when he saw Sam. Both shots hit Sam squarely in the vest just as Oliver and Epstein arrived on scene.

Epstein disarmed the guy and made the call for an officer down before calling to have the girlfriend picked up and taken to the hospital. Oliver ripped Sam's vest open allowing Sam to take a breath. Nothing Oliver or Dov said was getting through to Andy until Sam reached for her hand. Andy looked at Sam as he spoke.

"Baby … you … gotta … calm … down."

"Sam …" The tears were flowing unashamed down Andy's cheeks.

"Andy …"

Just then the medics arrived.

"What'd a we got here? Swarek? What the hell? It wasn't enough your wife spent time in the hospital, now you wanna be a guest too?"

"Not … if … I … can … help … it."

"McNally, you gonna let go so we can check him out? Don't _think_ it's anything serious but we'll give him a thorough going over and you can likely take him home."

Andy wasn't exactly paying attention to the medic … until Sam tried to move.

"Babe, don't."

"Your bracelet's in my jacket."

Oliver overheard and leaning down, asked, "Pocket?"

"Inside."

Oliver retrieved the bracelet and put it in Andy's hand.

"We're gonna need his vest."

The medics removed his jacket and his vest, handing them to Oliver who passed them to Epstein.

When he hissed in pain Andy bit her lip to keep from crying out.

The medics finished their exam. "You're one lucky son of a bitch, Swarek …"

At Sam's glare the medic cut off what he'd been saying and opted for, "Nothing _feels_ broken but we'll give you a ride courtesy of the city and get you an X-ray to be sure, but it's most likely just bruised and you're gonna be sore for a few days. McNally, you comin' along for the ride?"

Andy still wasn't really paying attention. Sam tried to reach for her hand. She knelt next to him and laced her fingers through his, bringing his hand to her lips, she kissed it. Sam tried to smile.

"Comin' with me?"

Andy tried to return his smile but it wobbled. She didn't trust herself to speak so she nodded and squeezed his hand.

At the hospital, Sam refused the X-ray if Andy couldn't be with him, she tried to get him to agree by saying she'd be right outside the door, waiting for him but he refused, he wouldn't worry her more than she already was. Finally the X-ray tech said Andy could stand with her and Sam could see her through the glass.

"You would pick _now_ to be stubborn, wouldn't you?!"

"Me? Stubborn?"

As he'd hoped, Andy laughed. "Yeah. You."

Sam held both her hands in his. "You ok?"

"You're here getting X-rays, and you're worried about _me_?!"

"I keep tellin' ya, I _always_ worry about you … especially when some addict with a loaded weapon decides to pull the trigger …"

"I'm fine … or I will be when they tell me you're ok."

"Baby, I'm fine. Like they said, I'll be sore and bruised but I'm fine."

"Sorry, babe, I need to hear _that_ from your doctor."

Sam shook his head. "Let's get this over with so we can go home."

Sam was sitting on an exam table with Andy in his arms when the doctor came in.

"Dr. Miller, would you tell my wife I'm fine?"

Dr. Miller laughed. "Your husband is right, he's fine. His chest is bruised and he'll be sore for a few days and not have his full range of motion until the bruising is healed, but you can take him home."

"Hold up, Doc, did you say I don't have full …"

"That's right Det., even though you're in good physical condition your pectorals _still_ took a beating when your vest took those bullets. You may think you're ok right now but tonight and tomorrow will be a _very_ different story. Tomorrow you may not be able to move the arm without a great deal of pain. No driving detective at least for a week. I've spoken to Staff Sergeant Best and he told me to assure you that your wife is on leave for a few days while you recover then she's being assigned to you until you have full range of motion …"

Sam held up his hand. Leave it to Frank to have all the bases covered.

"Thank you."

Dr. Miller handed Andy a script. "Here's your husband's pain medication. He's already had a shot, but he'll probably need a pill in a couple hours."

"Thank you, Dr. Miller."

"Don't take this personally, but hopefully I won't see you 2 for awhile."

Both Sam and Andy laughed as they thanked the doctor and left. Oliver was waiting in the waiting room.

"Thought you could use a ride."

"Thanks brother."

Oliver looked at Andy. "He alright?"

"Just bruised."

Oliver smiled. "Then let's get you guys home."

Andy waved goodbye to Oliver and closed the door. Sam was already on the couch.

She pulled her bracelet out of her pocket and set it on the coffee table before sitting next to Sam. He pulled her against him.

"What'd ya say we grab a shower, baby?"

Upstairs, Andy commented, "This is a switch," as she helped Sam get undressed.

"Yeah, I liked it the other way around …"

Andy laughed until she took his shirt off and saw the nasty bruise that had already started to form. Sam watched as she turned pale. In the mirror he saw why … he also saw the guilt flash in her eyes. "It's _not_ your fault."

"Yeah, it is … you were there because of me."

Sam took her in his arms. "No, I was there because that's where we were dispatched."

Andy lowered her head and kissed his chest where the bruise was forming. "I love you."

By the time they made their way downstairs there was a knock on the door. Andy opened it to find their friends bringing their gear and food.

"We're not here to visit, we just wanted to drop your gear, your truck and some food off … we'll check on you later, Sam," and Traci herded their friends out.

Frank called to check up on Sam and to issue orders he was on leave until healed.

"Dammit, Frank, just 'cause I'm a little beat up …"

"Beat up? Brother, we dug 2 slugs outta the left side of your vest …"

"Yeah, I know exactly where they hit. I'll be sportin' the reminder for a few days …"

"Then you _know_ how lucky you are …"

Sam looked at Andy. "Yeah, man, I know."

"Then you know why you're both takin' a few days off …"

Sam laughed softly. "At the risk of sounding like her, fine. We'll see ya in a couple of days. Hey Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

They fell asleep like any other night - with Andy's head on his chest and their arms around each other.

Around 1 a.m. Andy woke to the sound of Sam taking shallow breaths in pain. The quick rise and fall of his chest under her head having woke her.

When she tried to move his right arm tightened. She kissed his chest. Sam relaxed his grip allowing Andy to turn on the light.

Getting out of bed, Andy went around to Sam's side to get his pills and water. Using his right arm, he propped himself up enough to take them from her. After sitting the glass back on the nightstand, Andy crawled back in bed. The meds had begun to kick in and Sam reached for her pulling her back against him, whispering, "Thank you," as he wrapped his left arm around her.

"Babe, be careful …"

"I don't care how much it hurts, I am _not_ sleepin' without my arms around you."

Andy laced her fingers through Sam's and brought his right hand up and kissed it, placing it over her heart so he could feel it beat.

"Feel that? I'm ok and whether that arm's around me or not, I'll be right here."

Sam kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes once more.

Sam woke the next morning when Andy tried to get up.

"Where are you goin', woman?"

Andy laughed as she kissed him before getting out of bed.

"Andy …"

"Babe, you need more water to take another pill before the pain hits."

"What I _need_ is you, so get back here …"

Andy came back with a glass of water. Handing him a pill, she smiled and promised she would … as soon as he took the pain killer.

"Baby, it doesn't even hurt that bad right now."

"Yeah, well, forgive me for _not_ wanting to see you in pain."

"Come here," Sam said as Andy laid down and put her head on the pillow next to his, facing him. Sam kissed her nose and said, "I told you yesterday, this wasn't your fault, stop blamin' yourself, Andy. It's not the first time I've been hurt, it's not gonna be the last."

Andy closed her eyes at the thought of Sam being hurt.

"Hey, don't do that. We _all_ run the risk of gettin' hurt."

Andy nodded. "I know. I just don't like bein' the reason …"

"Do you remember what Sarah said the day after you met?"

Andy looked at Sam, not sure of what exactly he was referring to since Sarah had said _a lot_ that first meeting.

"She said we'd take a bullet for each other without thinking twice … and my sister was right, baby … I would and I _will_ take a bullet for you …"

"Uh, babe, you _did_, you took 2 to the vest yesterday …"

"And I'd do it again in a heartbeat …"

Andy placed her hand over his heart.

"You're gonna feel it beating for the rest of our lives, McNally …"

"Promise?" Andy whispered, tears in her voice.

"Andy, what happened to Jerry is _not_ gonna happen to me."

"You don't know _that_ …"

"Yeah, baby, I do and so do you. Come here."

Andy shifted so Sam could put his arms around her as she put her head back on his chest. She knew he was right and she fell asleep with his heart beating under her hand. Sam laid there and held her as she slept.


	40. Chapter 40

Sam ended up being off for a week, losing the use of his arm for a couple of days when the muscles tightened.

Oliver dropped by one day before Sam went back to work to find a _very_ strained McSwarek.

"Brother, _what_ the hell is goin' on here? I don't think I've ever seen you two like this … wait, yeah I did, once … after you broke up with her … _please_ tell me you guys are ok …"

"We'll be fine."

"Yeah, that's why two people who are next to never apart aren't even in the same room in your own home … what happened?!"

"I took two bullets to the vest …"

"We _all_ know _that_, Sammy …"

"Yeah, nobody better than the woman in the other room. She blamed herself after I came home."

"What? Why?"

"Because she's McNally, brother, and that same lion's heart that makes her one of the best cops I know, _always_ thinks it's her fault if things go sideways …"

"And you've always been right there telling her it's not her fault and reassuring her …"

"I did _that_ the night I came home …"

"But?"

"But nothin'."

"Nice try, brother, I _know_ there's more to what's goin' on with you two than just her thinkin' it's her fault."

Neither Sam or Oliver had any idea she was walking by and heard Oliver say it was her fault, nor did they hear her go upstairs.

Sam shook his head, he shoulda known better than to try and hide this from Ollie.

"This is the first time she's ever had to see me … Even after the pounding I took from Brennan, yeah, she was there when I came out, but Ollie, she didn't have to watch my body heal …"

"You mean see that you're human?"

Sam laughed. "Brother, we _all_ know I'm not infallible."

A sound in the hall caused both to turn and look.

It was hard to say who was more surprised by the bag in Andy's hand - Sam or Oliver.

"Where d'you think you're goin'?" Sam asked.

"Traci's on her way to pick me up."

"Why?"

"I'll stay there tonight …" Andy's voice trailed off.

Sam got up and walked to Andy. "What's goin' on, McNally?"

Andy didn't trust herself to speak and couldn't look at Sam, knowing Oliver blamed her for almost getting his other best friend killed. She was grateful when the knock came at the door.

Sam opened the door and Traci stood on their doorstep. Traci looked from Andy to Sam and back. She had _no_ idea what was going on or _why_ Andy called asking if she could stay the night - a request that baffled Traci considering Sam was still healing and both were on leave.

"Ready?"

Andy couldn't look at Sam as he watched her as she whispered, "Yeah." She let Traci take her bag. She was just about to walk out the door when Sam reached for her hand … Andy squeezed his hand and forced herself to leave. In the car, she let the tears fall.

Sam watched Nash pull away with Andy in the passenger seat. Closing the door, he couldn't stop wondering what happened.

Returning to the living room, he sat on a chair, he couldn't sit on the couch without her, and looked at a confused Oliver.

"Don't ask, brother, because I have _no_ idea what the fuck just happened."

"Andy? What happened? What's goin' on? And _don't_ tell me everything's fine and that nothin's wrong … you and Sam have been inseparable since you got back together. He's hurt and you … left him."

"I haven't left him, Trac. I just can't watch him hurt knowin' it's my fault."

"You _know_ he doesn't blame you, right?"

"But Oliver does."

"Andy …"

"I heard him Trac. I mean I know the last couple days haven't been our best …"

"What? Why?"

Back at the house, Oliver was asking the same questions.

"Remember before Nash showed up I said this was the first time she's ever had to watch me heal?"

"Yeah, but I don't get it, brother, what's the big deal?"

"Remember when Callaghan was shot?"

Oliver nodded. "What about it?"

"Brother, maybe you haven't noticed, but that girl of mine doesn't do helpless well and watchin' someone heal, you're helpless to _do_ anything. I don't know how many times she told me she didn't know what to do for Callaghan, not that the son of a bitch did anything to make it easier on her …"

"And you have?"

"Oh no, you're not gonna find _any_ similarities between me and Callaghan and how she's treated … until she walked out that door, I woulda put money on us goin' back to normal after I got healed up."

Over at her place, Traci was hearing the same.

"Then _what_ are you doin' _here_, instead of at home, by your husband's side?"

Andy looked at Traci.

"Sweetie, we _all_ know about you changing your statuses."

Andy laughed, "How?"

"When the doctor came into the waiting room looking for your husband."

"You mean you've known for over 6 months and you never asked?"

"Figured you'd tell me if you wanted me to know, though since _Sam_ told an entire waiting room full of people …"

Andy played with her ring as she thought back to the night of the _RUSH_ concert and Oliver's teasing.

"We've never even _talked_ about gettin' married, just that we want to spend the rest of our lives together …"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid of makin' the same mistake twice and messin' up the greatest thing that's ever happened to me …"

"Andy, the man _adores_ you …"

"Traci, we haven't even been together a year, yet …"

"Do you love him?"

Andy gave Traci a _stupid question_ look as she said, "You know I do."

"It may sound like I'm pointing out the obvious here, but sweetie, he's _not_ Luke. No matter _what_'s been goin' on the last couple of days, trust me when I say you bein' there, even if you can't _do_ anything, is all he needs … and wants."

Sam couldn't believe how much time they were wasting on the 'good detective' when he didn't know what was going on with Andy.

"I was there, remember? I had to watch the way he treated her, watch the way she doubted herself because of him."

"Then you're gonna have to explain why you're not gettin' along …"

"Who said we're not gettin' along? It isn't _about_ gettin' along, brother … Remember that remark you made about her seein' that I'm human?"

"You know _why_ I said that?"

Sam smiled, "Why don't you enlighten me?"

"_You_ know you're not infallible, but brother, to that girl of yours? Up until a few days ago, to her, you were bulletproof …"

Sam laughed at Oliver's choice of words. Sam sobered.

"Seriously, brother, we weren't _not_ gettin' along … ok yeah, she's havin' a hard time _not_ bein' able to _do_ anything but sit and watch as my skin turns a rainbow of colors, but brother, after watchin' her go through the shit Callaghan put her through by shuttin' _her_ out but lettin' Rosatti in … that she _was_ still here shows it _wasn't_ affecting _us_ … or it wasn't until …" Sam trailed off as he thought back to what was said before Andy's abrupt exit.

"_Son of a_ …"

Oliver looked at Sam, confused.

"What?"

"I know why she left."

"Care to share?"

"She thinks you - or me - blame her."

"What? Why would she think _that_?"

"Because _both_ of us used the words _her fault_ … and brother if she walked by and that was _all_ she heard …"

Oliver closed his eyes. "Oh shit …"

"That about says it. It's bad enough she blames herself, but if she thinks _you_ blame her … that's just gonna bring back memories of Jerry …"

Oliver shook his head.

"She was wearing Callaghan's ring when _he_ got shot …" Sam said more to himself than Oliver.

"Brother, you forget, she's wearin' yours …"

"It's not the same, Ollie, and you know it. Hell, we haven't even _talked_ about gettin' married. The only time it's been the topic of conversation was that night at the Amphitheater when you were teasin' her about it. Like I said, we both know it's gonna happen, we just haven't talked about it."

Oliver looked at his friend. That he was talking it, spoke _volumes_ about how much Sam loved Andy. "But you want to." It wasn't so much a question as it was stating a fact.

"Brother, if I knew it wouldn't send her runnin' scared I'd put another ring on her finger tomorrow."

Oliver just continued to look at Sam.

"Remember what I said about a lot happenin' in a year …"

"Brother, go buy your girl a ring while I apologize for anything she thinks she heard …"

Sam laughed. "I'm not exactly in any condition to be goin' anywhere, man, because if I was, I wouldn't be _here_, I'd be at Nash's …"

Oliver laughed. "I didn't mean this minute. I still gotta talk to her … it's past time her and I had a 'talk' anyway …"

"Do I wanna know?"

Oliver just smiled. "Ok, brother, I'm gonna go visit Nash, see if I can't get your girl to come home where she belongs."

"Thanks, brother," Sam clapped Oliver on the back.

With Andy not there, Sam grabbed the laptop and started looking. He knew what he was looking for, he just needed specifics to take to the jeweler.


	41. Chapter 41

Oliver knocked on Nash's door. Opening the door, Traci was surprised to see Oliver standing there, she'd half expected to see Sam, even though he was under doctor's orders no driving.

"Oliver."

"Hey Nash, I need to talk to your house guest … alone please."

"Come on in."

Oliver stepped inside and closed the door while Traci went to get Andy.

Knocking on her bedroom door, Traci stuck her head in and said, "You've got company."

Thinking it was Sam, Andy's automatic question was, "How did he get here?"

"It's not Sam, sweetie, it's Oliver."

Andy got up and went to the living room. Sitting on the couch, Andy didn't even look at Oliver as he sat on the coffee table in front of her.

Oliver cut right to it. "He _doesn't_ blame you, Andy … neither do I."

"But I heard _you_ say it's my fault …"

"No, you heard me confirm to Sammy that it _wasn't_ your fault and that you shouldn't blame yourself."

"He was there _because_ of me, Oliver!"

"You gotta stop thinkin' _everything_ that goes wrong is your fault, Andy."

"You're the one that said I was cursed."

Oliver gave a small laugh. "You've come _a long way_ since that rookie. Listen to me, Andy, you're a great cop. Sammy's gettin' hurt, hell, _anything_ that happens with Sammy, you take to heart because for some crazy reason, you fell in love with my brother."

Andy couldn't help the smile.

"I know it's hard to see him hurt, I know you been down this road before, but there's a _big_ difference between Sammy and Callaghan, you don't have to _do_ anything to make Sammy smile or feel better, your bein' there is all he needs …"

Oliver smiled gently. "It's all he _wants_."

Tears filled Andy's eyes.

"Why'd you leave?"

"Because I couldn't be there if he blamed me …"

"Well since he _doesn't_, what'd ya say you let me take you home? I know that's where Sammy wants you and those tears tell me that's where you wanna be too."

Andy just nodded.

"Hey Nash?" Oliver called.

Traci came out of Leo's room, "Yeah?"

"Hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna take McNally back home."

Traci smiled. "Go ahead, I don't think she wanted to be here anyway. Lemme just go grab her bag."

Traci came back out with Andy's bag and handed it to Oliver before hugging Andy. Oliver carried her bag out and opened Andy's door.

Pulling up to the house, he didn't bother going inside, they needed to work this out on their own, Oliver smiled, not that there was anything to 'work out' … they just needed each other. Oliver opened her door and got her bag out of the back and carried it to the door. He set it on the step, gave Andy a hug and left.

She was a little nervous opening the door, afraid he'd be mad. The last thing she expected was to be kissed as soon as she walked through the door.


	42. Chapter 42

Sam took both her hands in his and walked into the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled Andy into his lap. Andy let out a slight squeal - part surprise part fear of hurting him. He read the fear in her eyes before he pulled her back against him and whispered, "I'm ok," before kissing her neck. As much as she loved sitting back against him, Andy needed to look him in the eye. Sam was a little confused when Andy got up until she straddled his lap, facing him.

He brushed her hair back and kissed her. "I'm not sure what you heard, but I'm sorry."

This time it was Andy who kissed him. "I think _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be sorry."

Sam had both hands on her hips. "I'm just glad you're home."

If there was _one_ thing Sam knew about the woman in his lap, it was if it was important, she would talk when she was ready. So he just sat there and held her … and waited.

When Andy dropped her head onto his chest, Sam dropped his hands to her thighs.

"I'm sorry about the last couple of days.

You'd think after everything I went through with Luke, your takin' 2 to the vest wouldn't be a big deal … but I've realized somethin' the last couple of days … no matter what I did, it wouldn't've mattered.

Sure, he didn't _say_ it, but typical GQ, his actions spoke louder than his words and his _actions_ said he didn't _want_ me there, I just couldn't see it at the time.

And even though you only took them to the vest and the only 'damage' is bruising I couldn't help that helpless feeling … or the fear that maybe you didn't want me here …

Remember the day I said that you 'n me aren't the same as me 'n Luke?"

Sam smiled and nodded even though she wasn't looking at him.

"I was never afraid to lose Luke, yeah I was going through the motions, even accepting his proposal after I _found_ the ring, but my heart was never _in_ it … it's always belonged to you …

And the idea that I could lose _you_ terrifies me."

"Andy …"

"I'm sorry I left. I just couldn't be here thinkin' Oliver blamed me. I couldn't be the reason he lost _both_ his best friends within a year …"

Andy's voice was filled with tears.

"When I heard Oliver … it just felt like the last 9 months hadn't happened and I was standing in the lot of the Penny wondering what _I_ did wrong, where _we_ _went_ wrong …"

The tears in her voice a moment ago were now falling onto Sam's shirt. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

"You think I don't _know_ that you've had a tough time with this? Baby, _why_ do you think I haven't pushed? The _last_ thing I wanted was for you to feel that way again. I don't _ever_ want you to feel that way.

Let's get one thing straight - I'm never _not_ gonna want you here.

It's no secret Callaghan and I aren't exactly the best of friends. I _hated_ how he treated you. I never understood how someone as caring and compassionate as you are would be involved with someone like him. To him they're victims or suspects, but to you," he smiled remembering all the times she'd gone above and beyond, "they're someone's family or friend.

I told you before, you were _not_ responsible for Jerry not waitin' for backup and baby, you have _no_ control over where we get dispatched to or what we're gonna find when we walk in there.

As for doin' somethin' wrong, baby, _I'm_ the one that did _that_ because _you_ tried …

And for the record, _nothin'_ or _no one_ is gonna change the last 9 months or how far we've come _in_ those 9 months. Or the fact that this is _exactly_ where I wanna be, now and always."

Sam tipped her chin up so she was looking at him as he took her left hand and touched the ring on her finger as he looked her in the eye and said, "You know this is gonna be replaced, right?"

Andy nodded.

"Ollie asked me at the concert why I hadn't put another ring on here, instead of this one, I told him we weren't rushing it … no pun intended … after the year we've had. He asked me again after you left and the honest answer was I'd put a ring on it tomorrow … but like I told him, we've had a helluva year, it's what we both want, but baby, I'm _not _puttin' that ring there just to make our friends happy. I put that ring on your finger it's not comin' off except on our wedding day when I put your wedding ring with it.

Now, if you're ready for that, say the word and I'll start shoppin', but if you're not …"

Sam was cut off when Andy kissed him.

When the kiss ended, Sam leaned his forehead against hers and with a smile said, "In case you're worried, McNally, that was _not_ my proposal."

Andy laughed softly.

Sam knew he lost her when she dropped her head onto his chest.

"Hey? What's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"Just thinkin'," was her muffled response.

"Imagine that," Sam said dryly, running his hands up her back, "about?"

"I told Frank I didn't think I could pay the cost of doing this job."

Sam sucked in a breath and his hands stilled. "What? When?"

"The day of my evaluation."

Sam let out the breath he'd been holding. He remembered that day, they weren't together, she'd been partnered with Williams.

"We had just come off _the_ shift from hell. Frank was amazing. He didn't judge, he just sat there and listened. Then, as Oliver would say, I was given a 'talk'. He didn't patronize or belittle, he didn't play down the seriousness of it, he didn't shrug it off like it wasn't a big deal ..."

Sam cupped her face, making her look at him.

"You tellin' me that _that_ early in your _career_, Callaghan..."

Andy gave him a half smile and shrugged.

Sam laughed in disbelief. "The guy's a bigger ass than I gave him credit for. You _don't_ act like it didn't happen and you damn well don't act like it doesn't matter because if you do, pretty soon nothing matters …"

Andy looked away. Knowing both were thinking of her dad before he got it together.

"_That_ was why I told Frank I didn't think I could pay the cost of this job. Becoming like my dad - or that woman - wasn't a price I was willing to pay. But Frank, like I said, he was amazing. He didn't tell me what I _wanted_ to hear, he told me what I _needed_ to hear …"

"And what was that?"

"That the uniform didn't make the cop, the cop made the uniform. I know, it was nothin' _you_ hadn't told me on different occasions but you weren't there … and Frank, he wasn't my T.O or friend or whatever we were at that point, he was my boss, and I needed to hear _him_ say it was ok to have a shitty shift.

As the daughter of a cop, I thought I _knew_ what it was like, man, was I wrong! Just having you in my life, before we got together … I _never_ worried about Luke or my dad like that! If we weren't assigned to work a shift together I worried about what kinda shift you'd have … it's not as bad as after the grenade, but, I don't think I've _ever_ worried about someone as much as I do you."

Sam was still rubbing her back when he asked, "What brought this on?"

Andy placed her hand over his heart. "What was it you said that night at the Alpine? Something about wondering why you got into this business …"

"Andy, you _know_ why you became a cop."

"Do I? Because suddenly it doesn't feel like it was _my_ decision, but something I did to make my dad happy …"

"What're you sayin'?"

"I'm sayin' I feel like that same rookie who stood in Frank's office with a choice to make. Only this time the choice is you or my job …"

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Exactly _what_ are you sayin', woman? And you damn well better not be thinkin' of throwin' my words from that night at the Penny back at me. Because _we can_ be cops _and_ be together! We _will_ be cops and the together part _isn't_ an option!"

Andy smiled. "I know. Bein' at Traci's tonight was kinda like lookin' in the cabinet at all the memories we'd made as rookies. Only at Traci's, instead of lookin' at pictures, I was lookin' at a ring … and remembering every second of _every moment_ we've spent together. Both on the job and like this …"

"Frank may've asked before you got cut loose if you wanted to be there, but I won't, I don't _have_ to, I _know_ this is where you want to be."

Andy just smiled.

"You gonna tell me I'm wrong?"

"Why would I? I came to the same conclusion at Traci's as I did that day at the station … no matter what _has_ happened or what _will_ happen - injuries and all - there's _nowhere_ else I wanna be."

"That leaves 1 question, McNally - what happens now?"

"We finish out your medical leave and go back to work."

"After what happened, after what I've _heard_ tonight, you want me to believe that's _it_?! That we go back to active duty like nothin' happened? Sorry, McNally, _not_ gonna happen!"

"Of course something _happened_, I'm not sayin' it _didn't_, what I _am_ sayin' is that we _both_ have jobs to do, jobs we love …"

Andy smiled, thinking back to her tribunal after their suspensions when she'd told a room full of her superior officers how much she loved her job. What she _hadn't_ told them was that she also loved her partner and it was thanks to their job that they'd found each other.

"Ok, where'd you go _that_ time?" Sam teased.

Andy grinned. "Just back to tribunal …"

"Why?"

"Because I said not quite the same thing to … what was it you called them? a bunch of 'white shirts' ..."

Sam smiled because that was _exactly_ what he'd said.

"… about how bein' a cop was a job I loved."

"That you definitely do."

If he hadn't been hurt Andy probably would've hit his chest for teasing her, instead she tried to get up … but Sam wouldn't let her.

"Forget it woman, you're _not_ goin' anywhere."

When Andy gave him a dirty look, he apologized for teasing her. She rested her cheek on his chest and he kissed her temple.

"Seriously baby, are you _sure_ you can do that?"

Andy couldn't look at Sam as she said, "Since I'm not going back on the streets …"

Sam pushed her away and cupped her face so she was looking at him. "What? Why?"

"It's not permanent. Just until you're …"

"You _know_ I'm going to suit back up your first shift back right?"

"Sam, no …"

"Do you _really_ want to have this conversation _twice_?"

"One shift … that's it."

Sam chuckled. "What's wrong, McNally, don't like riding with me anymore?"

There was no hint of laughter as Andy said, "You _know_ why I can't get back in the habit of us riding together."

"I know, baby, I know."

Getting back into the habit of riding together wasn't something _either_ of them could do.

Three days later before he started Parade, Frank welcomed them back and assigned Andy to the Ds.

"Own it, Best, you 'let' me come back to work because McNally won't let me outta her sight yet …"

"Don't know what you're talkin' about, Swarek."

"Bullshit you don't, Frank …"

"Don't what?" Andy asked from the door of Frank's office.

"Frank's tryin' to deny the reason I'm back to work is because _you_ won't let me outta your sight."

Andy laughed. "It's ok, Frank. I don't care if he knows. Turnabout _is_ fair play, Swarek, you pulled the spouse card on me …"

Sam looked at her a little shocked.

"Both Frank _and_ Dr. Miller signed off on the condition I made sure my _husband_ didn't overdo it … and that's _exactly_ what I'm gonna do, so get used to it!" and she headed for Sam's office.

Sam shook his head and laughed at Andy's retreating form.

Sam turned back to Frank. "How long?"

"What?"

Sam nodded toward the door.

Frank shook his head. "Not my call, man."

"What? Then who?"

Before Frank could respond Sam waved him off. "Forget it, man. I'll put money on the woman that just left bein' the answer."

Frank neither confirmed or denied Sam's comment, instead he just smiled.

"That's all the answer I need," Sam laughed.

"Sorry."

"Don't be," Sam replied as he headed for the door.

Andy was sitting on his desk when Sam walked in.

Walking over to stand in front of her, Sam put his hands on his desk on both sides of her thighs. "Well, at least now I know why you were ok with me comin' back … you get to babysit me!"

Andy put her hands on his chest. "You got a problem spendin' time with me, Det.?"

"If we were home, I'd _show_ you the answer to that, woman!"

Andy giggled before kissing Sam.

Sobering, Andy looked at Sam's chest as she said, "I'm sorry if it feels that way …"

Sam tipped Andy's face up and rested his forehead against hers.

"Hey, I've been there, remember? It's ok."

"I know it's not the same …"

"Baby, whether I'm on the streets or not, I still wear the shield."

Andy smiled.

"Since Frank wouldn't, why don't _you_ tell me how long you're gonna be a distraction."

"I would, but there's no timeline for when I hit the streets again."

"Don't you mean we?"

"Sam, we agreed, you're only coming back out for 1 shift …"

Sam chuckled, "I remember."

Andy was assigned to the Ds for 2 weeks before Sam convinced her he was recovered enough for her to go back out on patrol.


	43. Chapter 43

Frank was handing out assignments and everybody expected Andy to be assigned to the Ds again and cheered when Frank gave the order "Swarek, you're accompanying McNally on patrol today," before dismissing Parade with, "Serve. Protect. Swarek, be careful," causing everyone to smile.

Nick stopped in front of Andy.

"Swarek, _when_ are you gonna give me back my partner?"

Sam laughed. "Sooner than I'd like … and she's _my_ partner, Collins."

When Nick looked at her, Andy replied, "Tomorrow."

"In _that_ case, drinks at the Penny tonight _and_ tomorrow are on me."

"You don't have to do that, Nick," Andy was quick to decline.

"You kidding? Tonight we celebrate both of you bein' active, tomorrow we celebrate me gettin' my partner back!"

"Careful Collins …"

The two men laughed, Andy, however, was silent. Sam removed her bracelet before gently pushing Andy away so he could stand, wrapping his arm around her waist, he put his hand on her back.

"Let's hit it," and they headed for their respective rides.

By the time they got to the car Andy's anxiety was palpable. Sam grabbed her hand over the computer.

"Look at me."

Andy stared out the windshield.

"Andy, look at me."

When she finally looked at him, the ghosts of their last shift on the streets were in her tear filled eyes.

"_Still_ wanna tell me you're fine?"

Andy swallowed around the lump in her throat and shook her head.

"Didn't think so. You been beatin' yourself up over this for the last month, Andy. I'm gonna tell you _one last time_ … it _wasn't_ your fault! I _knew_ my comin' back was gonna be rougher on you than you wanted to let on …"

"I'll be fine."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, that's why there's tears in those beautiful eyes of yours. Nice try, but I ain't buyin' it. That lion's heart you've got is strong and compassionate but too quick to take the blame. As much as it hurts _me_ to know someone could hurt you, on one hand I'm grateful for the shit you went through because it gave you your lion's heart, but at the same time, it's also the reason you're so quick to blame yourself for things you have no control over. And _that_ hurts because you shouldn't. You think I don't know that anything and everything that has to do with me you take like a shot to the heart? Baby, after everything we've been through I can't tell you what it means that _that_ never changed, but I can't just sit back and watch as you let fear and insecurity dictate how you do this job … I won't. Not as your T.O or your partner because as your T.O and partner if I did I wouldn't be doing _my_ job … "

"I guess that's my problem, I don't see you as my T.O and partner … I meant it that day I said we'd been trained by the best because you _are_ the best …"

"We're only as good as our rookies and _I_ had the best."

Andy finally smiled.

"There's a reason we wear the vest, it's so we can come home to those we love and who are crazy enough to love us. It's a little harder for _us_, because we _both_ know what it takes to make it home every night but you only make it harder on yourself by blaming yourself for something that's out of your control."

Logically, she knew Sam was right. "I can't help it. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I keep tellin' ya, woman, you'll never know. I get that you worry … you think I don't? And that's one of _the_ reasons for the rule, so you _don't_ take it personal and blame yourself if things go sideways. Our problem is I can't just hand you off to somebody else. You're _my_ rookie, _my_ partner, and whether we've made it legal yet or not, you're my _wife_. So it's _my_ fault this is so hard on you and I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I _love_ riding together and it scares me that someone could take that away …"

"McNally, you're too good of a cop to _ever_ let that happen!"

It had been a _long_ time since Sam had used his T.O voice with her in a cruiser and it made her smile.

"I told you, I would have faith in you when you didn't, I know right now you're afraid to have faith in yourself, but I'm not. _Nothing_ is gonna happen to either one of us this shift … I promise."

And with that they pulled onto the streets and began a shift that was filled with radio silence as they rode around the streets of the city.

When shift was over and they'd both showered and changed they met everyone at the Penny for drinks.

Arm in arm, they walked through the door of the bar and were greeted by Liam. "Forget it Sam, no tab for the 2 of you tonight, it's been taken care of. You guys just enjoy yourselves."

Sam and Andy smiled.

"Shots or beer?"

"Beer."

"Bottle or on tap?"

"Draught is good enough for me," Andy said.

"Make it 2."

"Another pitcher it is. I'll bring it over."

"Thanks Liam."

Andy turned to Sam. "Why don't you have 1 with Oliver before you join us?"

Sam kissed her temple. "I'll be there in a minute."

Andy headed for the rookie table while Sam took his seat at the bar.

"Hey brother."

"Hey brother, how'd her first shift go?"

"Your radio was as dead as ours man …"

"Actually, brother, yours was the only radio that was quiet. Frank figured it would help her if you weren't on the live wire so he had the frequency in your cruiser changed …"

When Sam glanced at the table Oliver was quick to re-assure him. "_Everybody_ knows to downplay today's activity. Frank just thought it would help …"

"Yeah, we had a bit of a chat before pulling out of the lot this morning. It's been a month and she _still_ blamed herself. I wasn't gonna let her back on the streets carryin' that around."

Oliver smiled. "I do not envy you, brother."

Sam laughed. "Thanks for that. Alright brother, don't take this personally, but she's a sight prettier than you are …"

Oliver laughed. "None taken, let's go join her," and he grabbed his drink.

Sam walked up behind her, without a word Andy leaned back against him. He took the beer Nick offered him. Sam and Andy were surprised when Nick asked for everyone's attention.

"One of 15s finest detectives, Sam Swarek, was _finally_ given the all clear to return to duty, not by the doctor or even Frank but by Andy today, so if you would, raise a glass and join me in saying, _Welcome back, Sam_."

There were a few chuckles but everyone raised their glasses.

Sam and Andy were lightweights, only having 2 drinks before saying their goodbyes.

"You ok?" Sam asked once they were in the truck.

"Yeah, I'm just not up for a crowd tonight. I've had you to myself all day, tomorrow everything goes back to normal."

Sam laughed at the dejected look on her face.

"In case you forgot, I'll be there when your shift ends. If you want, we can meet somewhere for lunch ..."

"No, I don't want to bother you …"

"Uh, you are _never_ a bother. Besides, Frank pretty much told me it'll be one of our assignments during Parade tomorrow."

Andy laughed. "He wouldn't …"

Sam just looked at her. "He knows I'll worry, this way …"

"In _that_ case, I may have to have a talk with Frank about making that assignment permanent …"

Sam smiled. "You won't get any objections from me."

They held hands all the way home. At home, they changed and curled up on the couch. With his arms around her, Sam asked, "You ok?"

"Hmmm?"

"You're awful quiet, what's goin' on with you?"

"Just thinkin' …"

"About?"

"What you said this mornin' …"

"What about it?"

"How do you always know what I need to hear?"

Sam chuckled as he kissed her temple. "Because I know _you_."


	44. Chapter 44

The next morning they showered and got ready for work like any other day, only it _wasn't_ any other day, Andy would be back on the streets for the first time in almost 8 months … without him. They took what was now considered 'their' spot at the back and listened as Frank handed out assignments … his last being Andy and Sam.

"McNally, you're officially off babysitting detail, so it is to Sam's disappointment that I put you back in Collins' squad car for 10 hours today … well, 9 if you don't count the hour you and Swarek are gonna take for lunch together, because I refuse to take responsibility for the 2 of you if we try and keep you apart today! Swarek, you're on your own, playin' catch up. Alright everybody … Serve. Protect and remember … it's only 10 hrs."

There were a few chuckles as everyone filed out … everyone but Sam and Andy. Andy waited until the room cleared out before she turned in Sam's arms. Sam removed her bracelet and kissed her ring as Andy buttoned her sleeve.

"Text me with where you want to meet for lunch," Sam said with a smile as they headed for the coffee station. As she handed him his coffee, Andy grinned and said, "Can't promise that's the only 1 I'll send."

Sam smiled. "Me either. Alright baby, as much as I wanna keep you here with me, you gotta get outta here and protect the streets of Toronto, just tell Collins I said _he_ better protect _you_!"

Andy smiled as she kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you."

Sam watched as Andy climbed into the passenger side of a squad car and waited until Nick pulled out before he headed back to the Parade Room to see what car number Collins was driving. He kept an ear to the radio all day, listening for her voice to pick up any calls.

Her first text arrived about 15 minutes after Nick left the barn: _You ok?_

Sam smiled as he sent back: _15 minutes down, only 3 hours 45 minutes til I see you. What about you?_

His smile faded as Andy sent back: _I guess … I miss you._

Andy wasn't surprised when Sam sent back: _Me too, baby._

They'd been gone an hour when Andy got her next text from Sam, she couldn't hide the smile as she read: _Hey beautiful_.

Nick shook his head at the smile that broke out on Andy's face as she checked her messages, sending 1 of her own.

Andy giggled quietly as she sent back: _Hey detective … where's your partner?_

Sam laughed when he read her reply and was quick to send back: _Riding with somebody else today … Where's yours?_

Andy smiled as she sent back: _Stuck in his office._

Sam grinned as he responded: _What about the guy behind the wheel?_

Andy glanced at Nick as she replied to Sam: _Great guy but he's not you, so he's __not__ my partner! … We just work together 10hrs/day._

Sam smiled, as he teased her with: _Should I be worried?_

Andy laughed outright causing Nick to look at her. "Sorry."

Andy fired off her response: _Yeah, actually you should … when _I _have to be worried about Sarah!_

Sam laughed out loud at her response, causing Frank to look as he walked by.

"Sorry Frank."

Frank shook his head and asked the question he already _knew_ the answer to. "McNally?"

"Yeah."

"Shoulda known you wouldn't get any work done today."

Sam didn't bother to try and hide his smile as he said, "Sorry boss."

Frank chuckled as he said, "Yeah, and you look it too."

Sam laughed and said, "You'd be the same if it was Noelle."

Frank turned away but not before Sam heard the quietly spoken, "Shit," that was Frank's acknowledgement.

"Since you're not gonna get anything done today anyway, you don't _have_ to come back after you meet McNally … but _she_ has to go back out with Collins."

"Good by me, I got somethin' I wanna get for her …"

"Then go, do whatever you gotta do … because tomorrow I expect my detective back."

Sam laughed. "You got it, Frank, thanks."

When Frank walked away Sam reached for his phone.

Andy was surprised when Sam didn't respond, then laughed when the phone rang. Connecting the call, she tried to keep it professional .

"McNally."

"You'll pay for that last text, McNally."

Andy giggled. "Hi."

"Hi … Any idea where you wanna meet up?"

They debated back and forth before Nick suggested 1 of the restaurants close by. They were leaning against the hood when Sam pulled in. Nick pushed himself off the car as Sam walked up to Andy. "Text me when you're ready."

Nick …"

"Collins, you don't _have_ to leave."

Nick smiled at his friends. "I know. I _want_ you guys to have this time to yourselves."

Sam shook Nick's hand. "Thanks man."

"Anytime man," he looked at Andy, "See ya in a bit."

"Thank you."

The restaurant Nick suggested had a patio and almost everybody was taking advantage of it so they decided to eat inside where there _weren't_ as many people. They sat in a corner booth. Once the waitress took their order and left them alone Sam told her about Frank walking passed his door as he read her text.

"Yeah, I got looks when I couldn't help a laugh."

Sam waited until after the waitress brought their lunch and left before taking Andy's hand and asking, "Honestly, baby, how'd it go this mornin'?"

"It was ok … quiet … I think it would've got to me if we hadn't been texting …"

"You _know_ you can call or text me _any_ time."

Andy smiled. "I know. How was yours?"

Sam winked at her. "Let's just say I missed my babysitter."

Andy laughed.

They finished their lunch and Andy sent Nick a text. They were sitting on the tailgate of the truck when Nick pulled in.

"Hate to break this up, but Andy we just got marked for a robbery a couple blocks over …"

Sam jumped off and lifted Andy down, she kissed his cheek before getting in the car. He waited until they pulled out to text her: _See ya back at the barn … be careful. I love you._

Nick apologized again on the way to the scene.

"It's ok, Nick … we understand." She was able to check her text before they got to the scene and smiled. She fired off a quick reply: _Don't worry. I'll text you when we're done. I love you._

Sam listened for her voice to come over the radio, "This is McNally, on scene with Collins," before he pulled out of the lot and pointed the truck in his desired direction.


	45. Chapter 45

Sam opened the store door.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey Chantelle."

For a big city store they had the small town attitude when it came to dealing with their customers.

"Haven't seen you in a while."

"No, haven't been in since I got her ring."

"Speaking of, when are you gonna let one of us design _the_ ring?"

Sam laughed. "That's 1 of the reasons I'm here."

Chantelle smiled. "_One_ of?"

There was laughter in Sam's voice as he said, "Yeah, I need 2 things …"

Sam walked out an hour later. The moment he got in the truck he checked his messages. Nothing from Andy. He called the station to see if she'd called in.

"Nothin' since she radioed that they were on scene, Detective."

Something in the voice caught Sam's attention.

"What _aren't_ you telling me, Davis?"

"It didn't exactly go down without a hitch …"

Sam closed his eyes, fearing the worst. "What happened?"

"They roughed Collins up a bit. Andy's fine but she won't leave the scene."

"Define _a bit_," Sam said as he started the truck.

"They pistol whipped him, Sam, while he was trying to protect …"

_Shit!_

"How bad?"

"Not as bad as it coulda been. Back up arrived within a few minutes of Andy's call."

"Who?"

There was a pause. "Peck."

"Hell, no wonder she's still on scene. She woulda sent Peck with Collins."

Yeah. Do you want her 20?"

Just then he heard her on the radio.

"This is McNally. Any word on Collins?"

"Not yet, McNally," was the response. "You alright?" Dispatch knew Sam was listening and needed to know.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Diaz and Epstein are escorting them back to the barn for processing. I'm still here with Shaw."

Sam thanked the officer and hung up knowing Andy would call or text him when she could. He was relieved when his phone beeped indicating a new text, he checked before leaving in case she needed something. Her text made him smile: _You probably checked in with the station but wanted you to hear it from me ... I'm ok. Nick will be, but I'm not sure if he'll be up for drinks tonight. Still on scene. Not sure when I'll get back to the barn. I love you._

Sam replied: _Want me to pick you up and we'll swing by the hospital?_

Andy smiled knowing Sam would need to see for himself that she was ok and just how badly Nick had been hurt, he would also want to know who Nick had been protecting and what he'd been protecting them from.

She sent back: _Did you get my location?_

Sam laughed as he sent back: _No, I waited to hear from you._

Andy gave him her location and wasn't surprised to get back a message telling her he'd be there as soon as he could.

She leaned against the cruiser to wait for Sam.

"Hey McNally, everything ok?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah, just waitin' for a grey F150," she grinned.

Before Oliver could say anymore Sam pulled up.

Getting out, Sam greeted his friend as Andy pushed away from the cruiser to put her arm around his waist grateful to see him.

Sam hugged her to his side, grateful she was ok ... though he had _every_ intention of finding out what exactly had gone down after she left him.

"You ready?"

"Definitely."

"Then let's get to the hospital" looking at Oliver he asked, "You got this or need us to stick around?"

"Got it covered."

Sam helped her into the truck before climbing behind the wheel and heading for the hospital. Andy stared out the window, her mind still on the events of the afternoon. Sam reached over and took her hand. Andy looked at him.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"We got there and since we didn't know what we were walking into Nick made the decision to go in first. That decision probably saved my life because the moment he walked through that door one of them grabbed the only woman inside while the guy closest to the door leveled his gun at Nick's chest. The woman got hit a few times before Nick was able to get to her …

I radioed for backup and the bus before I even got inside.

I guess they thought he answered the call solo because they were surprised to see me. Backup arrived in the form of Diaz and Epstein … and Gail Peck, the _last_ person I wanted to see but the one I _needed_ to see because she could go with Nick to the hospital.

Dov and Chris took them in for processing while I stayed with the woman - Beth Wilson."

Sam shook his head. "You put a victim first, imagine that."

Andy smiled. "EMS said she would be fine. Physically, she will be. Make up'll hide the evidence of what she went through today. But emotionally, there's no make up for that …"

"And there it is," Sam smiled, "that lion's heart that beats so strong."

Andy smiled.

Sam pulled into the hospital. Inside they found Gail.

"He's in X-ray."

"Gail, I'm sorry."

"For what? You saved his life. They woulda killed him if you hadn't walked through that door."

Sam asked the question he knew Andy was afraid to voice, "How bad is he?"

"The X-ray'll tell us if anything's broken, if not, he's a lucky son of a bitch getting off just with some …"

"Bruises," Nick said coming to join them.

Looking at Andy he asked, "How ya doin', partner?"

"I think that's _my_ question …"

"I'll answer yours after you answer mine," Nick said smiling at her.

"I'm fine. Beth is fine, she said to say thank you."

Nick smiled in relief to know she was ok.

"Doctor says I'll be sore, but I'm fine, nothin' to worry about … until Gail hits me," and he winked at Gail.

Gail glared at him before putting her arm around his waist allowing him to lean on her.

"We still on for drinks?"

Andy and Sam looked at each other. "You're not serious?"

"Absolutely. I am not gonna miss the chance to celebrate gettin' my partner back."

Sam let the partner comment slide in light of what happened.

"Peck?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, fine, whatever he wants."

Sam looked at Andy. "You up for it?"

"Yeah, I guess we can go for one."

Nick was given the next day off, and Andy, per a bug Sam put in Best's ear, was assigned follow up with the victim from the robbery. To their surprise, Sam was assigned to accompany her.

Andy stopped in the doorway a few days later, surprised to see her scrapbook on Sam's desk along with a box she recognized as one from _Made You Look_.


	46. Chapter 46

"You weren't supposed to see _that_," Sam said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"_Why_ do you have the scrapbook?" Sam pushed her into his office. Sitting on the edge of his desk he handed her the scrapbook. Andy flipped to the last page, as she'd expected, he had written a new note -

_From Day 1 - the day we became partners anyway - you've done this job with a compassion, courage and strength that is respected by your fellow uniforms and appreciated by those whose lives you touch … _

_Every once in awhile my girl forgets she's got a lion's heart, hopefully this'll remind you …_

Andy looked at Sam confused. He handed her the box. She opened it to find her newest charm - a lion with a red heart.

Andy laughed. "A lion's heart?"

Sam smiled as he put his hands on her waist. "Like I said, once in a while you forget, hopefully this'll remind you," and he reached into his pocket pulling out her bracelet before lifting the charm out of the box and attaching it.

Andy kissed Sam. "Thank you."

Sam smiled. "You're welcome."

Andy leaned her forehead against Sam's. "I don't know what kinda day _you've_ had, but all _I_ wanna do is go home, lock the door, turn off the phone and tell the world to go to hell."

Sam laughed. "Rough day?"

"That's 1 way to put it. If you wanna meet the gang at the Penny go ahead, I'll take a cab home," Sam frowned as he looked at her in question, "I'm not even gonna shower here, I'll wait until I get home."

"You are _not_ takin' a cab home, just let me file this paperwork and we can get outta here."

"You sure?"

Sam kissed her. "I'll take you and a shower over drinks with Shaw any and every day of the week! Why don't you go get changed and I'll meet ya outside the locker room."

Andy pushed herself away from Sam and headed for the locker room.

In the locker room, Andy was asked by both Traci _and_ Gail if they'd see her at the Penny.

"Not tonight. I just wanna go home and forget the rest of the world exists."

As he waited outside the locker room Sam fired off a text to the 1 person who could tell him what was going on with Andy - Nick: _Hey man, I got a girl who is NOT the girl I brought to work, WTF happened during your shift?!_

Nick wasn't surprised to get Sam's text and replied: _LONG day OVERFLOWING with assholes!_

Sam laughed as he read Nick's text, sending back: _THAT'S helpful … wanna be a little more specific, brother?_

As much as he hated to, Nick sent back: _Sorry brother, between you and her …_

Sam _didn't_ like the sound of that text but didn't get to reply as Andy emerged from the locker room. Pushing away from the wall he reached for her hand.

Sam was more than a little surprised when Andy fell asleep on the way home. She didn't do that unless she was stressed out which made him wonder about Nick's last text.

Carrying her inside, Sam laid her on the couch. After straightening up, he was about to turn for the door when he felt her hand. Sam took one look at her, picked her back up and carried her upstairs. After they showered and dressed Sam sat behind her and brushed her hair hoping to help her relax.

After Sam brushed her hair Andy dropped her head back against Sam's chest and felt his arms go around her. Kissing her temple, Sam asked, "Wanna talk about it?"

Knowing Sam had in all likelihood talked to Nick, she asked, "What did he tell you?"

"That it was between you and me."

Andy let out a deep breath, grateful Nick hadn't told him what happened. Andy entwined her fingers through Sam's. "Talk to me, McNally, what happened?"

"We answered a call that _should've_ been routine,"

"But?"

"He tried to get _friendly_ …"

"Meaning?"

"He was drunk, had been to one of the strip clubs downtown, guess he thought he was still there and that my uniform _wasn't_ real …"

"Andy …" Sam didn't like where this was going.

"Like I said, he tried to get friendly. I stopped by Frank's office before I went to yours and put in for a new blouse …"

"Why?!" Now that she mentioned it he wondered why she'd just been in her Dept. issued T-shirt in his office.

"Because there's no buttons on the one I wore this morning. He grabbed the front of my blouse and ripped it open."

"That bastard!"

"Babe, it's ok," she _tried_ to calm Sam down.

"It is _not_ ok, baby!"

"Babe, he got a knee to the groin for his efforts and the club he's at tonight is Division 15 of the TPS and instead of a warning or ticket for public intoxication he's up on charges for assaulting a police officer …"

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because it was safer to tell you here at home."

"After what he did that lion's heart wants to protect _him_?!" Sam asked, shocked.

"Him, no, but he's _not_ worth what it would cost _you_ if you did whatever you're thinkin' right now."

Sam laughed as tightened his hold on her before asking gently, "Are you ok?"

"I am now," she answered softly.

"What did Frank say when you told him?"

"I didn't tell him everything …"

"What?! Why the hell not?!"

Andy turned in his arms to look at him. "Because I wanted _you_ to know first."

Sam grabbed his jeans and fished his phone out of his pocket and called Frank. After relaying what Andy had told him, Sam listened as Frank told him that he would need Andy and Nick's statements and that Sam should be the one who got Andy's because she would be most at ease with him … it also saved him from trying to keep Sam out. Frank wanted her statement tomorrow but that was the _only_ reason they were to be at the station the next day because as of that conversation, Sam and Andy were off.

Sam ordered pizza and they relaxed for awhile before Sam told Andy about Frank's side of the phone call.

"No, Sam, I can't."

Yes, Andy, you can. All you gotta do is talk … to me."

"To you?"

"Frank figured it would be easier on both of us if I was the one …"

"When?"

"Any time tomorrow."

"Remind me to thank Frank tomorrow."

Sam smiled, getting up he reached for her hand. "Come on, today wasn't an easy shift and you gotta re-live it for me tomorrow, I need you to get as much sleep as you can."

Upstairs they crawled in bed and Sam thought she'd fall asleep once she felt his arms around her, but they laid there for he didn't know how long and she was still awake so he reached up and turned on the light.

"Y'know it _is_ ok for you to close your eyes. Nothin' or nobody's gonna touch you tonight, it's just you and me …" Sam kissed the top of her head and smiled as she allowed herself to relax and finally fall asleep.

Sam had shut the alarm off after his talk with Frank, a good thing because neither of them slept that well. Sam woke first and didn't even bother trying to get up without waking her, she needed the rest so he just laid there and watched her. He knew when she started to wake up. He leaned over and kissed her before getting out of bed.

"Where are you goin'?" she asked her voice husky with sleep.

"To start the coffee while you start the shower, I'll be back in a few minutes," and he pulled her out of bed. Andy wrapped her arms around Sam's waist and kissed him.

Their shower was anything but quick with Sam not wanting to rush her. Since he was off, Sam dressed in jeans and a T-shirt while Andy put on a pair of jeans and a tank top. They drank their coffee like they had nowhere to be. They held hands the entire drive to the station. Andy was fine until Sam pulled into the lot. Sam turned to face her. "Baby, nobody's gonna know. It's just gonna be you and me."

Frank looked up when he heard the knock. "Hey Sam, come on in. Where's Andy?"

"My office. Listen, Frank, she's on auto-pilot right now, I don't even think it's hit her yet but I promised her nobody would know she was the officer that was assaulted."

"And they won't, Sam. It's going on file as 'Officer X' and Interview 1 is being locked so nobody accidently walks in. Collins will be with me in 2 and will only refer to her as his partner. Once their statements have been transcribed the videos will be destroyed."

"By who?"

"Me."

"Who's transcribing Collins' statement?"

"He's asked to do it himself. I assume you want to transcribe hers."

Sam nodded.

"We need them typed today, Sam ... this goes to the prosecutor's office tomorrow. They've decided to pursue not just the assault charge but also whatever McNally and Collins woulda brought him in on. That may've just been a minor offense but because it resulted in the assault of a cop it's not so minor anymore. The guy's lookin' at jail time. His lawyer may try to get it reduced but the prosecutor has already told me they won't budge."

"What about Collins? His name goes on anything it'll be obvious who the officer is."

"Relax, man, it's covered. The prosecutor knows we can't use names or McNally's identity will be revealed … and _none_ of us want that." Frank got up. "Listen man, I'm gonna go lock the doors, whenever she's ready, 1 is yours …"

"Thanks Frank."

Nick was waiting when Frank walked in.

"Sir."

"Have a seat, Collins."

"Is she here?"

"She is. They're in Interview 1."

Frank took the chair opposite Nick. "Remember, no names."

"Yes, sir."

"Whenever you're ready …"


	47. Chapter 47

Nick took a deep breath and thought back to the events of the day before.

"It was near the end of our shift when my partner and I answered a complaint about someone who'd had more than a little too much to drink …"

In Interview 1, yeah, Sam was sitting across from Andy but there was no table between them, and he was holding her hand.

"Shift was almost over when my partner and I answered a complaint from the uh, Red Light District. We pulled up at the address dispatch gave us and found him. It wasn't hard to tell the guy'd been drinking or that he was drunk, he reeked of booze and was babbling incoherently."

"My partner was very professional …"

"I identified myself as Officer … I don't know if that was how they announced the girl at the club or what, but the next thing I know, this guy is making disgusting comments. My partner warned him about his mouth. Before my partner turned his attention back to what he'd been doing, the guy asked him what I was like in bed …"

"I told him to watch his mouth. He laughed and asked if I hadn't at least _wondered_ what she was like …"

Sam wasn't 100% sure how much more of this he could hear. It was one thing to hear it last night. It was another thing entirely to listen as she recounted it detail by detail. It was taking _all_ the self-control he had _not_ to go into holding and pound the shit out of him. Her next words made him growl.

"He asked my partner what I was like in bed. When my partner didn't take the bait, he asked if he hadn't at least wondered."

Andy squeezed Sam's hand. She had intentionally _not_ given him the play by play last night, knowing it would upset him but today there was no way around it.

"He grabbed my hand and tried to put it on his …" Andy trailed off not sure _how_ to say it.

"Where?" Sam gently prodded, even though he had a pretty good idea where the transcript needed her to _say_ it so it was in writing.

"His zipper. When I turned to call for my partner he came up behind me. Next thing I felt him thrust his hips at me. When I turned around …" she had to stop to gather her thoughts.

As difficult as it was for Sam to _hear_ the details he had to keep it together for Andy. He pulled her out of her chair and onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"When I turned around, that's when he grabbed the front of my uniform blouse in both hands and ripped it open ..."

"I heard my partner call for me and turned around just in time to see him rip her uniform blouse open. I reached for my taser, but before I could remove it …"

"Even with his actions a few moments before I wasn't really prepared or expecting to have him grab my shirt like that. Being a woman _isn't_ something I think about when I'm in uniform, but feminine instinct overrode being a cop in _that_ moment …"

Sam knew it was going to be uncomfortable hearing what happened next but he _had_ to have her say it.

"What happened? What did you do?"

"He still had my blouse in his hands, I could tell by the look in his eyes he wasn't satisfied, so before he could touch me more I positioned myself so one of my legs was between his and brought my knee up … hard. He dropped like a stone, thankfully he let go of me _before_ he fell."

"I ran to my partner and after making sure she was ok, threw him in the back of the car. I made her take her torn blouse off and we bagged it. I finished what I had been doing and we came back to the barn."

"We got back to the barn and I left my partner to deal with him while I went to see our staff sergeant about a new blouse."

"Did you tell him what happened?"

"No, I wanted my husband to hear it first. I waited until we got home to tell my husband and then he informed our staff sergeant."

"Did you tell anyone what happened?"

"No sir."

"Why not?"

"Because it wasn't for me to tell. It happened _to_ her and it's not exactly somethin' you shout from the rooftops. I have too much respect for her not to let her tell it when she was ready."

"Anything else you need the prosecutor to know?"

"That's it."

"Alright. Let's get your statement typed up so I can get it to the prosecutor."

Frank unlocked the other room allowing Nick to type up his statement in private.

"Anything else?

"No."

"You sure? You're not leavin' _anything_ out?"

"No, that was it … in detail."

"Ok. What're you gonna do while I …"

Andy shrugged.

Sam fished his keys out of his pocket. "Go see your dad."

"Why?"

"Because it _happened_ yesterday, you just went through it again so I could get it on tape, you are _not_ gonna hear the playback."

"But if I take the truck …"

"I'll text you when I'm done."

"But what do I tell my dad?"

"The truth - it's your day off."

"And when he asks about you?"

"Again, the truth - that I'm helping with a case. He knows you can't go into detail so he won't ask, baby."

When she didn't take the keys Sam cleared his throat and said, "Don't make me pull rank on you, McNally!"

Andy laughed as she took the keys. "Ok, ok. I'll go see my dad."

Sam smiled. "Thank you."

A few hours later Sam met Nick in the hall.

"How is she?"

"Don't think it's hit her yet."

"Tell her … Tell her I'm sorry."

Sam put his hand on the other man's shoulder. "I will, but you _can't_ blame yourself."

"Sam, _you_ trusted me to protect her …"

Sam opened the door to his office and motioned Nick inside, closing the door, he asked, "Did you _know_ he was going to do what he did?"

"Of course not!"

"Then you can't blame yourself because it wasn't your fault. We're lucky you were there because if it had happened when _I_ was with her … the white shirts would probably be after my badge right now."

Nick shook his head and laughed. "That's one way to put it."

"Ok, brother, I sent her to her dad's while I was transcribing her statement, I sent her a text before I ran into you telling her I was done. I was just headin' to Frank's office …"

"I'll give it to him, man, I gotta give him mine anyway."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Thanks, man."

"Least I can do, brother."

Sam handed over Andy's statement and the video.

Andy was leaning against the truck when he opened the door. She smiled when she saw him. Sam kissed her cheek and took the keys she held out to him.

"How was your visit?"

"Fine."

"Yeah, ok. What happened?"

"Nothin' _happened_. Just hate that you couldn't be there."

Sam reached over and took her hand. "Baby, it's not like either one of us is goin' anywhere."

"I know."

"We had pizza last night, what'd ya say to Chinese tonight?"

"Sure."

Sam glanced over at her. He couldn't help but wonder when the shock was going to wear off, because he knew when it did she was going to crash … hard.

Same as the night before, when it came time for bed Andy was less than eager. Sam merely pointed. "In." Andy crawled in but fought sleep.


	48. Chapter 48

Sam was caught off guard, waking up in the middle of the night to Andy pushing him away in her sleep. Considering how _she_ had brought the assault to its end, Sam figured the safest thing for him to do was get _out_ of bed _before_ he tried to wake her up.

As he watched her flinch and stiffen in her sleep, Sam cursed the 'man' that did this ... he used the term loosely, refusing to be painted with the same brush. It was true what he told Nick earlier, Nick couldn't blame himself, he'd been doing his job, taking statements, sure, in hindsight _Nick_ should have been the one dealing with him while Andy took the statements but hindsight was a bitch. And it didn't change the facts - Andy had been assaulted while in uniform.

As he watched her he waited for her to call out - she didn't make a sound. If she had acted the same way _during_ the assault there was _no_ way for Nick to know what was happening since the guy had done it when Nick's back had been turned which told Sam in all likelihood the guy was a repeat offender. He grabbed his cell and fired off a message to Frank telling him his suspicion. He couldn't be sure the other victims were cops but he would put money on there being others.

As soon as he hit "send" he turned his attention back to Andy. If he could be grateful for one thing it was that, yes, on paper it said she was the victim of a sexual assault, she hadn't been alone _and_ she had managed to put a stop to it before it escalated to something he wouldn't even allow himself to consider.

As much as he wanted to, Sam knew he couldn't touch her so he settled for feathering a kiss on the top of her head before getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Alright, McNally, time to wake up."

He knew she heard him when she stilled. But when she didn't open her eyes he knew she thought she thought she was hearing his voice in her dream.

"McNally! Come on, sleeping beauty, wake up."

Her voice surprised him when she said, "I need to get you a desk plate that says: Det. Prince Charming."

Sam couldn't help but laugh at her. "If you're callin' me Prince Charming that must mean you're awake, and _no_ you're not gettin' me _anything_ that says Prince Charming on it."

Andy turned her head to see Sam sitting on the edge of the bed. "Sam?"

He heard the question in her voice and asked, "What do you remember?"

Andy thought for a minute. "Nothin', why? What happened?"

"You were dreaming."

"That doesn't explain why you're not in bed."

Sam knew in that moment she didn't remember. "How much of the last couple of days do you remember?"

Looking down at her shirt - Sam's shirt from the academy - it hit her what Sam was asking. He knew by the look on her face when she not only remembered but realized what happened.

He knew exactly where she was going when she jumped out of bed. He got off the bed and went after her. He knocked on the bathroom door before opening it to find Andy on the floor, tears streaming down her face.

"Don't you _dare_ try and sell me you're fine, Andy." Sam said as he sat next to her.

She should've known he'd follow her, Andy thought as Sam entered the bathroom.

All she could do when he said, "Don't you _dare_ try and sell me you're fine, Andy," was shake her head.

Softly Sam asked the question he was almost afraid to, "When you gave me your statement earlier, was there _anything_ you left out?"

"Don't think so," was her quiet reply.

She wasn't surprised when Sam asked, "Do you even remember bein' at the station and _giving_ a statement?"

"Not really."

"What about seein' your dad, baby? Do remember goin' to his place?"

If he wanted to know what they talked about she couldn't tell him but, "Yeah, I remember you sendin' me to Dad's."

Sam chuckled at her words. "You _know_ why I didn't want you there."

Andy put her head on his shoulder, "Yeah."

Sam put his arm around her.

The only thing that surprised him about her next question was how long it took her to ask. "Nick?"

"Frank took his statement while you were giving yours."

"You didn't blame him, did you?"

"He was doin' a good enough job of that, himself, he didn't my help."

"Sam ..."

"Andy, _why_ would I blame _him_? It wasn't his fault. He's not responsible for the actions of those who break the laws we're sworn to uphold. Nor are _you_ responsible for his inability to respect you as a woman _or_ officer."  
Andy smiled. Somehow Sam _always_ knew the right thing to say when she second guessed a shift. He'd surprised even his friends with the way he'd treated "his" rookie.

Andy turned to look at Sam. "Are you ok?"

Sam looked at her.

"I know you, Swarek, this had to bring back memories of Sarah …"

Sam smiled and hugged her. "You're right, it does … but I'm not that 9 year old boy anymore. You were worried about me blaming Nick? I _thanked_ him for being there because if it had been me, we'd be a single badge family."

"Guess _I_ need to thank him next time I see him because I wouldn't be a cop without you, I don't want to _be_ a cop without you."

"Hey, _no_ white shirt is _ever _gonna split us up."

Andy put her arms around his waist as she said, "I'm gonna hold you to that."

As quick as it appeared Sam's smile _disappeared_ with her next words -

"What's gonna happen to us, Sam?"

"Nothin's gonna happen to us because nothin's changed."

"How can you say nothin's changed?!"

Sam leaned away from her and cupped Andy's face forcing her to look at _him_ when she would've stared at the floor. "Because nothin' has, at least not for me. I love you as much right here, right now, as I did when you walked out the door to start that shift."

There were tears in Andy's eyes. "But ..."

"But nothin' baby, I've been down this road before. I didn't stop loving my sister because she was attacked. I'm not about to change the way I feel about _you_."

Sam remembered how Sarah had asked him how he could still love her after everything that happened. He'd held her as she cried and promised to _always_ love her and be there for her no matter what.

Yeah, their assaults were different, but Sam knew he was in for the same roller coaster of emotions Sarah had gone through.

Standing up, he held his hand out to her. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

When Andy crawled in bed Sam had _every_ intention of pulling the covers over her and heading for the couch, not wanting to risk being the trigger for another dream, except she grabbed his hand and looked at him with eyes haunted by the ghosts of mistreatment and 'begged' him not to leave her.

So, he had crawled back in beside her. The second Sam was in bed Andy was there nudging under his arm to put her head on his chest.

Sam looked at her. "Are you sure?"

Andy nodded.

Sam kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her. "Close those beautiful brown eyes, McNally, and go to sleep, knowing I love you," he entwined their fingers, "and that mine are the only hands touching you ..."


	49. Chapter 49

During Parade the next morning Sam wasn't surprised when they heard Frank say, "McNally, Collins, you're helpin' Swarek today."

Nick nodded and Sam squeezed Andy's hand knowing what case they were helping with.

When he'd brought the guy in for processing all Nick had told them in booking was that they'd brought him in for assault. When asked about the details, all Nick had said was he didn't have any. He'd been surprised when they let it go at that.

Everyone cleared out of Parade except for Sam, Andy and Nick.

Andy turned to face Sam. "Babe?"

Sam rubbed his hands up her arms. "Frank gave me the heads up while you were gettin' changed, the prosecutor's office has labeled this top priority."

"Don't take this personally, babe, but that doesn't explain why Frank assigned us to work with you ..."

Nick laughed. "Because, partner, my brother here is the _only_ det. that knows about this case ..."

"And since the division can't put you _both_ on leave until after the conviction comes down without raising suspicion, as far as the division is concerned you're helping with a case."

"_Why_ would the division put us on leave? It's not like we're testifying ... are we?!"

"I don't know, but if you do the judge will be only one that hears it and the lawyers won't have your real names."

Andy looked at Nick. "I'm sorry for draggin' you into this. I appreciate you not telling Frank ... or Sam. I'm sorry you have to keep secrets from Gail ..."

"Don't worry about Gail, she knows I'm there for my brothers - and sisters - in uniform no matter what, no questions. As for tellin' Sam or Frank, that wasn't my call."

Speakin' of questions, I have one - who processed ... _it_?"

Both Sam and Nick laughed at Andy's choice of words. Just then Frank came in. "Sam, he needs to be questioned, but because of your personal involvement," he looked at Andy, " with the victim ... sorry Andy," Frank looked at Sam, "I can't have _you_ question him." Frank turned to Nick. "Collins, do you think _you_ could question the man who assaulted your partner _without_ trying to kill him like Swarek would?" He looked at Sam again, "Not that I blame you, man, I'd feel the same."

All three men looked at Andy in stunned disbelief as she said, "I'll do it."

A mixture of "Absolutely not," from Frank, "No way," from Nick and "Like hell," from Sam followed once they found their voices.

Andy directed her response at the one whose opinion mattered most - Sam. "It's _not_ like he's gonna remember me ..."

"No."

"Sam ..."

"Absolutely not. There is _no_ way I'm lettin' you in a room alone with him."

"Yeah, like you wouldn't be on the other side watching?"

"That has nothin' to do with it."

Andy took his hands. "Sam, it's my job ..."

"I wanna see where you read that you are required to question the man who assaulted you ... If they taught you that at the academy, the academy is fucked up."

"Has it occurred to _any_ of you that I might _need_ this?"

"She may have a point, Sam," Frank offered.

"_No_."

"Can you guys give us a few minutes?" Andy asked before taking Sam's hand leading him to his office.

Andy closed the door and sat on his desk. "_You_ trained me to do this job."

"Baby, it has _nothin'_ to do with your ability as a cop, I'm _not_ gonna give the bastard the chance to do it again or God forbid, take it a step further."

"You _really_ think he's dumb enough to try to assault a cop in a police station?"

"I'm not willing to put you at risk to find out."

"Then _who_ is gonna question him?"

"Collins can. Or Frank can do it himself, I don't care as long as it's _not_ you."

"If you're not gonna let me question him, you have to _at least_ let me observe it ..."

Sam sighed, this was 1 time he wished that lion's heart _wasn't_ so strong. "I'll consider it on 1 condition ..."

"Anything."

"We're outta there the second he says or does something that upsets you. No arguments."

Suddenly Andy _wasn't_ so sure. What _would_ she have done if Sam had been ok with her being the 1 to question him? _Could_ she have faked her way through it?

Sam stood silently watching her when something she'd said before they went into the Mermaid Lounge came back to him. They'd been alone in the Tahoe, he'd told her to get whatever she was feeling out, and she'd shocked him by saying she was constantly faking, he'd cursed Callaghan for making her doubt herself ... he took her by the shoulders. "You weren't _really_ gonna try and fake your way through that interview ... were you?"

Andy looked at the floor and whispered, "You remember?"

Sam sighed as he lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "Yeah, baby, I remember."

Andy dropped her head onto his chest.

"If I had to. You'd be there to back me up ..."

"Baby, you heard Frank, they won't let me in interview because then they'd have anything I did on camera. And were you _not_ the 1 to say he wasn't worth it?"

Andy nodded.

"That includes what bein' in that interview room would do to _you_ ..."

Andy put her hands at his waist and her head on his chest and took a breath. It was big enough Sam felt it through her entire body and softly said, "You _did_ your job yesterday when you gave me your statement. Let your riding partner deal with the rest."

He wasn't surprised by her response, "I _still_ wanna hear what he has to say ..."

Sam sighed, as much as he wanted to protect her, he also knew she wasn't Sarah and that if _anyone_ could handle it, she could ... being right there beside her made saying ok easier.

"Condition stands ..."

Andy smiled. "I know."

Andy was taken to the observation room before he was brought up to Interview 1, he was followed in by Nick.

Nick addressed him. "For the record, please state your name."

"Kyle David Matheson."

"Mr. Matheson, do you know why you're here?"

"I'm gonna take a guess and say because I had a couple drinks."

"Do you remember where you had those drinks?"

"At a strip joint."

"Do you remember which one?"

"Where did you pick me up? King or Yonge?"

From the sounds of _that_ he was a regular at more than 1.

"Do you remember if you interacted with any of the girls at the club, Mr. Matheson?"

In the observation room both Sam and Andy perked up curious to hear his response.

"I got a lap dance from a couple of the girls. Why?"

"Can you tell me if you were hands on during any of those dances?"

"I wish!"

In the observation room Sam had hands clenched into fists.

"Do you remember if any of the girls you interacted with wore a costume that looked like a police uniform?"

"Not on stage, no."

"Were any of them brunettes?"

Andy held her breath waiting for his response.

"Natural or from a bottle?"

"Mr. Matheson, please, answer the question."

"I had _other_ things on my mind besides the color of her hair, if you get my meaning …"

Sam was impressed as hell by the composure of the young officer. Andy reached for Sam's hand.

Nick _knew_ he was taking a big risk with Sam being in Observation but he also knew the line of questioning was necessary for the case.

Taking a breath, he silently pleaded for forgiveness before asking, "Mr. Matheson, the girls you saw at the club, how would you describe them? Were they pretty?"

"What's that old song? Don't the girls all get prettier at closing time ..."

Sam was out the door before Andy could stop him.

Nick wasn't surprised when the door opened, he was surprised however by who walked in.

When Sam got to the door Andy was right there with him."You are _not_ goin' in there."

"If I can't go in neither can you," Andy tried to get through to him.

Sam surprised her by taking her nametag off and putting it in his pocket before opening the door and motioning for her to precede him.

"Mr. Matheson, I'm Det. Swarek."

Matheson looked at Andy. "And who's this pretty lady?"

Andy felt Sam stiffen next to her.

Matheson studied Andy. "Have I seen you before?"

Andy stepped away from the door. Putting her hand in Sam's pocket, she pulled out her nametag. "My name, is _Officer McNally_."

Andy, Sam and Nick all watched as the realization of where he'd seen Andy before dawned on him.

"City not payin' you enough? You need to moonlight in the clubs?"

Sam growled.

"Tell me, _Officer_, were you 1 of the girls to give me a lap dance?"

Sam had held his temper in check until that moment. Grabbing his shirt, Sam growled, "You son of a ..." Nick pulled Sam off of him. Through an angry haze Sam watched Andy.

"A lap dance? No. But I _did_ give you something ..."

Matheson smiled and touched Andy. "Oh yeah? Why don't you refresh my memory ..."

Andy motioned for him to stand. Smiling, Andy positioned herself, leaned in and whispered, "I'm the 1 that gave you this ..." and she brought her knee up squarely between his legs. As he dropped like a stone Andy threw open the door and ran out.

Even the shields they wore as cops didn't stop both Sam and Nick from being affected by what they had just witnessed. Both men cleared their throats.

Sam addressed Nick. "We're _not_ done with him ..."

"No sir."

Sam grabbed him by the arm and picked him off the floor throwing him back in the chair.  
"That you were _outside_ shoulda been your _first_ clue. Next time, do yourself a favor and keep your hands and ... to yourself when you encounter a woman that introduces herself as an officer."

To Nick he merely said "Wrap it up," before going to find Andy.

He didn't have to go far to find her ... as he'd expected, she was back in the observation room.

"We don't _have_ to be here, y'know ..."

"If Nick asks _why_ ..."

Sam put his hands on her shoulders and turned her away from the window to face him.

"Even if Nick asks, there's no guarantee he'll answer and if he does we don't know for sure what he's sayin' is true ..."

The adrenaline rush she'd felt on the _other_ side of the glass crashed and suddenly _all_ she wanted was to curl up somewhere with Sam's arms around her.

She was startled by the knock on the door. Frank. "Everything ok?"

Sam nodded.

"McNally?" Frank waited for Andy to look at him. "You alright?"

Both Sam _and_ Frank knew the second she replied with, " Yes sir, I'm fine," that she was anything but. Frank simply looked at Sam and said, "Go."

Sam didn't hesitate. With his hand on her back he steered her out of observation and towards the locker room.

Dropping a quick kiss on her lips he told her to get changed.

He wasn't sure he knew what to say after what happened before they left the interview but he _did_ know someone that would. He didn't hesitate, he pulled out his phone and dialed.

Sarah was a little surprised when her caller I.D showed Sam in the middle of the day.

"Hey little brother," she answered with laughter in her voice.

"Hey Sis, I need a favor ..."


	50. Chapter 50

Sam disconnected the call as Andy emerged from the locker room, bag in hand. He reached for her bag before taking her hand.

He set their bags down by the door. Kicking off their shoes Sam was a little surprised when Andy grabbed his hand and headed for the stairs.

"Where we goin'?"

"Upstairs."

"Yeah, I _got_ that ... _why_?"

They had barely cleared the last step and Andy was pulling her top over her head. She didn't look at Sam as she answered him. "Shower."

Sam stopped her. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I just ..."

Sam remembered after Sarah's attack how she would try and wash it off. Peeling off his shirt he grabbed her hand. "Come on."

They were sitting on the bed after the shower, Sam brushing her hair before he mentioned anything.

"We got a couple days off, what d'ya say we go see your niece?"

Sami was _his_ niece but it always made Andy smile the way he referred to Sami as hers.

She didn't even think about it. "Give me 5 minutes to pack."

Half hour after they got out of the shower Sam was throwing their bags in the back of the truck. 2 hours later they pulled in at Sarah's.

Sam pulled out his phone.

"Hey ..."

"Don't! Where is she? I wanna surprise her ..."

Sarah laughed. "She's right here."

"Tell her to go look out the front door. See ya inside."

Sam got out of the truck and leaned against the front bumper. Andy had fallen asleep during the drive and was still crashed in the truck.

Sarah passed her brother's message on to her daughter and laughed as she squealed in delight and ran out to her uncle's open arms. "Uncle Sammy!"

Sam scooped her up. "Hey Princess."

"Where's Aunt Andy?"

"Asleep in the truck, Princess. I'll carry her inside in a minute. I just wanted to surprise you first."

Sami smiled. " You diiiiid!

Sam laughed as he carried Sami to the door where his sister stood. Shifting Sami to his left side he wrapped his right arm around his sister in greeting.

Sarah hugged her brother and ordered her daughter to get down so Sam could get Andy.

Sarah followed him back out to the truck and while he was getting Andy, she grabbed their bags.

Sam carried Andy to their room. Sarah busied Sami with a DVD so she could talk to her brother without interruption. Fixing them both a coffee, Sarah didn't waste any time knowing Andy could wake up at any moment. "What's goin' on, little brother?"

Sam couldn't meet Sarah's eyes as he whispered, "She was assaulted on the job …"

Sarah gasped. "Sammy! When?"

"Day before yesterday. Thankfully they're _not_ the same, but I thought if anyone would know how she's feelin' ..."

Sarah smiled sadly. "I'll talk to her."

"Thank you."

Sarah squeezed Sam's hand. "Of course. You know _we'll_ talk before you leave right?"

Sam smiled at his sister. "I know. I better go, I don't want her waking up alone ..."

Sarah laughed softly. "Always the protector, eh Sammy?"

She was still out like a light when Sam walked in so he laid down beside her.

Sam wasn't surprised when her head found its way onto his chest. He knew the moment sleep began to lose its hold on her so he wasn't surprised when he heard, "How long have I been out?"

Sam laughed. "Including or excluding the time in the truck?"

Andy looked around. "Sarah's?"

Sam kissed the top of her head. "Yeah."

"Do they know?"

"Sarah knew somethin' was up ..."

"Sami?"

"Was watchin' a DVD in the living room ..."

"I don't want her to know ..."

"She doesn't have to. I'll keep her busy while you and Sarah talk ..."

There was a small knock on the door before Sarah stuck her head in. "Oops! Sorry Sammy, didn't mean to wake her."

Sam laughed as Andy leaned away from him so he could get up and pull her off the bed. "It's ok, Sis, actually, your timing's perfect we were just talkin' about you ..."

"I'm ready whenever she is, but since I think you're stayin' for a couple of days it doesn't _have_ to be today. You guys can enjoy the rest of the day/night and we can talk tomorrow, or whenever ..."

For the first time, Andy spoke, so softly Sarah barely heard her as she said, "Thank you."

Sam put his arm around her. "She doesn't want Sami ..."

"Absolutely. As far as she's concerned you got a long weekend and came to visit."

Just then Sami peeked in the door. Andy knelt down and the little girl flew into the room, into Andy's arms. "Aunt Andy!"

Andy scooped her up. "Hi sweetie."

"You came to visit!"

Andy winked at Sam and Sarah as she said, "You ok with that?"

"YAY!"

Sam reached out. "Come here, Princess."

Sami looked between her aunt and uncle before allowing Sam to take her.

"Aunt Andy ok?" She asked once in Sam's arms.

"She fine, Princess, just tired from the trip after work."

"Ohhhhh, ok," she looked at Andy, "Sorry."

"It's ok, sweetie."

"What d'ya say, Princess? Aunt Andy's gonna start lookin' for a coffee, wanna help me get it for her?"

Sami looked first at Sarah then at Andy who nodded.

"Let's go, Uncle Sammy!"

Sam laughed as he kissed Sami on the cheek before setting her on her feet. Sami ran to the door and looked back impatiently.

Sam laughed. "Right behind you, Princess."

He waited until she was gone before he leaned in and kissed Andy's cheek and whispered, "If you wanna get it over with, I'll keep her downstairs ..."

Andy kissed Sam's cheek and whispered, "Thank you. We'll be down later."

With Sami's "help" Sam fixed the girls coffees and carried them upstairs.

When Sam offered to take Sami out so the girls weren't in their room Andy refused, wanting Sam to be close by. Sam kissed the top of her head. "Ok."

Sarah looked at Andy. "Sammy's right. This is the _last_ place we should talk about this. You want to stay close to him, so why don't we move this downstairs? I'll set Sami up so she'll be in her own little world for awhile."

Andy looked at Sam who smiled and nodded.

"Ok."

Sam took the girls cups so they could get off the bed. Sarah took her cup and said, "Let me go get her settled so she doesn't bother us ... or drive Uncle Sammy crazy," she laughed. "Come down when you're ready."

"Thanks Sis. I tell ya what. If it'll make you," he looked at Andy, "more comfortable, why don't I cook tonight, Sis? That way you 2 can talk and I'll be close by ..."

"Or, we could get pizza ... that way you can be right beside her, exactly where she's gonna _need_ you to be ..."

When it came to this, Sam took his cues from the person who _knew_ ... and if Sarah said Andy was gonna need him, he was gonna be right there beside her.

Downstairs, Sarah got Sami settled. "Ok little miss, I know you're excited to have Uncle Sammy and Aunt Andy here and I _know_ you want your Sami time but before you get time with Uncle Sammy _or_ Aunt Andy, Mommy needs to have a grown up talk with them, so if _you_ want _any_ time, stay put, understand?"

"Yes, Mommy."

Somehow that was too easy. "Samantha, I mean it ... kitchen is _off_ limits until Mommy comes to get you."

Sami nodded.

Sam and Andy were at the island, coffee in hand, when Sarah walked in. Sarah squeezed her brother's hand as she sat down across from them.

Sam wrapped his arm around Andy's waist and she had her hand resting on his thigh.

"Ok, Sammy, how much d'you know?"

"I took her statement, Sis."

"Oh my God, Sammy!"

Sam laughed at his sister's reaction. "It wasn't about me, Sis, it was what _she_ needed ..."

Andy squeezed his thigh. "He was the first, he was the _only_ 1 I told ..."

"What about Frank? Please tell me he was told."

"I called him after she told me."

Sarah smiled softly. "Good. I'm gonna assume he was arrested?"


	51. Chapter 51

"He's coolin' his ass in a holding cell as we speak, has been since it happened. Frank spoke to the Prosecutor's Office immediately after we got off the phone the night it happened and by the time we went in for her statement, they had labeled the case top priority."

Sarah sat there nodding as Sam spoke.

"Don't kill me little brother but Andy, I need to know if you can tell me what happened."

Sam growled slightly.

"I know, Sammy, that's why I said she was gonna need you."

Sam looked at Andy.

Andy smiled as she squeezed his thigh and nodded. "It's why you _brought_ me here, isn't it?"

Sam smiled sheepishly. He'd sincerely hoped his motive for the trip wasn't _that_ obvious.

Andy leaned over, kissed his cheek and whispered, "I can do this."

Sam rubbed the lion's heart charm. As strong as it beat he didn't doubt she could, he just wasn't 100% sure he could hear it again.

Sarah could see the inner battle Sam was having and touched his hand as she spoke. "I'm not gonna act like this isn't hard for you, little brother, because I know it is. Just because you lived it once doesn't mean it's easier ... besides, I'm your sister, not your wife ... that alone makes this a whole new ball game. If you _can't_ be here ..."

Sam squeezed his sister's hand. "You're right, it's _not_ easy, but there's _no_ way I'll let her do this alone."

Sarah smiled at her brother before turning to Andy. "Don't rush it, don't force it, take as long as you need to ..."

It was one thing to _say_ she could do it, another to actually _do_ it and the breath Andy took before she began told Sam she was about to try and fake her way through it ... and he wasn't gonna let her do that.

Dropping his arm from her waist, Sam looked at Sarah who nodded.

Sam swiveled his seat and pulled Andy around to face him. He cupped her face in his hands. "Forget she's here, it's just you and me ..."

"Ok," was her softly spoken acknowledgement.

Sam dropped his hands to her thighs and waited for her to begin ...

Andy squeezed Sam's thigh and began to recount in detail the events of that shift ...

"We got back to the barn and while Nick was with him in booking seeing he got processed, I was in Frank's office requesting a new shirt before going to Sam's office. I couldn't tell him at the station, I _wouldn't_ tell him so close to the .. thing ... that did it, so I offered to take a cab home if he wanted to go to the Penny. Sam being Sam, a cab was outta the question ... he hasn't really trusted cab drivers since Gail was taken ... We got home, had a shower and after he brushed my hair, I gave him the watered down version. I didn't give him the entire play by play until the next day in an interview room where it was required for the prosecution's office to have it in detail. I don't _remember_ giving my statement yesterday, I don't _really_ remember _anything_ ... until I woke from a nightmare _last_ night to your brother sitting on the edge of bed instead of being beside me. Then today, I had the _pleasure_ of observing as Nick questioned him since Sam wasn't allowed because of our relationship ... surprise, surprise, he heard somethin' he didn't like, next thing I know I'm standing in a room with the guy who was too wasted to keep his hands to himself, only he's just as revolting sober as he was drunk. I was _supposed_ to be Officer X ... except the asshole asked if I gave him a lap dance so I introduced myself and instead of telling him what I gave him, I showed him. Now Frank has video of me giving him a knee to the groin."

Sarah was shocked. "You didn't?!"

Sarah looked at Sam. "Where were you? Where was Nick?"

"Nick had just pulled me off him, we were both standing right there."

Sarah couldn't help it, she burst out laughing. "Sorry, I know that musta been uncomfortable."

Sam smiled. "You could say that. But I'll tell ya, Sis, I was _very_ proud of her."

"What happened then?"

"I ran out ... and here we are."

Sarah smiled at Andy's natural progression from being at the station to her kitchen. "Anything else?"

Sam and Andy shared a look.

"Nope. That's it." Andy gave a tearful laugh. "That's enough."

If he thought it was hard to sit in that interview room at the station he was pretty sure his sister's kitchen had become hell as he sat there and listened. She'd been in shock, so there was no emotion as she'd given her statement ... the same couldn't be said today.

Her voice began to crack as soon as she started talking, she cleared her throat a few times. He wasn't surprised when the tears filled her eyes or when they began to fall. It wasn't enough to feel his hands on her thigh, as soon as she allowed herself to go _there_ she reached for his hand. The harder it was to talk, the tighter her grip became. When the first tear fell, he gave a gentle tug on her hand and she slipped off _her_ stool and into his lap.

The moment she felt his arms around her the flood gates opened and all the hurt, fear and embarrassment Andy felt made it difficult to look at Sam.

Sam thought maybe Sarah would've tried to calm or reassure her but she never said a word, allowing Andy to do exactly as Sam had said - forget that she was there.

Sarah smiled as she watched Sam rub Andy's back in comfort and had to swallow the lump of emotion in _her_ throat as he told Andy the same things he'd told her all those years ago.

There were tears in Sam's eyes as he listened yet again to a story he wished he'd never heard _once_ never mind twice in graphic detail.

Sarah sat silent until Andy raised her head from Sam's chest and looked at her. Sarah _knew_ why Andy looked at her instead of Sam as she recounted what she did before walking out of the interview room.

Sarah reached for Andy's hand. "I know that wasn't easy," she extended her other hand, "Sammy, gimme your hand," Sam allowed her to take his left hand, "for either of you."

Andy dropped her head back onto Sam's shoulder and he kissed her temple.

"Sammy, I don't have to tell you that it _doesn't_ get easier the more you hear it, in truth, it's the opposite. The more you hear it, the more holes it'll rip in your heart because of what it does to her. Andy, it may not feel like it right now, but you _know_ you were lucky ..."

Andy nodded.

"But that _doesn't_ mean what _did_ happen isn't a big deal. I know some people would say what happened to you doesn't even qualify as an assault,"

Sam growled.

Sarah squeezed the hand she still held. "I know, Sammy."

She turned her attention back to Andy. "But it was. Don't let _anyone_ tell you otherwise. They both leave their mark on us. But if there's 1 thing this guy right here," she smiled at Sam, "has helped me accept, it's that it _doesn't_ define who we are unless we let it ..."

Sam smiled at his sister as he squeezed Andy's waist. She looked at him and laughed softly as she nodded.

He had told Andy that different times over the years. "Did you tell her to say that?"

Sam laughed. "No, McNally, I didn't."

"As a cop you've probably heard this before, but it's true ... I thought it was my fault."

Sam growled again.

"I know, Sammy, but whether you like it or not, that's how I felt."

Sam raised his eyebrows at his sister.

"Don't look at me like that, Sammy, I said _felt_, I don't feel that way anymore."

It was automatic, the concern he felt every time Sarah spoke of thinking the attack had been her fault.

Her next words confirmed the fear he'd refused to give voice to. "As much as you're not gonna want to hear this Sammy," she looked at Andy, "You're gonna blame yourself, if you haven't already,"

Sarah wasn't surprised when Sam growled ... again ... and squeezed his hand before continuing, "but it _wasn't_ your fault. I don't know about you, but after I was attacked, I wondered how Sammy could still love me ... I doubted _anyone_ would _ever_ look at me romantically because I was "damaged" ... Sammy, don't,"

too late, Sam was already growling.

"Are you finished?" Sarah asked.

"Depends, are _you_ finished?"

Sarah rolled her eyes before she said, "It's how I felt, Sammy, whether you like it or not."

Sam huffed out, "_Not_," under his breath.

Sarah shook her head as she focused on Andy again.

"He's been here before, he _knows_ what he's in for, _don't_ push him away, let him be there for you. Because no matter how much he growls, there's _nowhere_ else he'd rather be than right here with you."

Andy looked at Sam with tears in her eyes and asked, "Was that what you _wanted_ her to tell me?"

Sam gave a soft laugh as he kissed her temple. "I had _no_ idea what she was gonna say, baby ... besides, this isn't about what _I wanted_, despite the growls, my sister knew what you _needed_ to hear and _that_ is all that matters."

Andy leaned away from Sam and turned so she could lean in and kiss him. Before she touched her lips to his she whispered, "Thank you."

As his lips met hers, Sam whispered, "The only thing my sister _didn't_ tell you was that I adore you and would do _anything_ for you."

Sarah slipped out of the kitchen and went to get Sami. As emotionally charged as that conversation was, Sam was going to need Sami to decompress and take his mind off of it for a while.

"Hey little miss," Sarah said as she came into the room.

"Our grown up talk's all finished ... and I think Uncle Sammy could use one of your hugs, what d'ya say you go give him one?"

"Is Uncle Sammy ok, Mommy?"

"Uncle Sammy's fine, he just needs a hug from his Princess."

Sami got up. "Ok ... where's Uncle Sammy, Mommy?"

"Kitchen, come on," and Sarah took her daughter's hand.

Sarah cleared her throat as they walked into the kitchen. Sam and Andy looked up to see Sami with Sarah. Sam smiled, his sister knew him so well. He kissed Andy's temple as he stood and put her on his stool before bending down with arms open.

The moment he bent down his arms were filled. Standing up, he looked at his sister over his niece's head and mouthed, "Thank you," before hugging her tight and kissing her cheek.

"How did you know I needed my Princess?"

Sami giggled. Sam tickled her making her giggle more.

"What d'ya say, Princess? Think you can put up with me for awhile?"

Sami lit up at the thought of spending time 1 on 1 with the uncle she worshipped.

Sam leaned over and kissed Andy's cheek and whispered, "Stay, talk. The hard part's over, now .." Sam smiled softly, "she can tell about the things I don't _want_ to know about my sister!"

Andy laughed as she kissed him. "Ok ... thank you ... I love you."

"I love you."

Then to Sami, he said, "Let's go, Princess."

Sami kissed Andy's cheek and said, "Bye Aunt Andy, bye Mommy," before Sam carried her out.

Once they were out of earshot, Sarah started the questions she _wouldn't_ ask in front of Sam. "Can you still feel him?"


	52. Chapter 52

"Not until the shock wore off. I guess it wore off in the middle of the night and that was why Sam was on the edge of the bed. I didn't understand when I first woke up, I thought I did something wrong, that he was mad at me ... then reality hit and I knew when he told me that I'd been struggling in my sleep what he'd been afraid of."

"He's no stranger to dealing with nightmares. He knows whatever happens, you don't mean to hurt _him_ ..."

"When he touched me today, yeah, it was just like the day it happened - through my uniform - but _knowing_ it wasn't _just_ the actions of a drunk ... that this _thing_ could do that ... or worse ... to a woman stone cold sober, made me sick. As soon as we got home ..."

"You hit the shower." It wasn't a question but fact spoken through experience.

"Have you let Sam touch you?" When Andy didn't respond, Sarah clarified, "I don't mean the way he'd comfort me or Sami ... have you let him _touch_ you as your lover ..."

Sam chose that moment to come back in, minus Sami, to get them drinks. "It's a little soon for that, don'tcha think, Sis?"

Sarah looked at him. "Actually, no, I don't. She _wasn't_ raped, there's no reason you can't remind her that you love her through physical contact ... just not in front of Sami, please!"

Both Sam and Andy laughed at Sarah's request before Sam grabbed the drinks he came for and left the girls to continue their talk.

"Remember earlier, you said you didn't think he would still love you ..."

"Yeah. I spent many moments in my little brother's arms with him reassuring me that he would always love me, no matter what."

"Remember you said you didn't think anyone would _want_ you ..."

"Andy ... I know it sounds like I'm tryin' to placate you, but I'm not ... you won't _ever_ have to worry about Sam not wanting you. He absolutely _adores_ you ..."

"It's one thing to love me, another to want me ..."

"Insecurities are a bitch and they don't keep you warm at night. The best thing you can do for you is to trust yourself and trust my brother ... in case you missed it, he said he was proud of how you handled yourself."

Sarah smiled. "I'm gonna call in the order for delivery, why don't you forget about it for awhile and enjoy spending time with a little girl that adores you ..."

Andy smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm just glad you felt you could trust me. Just because my brother does, doesn't mean you _had_ to ..."

All Andy could do was nod as she walked out in search of Sam because emotion was choking her.

Andy found Sam and Sami cuddled up reading a book. Sami was on his lap with her head back against his chest. Sam felt her at the door and smiled. He didn't look up from the book but whispered to Sami who turned to find Andy leaning inside the door. Andy waved when Sami looked, waiting for an invitation to come in, not wanting to intrude or interrupt the time they got together. The invitation came in the form of Sami holding out her hand.

Andy sat down next to Sam and it didn't take Sami long to find her way into her lap. Part way through the story Andy had a lap full of a sleeping child. Sam got up and carried her into the living room.

Checking with Sarah, they had plenty of time for Andy to lay down and just let the stress of the day fall away. Sam had no plans of doing anything more than walking Andy to their bedroom, until they got to the door and she took his hand taking him inside with her. Andy stopped at the bed.

"I haven't closed my eyes without your arms around me since _he_ touched me ..."

Sam touched his forehead to hers. "Lay down."

Andy laid down and moved over far enough to allow Sam to lay down beside her. The moment he was stretched out on the bed Andy was reaching to wrap his arms around her. Once her head was pillowed on his chest he kissed it and whispered, "Sleep, and know mine are the _only_ hands that'll touch you ..."  
Her even breathing a few minutes later told him she was asleep.

A soft knock came at the door before Sarah popped her head in. "Supper's here if you want to eat ..."  
"Yeah, I think I'll wake her, we'll eat then call it early. I want her getting as much sleep as she can ..."

Sarah smiled. Sam had done the same thing years ago.

"Ok, want me to wake her?"

Sam smiled. "No, as soon as I move she'll be awake. Thanks, though."

Sarah watched as her brother got up and within seconds Andy shaking the sleep out of her eyes.

Sam grabbed her hand and pulled her off the bed.

They held hands the entire time they ate. After supper they offered to clean up but Sarah sent them to bed, using work as an excuse for them needing the extra sleep.

Sam locked their door and helped Andy get undressed before stripping down himself. Andy was already in bed, waiting for her 'pillow' when Sam crawled in. She was asleep within moments of the assurance that Sam was the only one who would touch her.

The next morning they woke up to a knock on the door. Since Andy was wearing more than Sam she got up to answer it. She opened the door and smiled. Sami was standing there with a tray, on it, 2 cups of coffee.

"Mommy said breakfast is ready when Uncle Sammy's had his coffee ..."

Andy laughed as she took the cups, thanked Sami and promised to be down after their showers ... of course they showered together but their niece didn't need to know _that_!

After breakfast, Andy offered to have story time with Sami so Sam and Sarah could talk.

Coffee in hand, the Swarek siblings headed for "their" spot.

Before she was attacked, any time she felt the walls closing in, Sam could find Sarah sitting in a stairwell of the crummy apartment they'd lived in as kids, after the attack, she took to sitting on the front steps. That was where Sam had found her 1 night in tears. He leaned against the support beam and listened to her babble about nothing as she talked to keep the bad thoughts away. It was there and then that _she'd_ told him about what happened. Since that night, when they needed to talk, they headed outside with Sarah sitting on either a rail or steps while Sam leaned against a beam.

They'd shared too many moments like this for the subject to be awkward.

"It broke my heart to hear how someone could do something like that to _her_ ... then I took her statement and I heard every detail ... and even though I _know_ it's not my fault I couldn't help but feel guilty for not being there to protect her, just like I wasn't there to protect you."

"Sammy, don't do that, don't go there, it's no more your fault than it is hers. If she thinks you blame yourself she'll blame herself because you feel that way, it's a vicious cycle, don't let it start."

Sam shook his head.

"As for what happened with me, that was a _long_ time ago,"

"I know ..."

"Then let it go, it's a memory ..."

Sam smiled at how far his sister had come."You know I love you, right?"

Sarah returned her brother's smile. "Sammy, that's the 1 thing in my life I've _always_ trusted. You've been there, you've stood by me for the best and worst moments of my life ..."

Sam hugged her.

"I know Sami will be, but would you be pissed if we went home today? Everybody thinks we're here so it would be nice to have a couple days to ourselves at home ..."

"Go. You need to be alone more than you need to be Uncle Sammy or Aunt Andy right now ..."

As much as Sami didn't want them to go, they were packed up and on the road within the hour.

Traffic was fairly light so Sam was pulling the truck into the driveway less than 2 hours later.

It took longer than Sam had expected for Andy to fall asleep but she was out cold by the time he reached the St. Cat's city limits.

Sam unloaded their bags before opening Andy's door. He carried her into the house and laid her on the couch. He carried their bags upstairs and unpacked, putting a load of laundry in. He called and arranged to have her uniform picked up by the cleaners. He knew she still didn't have much of an appetite but she needed to eat, so he called in an advance order for supper before going back to check on Andy.


	53. Chapter 53

He knew as soon as he walked in the living room something was wrong. Wild brown eyes stared back at him when he got over to the couch. She sat up enough that Sam could sit down. The moment he put his arms around her she burst into tears.

"Shhhhh, it's ok," Sam rubbed her back.

"I woke up and ... you ... you weren't here."

"I'm right here. I just took our bags upstairs."

Sam stretched her out so her head was in his lap. He ran his hand up and down her back.

He thought she'd fallen back asleep so her tear filled, "Don't leave me," startled him. Sam pulled her up so she was sitting in his lap. Taking her face in both his hands, Sam wiped the tears away, her words bringing back memories of her nightmares after the grenade.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told you after 1 of your nightmares last year, I'm _not_ leavin' you, McNally, not now, not ever."

Andy dropped her forehead onto Sam's chest as she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Sam rested his chin on top of her head and rubbed his hands up her arms. "Don't be."

Andy looked up at Sam. "So much for that lion's heart."

Sam smiled as he kissed her. "McNally, it'll take more than this to kill that lion's heart of yours."

Andy gave a soft smile.

A knock at the door startled Andy. "Shhhhh, it's just the cleaners picking up your uniform."

Sam got up and answered the door. He returned to the living room a few minutes later.

"What you must think ..."

"What I think," Sam said as he pulled her back onto his lap, "is that I love you ... you're gonna question a lot of things, but don't question, don't doubt _that_."

There were tears in Andy's eyes as she kissed Sam and said, "Thank you ... for loving me ... for sitting there and listening as I relived every detail, more than once ... for giving me someone who's been on this roller coaster and who understands ..." she had to stop and swallow the emotion before she could continue. "I know I've put you through _a lot_ this year ... Jerry, watching me hold a grenade, sitting by my bedside after I got shot, now this ..."

Sam stopped her with a kiss. "_None_ of that was your fault and I told you once, I'll tell again, there's _nowhere_ else I wanna be ... we're on this roller coaster together."

Sam never failed to amaze her, Andy thought as he got up to answer the door for the delivery guy. He had been _the_ constant in her life since her rookie days. She couldn't imagine her life without him, didn't _want_ to.

She'd done a lot of thinking since she'd woke up, since she freaked out because he wasn't _right_ _there_ when she opened her eyes. Both Sarah _and_ Sam had told her Sam had loved Sarah through it, problem was, Andy didn't think that was fair, because this time, this time, it affected Sam as much as Andy. She knew he'd talked to Sarah, but Andy needed him to talk to _her_ ...

Sam kissed her temple as he sat behind her. "Where'd you go, McNally? You been somewhere other than my arms since you woke up ..."

"Just thinkin'," Andy said as she kissed his cheek.

Sam gasped. "You? Thinkin'? Imagine that," he laughed as he kissed her. "_What_ were you thinkin' _about_, baby?"

Andy looked away and Sam's breath caught. "Baby, talk to me ..."

Andy turned back to look at Sam. "I think my thank you earlier covered a lot ..."

"Andy ..."

"You had _every_ reason to hate me, yet I survived _the_ worst shift of my career _because_ of you ... and I didn't think anything could top getting shot or having to shoot someone else. You were the reason I tried so hard. At first I needed to prove I wasn't the screw up you thought I was ... then, I needed to make you proud ..."

Sam brushed her hair back before he kissed her and whispered, "You did ... you still _do_. My God, woman, I don't know many women - Noelle and Peck excluded - who could, who _would_ have the presence of mind to take control of their assault and end it. My sister said if I felt guilty you'd blame yourself, but I'm pretty sure you _already_ blame yourself ..."

"_Why_ would _you_ feel guilty?"

"Because I wasn't there to protect you ... I keep thinkin' maybe if it had been me instead of Collins ..."

"Sam, no. I'm _not_ gonna let you do that ... I told you once I got my strength from you, it was true then, it's _still_ true. Remember I said being a woman overrode being a cop in that moment?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna know what I was thinkin' in that moment?"

"What baby?"

"That I _had_ to get home … to you."

Sam smiled. "Believe me, baby, I'm glad you did, you _do_."

"Remember that question you walked in on?"

"I'm not likely to ever forget it, McNally."

Andy laughed softly before she kissed him. "Who woulda thought _you'd_ be embarrassed about our sex life."

"My sister doesn't need to know mine anymore than I need to know hers, thank you."

Andy laughed again.

"It probably doesn't make sense, but Sarah validated my fear then assured me I didn't _have_ to be afraid ..."

"Of what, baby?"

"You looking at me different, you never wanting me that way again ..."

"I will _always_ want you ..."

"I know that in here," she placed Sam's hand over her heart, "but here," she knocked on her head, "is afraid to believe that right now."

Sam mumbled something about a "hard headed woman" before he kissed her. He broke the kiss off sooner than Andy wanted but _if_ they went all the way, their first time since her assault would _not_ be on the couch!

"Don't look at me like that ..."

"Like what?"

"Like you're afraid that's _all_ I wanna do."

Under _any_ other circumstances never mind 50 shades of grey, Andy would've been 50 shades of red with embarrassment, but she _needed_ to know ..."_Is_ it?"

Any other time he would've teased her, but it was too soon, too raw, so he motioned for her to get up. Standing, he took her hand and led her upstairs.

In their bedroom, he stopped next to the bed and turned her to face him. Cupping her face he asked, "Are you ok?"

Was she? She wanted him as much as ever, but was she _really_ ready for this? She bit her lip.

"Andy?"

Looking into Sam's eyes, Andy saw the concern he felt overriding anything else he felt.

Reaching up, Andy took _his_ face in her hands. "Are you? This isn't _just_ about me ..."

She stopped him before he could brush off her concern when she whispered, "Talk to me, Sam, I can't do this without you ..."

Sam wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him. Andy put her head on his shoulder as she put her arms around him. Sam kissed her temple. How did he tell her _he_ was just as scared as she was? It would kill him if _he_ did anything to hurt her.

Something was wrong, Andy could physically _feel_ it. "It won't go away, y'know."

Sam pulled her away enough that he could look at her.

"Whatever it is that you're not tellin' me, it won't go away just because you don't."

Sam shook his head as he laughed. "Ok, ok."

Sam sat on the bed and pulled her onto his lap. "For the record, my sister would have my ass if she knew we were havin' this conversation."

Andy giggled as she put her head on his shoulder and waited for him to talk ...

"Remember I told you that I'd worried about my sister so long it was part of who I was?"

Andy nodded into his shoulder.

"I _never_ thought I could or _would_ love someone that I would feel that same depth of fear and worry over ... then you came into my life. I knew when you hooked up with our buddy GQ that even if we were never more than friends I would worry about you for the rest of my life. But this is the first time I've ever been afraid that _I_ would be the one to hurt you ..."

Andy lifted her head and looked at Sam, there were tears in his eyes.

"It's ok for my sister to tell you to let me touch you, but if you're not ready for that ..." Sam swallowed emotion that threatened to choke him it was so strong.

"Yeah, I know I hurt you that night at the Penny, but this, this is different ... and if I hurt you now, how do I forgive myself for that? How do _you_ forgive me?"

Andy stood up to face Sam, her voice was raw as she fought back tears as she took his hand and said, "You're afraid _to_ touch me, and I'm afraid you never will. That the _only_ touch that I'll remember," she paused to swallow, "is _his_. That the only touch I'll _feel_ is his."

She gave a self deprecating laugh. "If it's this bad just through my clothes, I don't think I'd survive if he actually touched my skin."

Sam stood up. "Yeah, you would, because next to my sister, _you_ are _the_ strongest person I know. You can forget, you _will_ forget he touched you. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but you _will_ forget, he won't even be a memory ..."


	54. Chapter 54

As he spoke, Sam had taken her hands in his and placed them on his arms as he wrapped them around her and pulling her against him. He whispered, "Whatever you want," against her lips before gently kissing her.

Andy just stood there for a few minutes enjoying the feeling of being the 1 place she feared she'd never be again. Yeah, he'd held her since it happened, but not like this. It was almost as if Sam needed permission to feel the things he felt and now that it was ok for him to feel those other things he could allow himself to feel what he _wanted_ to.

Andy surprised him when she ended the kiss, well, put it on pause as she whispered, "I _need_ you to touch me ..."

He couldn't help the smile when he heard her say, "Don't. Don't over think it, Sam. It's just me ..."  
Sam laughed as he kissed her. _Just_ her. That was like saying Kilimanjaro was just a _hill_.

Brushing his nose against hers he whispered, "I love you."

If he asked her, she couldn't've told him why, but hearing Sam say 'I love you' brought tears to her eyes. It was as if she was hearing it for the first time ... minus the need for someone from the bomb squad.

Sam saw the tears and remembered how Sarah had cried every time he said he loved her after her attack. He feathered kisses over her face as he whispered, "I love you," again.

Her voice was filled with tears as she whispered, "I love you."

She was wearing one of her sleeveless tank tops. Sam put his hands on her shoulders and ran them down her bare arms, reaching around behind his back.

Since turnabout was fair play, when his hands reached hers, Andy linked her fingers through his and brought his arms so they were around her waist as she ran her hands up his arms making Sam laugh.

Andy kissed him softly as she whispered, "_You_ gave yourself permission to feel the emotions but you don't need _permission_ to touch me, at least not from _me_ ..."

He'd told Boyd before the Mermaid op that 6 months together they knew each other add another 3 plus _years_, Sam doubted anyone knew each other like they did and that _included_ decade long partners so he wasn't surprised she knew what he _needed_ to hear.

He let her guide his hands to the buttons on her top. He never took his eyes off her face as he undid one then two ... until there was only the bottom button left.

Andy smiled as he finished undoing her top and slid it off her shoulders. When it cleared them he took her hands in his and allowed her to strip him of his T-shirt. Next came their jeans ... piece by piece, first Andy's then Sam's until there was nothing left.

As the last of their clothing was discarded Andy understood why Sam was afraid of it being too much, too soon because he hadn't simply undressed her. With _every_ piece of clothing was a touch, they started out hesitant with the buttons on her shirt but by the last it was the soft caress she was used to, maybe even softer.

By the time _all_ their clothes had been discarded, laying in piles on the floor he had touched every inch of Andy's body. And with _every_ touch he spoke, making sure it was _his_ voice she heard, she felt ... and he made sure she _felt_ it as he whispered against her temple, her neck ...

As they got in bed it wasn't about sex, more like an affirmation ... of love, of trust.

As she laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her the last thing Andy remembered hearing wasn't his promise of the last few days that his were the only hands to touch her, although his hands weren't the _only_ thing that had touched her as he made love to her, it was the 'I love you' he whispered into hair.

Andy woke the next morning to Sam wrapped around her. He had kept a careful distance since her nightmare, afraid he could trigger another one. That he was wrapped around her brought back memories of the night before.

Sam woke up to a smiling brunette in his arms.

"What're you smilin' about already?" he asked as he kissed her.

"It wasn't a dream."

"What, baby?"

"Last night."

Sam laughed as he kissed her temple. "No, baby, it wasn't a dream ... although you _are_ every dream I ever had, come true ..."

He wasn't surprised by the tears, he just held her tighter.

When the tears finally stopped falling Sam brushed them away and smiled as he asked, "Just to be sure, would that have got the same reaction if I'd said it last week?"

As he'd hoped, she laughed before grinning at him and admitting, "Probably."

Sam laughed at her admission.

Andy started tracing patterns on the arms that held her.

Kissing the top of her head Sam asked, "What're you thinkin' about?"

Her answer surprised him. "You."

"Me? What about me?"

Andy smiled as she turned in his arms so she was facing him.

"I wish I could say you were every dream I had come true but you're not ..." she trailed off to collect her thoughts. "Because not even in my dreams, did I think I would be lucky enough to be loved by someone like you ..."

Sam kissed her.

"In case you're wondering, I knew that _before_ this happened. _Now_ ... lucky's an understatement."

Andy laughed softly. "You think Sarah knew?"

Sam looked at her, not understanding.

At his quizzical look, Andy kissed him and said, "The night of the grenade, y'know when she chewed my ass out for not falling into your arms after ... you think she knew?"

Sam thought back over the conversations he'd had with his sister about a certain brown haired beauty. "Knowing Sarah, she wouldn't have fought that hard if she didn't. She may not've known how _you_ felt, but I probably gave her a pretty good idea how I felt ..."

Andy couldn't resist teasing him. "What d'you mean _felt_, Swarek?"

Sam flipped them over so she was on her back.

Andy giggled in surprise.

She kissed him and whispered, "You felt amazing last night ..."

Sam brushed her hair away from her face as he whispered, "What about today?"

Her eyes danced as she said, "I don't think I can answer that ..."

Sam laughed as he kissed her. "No?"

"Nope. Sorry."

Sam laughed at her apology. She didn't _sound_ sorry. "Why's that?" He asked with a devilish grin.

She matched his grin with one of her own as she whispered against his lips, "Because you haven't touched me yet ..."

Sam brushed his nose across hers before he leaned up and feathered kisses over her face.  
"You won't be able to say _that_ for long ..."

Andy had no idea what to expect after the way he'd made love to her the night before. She thought when she teased him about touching her that Sam's touch would be playful in return ... except he didn't touch her with his hands.

He feathered kisses over her face, down her throat, across her collarbone ... Sam feathered kisses over Andy's entire body. As he kissed his way back up after kissing his way down, Andy wrapped her legs around him, Sam chuckled at her unspoken request. He gave her what they both wanted as he joined their bodies.

Sam kissed the back of her neck as he pulled Andy back against him. He laughed as she let out a contented sigh and pulled his arms tighter. "What's goin' on, beautiful?"

Andy twined their fingers together. "I can't like the feel of your arms around me?" she teased.

Sam flexed his arms so his hold tightened making her giggle in surprise. "You won't hear me complain."

Andy giggled as she whispered, "After that, me either," making Sam laugh.

They laid in bed just holding each other a little while longer before Sam rolled away from her and got out of bed. Andy extended her hand allowing him to pull her out of bed towards the bathroom and the shower.

They were sitting on the couch after finally getting out of the shower. Sam had just finished brushing her hair and she was sitting with her back against his chest when his phone rang. Grumbling at the interruption Sam reached for it. Checking the Caller I.D. he laughed and handed the phone to Andy. "I have _serious_ doubts she's callin' to talk to me so you might as well answer it and I'll go make coffee."  
He got up and dropped a kiss on her lips before heading to the kitchen.

"Hi Sarah."

"Andy! I was expecting Sammy to answer."

Andy laughed. "He said if you weren't callin' to talk to him he didn't need to answer the phone."

"Give him a message for me, tell him I love him too," she laughed.

Andy laughed.

"Seriously, he was right. I called to see how you're doin' ... _both_ of you."

Andy smiled. "We're good."

"Does that mean?"

Sam had come back to sit behind Andy and heard Sarah's question.

He made sure his sister could hear when he said, "McNally, do _not_ answer _that_!"

He could hear Sarah laugh as Andy handed him the phone as she nodded back to the kitchen. "Sis."

"Hey Sammy. Just wanted to check in."

"Expected to hear from you sometime today," he replied with a smile as he sat on an island stool.

"Honestly, Sammy, how did it go after you got home and it was just the two of you?"

Sam chuckled. "Sorry Sis, but you're _not_ gettin' a detailed account of our sex life."

"Little brother, I didn't _ask_ if you made love to her, but that tells me you did."

Sam laughed. "Damn, Sis."

"You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important ... for both of you. As for details little brother, that would _definitely_ go under TMI ..."

Sam laughed again."I _know_ the feeling. But if it makes you feel better, yes, I made love to her."

Sam was surprised by his sister's soft spoken apology. "For what?"

"If you thought I pushed the physical ..."

Sam laughed softly. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't. Seriously, it gave both of us the chance to lay our fears on the table. As much as I wish it _hadn't_ happened to her..."

"You're stronger because it did."

Sam smiled. "Yeah."

"In case you didn't know it little brother, you were pretty damn strong before."

Sam felt Andy's arms around his waist as he laughed at his sister. "Thanks. Listen Sis, unless you wanna talk to her ..."

"No, I just called to check in. You know where I am ..."

"I know. Thanks." Sam hung up and turned to wrap his arms around Andy.

"Any ideas what you wanna do today?"

"As long as I'm with you ..."

Sam kissed her. "What d'you want, McNally? We'll do whatever you want."

"Really? Anything?"

The look on her beautiful face Sam wasn't sure he should say yes but what was he _supposed_ to say when he'd give her the world if she asked for it.

"You want it, baby, it's yours, but you gotta tell me."

Andy blushed as she whispered in his ear.

Sam didn't say anything, he simply picked her up and carried her back to the couch where Andy turned off both their cells.

Her request - that they shut out the rest of the world and spend the rest of their time off wrapped up in each other.

Sam laughed when the doorbell rang and Andy begged him not to answer it. His assurance that it was likely the cleaners with her uniform was the _only_ reason she agreed to answering the door, though she was pouting as he got up. Sam laughed as he kissed and whispered, "Carefully McNally, lookin' that adorable could get you in trouble ..."

Andy kissed him back and whispered, "Promises, promises."

While Sam was at the door something occurred to Andy and she went into the kitchen to check the calendar (she refused to turn on a phone to check).

Sam came up behind her. "I was pretty sure I left you on the couch ..."

Sam looked at the date and swore under his breath. With everything that had happened, the date was _completely_ lost on them both, but the calendar remembered - Jerry. It was the anniversary of his death.

Sam never said a word, just took her hand and headed for the stairs.


	55. Chapter 55

After they got dressed he put a call in to Frank and Oliver to get everyone to the Penny after shift while Andy called Traci. She tried to say no but Andy said it was important so she agreed.

They stopped by the cemetery on their way to the Penny. Andy offered to stay in the truck but Sam wouldn't hear it. So hand in hand they walked through the cemetery until they came to Jerry's.

"Hey brother, hate to say it, but I almost forgot. I know you woulda forgiven me given everything that's gone on lately, but I'm not sure I woulda forgiven myself.  
I'm pretty sure this beautiful girl beside me knows that and that's why we're here on our way to the Penny for drinks in _your_ memory instead of curled up on the couch.  
I can't believe you've been gone a _year_ brother! A year! That means another anniversary is comin' up and _that_ is one we _won't_ be gettin' together over drinks for! I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lock the rest of the world out and do everything humanly possible to make up for bein' a complete and total ass who suffered a _serious_ lapse in judgment and good ol' fashioned common sense."

Beside him, Andy laughed quietly at his description of his own actions that night.

"Listen brother, just came to mark the day and tell you that I _haven't_ forgotten. I love you brother and I miss you ... it ain't the same without you."

The moment they got there Andy had let go of Sam's hand, prepared to step back and give him time alone, but as soon as she let go he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her close.

When Sam finished Andy added, "Don't listen to him, Jerry, he's _more_ than made up for that night ... _not_ that I'll object to cuddlin' on the couch with him ... but don't tell _him_ I said that or he might _quit_ curlin' up on the couch with me!"

Sam was standing behind her, both arms around her. He kissed her temple and whispered, "_Never_ gonna happen!"

Andy giggled as she turned in his arms and was met with a kiss.

Andy laughed when Sam looked over her shoulder at Jerry's headstone and said, "Don't tell _her_ brother, but I'd be happy spendin' the rest of my life on that couch as long as she was there."

Andy turned in his arms to face the headstone and laughed as she said, "Barber, you didn't tell me he was such a romantic!"

Sam whispered against her ear, "_Only_ with _you_," before continuing a little louder, "Who said Barber knew?!"

Taking her hand, he said, "Alright brother, we're outta here. But before we go, if you're the one watchin' over her and keepin' her safe ... Thank you, you will _never_ know what that means."

They got to the Penny before shift was over and Sam made arrangements with Liam for their tab and the first round of drinks.  
Everyone gathered around the table and Sam motioned for their attention.

"A year ago today the 15 family lost one of its own. We're here tonight to acknowledge Jerry's presence in our lives and give thanks for that."  
Everyone raised their glasses and after a chorus of "To Jerry" they drank them down.

They were surprised when Traci asked for everyone's attention. "If we're payin' tribute to Jerry, then we gotta acknowledge his 2 best friends in this world - Oliver and Sam. Sam thank you for doing this."

The beer, the tequila, the scotch flowed in Jerry's memory. Laughter and tears flowed as easily as the drinks. Only tonight the tears that flowed were tears of laughter as the boys told stories.

Sam kept a watchful eye on Traci and nodded in understanding when she left.

He wasn't surprised when Andy leaned back and whispered to go home. No one but Nick and Frank knew, no one but Nick and Frank would _ever_ know the real reason why they were cutting out early, Sam had his arms around Andy all night so Nick gave them the out by suggesting they get a room if they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Sam nodded his thanks and they were gone.

As soon as they walked through the door, Sam asked, "You ok?"

"Yeah, as crazy as it sounds because your arms _were_ around me, I needed to be home and feel your arms around me."

Sam took her by the hand. When he would've led her into the living room and to the couch she turned and said, "Nick said something about a room ..."

Sam laughed as he steered her in the direction of the stairs. Yeah it was early, but it had been an emotional day so hand in hand, they went upstairs and got ready for bed.

Sam wrapped his arms around her and pulled Andy back against him.

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Traci gave _me_ the credit for gettin' everybody together, but _you're_ the one ..."

"Babe, he was your best friend ..."

"But I promised we'd do whatever you wanted."

"Today wasn't about me ..."

Sam kissed her temple. "It was supposed to be."

Andy rolled over so she could look at Sam. "No. Today was _always_ about Jerry ... The only reason it was gonna be about _me_ was because ..."

Sam kissed her before saying, "That door is _not_ getting opened or a phone answered until we're due back on duty! Hell, I may not even let you outta this bed!"

Andy laughed before she kissed him. Softly she said, "I meant it when I said you've more than made up for that night."

Sam knew they'd gotten passed all the shit that went down after Jerry's death and if her assault hadn't happened so close to the anniversary it probably wouldn't be a big deal but his emotions were all over the place.

Andy kissed Sam's chest before laying her head down and whispering, "Let it go, babe. It's over, we're here, together, that's _all_ that matters. Sleep, and know I love you more with every passing day."

Sam kissed the top of her head and hugged her tighter before he whispered, "I love you."

Sam was as good as his word, they still had three days off and they spent those three days either in bed or curled up on the couch.

With their phones off he missed the call from _Made You Look_.


	56. Chapter 56

He was less than happy when the alarm went Monday morning signaling their return to the rest of the world. Andy wrapped her arms around him when he pulled her out of bed and grinned as she kissed him and said, "The couch _is_ gonna be here when we get off shift."

Sam wasn't any happier about being back to work when he undid her bracelet after Parade. His hands on her hips, he scowled at Andy as she put her hands on his shoulders. "Are you _really_ gonna make me suffer a 10 hour shift without a smile?"

"There is only _one_ thing that's gonna get me to smile, Officer McNally ..."

"What's that Det.?"

"You. Me. On a couch."

Andy looked around to make sure they were alone before she whispered in his ear, "You can stretch out on me _any_ time, Det."

Sam closed his eyes at her words. "I'll take you up on _that_ as soon as I get you _outta_ here ..."

Andy smiled and grabbed his hand, towing him towards the coffee station. Since the assault case was still active, she and Nick had been assigned desk duty until further notice.

They made their coffees, handed them off and Sam walked her to the desk where Nick was waiting.

"Hey partner," Nick greeted her, grinning at Sam.

Andy laughed as she replied, "Hey."

The guys greeted each other before Sam kissed her and headed for his office.

They had yet to turn on their phones. The moment he got in his office and turned it on he was going to text her, but he had messages. Dialing his voicemail he punched in his password and waited. He wasn't surprised by the messages from Sarah, since they weren't urgent and all said the same thing - "Hi, it's me. Just checkin' in. We love you both," he just deleted them. Then there was the message from Chantelle that made him smile - "Hi Sam, it's Chantelle at _Made You Look_, thought you'd like to know it's ready for pick up whenever you are."

He sent Nick a text and told him he needed to make a pick up for him before he called and made arrangements to have it picked up on Nick's lunch. Andy wouldn't think anything about Nick doing a lunch run to give them some time alone.

Andy thought Sam's text was Gail so didn't think anything of Nick's smile when the text came in.

She had turned her phone on after Sam went to his office. She laughed at the message from the guy sharing her desk and asked, "Do I need to call you?" Nick laughed. "No."

She'd just finished her voicemail when she got a text that made her laugh.

_Is your shift over yet?_

Nick looked across the desk at her. Andy showed him the text, making _him_ laugh.

He grabbed his own phone and fired off a text to an office upstairs. _Really Swarek?! You've had her to yourself for the better part of a week, time to share her with the rest of the world, brother._

It didn't take long for his phone to sound a new message. He busted out laughing when he read: _Nope. Sorry. She's 1 thing I DON'T share!_

It was Andy's turn to give Nick a funny look. He showed her the text. She laughed as she asked, "_What_ did you say to him to get _that_?!"

Nick laughed and brought _his_ message up and showed her.

Andy laughed. "You _know_ you're gonna be in shit for that, right?"

Nick shrugged and grinned knowing Sam wouldn't give him _too much_ hell over it.

He fired back: _She's afraid I'm in shit, lol_

Sam responded with: _Gotta keep up appearances, brother_.

Sam got a message from the prosecutor's office and sent a text to both Andy _and_ Nick as well as Frank: _My office._

Nick held the door for Andy as Frank came down the hall. Frank made sure the door was closed before he asked the question on Andy and Nick's minds as well, "What's going on?"

"Prosecutor's office called," he looked at Andy, "looks like you'll be back on the streets soon, closing arguments were today."

"Did they say anything about the judge?" Frank asked.

"Matheson pissed him off right outta the box. Tried to tell the judge it wasn't his fault." Sam checked his book. "And I quote: How was I to know she was a cop?"

Frank shook his head while Nick rolled his eyes and Andy laughed.

"Judge didn't buy it?" Andy asked.

"Not when Nick's statement backed yours up."

They were interrupted when Sam's phone rang.

"This is Swarek."

Sam hung up less than five minutes later and smiled at Andy. "Convicted _and_ sentenced. 18 months for assault, 6 months for public intoxication, defense _immediately_ filed the appeal and it was denied."

Frank smiled. "McNally, Collins, looks like you're back on the streets effective tomorrow. Sorry Sam, I know you liked havin' her close by."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, I do, but we both knew it was temporary."

Frank left to file the necessary paperwork and Nick simply followed him out.

The moment they were alone Sam reached for her.

"You ok?"

"Is it _really_ over?"

Sam smiled. "Yeah, baby, it is."

"Is it _supposed_ to happen _that_ fast?"

"It does when they're guilty and they make the mistake of pissing off the one person who calls the shots."

Sam walked Andy back to the desk. Nick was hanging up the phone.

"Your lunch will be here around quarter after twelve. I'll be back around one."

"Where are you goin'?" Andy asked.

"Out for lunch."

At Andy's raised eyebrow Nick laughed as he kissed her on the cheek before whispering, "You just got some amazing news, you deserve at least a few minutes alone to enjoy it."

Nick clapped Sam on the shoulder. "I'll see ya both later."  
Sam merely nodded.

Sure enough, 2 club sandwiches from the Penny arrived at 12:15 for McSwarek. They went into Observation 1 to eat without any prying eyes. It wasn't that it was something any of their fellow uniforms _hadn't_ seen, hell, the division was _used_ to them having lunch together. But after the news of this morning, they didn't just need to _be_ alone, they needed to _feel_ alone.

When they had finished eating Sam pulled her into his lap. Andy laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Hi."

Sam kissed her. "Hi."

"Are you _really_ ok with me goin' back out tomorrow?"

"I won't deny I'll miss you, but that's no reason to keep you off the streets and behind a desk."

"Is it _ever_ gonna get easier?"

"What baby?"

"Goin' out there without you."

Sam laughed softly. "I can't answer that."

There was a knock on the door. "Yeah?"

Nick slowly opened the door. "Just figured I'd let you know I was back, things are pretty quiet so unless you got some reason to leave this room, brother, I can handle the paperwork on our desk ..."

Sam smiled as he ran his hands up Andy's back. When Andy looked at him, Nick just smiled.

"Thank you."

Nick shrugged it off as he closed the door.

As soon as the door closed, Andy got up to lock it. Sam looked at her in question.

"No, we're _not_ doing it in an Observation Room ... I'd never be able to come back in one without blushing if we did."

Sam laughed. Truth was, _he'd_ never be able to observe another interview without thinking of _her_ if they did and they had promised Frank they could keep it professional.

He pulled her back into his lap. "So if we're _not_ gonna make out in an Observation room, _why_ did you lock the door?" he teased.

Andy straddled his lap as she said, "Because nobody _knows_ about this and I don't want them finding out because they opened the door at just that time ..."

Sam brushed hair back from her face, concern evident on his. "What's goin' on with you?"

"How do I go back out there without being afraid the next guy we pick up isn't gonna be able to keep his hands to himself?"

Sam rubbed her back. Sarah had said this question might come up once the sentence came down and she was given the ok to hit the streets again.

"Because you were born t'do this."

Andy hung her head as she said, "Yeah, because I'm Tommy McNally's kid ..." she couldn't help the shame that laced her voice. As much she loved him how he left was _not_ something she was proud of.

Sam raised her head so she was looking at him. "No. Because you're you. Rookies come and go. It may get them in the door, but pedigree _doesn't_ mean much if the cadet can't back it up. _Why_ do you think Frank didn't just let you give up the day of your evaluation?" Leaning in he whispered, "Why do you think _I_ fought so hard? My _rookie_ deserved better than the shadow her father cast. My _partner_ deserved better than the legacy her father left behind ..."

There were tears in Andy's eyes as she whispered, "Thank you."

"Remember, you're _not_ out there alone. You've got a partner, it may not be me, but he _does_ have your back."

Andy smiled. "Speaking of _that_ partner, it's not fair that he has to do _all_ the work while I'm locked away with you ..."

Sam grinned at her.

"_Don't_ look at me like that."

Sam feigned innocence. "Like what?"

Andy raised her eyebrows making Sam laugh. "Ok, ok. I'll share you with Collins for a few more hours."

This time it was Andy who grinned as she whispered, "I thought you didn't share me ..."

Sam cleared his throat knowing if he didn't get her back to the desk, neither would be setting foot in Observation any time soon. "Woman, behave."

Andy teased him with a kissed before she got up and unlocked the door.

Hand in hand they went back to the bullpen.

Sam dropped a kiss on her temple before going to his office.

He had just opened one of the files on his desk and began reading when a knock came at the door. He looked up to find Nick. "Hey man."

Sam smiled. "Hey man."

"Got a minute?"

"Of course."

Nick came in and closed the door. "Got somethin' for you."

Sam smiled.

Nick handed him a small box."Didn't know if you wanted it in your bag or what you were gonna do with it."

Sam still brought his duffle bag to work. If he was just going to be haunting the halls of the barn he was in jeans and a T-shirt or dress shirt, but more than once he'd gotten a last minute call into court and been required to change before heading downtown. He was also never without his uniform.

Sam took it and smiled "Thanks."

Nick smiled back. "Was happy to. They asked if I wanted to see it ... told them I'd see it after you gave it to her. Oh! I was asked to pass on the message that matching bands can be made so it's a set, you just need to say the word."

Sam smiled. "I'll call them. Listen man, I need another favor."

"Name it, man."

Sam handed the box back without even opening it. "I need _you_ to hold onto it for me ... and Peck _can't_ know."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Do I _sound_ like I'm kidding, Collins?"

"Relax man. You know I will but _why_ would you want me to hold onto it?"

"Because when Callaghan put a ring on it, it was because she _found_ the ring in his lock box ... I'm only doin' this once and _not_ because she found it ... but, I don't know _how_ I'm gonna ask her yet ..."

Nick laughed. "When you figure it out let me know ..."

"Thank you."

Nick waved as he walked out of Sam's office and closed the door, leaving Sam alone with his thoughts.

Now that he had it, he had absolutely _no_ idea _how_ he was gonna do it.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Andy knocking on the door. "Oliver just came in, asked if we were goin' to the Penny."

Sam blinked to clear his focus. "Do _you_ wanna go?"

Andy smiled shyly as she shook her head. "I know he's your best friend, but ..."

Sam stood up and walked to the door. Kissing her cheek he whispered, "But we have a date with a couch, McNally, so Ollie's gonna have to keep himself company."

Andy giggled at the mental image. She kissed his cheek as she whispered, "I was _hopin'_ you hadn't forgot ..."

Sam grinned at her."The promise of you and a couch? Never happen! Let's go home."

Even after all these months, hearing Sam say 'home' made her smile.

Sam looked at her. "You ok there, McNally?"

"Yep!"

Sam laughed and grabbed her hand. "Come on."


	57. Chapter 57

An hour later Sam unlocked the door.

"What d'ya say to delivery and beers tonight?" Andy asked as soon as the door was closed.

Sam kissed her. "Call it in. I'll take our gear up."

Andy smiled as she kissed him. "Ok."

Andy was just hanging up when she felt Sam's arms around her.

Sam found her in the kitchen, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her kissing the side of her neck as she hung up.

Andy giggled as she turned in his arms. "Hi."

Sam kissed her. "Hi."

An hour later, despite Sam's protest, Andy got up and plated the leftover pizza, she was putting it in the fridge when she felt Sam's arms around her. She washed her hands and let Sam lead her back into the living room.

Sam growled and Andy laughed when his phone rang. "The couch isn't going anywhere and neither am I. Go, answer it."

Sam kissed her and promised not to be long ... and he wasn't. He came back into the living room to find Andy stretched out on the couch.

Sam smiled as he turned his phone off and threw it on the table next to hers and laughed when Andy held out her arms and asked, "You gonna keep your promise or not?"

"What promise is that, McNally?"

"Your promise to stretch out on _me_ after shift ..."

Andy laughed as Sam laid down on the couch on top of her.

Sam looked down at her and asked, "Did you _really_ think I wouldn't?" before he kissed her.

Andy wrapped her arms around him and was rubbing circles on his back. She couldn't put her finger on it but the man on top of her wasn't the man she'd left the house with that morning.

"Babe?"

"Hmm?"

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

Something in his voice didn't sound right.

"Sam?"

Something in her tone got Sam's attention - it sounded like fear. "What is it, baby? What's wrong?"

"That's what I wanna know."

Sam leaned up and kissed her. "Nothin's wrong, baby."

When Andy would've argued because she could feel it, Sam silenced her with a kiss as he ran his hands up under her shirt. "I'm fine, baby. Just got a lot on my mind."

"Then talk to me."

Sam kissed her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Just thinkin' about how much I'm gonna miss bein' able to look out my office and see you. Gonna be a _long_ 10 hours tomorrow." He couldn't tell her what was _really_ on his mind ... at least not yet.

Andy wasn't buying it.

"Hey. Don't do that," Sam ran his fingers along her face trying to erase the worry.

"I can't help it. There's something wrong but you won't talk to me."

"Do you trust me?"

The question earned Sam a look Andy usually gave suspects that said or did something stupid, her words confirming what she thought of it. "You _really_ need me to answer that?!

Sam laughed before he kissed her. "Then trust me when I say there's nothing wrong."

"Glad you didn't ask me to believe you ..."

"Andy, if there was something wrong I'd tell you ..."

"Would you?"

Sam was surprised as much by the question as the tears in her voice.

"Don't do that," he whispered as he wiped tears from her cheeks.

"I can't help it, Sam, you're keeping things from me and I don't know _why_!"

Sam got up, grabbed his phone and shocked Andy by heading for the door.

His phone was on by the time the door closed. The first call he made was to Nick.

"Sam?"

"Where is it?"

"Here with me. Why?"

"No time to play 20 questions, man, just bring it here ... yesterday!"

Nick grabbed the box and his keys and was out the door. "I'm on my way."

Sam gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks," and he disconnected quickly dialing another number.

"The Black Penny, this is ..."

"Liam, it's Sam."

"Hey man."

"Need your help man, fast. I was gonna call you about this tomorrow but I can't wait that long ..."

"What's up?"

"The Valentine's Day dance, the song Andy and I danced to, I need to find it _fast_ ..."

Liam was quiet for a minute thinking back to that night.  
"Do you want me to send it to you?"

"Can you?"

Just then Sam's phone signaled a message. "You should have it."

Sam laughed. "How do you even know if it's the right song?"

"You only danced to one."

Sam laughed at Liam's matter of fact response.

"Listen man, I gotta go before one of two things happen - she locks me out or I'm sleepin' on the couch. Thanks for the help."

Liam laughed. "Anytime."

Sam was almost surprised when he was able to open the door. She hadn't locked him out, that was a good sign. Looking in the living room he _wasn't_ surprised that she was no longer on the couch.

Sam had never been so happy to get a knock on the door as he was the one that had Nick standing on their step.

When Sam opened the door Nick merely handed him the tiny box he held.

Sam thanked him. Nick nodded and left. Sam closed the door and went to find Andy.

She wasn't in the kitchen. He already knew she wasn't in the living room which meant she was upstairs.

He wasn't sure just _how_ upset she was so he checked the guest room first. She wasn't in it and neither was any of his stuff - that was a good thing. Going to their bedroom she wasn't in bed but the bathroom door was closed ... he could see light under it.

He tried to open the door but couldn't. It wasn't locked but there was something against it.  
"Get off the door, McNally."

Silence.

"I'll take the door off the hinge if I have to ..."

He could hear her get up. Seconds later the door opened.

"What d'you want, Sam?" there were tear stains on her cheeks.

Sam didn't say anything, just reached out his hand.

Andy took his outstretched hand and let him lead her out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom completely, and back downstairs.

"What's going on, Sam? I can't fight with you anymore tonight."

Sam kissed her cheek. "Good, because I don't _want_ to fight."

He led her back into the living room and motioned for her to sit down. He sat down on the coffee table. He pulled the message Liam had sent up on the laptop, ready to hit 'play'.

But before he did, Sam reached for the box beside him.

"You wanted to know what I was keeping from you? This," and handed it to her.

Andy looked at Sam then at the box he held out to her, not completely understanding.

"Open it."

"Sam?"

"Take the box, McNally and open it."

Andy's hands were shaking as she looked at the familiar logo of _Made You Look_.

"When?"

Sam knew what she was thinking and simply said, "No."

"When, Sam?"

Sam took the box out of her hand and placed it on the table so he could take her hands.

"The call that said it was ready came while the phones were off, but I went in over a month ago ..."

Andy visibly relaxed.

Sam chuckled as he leaned over and kissed her cheek before he whispered "This has _nothing_ t'do with that," and handed her back the box.

"Now open it."

Andy's hands were shaking as he placed the box in her hand. She caught her breath when she saw what was inside.

The man knew her. It wasn't flashy, even though there were 10 small channel set diamonds - 5 on each side - on the crisscross band, the center stone was princess cut. Like the other jewelry he gave her, it was white gold.

Sam pulled the ring out of its velvet bedding when Andy just sat there staring at it.

"I know you remember this from Valentine's Day, it says it a helluva lot better than I could ..." Sam hit 'play' and the melody of the song they danced to filled the room.

_I never thought I'd find the love_

_I'd searched for all my life_

_Someone to share and comfort_

_I envisioned in my mind_

_And when I wasn't looking_

_You appeared before my eyes_

_Just you and me forever_

_And today I'll make you mine_

_Someone so strong and special_

_That brightens every day_

_A shoulder to cry on_

_A friend in every way_

_Passionately waiting_

_To start my life anew_

_These vows we speak before us_

_I give all my love to you_

_A loving smile each morning_

_Arms to hold me tight_

_Lips to kiss the pain away_

_When things don't go just right_

_Our love will see us to the end_

_When God says we will part_

_But until then you'll be the one_

_Each day I'll share my heart_

_Someone so strong and special_

_That brightens every day_

_A shoulder to cry on_

_A friend in every way_

_Passionately waiting_

_To start my life anew_

_These vows we speak before us_

_I give all my love to you_

_These vows we speak before us_

_I give all my love to you_

As the song played, he slipped the ring he'd given her for Valentine's Day off. Placing it in the box.

When the song ended Sam slipped the ring on her finger and said, "You're the one and only woman I wanna share _my_ life with and whose life _I_ want to share, to be there for forever. I love you, Andy. Will you marry me?"

Andy watched as he slipped the ring on her finger.

There were tears in Andy's eyes when she looked up into Sam's.

"If you're doin' this just to get outta sleeping on the couch ..."

Sam laughed as he took her face in his hands. "I'm doin' this because I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Andy couldn't hold back the tears.

Sam shook his head as he smiled. "You gonna answer my question, woman?"

Since speaking was more than she was capable of at that moment Andy answered him the only way she could ... with a nod before launching herself off the couch into his arms.

Sam laughed as he caught her. "Was that a yes, McNally?"

Andy swallowed the emotion that was choking her and said, "If the rest of your life is all you're gonna give me, Swarek, I guess I'll have to be happy with that ..."

Sam chuckled as he whispered, "Baby, I'm pretty sure I said _forever_ ..."

Andy smiled as she said, "_That_ sounds better ..."

"You _still_ haven't said yes," Sam teased.

Andy leaned away so she could look at him as she said, "With every beat of my heart for the rest of my life, forever, my answer will _always_ be yes ... I love you."

If there'd been a gun to his head, Sam couldn't've stopped the mega watt smile that brought the dimples out in full force making Andy smile in return as she leaned in to kiss him.

Suddenly Andy broke the kiss and looked at Sam with a look of confusion.

"What is it?"

"When you grabbed your phone earlier and went outside, who did you call?"

Sam shook his head, laughing softly. "Made two calls, the first was to Nick to get your ring. The second was to the Penny to find out from Liam who sang the song, so I could try to find it," Sam looked at the laptop. "Rhonda Vincent featuring Russell Moore, 'I Give All My Love To You' ... yeah, that sounds about right."

Andy smiled before asking, "Why did _Nick_ have my ring?"

"Because he picked it up today at lunch and since I _didn't_ want you _finding_ it like last time ... he was gonna hold onto it until I figured out how I was gonna ask you ... and _that_ was what I was keeping from you, I was trying to figure out how to ask."

Andy kissed his cheek as she said, "I wouldn't have minded finding this one ... at least this time I woulda known it was for me. As for 'how' ..." she trailed off as emotion filled her voice.

A giggle earned her a raised eyebrow in question. "We need to mark this day on the calendar - the man who _doesn't_ plan was _over thinking_ a simple question."

"_That's_ why you wanna mark today on the calendar?!"

Andy grinned before she softly said, "The _how_ wouldn't've mattered," she placed her hand over his heart, "because it came from here ... and my answer _still_ would've been yes."

Sam kissed her gently.

"But for the record, Swarek, how you _did_ was something I'll never forget ..."

Sam ran his hands up Andy's back and smiled as her head found his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him.

He sat there and held her for a few minutes before her head popped up. He wasn't surprised when she reached for the phone.

"Who you callin'?" He was pretty sure of the answer until he saw the camera.

"Baby, what're you doin'?"

Andy giggled as she took a picture of her hand. Attaching it to a text she sent it to Traci, Dov, Chris and Gail along with Oliver, Frank and Noelle with the message: _Gimme a ring sometime ... oh wait, he did … so don't! lol_

She then sent the picture to Nick, the message she included simply read: _Thank you!_

They weren't surprised when both cells went off, each smiling at Nick's simple reply: _Congrats! :-)_

They _were_ surprised however by the next text - from Frank. They weren't _scheduled_ off but his message gave them the next day off for "personal reasons".

Andy looked at Sam. "Sorry."

"For?"

"Not asking _when_ or how _you_ wanted to tell people."

Sam laughed. "The _only_ person I care about telling is Sarah and we'll call her tomorrow. We should probably go see your dad tomorrow too."

"Oh my God! My dad ..."

Sam laughed. "Calm down, baby."

Andy didn't get a chance to say anything else before her phone signaled a new incoming text.

"Took her long enough," Sam laughed as they saw Traci's name pop up.

Andy could hear her best friend squeal in excitement as she read: _DUDE! THIS is how you tell your best friend?! NOT impressed, McNally! Congrats sweetie, SOO happy for you guys! Talk soon._

Andy laughed as she read Traci's message, showing it to Sam.

Sam received a similar text from Oliver: _Uh, Sammy? There somethin' you wanna tell me, brother?_

Sam laughed as he showed Andy before firing back: _Like what, brother?_

Oliver came back with: _Like McNally texting a picture of her LEFT hand sportin' a new ring where another ring used to be ..._

Sam laughed to himself as he sent: _Oh that, yeah, I, mighta asked her to marry me ..._

Oliver grinned as he sent: _And you DIDN'T tell ME? Sammy, I'm hurt …_

Sam laughed. _And give you a chance to talk her OUT of saying yes? NO WAY, brother!_

Oliver shook his head even though Sam couldn't see him as he replied: _Are we talking about the same woman? Because lemme tell ya somethin' brother, NO ONE could talk that girl outta sayin' yes to THAT ? from YOU!_

Sam smiled as the messages kept coming.

_The ? IS brother are we gonna get YOU to the front of an alter?_

Sam was shocked. _Ollie!_

Oliver actually _was_ laughing out loud when he sent: _LOL! Sorry brother, but I don't think that pretty girl of yours would appreciate city hall & a J.P._

A little annoyed, Sam fired back: _Are you done yet?_

Oliver shrugged it off: _Just sayin', brother ..._

Sam was quick to respond: _You say ONE word to McNally ..._

Oliver was laughing as he replied: _LOL! Relax brother. She won't hear it from me ..._

Satisfied his friend was done foolin' around, Sam sent: _Good!_

As soon as she saw him hit 'send' the last time Andy asked, "Makin' a date with your girlfriend?"

Sam laughed. "Sorry, don't have a girlfriend anymore."

Andy tried to keep a straight face as she asked, "Oh no? Sorry to hear that."

Sam pulled her back into his lap as he said, "I'm not."

"Really?"

Sam kissed her and said, "Nope. Because the next date I make with her will be our wedding date."

Andy frowned. "You mean you're not taking me out til our wedding?

Sam laughed. "For a woman that said she listens to me, you don't pay much attention. I _said_ the next date we _make_, McNally ..."

Andy was about to comment when she realized what he said. She looked at him. "Really?"

Sam kissed the tip of her nose as he smiled. "Really."

"We can't really pick a _when_ til we decide _where_ ..."

"_Whatever_ you want, _whenever_ you want, _wherever_ you want.

"Sam! It's not just _my_ wedding, it's _our_ wedding ..."

"I'm _not_ gonna be one of _those_ guys that tells his girl just tell him where and when to show up, but baby, we're only doin' this _once_ so I want you to have the wedding of _your_ dreams."

"You wanna know what _my_ dream is? You bein' there to meet me when my dad walks me down the aisle."


	58. Chapter 58

Nick and Andy came in at the end of shift, separating when they came to the locker rooms. Sam was leaning against the wall waiting when she stepped out. She smiled when she saw him. He pushed himself off the wall and reached for her hand.

"Ready to go home?" he asked.

Andy didn't get a chance to answer before Oliver put an arm around each of them, his head between theirs he kissed first Andy then Sam laughing at their reactions before he said, "Nope, sorry brother, just 'cause you put a ring on her finger _doesn't_ mean you get to skip out on Friday night drinks. I'll see you over there," and he left them staring after him. Andy shrugged when Sam looked at her in question. "Looks like we're goin' to the Penny."

Sam killed the truck's engine. Hand in hand, they walked to the door. The moment they walked through the door they heard "Congratulations" and looked to see all their friends and family waiting. They looked at each other and smiled before going to join them. They were greeted by Sarah and her husband and Tommy.

"What're you doin' here?" Sam asked as he hugged his sister before shaking Tommy's hand.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Celebratin' _your_ engagement wise ass!"

Sam laughed as he wrapped his arm around Andy's shoulder.

Liam brought a scotch for Sam, a beer for Andy and another ginger ale for Tommy.

The drinks flowed and somebody kept the jukebox fed.

All of a sudden Oliver was asking for everybody's attention. Sam groaned into Andy's hair. He _knew_ this was gonna happen! He just prayed Oliver would make it quick and fairly painless. The group grew quiet, all wanting to hear what one of Sam's oldest friends had to say, Sam cleared his throat and said, "Get it out of your system, Shaw," causing everyone to burst out in laughter.

Once the gathered group was quiet once more Oliver began, "Y'all just want the dirt on my boy , Sammy, don'tcha's?" There were a few nods around the room accompanied by a stern, "Careful Shaw."  
Oliver clapped him on the back. "Relax brother, can't be tellin' her _those_ stories until _after_ you've said 'I do' ..."

Everyone laughed again while Sam rolled his eyes. There was _no_ gettin' out of it, Ollie was gonna embarrass him either here or at the wedding and if Sam had his choice he'd rather it be tonight.

"Get it outta your system, Shaw, just remember I got dirt on you too," Sam said with a laugh as he wrapped both arms around Andy as she leaned back against him. Andy wrapped her arms over his as Sam leaned in and whispered, "Promise you'll still marry me after Ollie gets done."

Andy laughed as she arched her head back, reaching up to bring his head down so she could whisper in his ear, "_Nothin'_ Ollie says is gonna change my mind. The _only_ way this wedding _isn't_ gonna happen is if _you_ change your mind ..."

"_Never_ gonna happen, baby," Sam whispered before he kissed her.

"Sammy behave. You can make out with your girl later, although I gotta tell you brother, the idea of my best friend and the rookie who brings out the dad in me ... do me a favor? Keep it behind closed doors!" and he winked at Andy.

It was Andy who responded. "Sorry Oliver, every time I try to _get_ him behind closed doors you insist on opening 'em!"

Everyone laughed.

"Alright, little miss smart ass, you just sit there and listen as I tell you about this guy of yours ... brother we go back a _long_ ways, you may wanna get comfortable."

Andy stood up. Everyone silently wondered where she was going until Sam sat down and pulled her into his lap as Oliver began to talk ...

"Now, we _all_ know my brother here isn't as adorable or as downright lovable as I am."  
Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes. "But then nobody is." Everyone laughed.

"It's no secret our boy here," he put his arm around Sam again, "has spent _a lot_ of time under,"

"_Too much_ if you ask me!" Sarah interjected, making everyone laugh again.

"How did I know _you'd_ jump on the 'pick on Sam' bandwagon, Sis?" Sam teased.

"Now Sammy, hush," Oliver admonished. "As I was sayin', Sammy was under a lot so his love life, well, the word nonexistent comes to mind,"

"What mind you've got left tonight," Sam mumbled into Andy's ear making her smile.

"Ladies man that he thought he was, Jerry tried to set our boy here up more than once with disastrous results, but did that stop him, nope, Jerry wanted to see Sammy happy and among the ranks of those settled down with families."

Sam rolled his eyes at the memory.

"Myself I don't see it, but Jerry _assured_ me that the girls fell all over themselves over Sammy," Oliver looked at Sam and shrugged.

"Uh, Oliver, that info would be on the did _not_ need to know list ..." Andy said sarcastically.

Oliver laughed before he continued, "The problem with those girls? They weren't exactly the waiting kind. Sammy'd get the call to go under and they were gone."

"Oliver..." Andy warned.

Oliver continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Sure, Sammy had enjoyed their company, but when the call came for the next assignment, Sammy was more than ready to give up his life for who knew how long ... that was until, what was it you called her in Boyko's office, brother?" Oliver looked at them as if he thought they'd respond. "A bambi came along and knocked him off his feet ... literally."

Andy buried her face in Sam's shoulder.

"McNally's first day on the job, I think it's safe to say she left a lasting impression on our boy here." Sam and Andy knew the soft laughter they could hear was coming from the . "There were sparks from the beginning, even if neither would admit it. Now, I don't mean to throw my deceased brother under the bus, but after all these years _somebody_ needs to set the record straight. It wasn't Andy that burned Sammy that day, it was Jerry. If Jerry hadn't've hugged him nobody woulda known ..."

"And I wouldn't've met the best partner I've ever had," Sam said with a smile.

"You didn't _always_ think that," Andy teased.

"I _tried_ to warn you, McNally, Sammy can be a little _thick_ headed sometimes."

Everyone laughed, even Sam.

"Rumors were flyin' that Sammy was goin' back under; if I had any questions about the connection between these two they were answered the day Andy took a bullet to the vest as a rookie. I was riding with Sammy because Frank had put her in charge of security at Supernova. She asked him outright what was holding him back, I was stunned when he told her that she was! We didn't need to be there but he had to check on his rookie. Looking back it's a damn good thing we were there because nobody coulda calmed her down like Sammy when she took that bullet to the vest. Not even Sammy's buddy Callaghan."

Sam growled at the mention of Luke.

"Somebody mention me?" Luke asked walking up to the tables.

Andy felt Sam tense.

"Private party, Homicide," they heard Gail say.

"What're we celebrating?" He asked seemingly oblivious to the missing invitation to join the celebration.

If Sam and Andy were hesitant to share their news with him, their friends weren't. It _almost_ sounded like she was gloating as Gail said, "The long overdue McSwarek engagement."

Luke looked at Sam and Andy, his gaze drawn to her left hand and the diamond she wore.

Oliver _almost_ felt sorry for Callaghan seeing Andy so happy with Sam, knowing Sam had always been the one Andy's heart belonged to, except he knew what Callaghan did to her and he'd never forgive him for that. "You heard Peck, Callaghan, this is a _private_ party, excuse us while we get back to it." Oliver turned his back to the detective, effectively shutting him out as he said, "I never thought Sammy would jump through hoops for a woman, but that day, he jumped _over_ people in his need to make sure she was ok ..."

Sam rolled his eyes as their friends nodded in agreement.

"Are you done yet?"

Oliver ignored him. "Then Sammy surprised us all by answering the call from Guns and Gangs and going under. In case any of you _didn't_ know, even a dangerous undercover op couldn't keep our lovebirds apart! Yes, it was while he was under that last time that McNally and Swarek became what we now know them to be - McSwarek."

Sam shook his head while Andy tried to bury her face in his shoulder.

Traci piped up. "Everybody got a drink?" She signaled for Liam.

"What's up, Traci?"

"You're part of this family. Grab a drink and help us toast their engagement."

Liam refreshed Tommy's and poured himself a ginger ale as well.

"Get those glasses higher, we've waited _a long time_ for this!" Gail yelled making Sam and Andy both blush.

When glasses were raised, Nick stood up, "As cops, there's no stronger bond than that between partners. I may ride with her, but even _I_ know Sam is the only partner Andy's ever had. Tonight we celebrate that _he's_ the only one she'll ever have and that _she's_ the only one he wants. Congratulations guys!"


	59. Chapter 59

She loved him in his dress uniform. So when he asked what she wanted him to wear that was what she asked. He'd been prepared for her to ask him to wear a tux. He wasn't one for a tux but for her, he would've sucked it up and wore it.

"And what about you, beautiful, what are _you_ wearing?" Sam asked trying to get her to give him a hint.

"A dress."

"_That's_ helpful." Sam laughed.

"Forget it, Swarek, you're _not_ seein' my dress before the wedding."

"Why the hell not?" Sam huffed.

Andy laughed as she wrapped her arms around him. They had just brought someone in and Andy had gone to see Sam while Nick dealt with Booking. "Because it's tradition."

"Uh, McNally? When have we _ever_ done anything traditional?" Sam asked as he kissed her.

"Hate to break it to you, Swarek, this is one thing in our life we're doin' _by the book_."

Andy had asked Traci to stand up for her and Noelle and Sarah to be her bridesmaids. Sam was not happy when Frank called on their 'personal' day to give Andy an extra day off. Andy had wasted no time asking about Traci and Noelle and after swearing Frank to secrecy because she hadn't asked them yet was assured that they would be given the day as well.

Andy had come home that night absolutely giddy, having found _her_ dress in only one day of looking. She had been disappointed however in not being able to find a dress for Traci, Noelle or Sarah.

She had asked Sarah when they called to tell her about the engagement if she would be an attendant. Sarah's answer was an immediate yes.

She had sent Sarah a picture of the dress via text. She also told her that the guys were all wearing their dress uniforms - Sam had asked Oliver to stand up for him and Frank and Nick to be his groomsmen. Nick would be paired with Sarah since Nick was the brother Andy didn't have - and what Andy wanted for the girls dresses. Sarah had replied saying she would check the bridal shops there, maybe she would get lucky. And lucky she was, finding not just one but both styles.

Andy had gone to Frank asking for another joint day off so they could all make the trip for the girls to try them on. Sam had also gotten the day off with the excuse that he knew St. Catharines better than the girls. Because it didn't involve _her_ dress Andy "let" him drive them down.

Sarah was surprised to see her baby brother get out of the driver's side. "Uh, Sammy, don't take this the wrong way, but, what the hell are you doin' here?"

Sam opened the back passenger door and helped Traci out before helping Andy out.

Walking up to his sister he kissed her on the cheek and said, "Nice to see you too, Sis."

Noelle and Traci greeted Sarah, following her into the bridal boutique.

The sales assistant was a little surprised to see Sam. The girls laughed promising they _weren't_ there for Andy's gown but for their attendant's gowns. Sam and Andy looked at each other and laughed when the assistant asked if they were McSwarek.

"Really Sis?"

"Hey! I got a call from Ollie asking if I had heard the latest _McSwarek_ news."

Sarah thought she heard Sam mumble _He is so dead_ as he went to sit down.

The assistant brought out three garment bags. Putting one in three different change rooms she instructed the girls which dress was which.

Andy sat with Sam as the girls changed. She had texted Sarah Traci and Noelle's measurements, the boutique promising to put a rush on it so the girls could try them on when they came to see them.

Noelle came out first. Sam couldn't resist teasing his old friend. He whistled as he said, "Must be a magic change room because I knew the woman that went in there, the one in front of me ..."

"Sam, shut up," Noelle laughed.

Sam smiled at Andy before he said, "You look great, Noelle."

Andy looked at her. "How does it feel?"

"Amazing. I won't have _any_ problem wearing this all day."

Next came Sarah. The moment she walked through the door Sam whistled. He never got a chance to tease his sister before she said, "Not a word, Sammy!"

Sam stood up and walked to his sister. Kissing her cheek he whispered, "All I was gonna say is I've got _the_ most beautiful sister in the world. Thank you for doing this for her."

Andy looked at Sarah. "What d'ya think?"

"I love it."

Andy turned toward the dressing rooms when Sam whistled.

"WOW! Trac, you look stunning!"

Traci laughed. "Thanks."

"What d'ya think?"

"I think, you've got amazing taste in dresses. I _love_ the feel of it and the color. I agree with Noelle, _no_ problem wearing this all day."

Andy looked at Sam. "What do _you_ think?"

Sam walked back to Andy, wrapped his arms around her and looked at the three women. "I think, you need to be prepared to turn _more_ than a few heads at the wedding. The three of you are _the_ best lookin' bridal party I've seen."

Sarah laughed. "Is that your _unbiased_ opinion, Sammy?"

"Of course it is. I'm a cop, it's my job to be objective."

Noelle and Traci laughed as Noelle said, "You keep tellin' yourself that, my friend."

The girls paid for their gowns and Sam carried them out to the truck.

Traci and Noelle got in the truck as Sam and Andy said goodbye to Sarah.

"I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks," Sarah said as she hugged them.

They were pretty sure they gave new meaning to short engagement. With the guys wearing their uniforms, as soon as the girls dresses were found they called the minister. If they could put it together "last minute", he had an opening six weeks from their conversation, which had been a month ago. Ceremony and reception were going to be in St. Catharines at Sarah's house, while the pictures were going to be at Niagara Parks. They had hired a photography student. While the bridal party was gone for pictures the Division was going to transform the backyard for the reception.

They had gone in to _Made You Look_ the day after he had proposed and ordered their rings. Andy's wedding ring matched her engagement without the center stone, while they had drafted a couple designs for Sam. He could get a plain crisscross band or match Andy's with a ring that had three channel set diamonds across the top. Sam had looked at Andy. She had kissed his cheek and said since he was the one wearing it - if he chose to wear it after the ceremony - it was his decision. The rings would be ready the week before the ceremony.

Andy didn't want roses, she liked lilies, so Sarah had suggested cascading bouquets of lilies and orchids. Andy loved the picture Sarah had sent her and ordered all four online - blue orchids and white lilies for herself, pink orchids for Traci and purple for Noelle and Sarah. She also ordered a smaller replica to throw. The table centerpieces were replicas of the bridal bouquet. All flowers were 'real touch'. The guys going sans boutonnieres because of the uniform.

The tent for the reception would be lit by strings of mini lights. Nothing flashy or extravagant, it was simple, it was ... them.

Sam kissed his sister. "Thanks for everything, Sis."

"My baby brother is tying the knot, it's my duty to do what I can to help the girl that's gonna put up with you." Sarah winked at him.

Sam just shook his head as he hugged her while Andy laughed at their interaction. Sarah hugged her and whispered, "If there's anything I can do, don't hesitate to call."

Andy returned the hug with a smile. "Thank you. I will."


	60. Chapter 60

The next two weeks flew by. Sam was waiting when they came in at the end of shift Thursday. Andy walked straight into his arms.

Sam laughed as she wrapped her arms around him. "You ok there, McNally?"

"You only get to call me that a few more times," she mumbled.

Sam tipped her chin up. "You ok?"

Andy sighed. "Yeah, just exhausted and ready for this day to be over."

Sam looked over her head and saw Nick nod towards the lockers. Sam steered her to the door. "Go get changed."

While Andy was changing, Sam went to talk to Nick. "Everything ok?"

"Nothin' bein' home with you won't cure," Nick smiled.

Sam raised his eyebrow. " What happened?"

"A nervous bride," Nick said with a smile.

"Why is she nervous?"

"You're not married yet."

"We will be this time Saturday."

"But til then ..."

Sam was surprised when the delivery car pulled in behind them. He smiled when he tried to pay the driver and was told it was on Officer Collins. Sam thanked him and carried it inside.

"Did you give Nick our supper order?"

"No. Why?"

" 'Cause he sprung for Chinese from our favorite place." Sam sat the bag on the coffee table next to the plates Andy had brought in.

Andy dished everything out while Sam washed up.

After they were done and Andy was sitting back against his chest going over their 'To do' lists for the next day, without bringing Nick into it, Sam asked about the end of shift.

Andy was glad she had her back to him as she said, "What did he tell you?"

Sam smiled into her hair. He shoulda known she'd know he'd talked to Nick.

"That you were a nervous bride." He turned her to face him. "What I wanna know is what you're nervous about ..."

She knew she was being foolish, the wedding was two days away, but she couldn't help but remember the way GQ had made the major push for a quickie wedding at city hall after he hooked up with Jo.

"It's no big deal, I'm fine."

"Nice try, baby, but it's me, I _know_ you, what's goin' on, McNally?"

"Today was like any other day, if the radio was quiet I was going over things to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything, Nick drove by city hall and I couldn't help but think about GQ's sudden desire for a short engagement because of what he'd done ... then I thought about what _you_ said after Jerry and Traci got engaged and I couldn't help but wonder if this was _really_ what you wanted."

Sam held her face in his hands. "You wanna know what I want?"

Andy nodded.

"I wanna see you in that white dress you refuse to let me see," she giggled slightly. "I wanna hear a minister, not some J.P., tell me that the most beautiful woman I'll ever lay eyes on is now my wife."

There were tears in Andy's eyes.

Sam kissed her.


	61. Chapter 61

Friday morning they were at _Made You Look_ when the doors opened. They had a final 'fitting' of the rings to ensure both proper size and comfort. They were _thrilled_ with them. They were congratulated by all the staff. They also picked up the bridal party gifts - guys and girls alike were being given an etched glass picture of the bridal party engraved with _McSwarek Wedding_ the date and the inscription: _Your presence that day is etched in our memory. With love and thanks. Sam and Andy._

The guys uniforms were at the cleaners, Nick was picking them up before he and Gail headed to St. Catharines later that afternoon.

Original plan was for Traci to pick her up on her lunch since Traci was bringing Andy's dress with her but Sam wouldn't hear of it. They would be apart that night, they were spending the day together. He really didn't understand it, but he had been told - _in_ _no uncertain terms!_ - he would _not_ see Andy after the rehearsal and bridal party dinner until he was at the altar. So Andy had to stop and try on her dress.

The flowers were being delivered to Sarah's the next morning. Along with the garter Andy had ordered.

Everything was off their lists, their bags were packed for the weekend. The bags for their honeymoon already in Niagara on the Lake at the B & B where they would spend it.

They were about to close the door when Andy stopped.

"What is it, baby? What's wrong? What'd we forget?"

Andy was very shy as she looked up the man who would soon be her husband as she said, "Your guitar case."

Sam sighed. She was trying to talk him into playing guitar as she walked down the aisle. She wouldn't ask him to sing, she just wanted him to play. She had intentionally left the processional in the program blank hoping he'd change his mind.

Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he smiled as he walked back in to grab it. He threw it in the back seat.

Tommy arrived with Oliver, Zoe and the girls. Epstein and Diaz were bringing Traci and Leo. Frank and Noelle were driving themselves because of the baby. Sam and Andy had refused to let them leave her at home with a sitter because she was family too. Nick and Gail pulled in right behind them.

They kicked back on Sarah's back porch with Sami in Sam's lap until Rev. Matthews arrived.

He greeted Sam and Andy. "All set for tomorrow? No pre-wedding jitters?"

Sam and Andy looked at each other as they shook their heads.

Rev. Matthews laughed. In all his years as an ordained minister he couldn't remember another couple as sure of themselves and each other. He was honored to be the one they'd asked to officiate.

"So, Andy, what're you walking down the aisle to?"

Andy looked at Sam and huffed out a breath when he shrugged, but before she could reply Sam said, "It's a surprise."

Her smile could've lit up one of the neighboring small towns it was so big when she realized he was at least _considering_ her request.

Rev. Matthews smiled. "Ok. Any changes to music during the ceremony?"

They had decided against using _I Give All My Love to You_ during the ceremony in favor of using it as their first dance. So aside from the processional and recessional they were only having one song _during_ the ceremony and that was as they signed the register.

"Signing of the register will be to Savage Garden's _Truly, Madly, Deeply_ and the recessional is Westlife's _I Lay My Love on You_."

"And we're doing a hand ceremony instead of candles, if I remember right?"

Sam and Andy nodded in agreement.

"Is there someone else you'd like to have read the hand ceremony?"

They looked each other for a few moments before Sam turned to Sarah. "What d'ya say, Sis?"

Sarah smiled. "Absolutely."

Rev. Matthews smiled before asking, "You're saying your own vows?"

Again, they both nodded.

"Ok ... sounds like we're all set. Any questions?"

"Just one,"

Andy looked at Sam.

"When do I get to kiss the bride?"

Andy blushed as their family and friends laughed.

Rev. Matthews said goodnight and everyone loaded up to head to the restaurant for dinner.

Sam _tried_ to prolong dinner as long as he could but the guys had other ideas.

Before the guys dragged him away from his bride-to-be Sam snuck a word with Gail. She grinned and agreed to his plan.

Out of respect for Andy, the guys were having an alcohol-free night.


	62. Chapter 62

Sam managed to ditch the guys, catching a cab to the hotel the guys were at for the night. He wasn't surprised when his phone rang. Seeing Ollie's name he skipped a hello.  
"Don't even bother, brother. I'm not about to tell you where I am. Enjoy the rest of the night and I'll see ya in the mornin'."

Disconnecting the call he checked the time - 10:30, he had no idea what the girls were doing but he needed to hear her voice. Before hitting speed dial '3' he grabbed the guitar out of its case and laid it on the bed.

Andy smiled when she saw his name on the caller I.D.

"Hi."

"Hi baby."

"Boys behaving?" she asked with a laugh.

"They were when I left them," he said with a smile.

"Left them? Where are you?"

Sam smiled at the concern in her voice. "Back at the hotel."

"Why?"

"Because I'm where I wanna be ... well, I'd rather be with _you_ but that seems against the rules. What about you? Havin' fun with the girls?"

"They're downstairs."

"Where are you?"

"Our room."

"Why?"

"Same reason."

Sam put the phone on speaker and picked up the guitar.

"Babe?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Thought we got disconnected."

Sam laughed softly. "Right here. Do somethin' for me?"

"Anything. You know that."

"Just listen ..." and he started to play.

Andy smiled as she recognized the song _Marry Me_ by Train.

_Forever can never be long enough for me  
To feel like I've had long enough with you  
Forget the world now we won't let them see  
But there's one thing left to do_

Now that the weight has lifted  
Love has surely shifted my way  
Marry Me  
Today and every day  
Marry Me  
If I ever get the nerve to say  
Hello in this cafe  
Say you will  
Mm-hmm  
Say you will  
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me  
To feel like I am close enough to you  
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you  
And you're beautiful  
Now that the wait is over  
And love and has finally shown her my way  
Marry me  
Today and every day  
Marry me  
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe  
Say you will  
Mm-hmm  
Say you will  
Mm-hmm

Promise me  
You'll always be  
Happy by my side  
I promise to  
Sing to you  
When all the music dies

And marry me  
Today and everyday  
Marry me  
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe  
Say you will  
Mm-hmm  
Say you will  
Marry me  
Mm-hmm

When the song was over he knew she was crying even before he heard her tear filled, "Yes."

"I'll see ya tomorrow, McNally."

"Can't wait."

"I love you."

"I love you."

As much as he hated to, Sam hit 'end' disconnecting the call.

When the phone rang at 1 a.m. he didn't have to check the I.D. to know who was calling.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No. What's wrong?"

"Can't sleep."

Sam sighed. He was afraid of that. She needed sleep and he knew she wouldn't get any without him. She didn't sleep without him at home, why would she here? Screw it. Sam got out of bed and was getting dressed. "I'm on my way, baby."

"You can't ..."

"Yeah, I can. You don't wanna stay at the house we'll come back here ..."

She didn't give him a chance to finish before she said, "What's your room number?"

"Andy ..."

"Call me a cab. Please?"

"Hold on."

Sam used the hotel phone to call her a cab.

"They'll be there in 15 minutes, you'll be here in 30, baby. They're not pulling up to the house ..."

"I'll be outside waiting."

Thirty minutes later there was a knock on his hotel room door.

He opened the door to find her standing there in her pajamas.

The moment he opened the door she was in his arms.

He led her to the bed and pointed. "In."

As soon as he crawled in next to her, her arms were around him, her head was on his chest and she was fighting to stay away. He kissed her temple.

"Go to sleep."

He made sure to set an alarm so she could get back to Sarah's without notice.

Andy wasn't ready to get up when Sam told her she had to go.

"I don't _want_ to go," she mumbled as she pulled his arms tight around her.

Sam laughed as he kissed the back of her neck. "The _only_ reason I'm ok with you leavin' this bed, woman, is because you have to go and let them make you more beautiful than you already are to walk down that aisle later."

Andy rolled over to look at him. "Shower with me?"

Sam rolled out of bed and reached for her hand. She walked into his arms.

"You sure you don't wanna shower by yourself? This _is_ your last as a single woman ..."

Wrapping her arms around him she leaned up and whispered, "Shower with me one last time before my husband finds out."

Sam couldn't help it, he laughed. Shaking his head he pulled her towards the bathroom.

It was a good thing he'd set the alarm earlier than necessary when his beautiful bride-to-be wrapped her arms around him in the shower and asked him to make love to her.

He was in a different part of the hotel so he didn't have to worry about her being seen as she left.

She left with a kiss and the promise to see him in a few hours. "I'll be the one in ivory satin."

Sam kissed her and whispered, "I can't wait."

She no sooner snuck back into the guest room at Sarah's then there was a tiny knock.


	63. Chapter 63

"Aunt Andy, wake up, you marry Uncle Sammy today!"

Andy smiled. Opening the door, Sami stood there with a coffee.

"Sweetie, did you tell Aunt Andy to grab a quick shower so her hair can dry before they get here to do her hair, nails and make up?" Sarah yelled from downstairs.

"Had my shower. Just havin' a date with caffeine ..."

Sarah laughed. "You've probably got half an hour."

Andy kissed Sami on the head and closed the door, hitting speed dial before she sat on the bed.

"Miss me already?"

Andy laughed. "Had to tell you how they 'woke' me ..."

Sam laughed. "How?"

"Your niece knocked on the door and told me to get up because I'm marrying you today."

Sam chuckled. "She's right, you are."

A loud knock came on the hotel room door followed by, "This is it, Sammy, last chance to change your mind!"

Sam opened the door, the phone still to his ear. "Care to tell _my bride_ what you just said?" Sam asked sarcastically.

Oliver reached out for the phone and Sam smacked him upside the head. "Ow! Hey McNally! Just gettin' Sammy ready for you."

Andy laughed. "I'll bet … What'd you say, Oliver?"

"Uh … It was nothin', McNally."

Andy thought she heard Sam say, "Coward."

"Actually, coverin' his ass and _not_ pissin' her off is probably smart, brother," she thought she heard Nick say.

"Oliver Shaw, what ... did ... you ... say?"

He could tell by the tone of her voice he was screwed. Looking at Sam he bit the proverbial bullet and softly said, "That it was his last chance to change his mind."

Oliver _knew_ he was in trouble when her only response was to ask for Sam.

Sam took his phone back and kicked his groomsmen out. "You _know_ he was teasing, right?"

Andy waited until she heard Sam's voice to burst out laughing. "Yeah, but _he_ doesn't know that."

Sam laughed.

There was a knock on Andy's door. "Hair, makeup & manicurist are here," Sarah said sticking her head in. Seeing the phone she knew who was on it so she yelled, "There better _not_ be video chat going on! Say good bye, little brother!"

He laughed. "Sounds like you gotta go."

"Yeah, still in my pajamas ..."

"Ok, I'll see you in a few hours. I love you."

"I love you."

Sarah knew they'd stay on the phone all day if she didn't take it away, so she said, "Before you hang up, I need to remind Sammy he needs to be here for pictures by 10."

Sarah saw the look on Andy's face. "No, you're _not_ gonna see each other."

"Sammy?"

"Hey Sis."

"Pictures. 10. Your ass along with your groomsmen's better be here ... You hear me?"

Sam laughed. "I hear ya."

Andy was disappointed but not surprised when Sarah disconnected the call.

"Never mind the lovesick act, McNally, you'll see him soon enough and I'd _like_ you to be in more than _just_ your lingerie ... even if my brother wouldn't!

Andy laughed.

"Did you bring a blouse with you so you don't have to worry about your hair?"

Andy pulled out one of Sam's dress shirts she'd brought for this reason.

Sarah laughed. "Is that my brother's?"

Andy blushed as she nodded.

"You haven't even been apart 12 hours yet," Sarah laughed. Andy checked her watch and thought _more like four_.

"Ok, you _really_ need to get into your lingerie and Sammy's shirt so we can get your hair, makeup and nails done so you can be getting dressed while Sammy and the boys are doing pictures."

Sarah pulled a box out of the closet and handed it to Andy.

"What's this?"

Sarah smiled. "Open it."

Andy opened it to find the ivory lingerie she'd looked at on one of their shopping trips.

"Sarah, you didn't have to ..."

"I didn't. Sammy did. Said to give it to you today."

Andy was amazed that he'd do that for her. "He didn't have to do that," she whispered.

Sarah smiled. "He didn't do it because he _had_ to, he did it because he loves you." Sarah laughed. "You are the _only_ woman my brother would even _think_ of doing that for."

Andy smiled, knowing it to be fact.

There was a knock on the door. Andy put the lid on the box as Sami came in. "Mommy, everybody's lookin' for Aunt Andy."

Sarah looked at her daughter. "Can't have that, can we?" She looked at Andy. "You get dressed, hair, makeup, they're all set up downstairs. Soon as everybody's done, we'll come up and get dressed. The guys'll be gettin' dressed in the basement. Basement is _off limits_! He got the same warning about up here. The boys got their marching orders _not_ to let him outta their sight while they're here."

Andy laughed.

Sarah pointed to Sam's shirt and the box in Andy's hands. "Get those on, I'll see ya downstairs," and she slipped out of the room with Andy's phone still in hand.

Sam's shirt fell mid-thigh so she didn't bother with lounge pants.

Downstairs all the girls - Sarah, Traci, Noelle, even Gail and Sami were all in robes, sitting in front of either the hair stylist, makeup artist or the manicurist.

Gail whistled when she saw Andy. "Nice shirt."

Andy blushed slightly.

For someone that was "low maintenance" when it came to her beauty routine Andy was a little embarrassed by the sudden attention.

She _begged_ them to keep her makeup simple. They tried to get her to wear her hair up, she argued that she _always_ wore it up for work.

"Andy, are you wearing a veil?" the stylist asked.

"No."

Glancing at the other girls she said, "Then there's _no_ reason it _has_ to go up. Do you have a head piece?"

Andy shook her head.

The stylist gauged the weight of her hair and smiled. The stylist curled her hair and pulled it "back" using pearl clips so the curls flowed down her back. Andy loved the simplicity of it.

She was letting her pearl tipped French manicure dry when they heard the door open and Oliver shout asking if they were decent.

All the girls squealed and Sarah yelled at them to get out until they got Andy upstairs. Andy could hear Sam yell asking if he was allowed to see his niece.

Sami was about to run out to him when Andy stopped her.  
"Would you give Uncle Sammy something for me?"

Sami nodded.

"Sarah, upstairs, there's a box on the nightstand, would you get it for Sami, please?"

Sarah handed the box to Andy who gave it to Sami and whispered, "Give this to Uncle Sammy for me and tell him I said, I love you?"

Sami took the box and nodded running through the house to her uncle.

Sam knelt down as Sami ran to him. "Hey princess! How's my girl?"

"Happy!"

Sam laughed. "What're you so happy about?"

"You!"

"What about me, Princess?"

"Marry Aunt Andy today!"

All the guys laughed.

Sam noticed Sami hadn't thrown herself into his arms like she usually did, instead she was standing in front of him with something behind her back.

"What're you hidin', Samantha?"

Sami smiled, a Swarek dimples smile on her uncle and said, "Nuffin'."

Sam laughed and reached around her. "Nice try, Princess."

Sami was still smiling.

"What's this?"

"For you."

"From?"

"Aunt Andy. She said she loves you."

"Do somethin' for me?"

Sami nodded.

Sam handed her a box similar in size to the one she had given him. "Give this to Aunt Andy and tell her me too."

"Ok."

Sami took the box back to the kitchen handing it to Andy. "Uncle Sammy says me too."

Upstairs, Andy was in their room waiting as the other girls got dressed. Sitting on the bed she opened the box Sami had given her from Sam. After what Sarah had given her, she wasn't expecting anything else from Sam. She gasped in shock. It was a white gold and diamond dress watch. Lifting it out of the box to look at it closer, she saw a note under it. It read: _Turn over_. Andy turned the watch over to find an inscription: _Sam and Andy "McSwarek"_ and their wedding date.

She immediately put it on.

In the basement the guys were getting dressed. Sitting on the stairs, Sam opened the box Sami had given him from Andy.

He smiled when he saw the braided leather I.D bracelet and white gold dog tag on a braided leather cord. Picking them up - first the tag then the bracelet - he laughed to himself when saw the matching inscription to the watch he gave her. He slipped the dog tag over his head and was putting the bracelet on when the guys came to find him.

"What'd she give you?"

Sam pulled the tag out from under his shirt and showed the bracelet.

"What'd you give her?"

"White gold and diamond dress watch, with the _exact same_ inscription."

The guys got dressed and had their pictures taken then Sam went to the top of the stairs and shouted, "The groom's sister is needed for pictures in the dungeon."

"My basement is _not_ a dungeon, little brother," Sarah said as she descended the stairs.

Sam grinned as he hugged his sister completely oblivious to the others in the room . "No, but it feels like one."

Sarah hugged her brother. "Sammy, you don't see each other for 10 hours a day, it's not gonna kill you to wait another 3."

"Sarah, you've obviously never _seen_ them during those 10 hours," Nick laughed.

"Careful Collins ..." Oliver warned.

Sam laughed. "Ollie, leave him be. He puts up with us."

"Hey Sis, you _did_ get that dress for Sami, right?"

"Yes, Sammy, but she's refusing to put it on."

"Why?"

"Because she thinks I bought it for her ..."

Sam headed for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Sarah shouted.

"To see my niece."

"Sammy! Don't you _dare_!"

"Save your breath, Sis," Sam threw over his shoulder as he left the basement.

They knew the moment he got upstairs by the screams.

Sam ignored the women, going straight for Sami's closed door, knocking gently as he opened it.

"Hey ..." Sam stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Sami. Walking to the bed, he sat on the edge.

Tipping her chin up to look at him. "What's this? It's time for pictures and my princess isn't dressed yet."

Sami shook her head.

"Why not? Soon as I saw it, I thought of you."

"_You_ bought it for me?"

Sam smiled. "Yep. Listen, Princess, just because you're not _in_ the wedding , _doesn't_ mean you're not a _very_ special part of this day for me and I _know_ Aunt Andy feels the same."  
They had discussed having Sami and Leo in the wedding party as flower girl and ring bearer but decided against it preferring to allow the kids to have fun rather than the responsibility.

Andy was still in Sam's shirt, the last to put her dress on, the girls refusing to let her put it on until Sam went back downstairs. Against the protests of their not being able to see each other, Andy stood near Sami's door listening as Sam talked to her. When she heard him say her name, she stepped into the door and said, "Uncle Sammy's right."

Sami looked at her. "Today I _really_ become your aunt, so how could you _not_ be a special part of it?"

Sami smiled. "Did he _really_ pick my dress?"

Andy nodded as she walked to stand next to the bed. She put her hand on his shoulder. "He sure did. You don't _have_ to wear it, but I know it would mean _a lot_ to Uncle Sammy if you did." Sam reached up and squeezed her hand as he nodded in agreement.

"Uncle Sammy help me?" Sami asked shyly.

Sam smiled, "You bet, Princess."

Despite the raised eyebrows from her uncle Sami stood up on the bed and reached to hug Andy. "Ok."

Andy smiled as she hugged the little girl.

"Ok, Princess, let's get you dressed so we can go get our pictures taken so the photographer can come upstairs and take pictures of your beautiful aunt and her bridesmaids."

Sami giggled. "Ok."

Twenty minutes later Sam was carrying Sami downstairs. In the basement all the guys whistled causing Sami to bury her face in Sam's shoulder.

"Alright, knock it off. I have _no_ problem layin' out _any_ guy who tries to make time with _my_ princess!"

Sami giggled.

Sam sat on the stool with Sami in his lap. After the photographer took a few shots of the two of them he called for Sarah who stood next to him with her hand on his shoulder.

Andy was standing at the window looking out at the empty backyard when she felt her dad's hands on her shoulders.

Her only jewelry was the watch and charm bracelet Sam had given her.

Tommy turned her to face him. "As beautiful as my girl is, there's somethin' missin',' he said as he held a box out to her.

Andy opened the box to find white gold pearl and diamond teardrop earrings and the matching necklace. She recognized them as her grandmother's.

Following the 'family portraits', the photographer went upstairs to get pictures of Andy as she got dressed.

At 1:45 p.m. the photographer announced that all pre-ceremony shots had been taken. The ceremony was at 2 p.m. so the guys were a little nervous when Sam disappeared.

Only _one_ person knew what Sam had planned for the processional and that was Gail. She slipped out without notice.


	64. Chapter 64

The girls were standing on the back deck behind the navy lace curtain put up for the purpose of concealing the girls until it was time to walk down the aisle, while Andy was alone in the kitchen, watching as their guests arrived when Nick came in. He handed her an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Don't know. Was just told to give it to you."

Andy looked at the writing - it was from Gail. _Why was Gail sending her a note?_

"It's from Gail."

Nick just shrugged and went out to join the other guys.

Andy opened the note:

_Andy,_

_Get your ass outside ... this is for you!_

_Gail_

Andy didn't understand. Checking her watch it was almost time for the processional and she'd be concealed by the curtain so she stepped onto the deck and was stunned when all the guys except Sam stepped up to the arbor where Sam was supposed to be waiting. The guys looked back and forth between themselves, wondering where Sam was, and why his guitar stand was next to the arbor.

Andy was still trying to figure out Gail's note when she and Sam walked out to the arbor.

"_What is she doing?_" Traci whispered.

Andy just smiled as Sam began to play. Then stood there in shock when he - accompanied by Gail -began to sing!

_It's always been a mystery to me  
How two hearts can come together  
And love can last forever  
And now that I have found you I believe  
That a miracle has come  
When God sends a perfect one_

Now gone are all my questions about why  
And I've never been so sure of anything  
In my life

Chorus:  
Oh, I wonder what God was thinking  
When He created you  
I wonder if He knew everything I would need  
Because He made all my dreams come true  
When God made you  
He must have been thinking about me, oh

I promise that wherever you may go  
Wherever life may lead you  
With all my heart I'll be there too  
And from this moment on I want you to know  
I'll let nothing come between us  
And I will love the ones you love

Now gone are all my questions about why (about why)  
And I've never been so sure of anything  
In my life

Chorus:  
I wonder what God was thinking  
When He created you  
I wonder if He knew everything I would need  
Because He made all my dreams come true  
When God made you  
He must have been thinking about me

_He made the sun, He made the moon,  
To harmonize in perfect tune,  
One can't move without the other  
The they just have to be together  
And that is why I know it's true  
You're for me and I'm for you  
Cause my world just can't be right (can't be right)  
Without you in my life_

Chorus:  
I wonder what God was thinking  
When He created you  
I wonder if He knew everything I would need  
Because He made all my dreams come true

_(Yeah)  
He must have heard every prayer  
I've been praying (I've been praying)  
Yes, He knew everything I would need  
When God made you (I thank God He made you)  
(Yes, He did… Yes, He did)  
When dreams come true  
(You are my love, my love)  
When God made you  
He must have been thinking about me_

Noelle followed by Sarah in A-line strapless navy blue satin with sweetheart neckline gowns & bolero style jackets then Traci in an A-line off-the-shoulder cobalt blue satin with V-neck gown all walked down the aisle, even without knowing the song until _that_ moment, they timed it perfectly so that Tommy and Andy - wearing an ivory satin sheath with lace overlay halter gown - arrived just as Sam played the final notes and handed the guitar to Gail who put in the stand and Andy put her hand in Sam's outstretched one.

Traci took her bouquet as they stepped up in front of the minister.

Turning towards their guests, Andy spoke first, "We stand here today in the presence of people from many places on our journey. You are the people who have been family for us. We rejoice that you have come to witness the beginning of our new family."

Sam continued, "We have invited this community of friends and family together to celebrate the beginning of a new stage in our journey. We are here to make a covenant together."

Their family and friends responded with the words in their programs, "We rejoice with you in this celebration. We have loved and valued you separately. We will continue to love and value you in your marriage."

Rev. Matthews addressed everyone.

"O God of Promise, your greatest gift is love. We ask your blessing on Andy and Sam who today in your presence will take each other in marriage. We thank you that they have found such love and faith and trust in each other, and that they wish to live together for the rest of their lives. Let nothing come between them. Through all the changing scenes of life, keep them forever loving and forever true to each other. Keep them safe from all trouble and when any trial does come to them, grant that it will only make them closer together and closer to you. Grant to them, through all their days a perfect love. Amen.

Let us remember that marriage has been established and sanctified for the welfare and happiness of people individually and of society as a whole. It is a commitment of two people to each other. But because our whole future as a society depends on the quality of home life, this is not just a notable event in the lives of these two individuals, but also in the larger life of humanity. It is a private commitment, to be sure, but it is one celebrated before witnesses and before God. Because we believe this, we continue this service with reverence, joy and praise, believing that the great heights of sharing and fulfillment can be experienced by this man and woman and by all of us as a caring community."

Rev. Mathews looked at Sarah, at Tommy and said, "The covenant between Sam and Andy unites their families, and creates a new one. Do you who represent their families rejoice in their union, and pray God's blessing upon them?

Sarah and Tommy replied, "We do."

He then addressed the rest of their guests, "You have been invited here to witness this covenant:

will you support Sam and Andy with your love, care, and friendship in the years to come?"

Their friends and family replied, "We will. Sam and Andy we rejoice in your love, and we will support your holy union today and always. May God bless you."

Rev. Matthews then addressed Andy."Andy, will you take Sam to be your husband, your partner in life? Will you love him faithfully as long as you both shall live?

Andy smiled as she looked at Sam and said, "I will."

He then addressed Sam. "Sam, will you take Andy to be your wife, your partner in life? Will you love her faithfully as long as you both shall live?"

Sam smiled as he looked at Andy and said, "I will."

With a nod from Rev. Matthews, Nick began to read the only bible verse they had selected - the familiar words from 1 Corinthians 13:

"_Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love._"

This was followed by Sarah stepping forward.

"Andy and Sam, face each other and hold hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you."

Sam and Andy did as Sarah instructed.

"These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future, as together you laugh and cry, and together you share you innermost secrets and dreams.

These are the hands that will love you and cherish you through the years.

For a lifetime of happiness, that are holding yours on your wedding day.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into your eyes.

These are the hands of your best friend, that are holding yours as they pledge their love and commitment to you all the days of your life.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.

These are the hands that will give you support as they encourage you to chase down your dreams.

These are the hands of your soul mate, and friend."

Rev. Matthews concluded the hand ceremony with prayer: "_God, bless the hands that hold each other upon this sacred day. May they always be held with love and trust. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in grace, rich in caring, and devoted to reaching for your perfection. May Andy and Sam forever see these hands as their healers, protectors, shelters, and guides._"

When they would have let go of each other's hands and turn to face him, Rev. Matthews shook his head and said, "Andy, Sam, I believe you have vows to make to each other?"

Andy cleared her throat and looked up at Sam as she spoke,

"Sam, you are my partner, my lover and my friend;

and today I promise you these things:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you.

I will respect you, trust you, help you,

listen to you, and care for you.

I will share my life with you.

I commit myself, body and soul, to you.

I promise to share my life with you

whatever the future brings.

I offer myself to be your wife, your life's partner,

as God is my witness."

There were tears in Sam's eyes when she finished. When Rev. Matthews turned to him, he cleared his throat before he made the same vow:

"Andy, you are my partner, my lover and my friend;

and today I promise you these things:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you.

I will respect you, trust you, help you,

listen to you, and care for you.

I will share my life with you.

I commit myself, body and soul, to you.

I promise to share my life with you

whatever the future brings.

I offer myself to be your husband, your life's partner,

as God is my witness."

Rev. Matthews looked to Oliver. When he patted his pockets as if he couldn't find the rings, Sam growled under his breath, "Oliver …"

Oliver shrugged and handed them over.

Rev. Matthews took both rings, "May the circle of these rings remind you of the love which encircles you today and always. May God bless these rings and those who wear them. Amen"

He handed Sam Andy's ring.

As Sam placed it on her finger, he said, "Today, tomorrow, always. This ring is a symbol of the love that I have for you, and you alone."

There were tears in the eyes of not just Andy, but everyone gathered at Sam's heartfelt words.

Rev. Matthews handed Andy a simple white gold crisscross band.

As she placed it on Sam's hand, she said, "Today, tomorrow, always. This ring is a symbol of the love that I have for you, and you alone."

Rev. Matthews smiled at them as he said, "Sam and Andy, you have committed yourselves to each other in this joyous and sacred covenant. May you become one, fulfilling the promises you made this day. Sam, you asked me a question yesterday, one I didn't answer. I can answer it today, and the answer is now … you may kiss your bride."

At Rev. Matthews words, Sam couldn't helped the dimples that appeared. Andy couldn't help but return the smile as she leaned in and whispered, "Well? Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Sam couldn't help the chuckle as he claimed his bride in a kiss.

It was Oliver who broke them apart. Clearing his throat, he said, "Uh, Sammy, save it for the honeymoon."

Andy laughed and hid her face in Sam's chest.

"Ok, you two, what d'ya say we make it legal and sign the papers?"

Sam and Andy nodded and allowed Rev. Matthews to go over to table where the license and registration were waiting for their signatures.

When Oliver and Traci had signed as well and all the pictures were taken, Rev. Matthews led them back to the arbor. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor to be able to present to you, the new Mr. and Mrs. Swarek," he looked at Sam and Andy who grinned and nodded. "Or, as they are more commonly now known: _McSwarek_."

Everyone was on their feet and when the minister said _McSwarek_ cheers erupted.

As Westlife's "_I Lay My Love on You_" played, Sam walked his bride up the aisle.


	65. Chapter 65

They were at Niagara Parks for photos before Andy got a chance to talk to Sam about his surprise. Everybody was milling about as the photographer took pictures of individuals and couples.  
Sam was leaning against a tree - they had put a clear plastic sheet on one of the trees so Sam could lean against it without getting his uniform all tree gum - with Andy in his arms when she brought it up. "You got somethin' you wanna tell me, Mr. Swarek?"

"What's that _Mrs_. Swarek?"

"A certain song you _sang_ today ..."

Sam laughed as he kissed her.

"I couldn't _believe_ when I heard you start singing ... I never asked ..."

Sam kissed her. "I know you didn't. I was gonna play, then I found that song and it was just so _us_, I knew I had to surprise you with it."

"It made today even _that much more_ unforgettable. I will _never_ be able to thank you for today ..."

"You don't _have_ to thank me. Just tell me you're happy, that this was the wedding of your dreams ..."

"Today went so far _beyond_ any dream I ever had ..."

Sam smiled.

"What was it?"

"What was what, baby?"

"The song."

Sam smiled again. "_When God Made You_, by Newsong."

Andy giggled. Sam looked at her. "Traci, when you and Gail walked out, she didn't know why you were walking to the altar with Gail."

Sam laughed.

"I owe her for the note too!"

"What note?"

"I was in the house, waiting for dad to come get me. The door opened but instead of my dad it was Nick with a note from Gail telling me to get my ass outside."

Sam laughed. "Sorry, baby, I was in the dark about that."

"And I still owe Oliver for this morning ..."

Sam laughed. He _knew_ Ollie was in for another slap. He knew he should probably feel sorry for his best friend but Sam couldn't find it in him. He deserved whatever she gave him for his smart assed remark.

Sam framed her face and kissed her. They were so caught up in each other they didn't even notice the photographer catching their incredibly private moment.

The photographer finished taking shots of the bridal party minus the bride and groom and now wanted complete party shots _with_ the bride and groom.

When the bridal party was done he called for their families to join them. Sami ran towards them and Sam scooped her up. "What d'ya say, Princess? You had pictures with _me_ before the wedding, how 'bout takin' some with Aunt Andy now?"

Sami looked him. "What about you? Why you not with us?"

Sam laughed as he kissed her temple. "I will be. But I need some pictures of just you and Aunt Andy, first, ok?"

Sami nodded.

Andy sat on one of the park benches - again covered to protect their clothes - but instead of in her lap like Sam's earlier, Sami knelt on the bench with her arms around Andy's shoulders, their cheeks pressed together as if Sami was giving her a hug. For the picture of the three of them, Sam sat with Sami in his lap, Andy leaning over his shoulder. They also did one with Andy sitting beside Sam, Sami standing on the bench behind them her chin resting on their shoulders. They also took pictures with Sarah and Tommy and a family portrait that included both families before the photographer said he wanted to focus on the bride and groom. They took silly shots, serious shots and just when they were getting sick of the attention, the photographer left them alone! Or at least they _thought_ he did. They were completely relaxed, the photographer just snapped away. Capturing every candid smile, caress or stolen kiss.

Finally the photographer came back asking for one final picture of the two of them any pose they wanted. They _loved_ the picture Traci had taken at Christmas of Sam leaning against the wall, Andy in his arms so they recreated it against the tree. They also had one away from the tree. Sam stood facing the camera, while Andy faced Sam, his arms were around her waist, her right arm around his waist, while her left hand rested on his chest showing off the rings she now wore.

Back at Sarah's, the wedding was small enough they didn't _need_ a receiving line. Frank and Noelle were introduced, followed by Sarah and Nick, then Oliver and Traci and where everyone expected to hear Sam and Andy's name there was silence. Sarah glared at her husband, he just grinned and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we've _all_ waited a long time for this introduction and here they are: the new Mr. and Mrs. ... Is it Swarek or _McSwarek_?" a mix of laughter and whistles could be heard throughout their friends and family. "Let's hear it for the bride and groom: Sam and Andy Swarek." Sam and Andy entered their reception and were immediately engulfed by their friends and family.


	66. Chapter 66

After dinner came speeches, Oliver was given explicit instructions to behave - he had his fun at their engagement party - so he kept it simple:

"Sammy, I've stood beside you many times through the years, never have I been prouder than today. Thank you for letting me be a part of one of the greatest days of your life, brother. Andy, you are a beautiful bride, my brother is lucky to have you and I'm lucky to know you. The love you two share is something very special, may you always know the happiness you do today, may the love that lights your eyes and your smiles always burn this bright."

Traci was next. "Oliver, did you steal my notes? I never woulda believed that the Sam Swarek I met outta the academy would one day be swearing to love my best friend for life, but that's exactly what happened today. I watched my best friend promise to love a man every rookie but one was afraid of ... she was that one." She looked at Sam and Andy."We knew this day would come, a love like yours doesn't happen every day, I'm just grateful you let me be here to be a part of it. May all your tomorrows be as amazing as today."

Up next was Sarah.

"I'm gonna keep this short so I don't cry ... Andy, you are _the_ reason my brother smiles, you are _the_ love I hoped he'd find. Thank you for loving my brother and welcome to the Swarek family."

Sam stood up and walked to his sister. Kissing her on the cheek, he whispered, "Thank you." Sarah walked over and hugged Andy.

And finally, came Tommy's. "It's not easy for a man to admit he's no longer the center of his little girl's world, but, I've known since they met that Sam was the man I'd have to share her heart with ... and from the moment they got together, I was ok with that because I knew Sam would love her as much as I do." He turned to Sam, " Today I watched you make every dream she never knew she had come true. For that, Sam, I can never thank you enough. For the love you give my little girl ... you are _the_ answer to this dad's prayer for the love his girl deserves. Thank you for loving my daughter, for being everything she wants and needs. I'm proud and honored to call you my son." He looked at Andy, "You may be his wife, but you'll _always_ be _my_ little girl ..."

There were tears in both Sam and Andy's eyes when he finished.

Sam pulled Andy's chair out so she could stand and hug her dad. "Thank you, Dad."

Tommy wrapped his arms around her. "I don't tell you this enough, kiddo, but I love you and I'm proud of you."

"I love you, too."

Tommy shook Sam's hand. "I don't have to tell you to take care of her 'cause I know you will ..."

"Yes, sir."

Nobody was surprised when instead of sitting back down, Andy went over to the mic.

"I begged Sam to let me go first, I have _no_ idea what he's gonna say but I know I'm probably gonna cry, so ..."

Sam smiled as he shook his head.

"There are so many things I wanna say I don't know where to start." She looked at the head table. "Frank, I know if anyone besides Sam and I were counting down to today, it was you because you don't have to give us anymore time off for wedding plans."

Frank smiled. "To see you guys this happy, Andy, it was worth it."

"Noelle, if all you were was my superior officer I'd still count myself lucky, but you're so much more. You're the closest thing to a mom I've had in a _long_ time, more than that, I get to call you my friend.

Nick, you're the brother I never had, never knew I _wanted_ ... until I met you. You mean more to me than you know.

Sarah, I'll come back to you ...

Trac, there's no one else I could've imagined standing beside me today.

Oliver, from day one, you've been a second father to me.

Thank you _all_ for standing with us today, your love and support mean more than you know."

Andy looked at Gail. "I had _no_ idea what I was walking down the aisle to until I walked down it. I've always known that my walk down the aisle would be memorable, thank you, Gail, for helping Sam make it unforgettable."

She looked at Sarah. "Sarah, not only did you stand beside me today, you gave me the greatest gift ... you welcomed me into your family."

Andy paused taking a deep breath before looking at Sam.

"I knew the moment we met you changed my life forever ... at the time, I'll admit, I _didn't_ think it was for the better, I mean it was my _first_ day out of the academy and you called me on the carpet in front of the staff sergeant! I don't think _anybody_ thought we'd be standing here that first day. I don't know which one of us Boyko was trying to punish by making you my training officer. Looking back, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't do anything different ... well, maybe the part where you hauled me into Boyko's office!"

Everybody laughed.

"You became my teacher, you became my partner, you became my _friend_ ... and somewhere along the way you became the very beat of my heart. You are _the_ love of my life ... Thank you for making, for _being_, every dream I had, come true. I love you."

There were tears in Sam's eyes as well as everyone else's as he stood up and walked to where Andy stood. Cradling her face in his hands he whispered, "I love you," before he kissed her. The arm he put around her waist kept Andy from going back to the table.

"Most of you are probably thinkin' 'Sammy doesn't do touchy feely, warm and fuzzy speeches' and any other day I would say you're right, I don't. But today isn't any other day ..."

He looked at the head table. "Frank, let me echo my bride and thank you for the flexibility you've allowed us to put this wedding together in a month and a half. You're not _just_ our staff sergeant, you're a long time friend.

The lovely Noelle, yes, I know if it was any other day you'd kick my ass for that, but you truly do look lovely ... you even make Frank look good," he winked at Noelle who smiled.

"Nick, you're no longer the new kid of the division, you're the one I entrust to bring this vision in ivory satin home safe each shift.

Sarah, what can I say, Sis?

Traci, you look absolutely stunning. Jerry would be beaming with pride.

Oliver, brother, we've been through just about everything together. I can't imagine anyone else standing next to me today.

Thank you all for standing with us, for supporting us."

Sam looked at Gail. "When she asked me to play today, I drew a blank until I heard '_When God Made You_' ... Considering I sprung the song on you last night, you coulda said no, but you didn't, 'thank you' is inadequate but Gail, it's all I have ..."

Gail smiled and said, "It's enough."

He paused and looked at the empty chair at the head table. "My beautiful bride never mentioned the empty chair at the head table.

It was hard to imagine today a year ago. We had just buried Jerry. I lost my best friend, my brother.

Getting married _wasn't_ something I thought a lot about, but I can honestly say that when I did I never thought I'd be doing it _without_ Jerry. But that was our reality today.

I gave _him_ a hard time because he and Traci were planning a destination wedding. I asked him what was wrong with City Hall ... he laughed and told me he couldn't wait til I put a ring on McNally's finger. I told him to keep waiting.

Jerry _knew_ this day would come ... took great pleasure in riding my ass because I hadn't told Andy I loved her yet. I can _still_ hear him say 'Sammy, why don't you just tell her you love her?'

I listened to that for two years. Accused _me_ of being stubborn."

Coughs covered up a chorus of agreements.

"Said he wanted to be there the day it happened, the day I _finally_ said those three little words to someone _other_ than Sarah or Sami," he smiled at his sister and niece.

"And I guess he was ... just as he was still here today."

Sam cleared his throat. "If he'd been here he woulda been sitting at that table ... the empty chair is _our_ way of acknowledging his presence, his memory ... his friendship.

Miss ya, brother."

Sam looked at Andy, their family and friend forgotten as he spoke.

"If anyone had told me I'd get laid out on my ass by a girl her first day in uniform I woulda laughed and told them to give their head a shake ... but that's exactly how this began."

They shared a soft smile.

"You're not the only one who knew their life had changed in that moment, and _not_ because of what happened with the op I was working. Never in my life had I seen anyone with that determination. Most people, including my friends and my sister, woulda kept their distance, but not you. You didn't care what it cost you, if it meant the case got solved. Didn't even know your name yet, but I got my first glimpse of a lion's heart ...

It wasn't exactly a secret that I was back in uniform _only_ until Guns and Gangs had an assignment for me ... that was until Boyko called your name followed by mine, announcing that I was your training officer.

I was _sure_ there was someone in hell that I had pissed off. _My_ first day back in uniform after 8 months of being off the streets and I had to spend 10 hours with not just _a_ rookie, but _the_ rookie who had turned my world upside down.

I'll admit, at the time, I wondered if Boyko was trying to scare you into turning in your badge, saying you didn't have what it takes. But you didn't.

Ask anyone, they'll tell you, hell _I_ told you, I don't always follow the rules. But it didn't take long to figure out that you weren't afraid to bend them or break them." Sam smiled thinking back to Emily.

"I asked you that day if you were scared, you said no ... because I was there. I knew in that moment, I was stickin' around because I wanted you to _always_ be that confident in yourself.

It's never _easy_ when we take another life, even harder when someone's as compassionate as you are. It broke my heart to see you struggle with that.

Rookies don't go under ... unless that rookie is you. _You_ wanted to be the one to back me up ... I backed _you_ up because I knew you could do it.

That day at Supernova, I _know_ I stunned my brother when you asked why I wasn't jumping at the chance to go back under and I said I couldn't imagine my life without you ... had no idea when I said it, that the truth of that comment would be realized only moments later when you took that bullet to the vest.

Then I turned _both_ of our lives upside down by going under ... leave it to _my_ rookie to find me ... even undercover."

"Uh, Sammy ... we don't need _those_ details," Oliver whispered loudly.

Sam laughed as he shook his head before turning back to Andy.

"I don't think _anyone_ has _ever_ had the blind faith in me that you do ... I know I probably haven't always deserved it,"

"He finally admits it!" Oliver coughed making everyone laugh.

Sam ignored him.  
"But you've stood beside me, you've backed me up, without question, without doubt ...

There's no question, there's no doubt, that if I had to do it all over again, I'd do it in a heartbeat if it means I stand next to you for the rest of my life.

Yeah, I may have _helped_ teach you to be a cop, but you, _you_ taught me how to be in love ... remember the very first song I played for you?"

Andy couldn't speak, so she nodded.

"I chose it, because it's true - _you_ are the woman that I've always dreamed of ... and didn't think I'd ever find. As the song we'll dance to in a few minutes says, it's you and me _forever_ .. you are the one and _only_ love I'll ever have, I'll ever want or need. You are my _life_. I love you."

Andy had warned him she'd cry ... and she did, she was, but she wasn't alone, there were tears in everyone's eyes as Sam put into words what was in his heart.


	67. Chapter 67

"Come here." Andy shook her head as Sam wrapped his arms around her.

"Your uniform ..." she tried to pull away.

"Can get cleaned. Come here."

Andy wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Alright, you two, break it up."

"Oliver ..." Sam growled.

Andy laughed through her tears as she whispered, "It's ok."

Sam looked at her and brushed a tear away. "Are you sure?"

Andy smiled as Sam reluctantly let her go.

"Happy?" he grumbled.

Oliver smiled as he engulfed Andy in a hug. "Yes."

Oliver missed the look that passed between the bridal couple and was completely caught off guard when she cuffed him upside the head.

"_OW_! What was _that_ for?" Oliver rubbed his head as Sam laughed and said, "You need to _ask_?"

Oliver looked from Sam to Andy in confusion, then laughed. "Guess I had that comin'."

"Ya think? How could you?"

"You weren't supposed to be on the phone and _hear_ it ..."

"That woulda made it ok?"

"Uh, Sammy, help me out here ..."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right? I am _not_ lettin' you drag me into the doghouse on my wedding night, brother ... Besides, did _I_ not cuff you upside the head this morning when you _said_ it?"

"Well, yeah ..."

Their conversation was cut off when Sam and Andy's presence was requested on the dance floor.  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for the newlyweds." The familiar melody of _I Give All My Love to You_ flowed through the air as Sam wrapped his arms around his bride.

"Tommy, if you would join your beautiful daughter on the floor," Sam handed Andy over to her dad as Heartland began to sing about a father telling his daughter's new husband how he had loved her first in the song _I Loved Her First_.

Sarah was surprised when Sam asked her to dance as the father/daughter dance came to an end and Rascal Flatts' _My Wish_ began to play. "Sammy, what ..."

"Even _if_ there was a mom in the picture today, I couldn't imagine dancing with anyone but _you_ ..."

Sarah let him lead her onto the floor.

Sami giggled in surprise when Sam picked her up and began to dance with her.

Sam put Sami down, kissed Sarah on the cheek and went to get Andy as Randy Newman's _You've Got a Friend_ began to play. Soon they were joined by Frank and Noelle, Sarah and Nick and Traci and Oliver.

If asked, they would deny it saying it was a coincidence that Gail caught the bouquet while Nick caught the garter.

Shortly before midnight they disappeared with only Sarah knowing they were gone.

Andy laughed when Sam carried her over the threshold.

Sam wasted _no_ time losing his jacket and tie while Andy kicked off her heels. If she didn't _see_ a pair of heels ..

Andy sat on the bed and began to attempt to take down her hair. Cursing the bobby pins that held her hair prisoner, Andy had only managed to find one before Sam grabbed her wrist. She was so focused on what she was doing she didn't know Sam was there until he touched her.

"This was a _bad_ idea," she huffed.

Sam chuckled. "No, it wasn't. You look beautiful. Lemme do it."

Because he could _see_ what he was doing it wasn't long before her hair was falling in waves around her shoulders.

Andy sighed as she felt Sam comb his fingers through her hair massaging her scalp. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Sam smiled as Andy removed all her jewelry ... all but her wedding rings.

He placed a box on the bed beside her.

"What's this?"

"Wedding present."

"Uh, you _gave_ me a wedding present," she picked up her watch, "recognize this?"

Sam laughed as he kissed her cheek. "Yeah, I recognize it. Just as I'm sure you recognize these ..." he pulled the dog tag out of his shirt and rolled his sleeve to show his bracelet.

Andy smiled. "You wore 'em?"

"Of course."

He picked the box up and placed it in her hand. "Open it, baby ... please?"

"_Fine_! But if you get to give me one more gift, you can't get mad because I have one for you ..." she got up and went to her bag, removing a box identical to the one on the bed. She handed it to Sam.

"What's this?"

"Wedding present."

"Andy ..."

She placed a finger to his lips. "Just open it, babe ... please?"

Sam sat on the bed and pulled her down with him.

"Open them together?" he handed her the box.

Andy smiled. "Ok."

They lifted the lids together and laughed.

Hers said: _For My Bride  
On Our Wedding Day ..._

His said: _For My Groom_  
_On Our Wedding Day_ ...

They were memory books.

Sam kissed her.

"Would you mind if we opened Sami's?"

Sam smiled as he got up and came back with the gift his sister had given them as they'd left.

Andy opened the box and Sam peeled back the tissue paper to find an ivory lace album. Sam lifted it out of the box and Andy noticed an envelope Sami had printed: _Uncle Sammy & Aunt_.

Andy picked it up and read:

_To my aunt and uncle with love on your wedding day. In case you forget, this will remind you ..._

Sam shrugged as he opened the album to see an ivory invitation that read:

_Two hearts, one love_

on the outer fold while the inside read:

_Because you have shared in our lives by your friendship and love, we_

_Andrea McNally  
and  
Samuel Swarek_

_invite you to share in the celebration of our marriage_.

Turning the pages, they found that Sarah had compiled a scrapbook from Sami for their engagement through the wedding. It included hard copies of all the speeches from after dinner. The last page read: _The First Day of Forever_ and had instructions to put their favorite wedding picture there.


End file.
